The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

My Fellow Redneck, Seema Jilani

Posted on | May 13, 2010 | 39 Comments

The experience of being a Muslim after 9/11 evidently aroused her to the prejudice experienced by those of us guilty of being Southern after 1861:

Oddly, the same people who disparage us also have love affairs with our culture. They ridicule us and then profess their love for Nina Simone, Austin, Johnny Cash or Louisiana’s crawfish etouffee dish when it’s trendy. This brings me to my favourite specimens: cocktail party progressives. You know the type – can’t converse without referencing the New Yorker. Pretentious, self-congratulatory liberals who applaud their own humanity while mocking the south. Curiously, they feign knowledge of Hank Williams when fashionable, but their intellectual elitism forgets that Truman Capote and Tennessee Williams were southern geniuses.
I adore our southern nights and the taste of authenticity in Willie Nelson’s voice and Muddy Waters’ blues. I love that we celebrate colossally in New Orleans: Jazz Fest, Crawfish Fest, Mardi Gras, even Jazz Funerals. I was touched when kind neighbours baked us casseroles and stood by us as we endured post-9/11 racism. I am proud that Houstonians opened their homes to 250,000 New Orleans evacuees. That’s genuine southern hospitality. Southerners are not the ignorant, inbreeding, toothless rifle-owning trailer trash that my progressive colleagues paint them as. They are vibrant, passionate Americans with resolve. . . .

Jiliani didn’t mention William Faulkner or Mark Twain or Edgard Allen Poe or Willie Morris on her list of “southern geniuses,” but there’s never enough room, eh?

Also: “Southern” should always be capitalized as a proper noun. “Southern” refers to a people and a culture, whereas  “northern” is merely a direction.

Hat-tip: Toothless inbred trailer trash Glenn Reynolds.

Comments

39 Responses to “My Fellow Redneck, Seema Jilani”

  1. Bob Belvedere
    May 13th, 2010 @ 8:38 pm

    “Southern” refers to a people and a culture, whereas ”northern” is merely a direction.

    I’ll overlook that one – this time – because we did WIN THE WAR.

  2. Bob Belvedere
    May 13th, 2010 @ 3:38 pm

    “Southern” refers to a people and a culture, whereas ”northern” is merely a direction.

    I’ll overlook that one – this time – because we did WIN THE WAR.

  3. Robert Stacy McCain
    May 13th, 2010 @ 9:01 pm

    I’ll overlook that one – this time – because we did WIN THE WAR.
    Salt + wound = DAMN YANKEE!

  4. Robert Stacy McCain
    May 13th, 2010 @ 4:01 pm

    I’ll overlook that one – this time – because we did WIN THE WAR.
    Salt + wound = DAMN YANKEE!

  5. ConantheCimmerian
    May 13th, 2010 @ 9:04 pm

    And we are are Southrons. Proper english folks.

    Bob Belvedere
    May 13th, 2010 @ 03 38

    “Southern” refers to a people and a culture, whereas ”northern” is merely a direction.

    I’ll overlook that one – this time – because we did WIN THE WAR.

    And, thus, destroyed the Constitution and committed Total War against the women and children of the South. There is so much of which to be proud there.

  6. ConantheCimmerian
    May 13th, 2010 @ 4:04 pm

    And we are are Southrons. Proper english folks.

    Bob Belvedere
    May 13th, 2010 @ 03 38

    “Southern” refers to a people and a culture, whereas ”northern” is merely a direction.

    I’ll overlook that one – this time – because we did WIN THE WAR.

    And, thus, destroyed the Constitution and committed Total War against the women and children of the South. There is so much of which to be proud there.

  7. goddessoftheclassroom
    May 13th, 2010 @ 9:07 pm

    THANK YOU for including Edgar Allan Poe among the Southern writers you list–so many people don’t, but he himself considered himself a Southerner.

  8. goddessoftheclassroom
    May 13th, 2010 @ 4:07 pm

    THANK YOU for including Edgar Allan Poe among the Southern writers you list–so many people don’t, but he himself considered himself a Southerner.

  9. Red
    May 13th, 2010 @ 9:21 pm

    “Southern” refers to a people and a culture, whereas ”northern” is merely a direction.
    Bravo sir.
    So Belve-dear, ya’ll won what exactly?

  10. Red
    May 13th, 2010 @ 4:21 pm

    “Southern” refers to a people and a culture, whereas ”northern” is merely a direction.
    Bravo sir.
    So Belve-dear, ya’ll won what exactly?

  11. Joe
    May 13th, 2010 @ 9:24 pm

    Southern culture of course reached its zenith with this:

    Biscuits.

    Southern biscuits (which is really an unnecessary description since the only real biscuits are from the South) are perfection.

  12. Joe
    May 13th, 2010 @ 4:24 pm

    Southern culture of course reached its zenith with this:

    Biscuits.

    Southern biscuits (which is really an unnecessary description since the only real biscuits are from the South) are perfection.

  13. Joe
    May 13th, 2010 @ 9:55 pm

    Red-eye gravy too.

  14. Joe
    May 13th, 2010 @ 4:55 pm

    Red-eye gravy too.

  15. Jeff S.
    May 13th, 2010 @ 9:59 pm

    Admiral Chester Nimitz was born in the beautiful Texas Hill Country town of Fredricksburg, which makes up a little for the fact that LBJ was born just down the road (in Texas terms).

    Of course, Texas isn’t the deep south (Texas twang vs southern drawl), but that’s different discussion.

  16. Jeff S.
    May 13th, 2010 @ 4:59 pm

    Admiral Chester Nimitz was born in the beautiful Texas Hill Country town of Fredricksburg, which makes up a little for the fact that LBJ was born just down the road (in Texas terms).

    Of course, Texas isn’t the deep south (Texas twang vs southern drawl), but that’s different discussion.

  17. Joe
    May 13th, 2010 @ 10:32 pm

    Talking about Admirals, Admiral Halsey looked like a very mean frog*, a mean New Jersey frog.

    Of course, Twain probably never met him and certainly not in his old age, so that was probably not what he was referring to.

    * Smitty’s post below has a refernece.

  18. Joe
    May 13th, 2010 @ 5:32 pm

    Talking about Admirals, Admiral Halsey looked like a very mean frog*, a mean New Jersey frog.

    Of course, Twain probably never met him and certainly not in his old age, so that was probably not what he was referring to.

    * Smitty’s post below has a refernece.

  19. Joe
    May 13th, 2010 @ 10:35 pm
  20. Joe
    May 13th, 2010 @ 5:35 pm
  21. Quote of the Year « Obi’s Sister
    May 13th, 2010 @ 5:57 pm

    […] May 13, 2010 at 5:57 pm (Peach State, Stacy's Speedo, Sweet Tea For Me) “‘Southern’ should always be capitalized as a proper noun. “Southern” refers t… […]

  22. Bob Belvedere
    May 13th, 2010 @ 11:06 pm

    Stacy: Don’t worry, if the Bolshes in DC have their way, I won’t be able to get any salt soon.

    Conan: Exactly how was The Constitution destroyed by the US Government in The Civil War?

    FYI Y’ALL: My father’s a Northerner [of Italian descent] and my mother’s a Southerner [Scots-Irish, English, German, Cherokee]. My great great grandfather Robert fought for The Union and two of his brothers and his father fought for The South. I AM THE MELTING POT.

  23. Bob Belvedere
    May 13th, 2010 @ 6:06 pm

    Stacy: Don’t worry, if the Bolshes in DC have their way, I won’t be able to get any salt soon.

    Conan: Exactly how was The Constitution destroyed by the US Government in The Civil War?

    FYI Y’ALL: My father’s a Northerner [of Italian descent] and my mother’s a Southerner [Scots-Irish, English, German, Cherokee]. My great great grandfather Robert fought for The Union and two of his brothers and his father fought for The South. I AM THE MELTING POT.

  24. Joe
    May 13th, 2010 @ 11:28 pm

    Bob Belvedere–is your father an American Northerner or an American Northerner of northern Italian decent?

    Da Tech Guy can tell you, you can’t trust Italians north of Rome.

  25. Joe
    May 13th, 2010 @ 6:28 pm

    Bob Belvedere–is your father an American Northerner or an American Northerner of northern Italian decent?

    Da Tech Guy can tell you, you can’t trust Italians north of Rome.

  26. Bob Belvedere
    May 13th, 2010 @ 11:30 pm

    Southern Italy: the town of Gesualdo in Avellino. And DTG’s right.

  27. Joe
    May 13th, 2010 @ 11:30 pm

    Some would say the same of folks north of Rome, Georgia.

  28. Bob Belvedere
    May 13th, 2010 @ 6:30 pm

    Southern Italy: the town of Gesualdo in Avellino. And DTG’s right.

  29. Joe
    May 13th, 2010 @ 6:30 pm

    Some would say the same of folks north of Rome, Georgia.

  30. westerner
    May 14th, 2010 @ 12:00 am

    We westerners are all sick and tired of you degenerate eastern northerners and southerners and your pathetic rivalries and sick historical resentments.

  31. westerner
    May 13th, 2010 @ 7:00 pm

    We westerners are all sick and tired of you degenerate eastern northerners and southerners and your pathetic rivalries and sick historical resentments.

  32. Seema Jilani
    May 14th, 2010 @ 12:43 am

    Hello there. I am the author of the original article. Thank you for posting this on your website. You are right about the Faulkner reference missing. The original ending is as follows, but the editors had to cut it out for space. Hopefully, this will make you a bit happier.

    “So spare me the politico-babble of how we are an abomination to the sanctity of bleeding heart liberalism. Our hearts bleed when the Gulf Coast, which provides 20% of U.S. seafood, gets 200,000 gallons of poisonous oil thrust into it daily. Our soldiers bleed, Mexicans bleed when they cross the Rio Grande, and my uninsured patients always bleed. We haven’t forgotten the blood of Katrina that the Bush administration washed their hands of either. Did you ridicule our Southern drawls when 50,000 miserable people rotted in the Superdome too? Shame on you. Proponent of immigration reform? It starts at our borders. Want universal healthcare? We are the uninsured capital of the country.

    Instead of snarky quips, extend a sincere hand to help us discover solutions to American problems. If you’d be so obliged, we’ll treat you to Southern hospitality, which means brisket, swaying to Buddy Guy and BB King and discussing Faulkner. We only ask that you stop building cultural firewalls between us; we’d prefer it if you just helped us build levees instead.”

  33. Seema Jilani
    May 13th, 2010 @ 7:43 pm

    Hello there. I am the author of the original article. Thank you for posting this on your website. You are right about the Faulkner reference missing. The original ending is as follows, but the editors had to cut it out for space. Hopefully, this will make you a bit happier.

    “So spare me the politico-babble of how we are an abomination to the sanctity of bleeding heart liberalism. Our hearts bleed when the Gulf Coast, which provides 20% of U.S. seafood, gets 200,000 gallons of poisonous oil thrust into it daily. Our soldiers bleed, Mexicans bleed when they cross the Rio Grande, and my uninsured patients always bleed. We haven’t forgotten the blood of Katrina that the Bush administration washed their hands of either. Did you ridicule our Southern drawls when 50,000 miserable people rotted in the Superdome too? Shame on you. Proponent of immigration reform? It starts at our borders. Want universal healthcare? We are the uninsured capital of the country.

    Instead of snarky quips, extend a sincere hand to help us discover solutions to American problems. If you’d be so obliged, we’ll treat you to Southern hospitality, which means brisket, swaying to Buddy Guy and BB King and discussing Faulkner. We only ask that you stop building cultural firewalls between us; we’d prefer it if you just helped us build levees instead.”

  34. JC
    May 14th, 2010 @ 1:04 am

    I noticed that the good doctor seems to be practicing medicine here in Houston. and just down the street from me (in Houston terms, of course). We never forget that one of the thirteen stars was the Lone Star.

  35. JC
    May 13th, 2010 @ 8:04 pm

    I noticed that the good doctor seems to be practicing medicine here in Houston. and just down the street from me (in Houston terms, of course). We never forget that one of the thirteen stars was the Lone Star.

  36. Bob Belvedere
    May 14th, 2010 @ 11:19 am

    westerner: All you ranchers do is whine about how yout get ignored [Whaaaa! The North and The South forget about us, whaaaa!], while you go swaggering around in your cowboy boots, like you’re Barry Goldwater and John Wayne combined, letting everyone know what rugged individuals you are. As a man of Southern and Northern heritage, let me just say: go inseminate a cow.

  37. Bob Belvedere
    May 14th, 2010 @ 6:19 am

    westerner: All you ranchers do is whine about how yout get ignored [Whaaaa! The North and The South forget about us, whaaaa!], while you go swaggering around in your cowboy boots, like you’re Barry Goldwater and John Wayne combined, letting everyone know what rugged individuals you are. As a man of Southern and Northern heritage, let me just say: go inseminate a cow.

  38. ak4mc
    May 14th, 2010 @ 3:06 pm

    westerner
    May 13th, 2010 @ 07 00

    The weird thing about this comment is, I was actually tempted to post something similar, except funny.

  39. ak4mc
    May 14th, 2010 @ 10:06 am

    westerner
    May 13th, 2010 @ 07 00

    The weird thing about this comment is, I was actually tempted to post something similar, except funny.