Memo to Steven L. Taylor: You Can’t Drive If You Can’t Read the Road Signs

Posted on | April 24, 2010 | 34 Comments

Frankly, I was stunned to see my fellow JSU alumnus Dr. James Joyner endorse this bit of antinomian nonsense:

[I]f you actually want people who are not fully proficient in English to have demonstrated their capacity to drive, then you probably want to give the test in a way that will make sure that they understand it. And while it is ideal that those living in Alabama speak English, the bottom line is that if you don’t have tests that your residents can understand, they aren’t going to wait to learn English before they can take a driver’s license test, rather they are simply going to drive without a license.

That’s an argument we’re supposed to take seriously? If someone is driving without a license, they’ll be arrested as soon as they’re pulled over for speeding or running a red light, thus curtailing their career as a traffic menace.

You might as well say there’s no point setting 16 as the minimum age for a driver’s license, because some 15 year olds will just drive without a license anyway. For that matter, why bother suspending the licenses of DUI offenders? They’ll just drive drunk anyway.

Tim James is right: If you want a drivers license, you need to pass the test in English, primarily because the road signs are written in English.

Dr. Joyner, who lives in the D.C. area, really ought to get this point. Since moving to the D.C. area in 1997, I’ve been astonished by the atrocious driving habits of Washingtonians. And one of the biggest problems is that the region is home to a lot of foreigners (including the ones with diplomatic tags on their cars) who can’t read the freaking road signs!

Anybody who’s spent much time driving D.C.-area freeways learns to recognize the telltale habits of the confused foreigner, poking along in the middle lane, desperately trying to figure out where he should exit because he can’t read the freaking road signs!

God knows at least 1 out of 5 drivers — both foreign and domestic — on Washington-area roads are self-evidently incapable of comprehending what is meant by, “Right Lane Closed 1 Mile Ahead. Merge Left.” Basic driving concepts like “merge” and “yield” and “slow traffic keep right” clearly have no meaning to these people, and the nightmarish experience of driving in D.C. has convinced me that illiteracy is a greater menace to automotive safety than drunk driving. I’d gladly bet $100 that I could drive better with an .08 blood-alcohol level than the average Washingtonian could drive cold sober.

If you can’t read the road signs, you’re not qualified to drive, period. You can take the bus or call a cab, but whatever you do, please stay the hell out of my way!

(This message has been brought to you by the R.S. McCain School of International Relations. Our motto: “Don’t Take It Personal, Amigo. We Hate Canadians Even Worse.”)

UPDATE: Taylor has responded at his blog, which only allows registered commenters, so I’ll reply here:

Steven, let’s hypothetically suppose that 15% of adults in the U.S. are either illiterate or otherwise incapable of passing a written driver’s exam in English. Now, subtract 15% of the traffic volume from rush hour. Isn’t that a beautiful hypothetical?
Furthermore, if we stipulate that illiterates and non-English-proficient immigrants are worse drivers than people who can actually read the signs– and I think simple logic would suggest that this is the case — the requirement of passing a written test subtracts from traffic some of the worst drivers on the road. Ergo, fewer accidents, lower insurance rates and fewer traffic jams caused by accidents.
Where’s the downside of Tim James’ proposal, Steve? There is none, except perhaps a bit of extra hassle for the illiterates who are forced to ride the bus instead of driving — and given the dangerous way foreigners drive, making them ride the bus might save their lives.

But I suppose Taylor doesn’t care how many foreigners kill themselves in traffic accidents because they can’t read signs that say “no left turn” or “yield.” Hater!

UPDATE II: Katherine Mangu-Ward is also offended by the Tim James ad. I consider her a friend, but she’s a Yale graduate which automatically makes her one of those pointy-heads who can’t even park their bicycles straight. And she wouldn’t know Junior Johnson from Ned Jarrett.

Category: Foreigners

Comments

34 Responses to “Memo to Steven L. Taylor: You Can’t Drive If You Can’t Read the Road Signs”

Steven Taylor
April 24th, 2010 @ 7:32 pm

In re: English and road signs: click.
Steven Taylor
April 24th, 2010 @ 2:32 pm

In re: English and road signs: click.
James Joyner
April 24th, 2010 @ 8:07 pm

I’ve driven in Europe, including in countries where I didn’t read the language. But, oddly, if I was trying to exit in Ramstein, I could fathom that the Ramstein exit would get me there.

I suppose it would be more problematic in places with radically different alphabets. Although, come to think of it, we managed to get around Saudi Arabia without too much incident despite none of us having a clue what the squiggles on the road signs meant.
James Joyner
April 24th, 2010 @ 3:07 pm

I’ve driven in Europe, including in countries where I didn’t read the language. But, oddly, if I was trying to exit in Ramstein, I could fathom that the Ramstein exit would get me there.

I suppose it would be more problematic in places with radically different alphabets. Although, come to think of it, we managed to get around Saudi Arabia without too much incident despite none of us having a clue what the squiggles on the road signs meant.
Charlie (Colorado)
April 24th, 2010 @ 8:13 pm

Um, Stacy, this is basically nuts. I’ve driven all over Europe, both places where I spoke the language, like Germany, and places I didn’t speak the language, like Wales and France. I’ve even managed in Japan, where they not only don’t drive on the right side of the road, they write the road signs largely in Japanese.
Charlie (Colorado)
April 24th, 2010 @ 3:13 pm

Um, Stacy, this is basically nuts. I’ve driven all over Europe, both places where I spoke the language, like Germany, and places I didn’t speak the language, like Wales and France. I’ve even managed in Japan, where they not only don’t drive on the right side of the road, they write the road signs largely in Japanese.
Robert Stacy McCain
April 24th, 2010 @ 8:20 pm

I’ve driven in Europe, including in countries where I didn’t read the language. But, oddly, if I was trying to exit in Ramstein, I could fathom that the Ramstein exit would get me there.

Yeah, but you’re a Ph.D. — and an American. Hell, we practically invented driving. The day some guy named Juan Gomez or Chong Li wins Talladega, that’s the day I’ll believe that foreigners can drive as good as a red-blooded American man. (Women can’t drive as good as us, either. Danica Patrick’s just the Anna Kournikova of NASCAR.)

But your basic problem here is that you are mistaking this for a serious policy debate. It’s a Republican primary in Alabama, Dr. J. Wake up and smell the populism!
Robert Stacy McCain
April 24th, 2010 @ 3:20 pm

I’ve driven in Europe, including in countries where I didn’t read the language. But, oddly, if I was trying to exit in Ramstein, I could fathom that the Ramstein exit would get me there.

Yeah, but you’re a Ph.D. — and an American. Hell, we practically invented driving. The day some guy named Juan Gomez or Chong Li wins Talladega, that’s the day I’ll believe that foreigners can drive as good as a red-blooded American man. (Women can’t drive as good as us, either. Danica Patrick’s just the Anna Kournikova of NASCAR.)

But your basic problem here is that you are mistaking this for a serious policy debate. It’s a Republican primary in Alabama, Dr. J. Wake up and smell the populism!
Steven Taylor
April 24th, 2010 @ 9:38 pm

Actually, I am in the process of some updates, so the comment situation is in flux.

Regardless, you really are eliding the main point. Which is 1) there is a difference between the English level proficiency in taking a test versus reading traffic sign, 2) the vast majority of traffic signs are symbols, and 3) most importantly of all the whole point of allowing persons to take the test in their own language is to make certain they understand the rules of the road.

But again, I would state that the graphic I posted on my site rather substantially undercuts your “road signs are in English” argument.

And really, in your response to Joyner you seem not to really be taking the policy side of the debate seriously anyway, so I ultimately unclear on what your point is. If the point is that Tim James can score points in the GOP primary by appealing to English-only sentiments in some segments of the Alabama population, you are absolutely correct.
Steven Taylor
April 24th, 2010 @ 4:38 pm

Actually, I am in the process of some updates, so the comment situation is in flux.

Regardless, you really are eliding the main point. Which is 1) there is a difference between the English level proficiency in taking a test versus reading traffic sign, 2) the vast majority of traffic signs are symbols, and 3) most importantly of all the whole point of allowing persons to take the test in their own language is to make certain they understand the rules of the road.

But again, I would state that the graphic I posted on my site rather substantially undercuts your “road signs are in English” argument.

And really, in your response to Joyner you seem not to really be taking the policy side of the debate seriously anyway, so I ultimately unclear on what your point is. If the point is that Tim James can score points in the GOP primary by appealing to English-only sentiments in some segments of the Alabama population, you are absolutely correct.
K
April 25th, 2010 @ 12:30 am

Sorry to disappoint anyone, but out here in Mexifornia, there’s no problem either way. The illegals learn to drive very very safely because the last thing they want is to get pulled over.

So we get a totally D-rat oriented state that’s broke from union payouts and 50 percent of the population as alien non taxpayers, with an upside of safer roads, cheap food and gardening service.
K
April 24th, 2010 @ 7:30 pm

Sorry to disappoint anyone, but out here in Mexifornia, there’s no problem either way. The illegals learn to drive very very safely because the last thing they want is to get pulled over.

So we get a totally D-rat oriented state that’s broke from union payouts and 50 percent of the population as alien non taxpayers, with an upside of safer roads, cheap food and gardening service.
MrMaryk
April 25th, 2010 @ 1:20 am

Stacy,

Even though Danica Patrick IS driving this year in NASCAR, she’s really the Anna Kournikova of Indycar racing.
MrMaryk
April 24th, 2010 @ 8:20 pm

Stacy,

Even though Danica Patrick IS driving this year in NASCAR, she’s really the Anna Kournikova of Indycar racing.
Doh-San
April 25th, 2010 @ 1:37 am

It’s worse than you think, sir. It isn’t so much that these foreign drivers (especially in the DC area) can’t read the signs, it’s that they simply don’t care. Many of these people come from third-world hell-holes where traffic laws — if they exist at all — are regarded as merely suggestions.
Doh-San
April 24th, 2010 @ 8:37 pm

It’s worse than you think, sir. It isn’t so much that these foreign drivers (especially in the DC area) can’t read the signs, it’s that they simply don’t care. Many of these people come from third-world hell-holes where traffic laws — if they exist at all — are regarded as merely suggestions.
Dave
April 25th, 2010 @ 2:23 am

Danica has actually won an Indy race, though. Granted, just the one, but it’s more wins than Kournikova had in singles in the WTA (now, as half of a doubles team, she won a couple of majors, but no one cares about doubles).
Dave
April 24th, 2010 @ 9:23 pm

Danica has actually won an Indy race, though. Granted, just the one, but it’s more wins than Kournikova had in singles in the WTA (now, as half of a doubles team, she won a couple of majors, but no one cares about doubles).
just a conservative girl
April 25th, 2010 @ 2:53 am

Hey, I went to Yale. We are not so bad.
just a conservative girl
April 24th, 2010 @ 9:53 pm

Hey, I went to Yale. We are not so bad.
Estragon
April 25th, 2010 @ 10:45 am

The lack of respect for Danica Patrick as we enter Sunday is truly appalling.

And Yale girls aren’t necessarily bad, but most of them still need to be punished.
Estragon
April 25th, 2010 @ 5:45 am

The lack of respect for Danica Patrick as we enter Sunday is truly appalling.

And Yale girls aren’t necessarily bad, but most of them still need to be punished.
MrMaryk
April 25th, 2010 @ 2:54 pm

Oh no, I love Danica Patrick. She led the Indy 500 for a few laps and nearly won it a few years ago – the first to do so, and in the process completely overshadowed the actual winner. I root for her in every race, and not because she’s good looking. She’s GOOD, and she brings attention to car racing much like Tiger Woods did 10-15 years ago to golf.

I was merely pointing out a error of fact on Stacy’s part.
MrMaryk
April 25th, 2010 @ 9:54 am

Oh no, I love Danica Patrick. She led the Indy 500 for a few laps and nearly won it a few years ago – the first to do so, and in the process completely overshadowed the actual winner. I root for her in every race, and not because she’s good looking. She’s GOOD, and she brings attention to car racing much like Tiger Woods did 10-15 years ago to golf.

I was merely pointing out a error of fact on Stacy’s part.
Robert Stacy McCain
April 25th, 2010 @ 7:06 pm

Hey, I went to Yale. We are not so bad.

I see your point.

On top of your head.

Ba-da-BOOM!

These are the jokes, people. I’ll be here until Tuesday. Try the veal. Be sure to tip your bartenders and waitresses.
Robert Stacy McCain
April 25th, 2010 @ 2:06 pm

Hey, I went to Yale. We are not so bad.

I see your point.

On top of your head.

Ba-da-BOOM!

These are the jokes, people. I’ll be here until Tuesday. Try the veal. Be sure to tip your bartenders and waitresses.
Thomas L. Knapp
April 25th, 2010 @ 8:13 pm

This shouldn’t be complicated. Here’s a short multiple-choice test to help you figure it out.

1) The purpose of licensing drivers is:

a) To ensure that drivers meet reasonable standards of safety and proficiency; or

b) To engage in cultural/social engineering.

If you answered A, then it should be obvious to you that Tim James is fucking retarded.

If you answered B, it is obvious to everyone else that you are too.
Thomas L. Knapp
April 25th, 2010 @ 3:13 pm

This shouldn’t be complicated. Here’s a short multiple-choice test to help you figure it out.

1) The purpose of licensing drivers is:

a) To ensure that drivers meet reasonable standards of safety and proficiency; or

b) To engage in cultural/social engineering.

If you answered A, then it should be obvious to you that Tim James is fucking retarded.

If you answered B, it is obvious to everyone else that you are too.
Roxeanne de Luca
April 25th, 2010 @ 11:29 pm

I studied French for five years. I read Candide and La Princesse de Cleves in French, along with some Sartre and Camus. In French.

When I was in France, I managed fairly well – the biggest problem was translating signs as I came up to them going about 140 km/hour.

(Women can’t drive as good as us, either. Danica Patrick’s just the Anna Kournikova of NASCAR.)

Next time you’re in Boston, Stacy, you’re going to ride shotgun in my Volvo and let me prove you wrong on that point.
Roxeanne de Luca
April 25th, 2010 @ 6:29 pm

I studied French for five years. I read Candide and La Princesse de Cleves in French, along with some Sartre and Camus. In French.

When I was in France, I managed fairly well – the biggest problem was translating signs as I came up to them going about 140 km/hour.

(Women can’t drive as good as us, either. Danica Patrick’s just the Anna Kournikova of NASCAR.)

Next time you’re in Boston, Stacy, you’re going to ride shotgun in my Volvo and let me prove you wrong on that point.
William
April 26th, 2010 @ 4:55 am

To live in a world where people are forced to know enough English to take a simple test that a fifth grader could follow or they’d be forced to take the bus? Truly the stuff of dictatorships, and not the logical way to run a country.

Or to put it another way: They don’t have to answer in haiku and understand words like “discombobulate.” If the test is 70% understanding the concepts and signs, let them do the extra 30% of basic vocab.
William
April 25th, 2010 @ 11:55 pm

To live in a world where people are forced to know enough English to take a simple test that a fifth grader could follow or they’d be forced to take the bus? Truly the stuff of dictatorships, and not the logical way to run a country.

Or to put it another way: They don’t have to answer in haiku and understand words like “discombobulate.” If the test is 70% understanding the concepts and signs, let them do the extra 30% of basic vocab.
Lucas Parker
May 3rd, 2010 @ 6:00 pm

Anna Kournikova is one of the sexiest russian tennis players i have ever seen. Russian tennis players are really pretty eh.`-:
Lucas Parker
May 3rd, 2010 @ 1:00 pm

Anna Kournikova is one of the sexiest russian tennis players i have ever seen. Russian tennis players are really pretty eh.`-: