The Other McCain

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Nigerian Internet Scammers Now Impersonating FBI Director Mueller

Posted on | March 3, 2011 | 6 Comments

Went to my e-mail spam box today looking to see if an important message had gotten misdirected, as sometimes happens. Among the spams I had received (from [email protected]) was this e-mail:

FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE

Counter-terrorism Division and Cyber Crime Division
J. Edgar. Hoover Building Washington DC

Attention: Beneficiary,

Records show that you are among one of the individuals and organizations who are yet to receive their overdue payment from overseas which includes those of Lottery/Gambling, Contract and Inheritance. Through our Fraud Monitory Unit we have also noticed that over the past you have been transacting with some impostors and fraudsters who have been impersonating the likes of Prof. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, Frank, Anderson, none officials of Oceanic Bank, Zenith Banks,Thomas Robert of BBC national lottery, Kelvin Young of HSBC, Ben of FedEx, Ibrahim Sule, Dr. Usman Shamsuddeen and some impostors claiming to be The Federal Bureau of Investigation.

The Cyber Crime Division of the FBI gathered information from the Internet Crime Complaint Center (ICCC) formerly known as the Internet Fraud Complaint Center (IFCC) of how some people have lost outrageous sums of money to these impostors. As a result of this we hereby advise you to stop communication with any one not referred to you by us

We have negotiated with the Federal Ministry of Finance that your payment totaling $1.5M(One Million Five Thousand United States Dollars) be released to you via a custom pin based ATM card with a maximum withdrawal limit of $3,000 a day which is powered by Visa Card and can be used anywhere in the world were you see a Visa Card Logo on the Automatic Teller Machine (ATM). We have advised that this should be the only way at which you are to receive your payment because it’s more guaranteed, since over $5 billion was lost on fake check year 2008.

We guarantee 100% receipt of your payment, because we have perfected everything in regards to the release of your $850,000.00 United States Dollars to be 100% risk free and free from any hitches as it’s our duty to protect you. (This is as a result of the mandate from US Government to make sure all debts owed to people which includes Inheritance, Contract, Gambling/Lottery etc are been cleared for the betterment of the current economic status of the nation and its citizens as he has always believed “Our Time for Change has come” because “Change can happen

To redeem your fund you are hereby advised to contact the ATM Card Center via email for their requirement to proceed and procure your Approval of Payment Warrant and Endorsement of your ATM Release Order on your behalf which will cost you $495(Four hundred and ninty five dollars) only nothing more and no hidden fees as everything else has been taken cared of by the Federal Government including taxes, custom paper and clearance duty so all you will ever need to pay is $495 only.

Contact Information

NAME: James Philip
E-MAIL: [email protected]
PHONE: +234-708-495-6544

Do contact Mr. James Philips of the ATM Card Center via his contact details above and furnish him with your details as listed below and your ref no (NG35892BB),calling him on his hot line will be faster than to email him:

Your full Name:
Your Address:
Home/Cell Phone:
Occupation:
Age:
Ref No:

On contacting him with your details your files would be updated and he will be sending you the payment information in which you will use in making payment of $495.00 via Western Union Money Transfer for the procurement of your Approval of Payment Warrant and Endorsement of your ATM Release Order. After which the delivery of your ATM card will be effected to your designated home address without any further delay, extra fee or any authority raising eyebrow.

Upon receipt of payment the delivery officer will ensure that your package is sent within 24 working hours. Because we are so sure of everything we are giving you a 100% money back guarantee if you do not receive your ATM CARD Shipment Confirmation within the next 24hrs after you have made the payment for shipping.

Once again we are so sure of you receiving your payment at no any other cost as we have taking it upon our duty to monitor everything in other to cub cyber crime that is perpetrated by those impostors.

Thanks and hope to read from you soon.

ROBERT S. MUELLER,

DIRECTOR

FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535
TELEPHONE: (202) 324-3000
FAX: (202) 666-5283

Note: Disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming to be in possession of your ATM card, you are hereby advice only to be in contact with Mr. James Philips of the ATM card center who is the rightful person to deal with in regards to your payment and forward any emails you get from impostors to this office via the above fax number so we could act upon it immediately. Help stop cyber crime.

Just in case anybody at FBI headquarters sees this and decides to forward it to the boss, let me add my personal recommendation to Director Mueller: If you ever identify the guys responsible for this kind of spam scam, they need to be terminated with extreme prejudice.

Of course, this isn’t stuff that the U.S. federal government can make a matter of official public policy, but we also know that there are ways that things can just sorta happen, right? Your agency talks to the intelligence agencies, you create a task force to identify the scammers, you get a CIA undercover field agent to plant a GPS tracker on the dude and . . .

C’mon: It’s the Third World, an inherently dangerous place. If the spam-scammer’s operation is destroyed by a sudden and unexplained explosion, nobody’s going to suspect an American intel operation.

That Predator drone will just silently hum its way back to the deck of a ship cruising off the coast and the overwhelming odds are that nobody will ever know the difference.

On the other hand, if there were to be a “leak” — say, sometime in September 2012, nudge, nudge — that the noticeable decrease in e-mail spam was because President Obama had authorized counter-terrorism strikes against foreign scammers, I’m sure this necessary action would be overwhelmingly supported by a grateful American public.

Call it “Operation Landslide Re-Election.”

Just a friendly suggestion from a concerned citizen.

Category: Crime, Foreigners, humor, Terrorism

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