The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

How Early Is Too Early To Warn Your Son About Those Girls? The Third Trimester?

Posted on | May 2, 2011 | 10 Comments

by Smitty

National Offend A Feminist Week is the time that we celebrate all things good, lasting, and traditional, at the expense of the occasional harpy. This year’s celebration finds me especially exultant, as I have convinced my wife that my heritage is worth preserving in the human gene pool, in that most pre-historic, patriarchal and pre-Critical Theory sort of way: parenthood.
You can theorize, but you never know until faced with the reality of new life, just how daunting the challenges can be. For example, Nicholas Dietrich Smith (current working name for the lad, Lord willing he be born hale) could be faced with little girls toting guns instead of jump ropes:

can you believe this noise?

Because nothing says 'Trying to improve the situation' like giving a pump-action shotgun to a little girl.

How, then, to live peaceably in what some call a “Rape Culture“? Aside: I don’t know Clarisse Thorn personally. I will instead address “Straw Bimbo”, using Thorn’s post as an outline of the sort of decadent Feminist clap-trap which must be studiously avoided in the pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness. I re-emphasize: this post is ad Bimbo, not ad Thorn.
What is going through the mind of Straw Bimbo?

I know I can fight rape culture by….
* speaking up when I see it
* asserting myself vocally and confidently when I feel uncomfortable or violated
* watching what is happening around me even when I have no idea who or what I am seeing

Great! We should hear the Feminist denunciations of rap music in 3. . .2. . .1. . . oh, hip-hop is neither white, nor conservative. It will be important to communicate to my son that Feminism is a less than consistent theoretical approach. Also, Feminists like Straw Bimbo seem to do little research, finding themselves in places where the wise would probably avoid, wearing who knows what, surprised when marginal behavior breeds unintended consequence. Reality, I must tell the lad, rewards prudence.

* practicing enthusiastic consent with all my partners in an effort to spread the love, and always expecting more/better from humanity in general (this one has little hearts drawn around it!)
* demanding justice and accountability for survivors that doesn’t rely on the criminal justice system or prison industrial complex
* expressing my point of view when my friends make sexist remarks that perpetuate rape culture

I will tell the lad that, if the lady is not your wife, you have no business with her. Should he bring home Straw Bimbo as my new daughter-in-law, I will endeavor to offer her the clarity she lacked all her life. Hopefully, major investments in prudence and sobriety will help Little Nick avoid this peril beforehand.
Such a commitment to prudence will help him to be a positive influence on situations where sexual assaults occur. They do happen, and who would deny that? But the Matthew 5:9 approach of confronting the evil in the old school fashion, especially before problems cross the protein Rubicon, may be a better strategic approach than giving children shotguns. Also, he should flee from evil (2Tim2:22). Many problems are obviated by choosing carefully where and when to engage. Straw Bimbos seem a confrontational lot. That wearies a man, whether her darts are aimed at him or others.

* [Omitted]
* talking about my sexual experiences as openly and honestly as I can (this was mine, could you tell?)
* calling it out every time
* inviting my brothers to fight along my side

I will explain to my son that there is peace and relaxation in good, old-fashioned modesty. A bit of oblique innuendo is like salt: the merest sprinkling, to let others know you’re alive, isn’t a world-ender. The diet of some cannot handle that even that much. Take care of people, and seek to under-, rather than over-do it.
As Ancient Commenter Solomon put it:

As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.

Let us not kid ourselves: Straw Bimbo, and the bulk of Feminists, are without discretion. Modesty in a woman is like gold, (not that I’m endorsing burkas, mind) particularly where speech is concerned. When a woman’s presence is such that a man is ashamed to be vulgar, she has succeeded far above anything these benighted fool Feminists can hope to achieve.
Conversely, a Straw Bimbo who thinks that masculine-style potty mouth is somehow an attractive statement of liberation has self-identified as a useless waste of my son’s social time. Also, Straw Bimbo is a standing indictment of her father, who never explained to her the feminine ideal of Proverbs chapter 31.
If Straw Bimbo invites you to fight along her side, use that as navigation information to make haste in the opposite direction, my son.

* not sleeping with dudes who make rape jokes
* challenging my words and challenging the words of others
* educating people, creating events to support prevention and spread awareness, and being a kickass burlesque performer
* defending SHEER and our values when people confuse rape culture and objectification with sex-positivity

I don’t know why Straw Bimbos bother with the euphemism “sleeping with”. Treating sexuality as a video game has nothing to do with rapid eye movement (REM) sleep. The word is fornicating, or, in the married case, adultery.
Straw Bimbo can consider herself thoroughly challenged by this post. And ‘spreading awareness’? Spreading limbs and diseases, more likely, Straw Bimbo.
“Sexuality Health Education to End Rape”? Oh, what a cute acronym! The top of the Feministe post explains that this is a “new Chicago coalition”. I’m too afraid of finding out that tax dollars are supporting this foolishness to investigate. A “kickass burlesque performer”? Literally? An S&M sort of affair? Now, if the posted speed limit is 55, and the weather terrible, and you drive the limit anyway, and perform high-speed origami with your car on a tree, are you at least partially culpable? I don’t want to go blaming the victim in the slightest here, but if you’re hanging out in a burlesque show and something stupid is about to happen, ensure that your driving speed is commensurate with the weather.
In other words, separating sex-positivity from rape culture and objectification is theoretically tricky and existentially worth avoiding. Professional Feminists like a Straw Bimbo are going to be unafraid to tell you that they can. I will also admonish my son to leave dogs to their vomit. (Prov 26:11)

* speaking up and fighting back when aspects of rape culture are perpetuated in my presence
* deconstructing images and rhetoric that perpetuates rape culture and naming it where it occurs
* talking to old people and young people — rape culture is intergenerational!
* loving myself enough to tell you everything I want and don’t want.

My son will also discover that Straw Bimbo is a broken record. It’s worse than that, though. Straw Bimbo, incapable of self-reflection, actually succeeds in reinforcing that which she decries. This business of deconstructing images and rhetoric aborts the baby and drinks the bathwater, specifically because it is shares a sink with what it despises. My son will, I hope, never engage in Missionary Dating, hoping to employ the “irresistible masculine charm” he inherits from me upon a Straw Bimbo. Quit while you’re behind, kid (Prov 2:16-17).
That the sin of rape is intergenerational is certainly true, and the lad should endeavor to help minimize it. And communication is crucial, too. However, I hope the lad doesn’t grow to view relationships, sexual or otherwise, as pure self-gratification exercises. True generosity is about subordinating one’s own desires to those of others. We often end up better satisfying what we need by de-emphasizing what we want. Maturity can be like that.
So I hope that I can inform my son with enough wisdom to reject Straw Bimbo and her Feminist ilk. It could be that I will fail, and he will grow into some useless piece of beta-male wreckage. The kind of eunuch who would proclaim Progressivism on MSNBC, for example. Can’t prevent that. But I can try.


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