The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

SCOTUS Pick? BFD, Says Biden

Posted on | April 13, 2010 | 15 Comments

by Smitty (photo: Top of the Ticket)

BHO: I’ve got to pick a SCOTUS nominee. Whoever pulls my finger first gets the nod.
JRB: [runs] Bravely, Finally Dispatched!
BHO: Joe, you already have a job, which is taxing you to the utmost of your abilities. Here’s what we do. We run through the most most radical lefties we’ve got, get the GOP to wast a bunch of political capital, then reel it back in a little.
HRC: I don’t care what song and dance you put on, Barack: I’m calling in my markers from the campaign. You’ve squandered the whole party’s chances on a complete disaster of a health care bill that wasn’t half the fine work I produced back when we had a real President.
BHO: The campaign is over. Who will possibly measure up to the *cough*standard*cough* you’ve set as Secretary of State?
JRB: Brash, Fashionable Diplomat?
HRC: [glowers at Joe] I would recommend Colin Powell. He endorsed you before the election, then doubled down on Larry King. The General will support you rather than look like he’s retreating. Or like Joe Biden.
JRB: [mutters] Bizotchy, Freestyle Dig.
BHO: Hmmm. . .I don’t know if Colin’s completely burned out or not. Also, will he sign on to this administration’s prime directive?
JRB: Blame First Dubya?
BHO: That’s exactly right, Joe. Those critics who claimed you’re incapable of learning have completely sub-mis-demi-underestimated you. Admittedly, you do set the bar low.
RIE: Can we afford to lose much crisis-time to confirmation hearings? If McConnell and his effing retreads go for a filly, we stand to lose opportunity on cap & trade, as well as immigration reform.
JRB: [excited] Bodacious Fromage Delicacy!
BHO: Rahm meant a filibuster, not a philly cheese steak, Joe. Do you need to go to your room?
RIE: Now, Joe himself was on the Senate Judiciary Comittee. Maybe you nominate Joe to SCOTUS, and me as the replacement Vice President. I can still function as CoS, and we can send Joe to state funerals as required, particularly if they are in Russia.
JRB: [downcast] Bitter Final Destination.
BHO: It would be unprecedented for us to order the Judicial Branch around like that, but Roberts does need to be brought to heel. On the other hand, it’s well known that the thought of Joe Biden as my replacement has motivated even my staunchest foes to pray for my continued health and well-being. I can’t just liquidate that sort of good will.
At any rate, I’ll let you know Michelle’s decision tomorrow.


15 Responses to “SCOTUS Pick? BFD, Says Biden”

  1. » Biden’s fate determined
    April 13th, 2010 @ 8:00 am

    […] Smitty envisions the scene. (Bogus fantasy detected? Well, maybe.) […]

  2. Bob Belvedere
    April 13th, 2010 @ 10:03 am

    Bodacious Fromage Delicacy!

    I knew you’d get a Rule 5 reference worked in there somehow.

  3. kansas
    April 13th, 2010 @ 12:25 pm

    Alcee Hastings has judicial experience. Pull that finger.

  4. smitty
    April 13th, 2010 @ 1:41 pm

    From out of where?

  5. Joe
    April 13th, 2010 @ 2:59 pm
  6. Rich Fader
    April 13th, 2010 @ 3:03 pm

    Alcee might be worth it to see if he can be the first guy to get impeached twice.

  7. smitty
    April 13th, 2010 @ 3:14 pm

    Manbearpig is a creature of infinite disgust.
    Oh, you said ‘discuss’: no.

  8. Joe
    April 13th, 2010 @ 3:29 pm

    Stalking the wiley Man-Bear-Pig. Hint, hide out near the watering hole.