AL GORE SEX ATTACK!

Posted on | June 23, 2010 | 30 Comments

There’s a nausea-inducing phrase, eh? The slimy details:

ENQUIRER WORLD EXCLUSIVE: AL GORE has been accused of sexually attacking a masseuse in Portland, Oregon – and is named in the official police report about the alleged assault, The ENQUIRER has learned exclusively!
The bombshell story will appear in the new issue of The ENQUIRER and will include the secret police documents, a photo of the woman making the stunning charges and will reveal the shocking details about the pants she saved as evidence! . . .
We have verified the 62-year-old former VP was in Portland at the time of the alleged incident – Oct. 24, 2006 – and we saw the $540 massage bill.
No criminal charges were brought against Gore, but the Portland police prepared a document marked “Confidential Special Report” – which records the explosive allegations of “unwanted sexual contact” by Al Gore “at a local upscale hotel.”
The ENQUIRER is withholding the name of the 54-year-old woman making the stunning accusations because she is potentially a sex-crime victim. . . .

Wait — she’s 54 years old? This sick freak is going around molesting old ladies? Via Maggie’s Farm and Jammie Wearing Fool, who asks, “Just wondering, does former Clinton lawyer David Kendall still work for the Enquirer?”

Category: Democrats, Scandal, Sex

Comments

30 Responses to “AL GORE SEX ATTACK!”

Bob Belvedere
June 23rd, 2010 @ 2:51 pm

BRAIN BLEACH STAT!!!
Bob Belvedere
June 23rd, 2010 @ 2:51 pm

Stacy, you owe me a lunch…I just lost mine.
Bob Belvedere
June 23rd, 2010 @ 10:51 am

BRAIN BLEACH STAT!!!
Bob Belvedere
June 23rd, 2010 @ 10:51 am

Stacy, you owe me a lunch…I just lost mine.
Dave C
June 23rd, 2010 @ 3:08 pm

I’m sure Al Gore has his share of groupies..

but he hit on his masseuse because she had shaved and taken a bath that morning.
Dave C
June 23rd, 2010 @ 11:08 am

I’m sure Al Gore has his share of groupies..

but he hit on his masseuse because she had shaved and taken a bath that morning.
Joe
June 23rd, 2010 @ 3:25 pm

He paid $540 for a massage? That must have been a hell of a massage. Most charge what, around $60 to $100 an hour?

As for her being in her fifties? Well that might get Al some sympathy in More magazine.
Joe
June 23rd, 2010 @ 11:25 am

He paid $540 for a massage? That must have been a hell of a massage. Most charge what, around $60 to $100 an hour?

As for her being in her fifties? Well that might get Al some sympathy in More magazine.
Joe
June 23rd, 2010 @ 3:30 pm

I have a feeling that the “sex attack” might be Al Gore pleading for a “happy ending” to help relieve some stress. Which might explain that $540 bill.

But hey, the National Inquirer did get the Edwards story spot on, so we will remain to see what spots this well paid massuse has in her possession.
Joe
June 23rd, 2010 @ 11:30 am

I have a feeling that the “sex attack” might be Al Gore pleading for a “happy ending” to help relieve some stress. Which might explain that $540 bill.

But hey, the National Inquirer did get the Edwards story spot on, so we will remain to see what spots this well paid massuse has in her possession.
Al Gore
June 23rd, 2010 @ 4:34 pm

My only comment is the hockey stick graph is going up, up, up!

Beyond that I have been advised to keep my mouth shut on this issue. Thank you.
Al Gore
June 23rd, 2010 @ 12:34 pm

My only comment is the hockey stick graph is going up, up, up!

Beyond that I have been advised to keep my mouth shut on this issue. Thank you.
Edmund Ruffin
June 23rd, 2010 @ 3:13 pm

Bob — There’s one you wish they hadn’t made in the first place.
Edmund Ruffin
June 23rd, 2010 @ 7:13 pm

Bob — There’s one you wish they hadn’t made in the first place.
Cold Fury » Your moms were right…
June 23rd, 2010 @ 7:24 pm

[…] …that little Billy Clinton is a bad influence on the other kids! var a2a_config = a2a_config || {}; a2a_config.linkname="Your moms were right…"; a2a_config.linkurl="http://coldfury.com/index.php/?p=25871"; Comments (0) Trackbacks (0) Leave a comment Trackback Comments appear entirely at the whim of the guy who pays the bills for this site, and may be deleted, edited, ridiculed, or otherwise pissed over as he in his capricious fancy sees fit. Thank you. […]
Noel
June 23rd, 2010 @ 11:25 pm

“Hug my tree.”
Noel
June 23rd, 2010 @ 7:25 pm

“Hug my tree.”
Dell
June 24th, 2010 @ 12:32 am

Gore family spokeswoman Kalee Kreider said the former vice president has no comment.

Uhhhhh, Al….that’s NOT the best possible answer, dude.
Dell
June 23rd, 2010 @ 8:32 pm

Gore family spokeswoman Kalee Kreider said the former vice president has no comment.

Uhhhhh, Al….that’s NOT the best possible answer, dude.
haiku guy
June 24th, 2010 @ 12:53 am

What’s done gone been seen,
No matter how hard you try,
Cannot be unseen.
haiku guy
June 23rd, 2010 @ 8:53 pm

What’s done gone been seen,
No matter how hard you try,
Cannot be unseen.
haiku guy
June 24th, 2010 @ 12:54 am

He’s just spreading his seed pods…
haiku guy
June 23rd, 2010 @ 8:54 pm

He’s just spreading his seed pods…
Holy Crap! Oregon Prosecutor Confirms National Enquirer Al Gore Story : The Other McCain
June 23rd, 2010 @ 10:20 pm

[…] Confirms National Enquirer Al Gore StoryPosted on | June 23, 2010 | No CommentsThis morning, I treated it as a joke, but it turns out to be a legit news story: The Multnomah County District Attorney’s Office […]
Rightwing Links (June 23, 2010)
June 23rd, 2010 @ 10:54 pm

[…] AL GORE SEX ATTACK! […]
VIDEO: Al Gore Sex Scandal : The Other McCain
June 24th, 2010 @ 4:41 am

[…] last year.PREVIOUSLY:Holy Crap! Oregon Prosecutor Confirms National Enquirer Al Gore Sex ScandalAL GORE SEX ATTACK! var addthis_append_data='false';var addthis_language='en';var addthis_options='twitter, digg, […]
This makes two stories in a row… « DaTechguy's Blog
June 24th, 2010 @ 7:35 am

[…] because of the source. Now the Al Gore Sex scandal is all over Memeorandum and Stacy McCain’s joke story is not a joke any […]
It’s Official: ManBearPig Is A Pig « The Camp Of The Saints
June 24th, 2010 @ 11:59 am

[…] McCain has been on the story since yesterday morning since he first got wind that the story would be appearing in the next issue of the National Enquirer […]
gary buell
June 24th, 2010 @ 4:07 pm

For $540 you can find a much more attractive woman who will do anything you want. Still, there is what I have come to call Buell’s Law: if a prominent political figure is accused of some sort of sexual misconduct: HE DID IT.
gary buell
June 24th, 2010 @ 12:07 pm

For $540 you can find a much more attractive woman who will do anything you want. Still, there is what I have come to call Buell’s Law: if a prominent political figure is accused of some sort of sexual misconduct: HE DID IT.