The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

The Onion: “Don’t Even Try To Pretend You Haven’t Imagined Me Being Elected President One Day.’

Posted on | August 13, 2012 | 17 Comments

by Smitty

Your NSFW potty mouth of the day, via AllahPundit on Twitter, is a faux Paul Ryan in the Onion:

Admit It, I Scare The Ever-Loving S**t Out Of You [Lefties], Don’t I?

This is one of the key aspects of Ryan: he’s young enough that, after 8 years of executive tutelage under Romney, he could potentially do where ManBearPig could not. Fleet up to CINC.

This is a crucial selling point. The GOP failed, in a major way, after Reagan, serving up an equestrian who was just another brick in our wall of Progressive Debt. Not to say that Bush41 was the worst, just that he failed utterly to advance the Reagan agenda.

And so we find ourselves out on Poo Pond, paddle-less. The two things we need are:

  1. vision, and
  2. time.

This is what’s so great about Ryan. So long as Ryan’s ticker doesn’t go south on him, he could be at the helm for significant reform.

Let that inform your efforts to support Romney/Ryan.

Update: linked by Fishersville Mike.


17 Responses to “The Onion: “Don’t Even Try To Pretend You Haven’t Imagined Me Being Elected President One Day.’”

  1. Bob Belvedere
    August 13th, 2012 @ 8:05 pm

    We’ll see…we’ll see.

    I do know someone who would be ready in 2016 or 2020 [and is even ready now.  Her name sounds like Mara Jailin.

  2. smitty
    August 13th, 2012 @ 8:14 pm

    I like the lady, too. But the window of opportunity, she is fleeting.

  3. Adjoran
    August 13th, 2012 @ 8:43 pm

     More like slammed shut for the foreseeable future.

    If Romney loses, Ryan will be in a similar position.  But they both need to learn the prime lesson of media interviews:  do it live on air, or don’t do it, because they will leave your best stuff on the cutting room floor and air anything they can twist to make you look bad.

    There’s a danger in rushing along our young talent too quickly.  Palin has been made into a toxin for independents.  She has a long way to go before she can become viable in a general election again.

  4. Ryan
    August 13th, 2012 @ 8:45 pm

    If, God help us, Romney loses this election, Ryan will potentially be running in 2016. It’s not inconceivable that Sarah would run in that year as well. If she wants a chance to run for president in a post-Romney presidency, I believe Sarah will have needed to run for another elected office (and won). I could certainly see her in Alaska’s at-large congressional district. Possibly Senate. Or she could run for governor again.

    Of course if she serves in an appointed position in the executive branch, Cabinet-level (I’m thinking Interior or Energy), that gives her more of a portfolio without needing to be serving in elected office.

  5. Adjoran
    August 13th, 2012 @ 8:53 pm

    Bush the Elder made two bad mistakes:  “Read my lips,” and then breaking the pledge on the basis of promised future spending cuts by the Democrats. 

    But this was before we had control of Congress – Wright and Foley weren’t as ready to deal as O’Neill had been, and they weren’t afraid of Bush’s public appeal as they were with the Gipper around.  We had even lost our Senate Majority with Bush’s election, so he lacked any real clout.

    There wasn’t any Republican who could have done a darned thing to “advance the Reagan agenda” with 101st & 102nd Congresses.

  6. William T Quick
    August 13th, 2012 @ 8:56 pm


    Eight years of Reagan, followed by four years of RINO Bush One, or, eight years of RINO Romneycare followed by (maybe) four years of Reagan Deuce?

    I’m gonna guess that RINO Bush One’s election chances after eight years of Ronaldus Maximus were considerably better than Ryan’s will be after eight years of Mittens.

    Actually, I don’t think Mittens has a hope in heck of being reelected, even if he manages to win this time around (which is no certain thing and, given who his opponent is, is mute testimony to just how awful the Mittster really is).

    Yes, I’ll be voting for him, but that’s only because I hate Obama, not because I have any regard at all for the progenitor of Obamacare and champion of assault weapons bans.

  7. Adobe_Walls
    August 13th, 2012 @ 9:11 pm

    Why do you want her to serve is one of the several departments that need to be abolished?

  8. Adobe_Walls
    August 13th, 2012 @ 9:12 pm

    Not that Bush wanted to further a conservative agenda.

  9. Adobe_Walls
    August 13th, 2012 @ 9:17 pm

    “Obama cannot win an American election. But he isn’t running
    in an American election. He’s running in a Post-American election.”

  10. smitty
    August 13th, 2012 @ 9:45 pm

    Ah, Buzz-kill Bill. 🙂

  11. Mahtomedi
    August 13th, 2012 @ 10:45 pm

    Romney will win because of Ryan.  You Baby Boomers (including David Axelrod) seem oblivious to ‘the elephant in the room’:  you are hated by the Gen Xers.  You fail to discern that fact.   They have longed for the day to vote for anybody from amongst themselves, but  until now have never been given that choice.   That day day has come, and Ryan is that guy.

  12. K-Bob
    August 14th, 2012 @ 3:12 am

    “a toxin for independents.”

    What, all five of them?

  13. K-Bob
    August 14th, 2012 @ 3:34 am

    Why can’t we have someone who is an originalist instead?

    Ryan was the best choice from a terrible list.  He is a good guy to have on the team, for sure, and I really like him in Congress. but why go all wobbly on 2020 so far in advance? Are we too tired or something?

    Let’s continue pushing the progressives out, and replace them with people who actually understand the Constitution.

  14. William T Quick
    August 14th, 2012 @ 10:39 am

     So…if the Marxist Dems nominate a Gen-Xer, you’ll all be flocking to vote for him?

  15. Thus Spake Russ » The Left has a new bogey-man.
    August 14th, 2012 @ 12:23 pm

    […] Allapundit, by way of Stacy McCain’s sidekick Smitty, an article from The Onion that has more than a mere ring of truth to […]

  16. Tennwriter
    August 14th, 2012 @ 4:19 pm

    Seeing as Liberal amoral totalitarianism is the face of Boomers, you really ought to understand why we Gen Xers dislike Boomers.

  17. William T Quick
    August 14th, 2012 @ 10:13 pm

    What, you think it’s somehow original to reject your parents?  We Boomers weren’t all that thrilled with ours, either.  Go read Generations, by Strauss and Howe.  And then keep in mind that Gen Y probably thinks you all are a pile of poo, too.