The Other McCain

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Thank You, Lena Dunham

Posted on | January 10, 2014 | 46 Comments

by Smitty

Via Drudge comes this outburst of brilliance, emphasis mine, in response to the question “I don’t get the purpose of all the nudity on the show. . .”:

In the moment, Dunham herself spoke clearly about her position on the nudity [in Girls], saying it is “a realistic expression of what it’s like to be alive. But I totally get it. If you’re not into me, that’s your problem and you’re going to have to work that out with professionals,” she retorted. And later, fellow EP Jenni Konner interrupted her response to another question to add, “I literally was spacing out because I’m in such a rage spiral about that guy,” she said pointing to the question-asker. “I was just looking at him looking at him and going into this rage [over] this idea that you would talk to a woman like that and accuse a woman of showing her body too much. The idea it just makes me sort of sick.”

Maybe I’m too dead to figure out if I’ve got HBO amidst the 14k channels of dreck on the TV to choose from*. Were I to have an outburst of un-death, perhaps Lena could instruct me on this ‘life’ thingy, could I but find it in the cable bundle.  ‘Life’ appears to involve having more ink than a copy of the New York Times, or something**.  The wife and I found A&E for a couple of pleasant Duck Dynasty episodes the other weekend.  Relaxing.

But now, who are these ‘professionals’, and what’s all that powdered sugar around their noses? They must love them some Dunkin’ Donuts. Would my wife approve of the workout? I’ll venture a ‘no’ on that.

Lena, Lena, Lena: your show is pure vanity, in the truest Ecclesiastes sense of the word. While falling short of waxing moralistic, can we just get to some honesty about your cheap show? It’s a cheap show, cheaply exposing  cheap flesh for a cheap audience. You’ve got more “cheap” than an aviary. Be honest about that. Just admit “Yeah, I’m getting my nudist on for the eyeballs.” I’m not saying it makes you any more or less evil than anyone else. I’m saying that your insistence that flashing boobies is some kind of “expression of what it’s like to be alive” is a risible pile of bollocks.

I suppose you could probably do a meta-comedy about a semi-nudist bimbo actress who pretentiously refers to her dirty diaper of a show as some kind of highbrow art. That kind of elevated slop (done correctly) is what makes this French & Saunders musical sketch so funny:

Maybe the bimbo in your hypothetical show goes to an acting school, develops some no-kidding skill, keeps her clothes on, and carries a show on merit, as opposed to skin. An absolutely freakish thought, I know. Probably easier to stick to the more childish stuff.

*To paraphrase Roger Waters.
**Confession: I do have a tattoo. Left scapula. Youthful indiscretion.


46 Responses to “Thank You, Lena Dunham”

  1. MNHawk
    January 10th, 2014 @ 11:15 am

    I always get the purpose of nudity on shows. 🙂

    What I don’t get is the purpose of nudity of UGLY PEOPLE on shows like Girls.

  2. CrustyB
    January 10th, 2014 @ 11:52 am

    If you’re nude because the plot calls for it, you’re an artist.

    If you’re nude because it spikes cable TV show ratings, you’re a whore.

  3. RS
    January 10th, 2014 @ 11:54 am

    If you’re not into me, that’s your problem and you’re going to have to work that out with professional.

    Thus, does the exhibitionist engage in textbook projection claiming other’s need psychological help. As for nudity being “an expression of what it’s like to be alive,” it says something that this person believes that the entire Human Condition can be distilled to its essence by dropping one’s drawers on national television.

  4. scarymatt
    January 10th, 2014 @ 12:16 pm

    So today we’re in trouble because we aren’t objectifying women enough? Asking for a friend…

  5. Jerry Beckett
    January 10th, 2014 @ 12:31 pm

    I agree with Drew Carey: “If you don’t have a nice body, cover it the fuck up.”


  6. Quartermaster
    January 10th, 2014 @ 12:53 pm

    That is soooo judgmental. I denounce you.

  7. DaveO
    January 10th, 2014 @ 1:06 pm

    A rage-spiral over a question on the definition of what is excess nudity and to what purpose it serves on the show?
    That’s a woman who desparately needs professional help. HBO’s executives also have to weigh the same questions, lest they be sued for broadcasting pornography. Doubt she gets miffed when they ask.

  8. Alan Markus
    January 10th, 2014 @ 1:41 pm

    Where are the damn pictures of this alleged nudity? In my cable package, HBO is additional premium, don’t subscribe. So, I looked up on YouTube – if this is an example of that show, I am not missing anything. I challenge anyone to watch this entire 2:36 clip. Girl (Lena?) in the bathtub singing a crappy song, her friend gets in the tub, and for a tedious 45 seconds (an eternity), it is just some whimpering, no dialogue. Finally some action when the girl honks her nose and then there is dialogue about snot and pee in bath water.

    Girls Season 2 Episode 4 Hanna & Jessa

    I guess this is for the “young, cool & hip”, low info demographic?

  9. Kevin O'Kelley
    January 10th, 2014 @ 1:45 pm

    I agree. The purpose of nudity on shows like that is to provide an audience. If _Girls_ didn’t have that, the boring show wouldn’t be on TV — anywhere — including local access TV.

    I don’t have HBO, but a quick google search confirms that I think that Lena Dunham should keep her clothes on because she isn’t even remotely attractive. Most Hollywood stars, when they become famous, instantly get (1) more fit, (2) whiter, straighter teeth, (3) nicer clothing, and (4) more attractive. She’s ugly — inside and out.

    Lena,Dear, hit the gym, get a style consultant, and talk to a good plastic surgeon. Until then, keep your clothes on. You are coyote ugly.

    You too, Miley Cyrus. No body cares.

  10. RS
    January 10th, 2014 @ 2:31 pm

    Nudity long ago lost whatever artistic/shock value it may have had. Even then, I find it difficult to come up with one example of classic television or film from the dark, dark repressive olden days which would have been better with a little (or a lot of) skin. When writing and plot is insufficient to hold the audience’s attention, nudity is the shortcut to maintaining interest.

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  12. Julie Pascal
    January 10th, 2014 @ 3:15 pm

    The point of her nudity (or so I’ve been led to believe) is that she’s not at all pretty. Not that I have any real curiosity about the show, but on *that* point I have some sympathy. The bodies we women have to compare ourselves to are the most beautiful ones in the whole world because that’s the bodies we see. I don’t have any desire to hang out at nude beaches either, but I’ve always thought that the dose of physical reality (real people with fugly bodies) is a public service.

    Even so, it’s certainly the case that many people watch the show (just like other HBO shows with nudity) because she takes off her clothes, even if it’s all about pathetic, unlikable, and not terribly attractive girls.

  13. Quartermaster
    January 10th, 2014 @ 3:51 pm

    I’m a normal red blooded Murican boy and I love feminine pulchritude quite a bit. Frankly, OTOH, I don’t care for the bodies of women other than my wife of 39 years and I still lurves me her scenery and it’s the only scenery I really want to see.
    The girl that takes my love and returns is the hottest woman in the world to me, and I’ve lived with that for 39 years.

  14. Quartermaster
    January 10th, 2014 @ 3:53 pm

    It seems you have the idea of what they seem to be saying. Another problem, I think, is they don’t think enough of us boys is drooling over their scenery.

  15. laura_PH
    January 10th, 2014 @ 3:58 pm

    I’m still processing that she used the term “rage-spiral.” That’s hilarious.

  16. K-Bob
    January 10th, 2014 @ 4:07 pm

    I guess I’m still glad I have no idea who she is.

  17. scarymatt
    January 10th, 2014 @ 4:09 pm

    I think ultimately you’re right. But if you asked them to explain, they’d probably give a rant about how our heteropatriarchy and its rape culture hate the female body, and their art is meant to challenge our terrible ways and raise awareness.

    Notice, however, that when a member in good standing of the heteropatriarchy mentions that he values certain parts of the female anatomy over other parts of the female or male anatomy, the same suspects will use his preference as evidence of his terrible hatred and backwards ways.

  18. jakee308
    January 10th, 2014 @ 4:13 pm

    So the show “Girls” is porno?

  19. K-Bob
    January 10th, 2014 @ 4:25 pm

    I think I’ll wait for the braille edition.

  20. AwD
    January 10th, 2014 @ 5:16 pm

    I’m loving the “rage spiral” description. It so accurately captures the attitude of most feminists! A wonderful modern term for a certain class of behavior once referred to as “hysterics.” 🙂

  21. Some Rabbit
    January 10th, 2014 @ 5:31 pm

    Seriously, she looks like a pink manatee.

  22. RKae
    January 10th, 2014 @ 5:50 pm

    That sounds reasonable… until I think about it. The vast majority of people can’t carry a tune. I do not want to hear them sing – even if it would be a “dose of reality.”

  23. Steve Skubinna
    January 10th, 2014 @ 7:07 pm

    Typical progressive narcissism, but seldom if ever so succinctly expressed.

    “My issues and concerns are universal and anyone who doesn’t love me is a hater!”

  24. Steve Skubinna
    January 10th, 2014 @ 7:09 pm

    And then they’re likely to dress up as a giant vagina in order to prove they’re more than their lady parts.

  25. Steve Skubinna
    January 10th, 2014 @ 7:11 pm

    She’s in a “rage spiral” because somebody questioned her orthodoxy. Somebody ought to introduce these girls to some Islamists.

  26. Steve Skubinna
    January 10th, 2014 @ 7:12 pm

    I believe I am understanding why this show is called “Girls” and not “Women.”

  27. K-Bob
    January 10th, 2014 @ 7:37 pm

    Homer (crying): “I Can’t live without rageahol.”

  28. rmnixondeceased
    January 10th, 2014 @ 7:41 pm

    Hear, hear!

  29. smitty
    January 10th, 2014 @ 9:04 pm

    Probably “flaccid”-core. I just barely managed to watch a little Duck Dynasty.

  30. richard mcenroe
    January 10th, 2014 @ 9:57 pm

    if you blog nude, is that cheap or vain? Asking for a friend.

  31. DaveO
    January 10th, 2014 @ 10:13 pm

    Depends. Is the camera on the monitor taped over in case a troll hacks your computer?

  32. Charles G. Hill
    January 10th, 2014 @ 10:48 pm

    No, and no, in that order.

  33. Adjoran
    January 11th, 2014 @ 12:01 am

    Crap, all this time I thought they were dressing up as pink manatees. I kept thinking “WTF is this about?”

  34. Steve Skubinna
    January 11th, 2014 @ 12:10 am

    And you probably wondered why they wanted to “shave the manatees?”

  35. Adjoran
    January 11th, 2014 @ 12:14 am

    I think it is a stage in a “hate-spiral” –

  36. Adjoran
    January 11th, 2014 @ 12:20 am

    You would like they’d just be happy somebody showed up at their “event.”

  37. Adjoran
    January 11th, 2014 @ 12:21 am

    That kinda outs you as islamophobic, though, doesn’t it?

  38. Adjoran
    January 11th, 2014 @ 12:26 am

    I never subscribed to HBO. Never saw the value in it. Most of the movies aren’t just out of the theaters, and never were. They have limited programming and just repeat it over and over at different times and days. Before DVRs, they used to pretend that was a feature.

    A couple of times a year, DirectTV offers a “free HBO/Cinemax” or “Showtime/Starz/TMC” weekend as a promotion, hoping to attract subscribers. I check the programming and usually find 2-4 movies I haven’t seen and want to see – per year. If anything it reaffirms my decision not to subscribe.

    If Lena Dunham is their idea of “smart, original programming,” I haven’t missed much.

  39. Steve Skubinna
    January 11th, 2014 @ 2:02 am

    No, not me! Religion of peace! Ulululululu!

    Aloha snackbar!

  40. Steve Skubinna
    January 11th, 2014 @ 2:03 am

    The NSA called. They say Pajama Boy wants his plaid onsie back.

  41. Matt_SE
    January 11th, 2014 @ 2:35 am

    Never seen the show, but I’ve seen Lena Dunham with and without clothes. I’ve read her vaguely pseudo-feminist claptrap about why she likes to get nekkid so much.

    Easiest explanation: she’s got issues with her body image deep down, but is compensating by showing off her nekkidness and then demanding that everyone tell her she’s a BBW.

    Very sad, and co-dependent.

  42. Quartermaster
    January 11th, 2014 @ 10:36 am

    I do love my wife’s scenery quite a lot. I left the drooling behind in my early 20s in my first year of marriage.

  43. Federale
    January 11th, 2014 @ 11:33 pm

    I can’t imagine anyone who wants to see the tubby Dunham naked. Basically the story she writes is what her life would be like if she were half attractive. In reality she is at home with the ice cream. And certainly not getting laid by attractive guys.

  44. Federale
    January 11th, 2014 @ 11:34 pm

    The biggest projector in the world.

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