The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Occupy the Environment!

Posted on | May 7, 2012 | 11 Comments

Tired of being oppressed by endangered species? Do you curse the caribou in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge every time you pay $4 a gallon to fill up your SUV? Have you ever felt the urge to go hunting for spotted owl? Do you consider the Delta smelt an existential menace?

It’s us or them.

You don’t see anyone trying to protect mastodon habitat, do you? Nobody’s marching to save the dodo bird.

Here’s the point: Once a species is extinct, it’s no longer “endangered,” and then we can do whatever we want with their precious “habitat.”

Pave the f–king wetlands, I say!

Put a bounty on the spotted owl.

Delta smelt? Clearance sale: $2 a bucket at the bait shop.

And if any smelly caribou try to get between us and that oil in Alaska, buddy, I’ve got two words of advice: Open fire.

These sentiments may seem “extreme” to some people, but are inspired by the news that terrorist Bill Ayers is speaking at the GreenFestival.

Comments

11 Responses to “Occupy the Environment!”

  1. Bob Belvedere
    May 7th, 2012 @ 11:41 am

    WOLVERINES!

  2. Dicentra spectabilis
    May 7th, 2012 @ 12:02 pm

    This is what I want to know:

    If the habitat for the Precious Critter no longer exists, then Mother Nature doesn’t need the Precious Critter any more.

    Right?

  3. ThePaganTemple
    May 7th, 2012 @ 12:21 pm

    It won’t work. All they’ll do is clone the slaughtered animals. They’ve even been discussing the possibility of cloning the Wooly Mammoth, through a female elephant.

    At the same time, that’s also an argument in favor of drilling in endangered species areas. How can they all died out or be killed off if we have the technology to clone them?

  4. EBL
    May 7th, 2012 @ 12:41 pm

    Bill Ayers only directs his attacks against people.  And that is supposed to make him a good guy? 

  5. Adobe_Walls
    May 7th, 2012 @ 1:10 pm

    This is why I favor drilling for oil in the everglades it’s infested with three or four different invasive species of python not to mention several nasty species of lizard. An oil spill there might be just what the doctor ordered.

  6. No Wetlands Development!…No Peace! « The Camp Of The Saints
    May 7th, 2012 @ 1:53 pm

    […] A highlight from his simple plan: …Once a species is extinct, it’s no longer “endangered,” and then we can do whatever we want with their precious “habitat.” […]

  7. tomg
    May 7th, 2012 @ 2:41 pm
  8. Adjoran
    May 7th, 2012 @ 3:12 pm

     When the ESA was passed, people thought it would be used to protect cute and cuddly animals, or majestic predators like eagles, condors, and tigers.  NO ONE thought that rats and smelts would be enough reason to divert water from agriculture or shut down construction projects. 

    The fact is, as Dicentra touches upon above, that by the time a species is actually endangered or even “threatened,” it is on the way out.  We can postpone extinction at enormous cost for a period of time; we cannot stop it.

    ESA needs to be rewritten.  There is no reason to sacrifice our economy for marginal creatures like smelt and rat species which no longer play a significant role in the food chain.

  9. Bob Belvedere
    May 7th, 2012 @ 5:01 pm

    ESA needs to be repealed.

    Show me in The Constitution where protecting such creatures is an enumerated power.

  10. M. Thompson
    May 8th, 2012 @ 12:31 am

     EARTH FIRST!

    We can strip-mine the other planets later.

  11. Bob Belvedere
    May 8th, 2012 @ 8:36 am

    Can I strip-mine Robert Redford’s properties, can I, huh?!?