Less-Than-Surprising Praise

Posted on | December 2, 2014 | 74 Comments

To say @AlisonWillmore enjoyed the new Reese Witherspoon movie is like saying a 13-year-old boy enjoys masturbation.

Reese Witherspoon Plays The Year’s Most
Satisfying Female Character In “Wild”

The headline was sufficiently orgasmic I actually tried to read Ms. Willmore’s gooey wetness of a review and gathered that Wild is one of those dull movies my girlfriends would talk me into going to see thirty years ago, like Out of Africa. Meryl Streep has spent her entire career starring in movies that no heterosexual man would choose to watch. Any man who has ever seen a Meryl Streep movie was either gay, or else he watched it to make his girlfriend happy. It’s really sad to think Reese Witherspoon is heading that direction.

So I read though Alison Willmore’s long, slow arousal of a review, which reaches its cathartic spasm in the penultimate paragraph:

Wild slips in and out of Cheryl’s past and present, but its point of view is always firmly female, showing what it’s like to be a woman by yourself on the road. A stranger encountered on the way is probably a friendly face, but always merits wariness too, sometimes justified. Cheryl tends to get some extra help as one of the few women on the trail, but also has to put up with unwanted overtures. A scene in which she encounters a flirty ranger speaks volumes without shouting, and when she at one point says she’s a feminist, it’s a welcome declaration, but one that’s already been made clear in word and action long before.

Empowerment! Equality! A tedious waste of an hour and 45 minutes!

Category: Feminism, Movies

Comments

74 Responses to “Less-Than-Surprising Praise”

K-Bob
December 3rd, 2014 @ 10:46 am

My attempt at humor at Ace’s was regarding the stupid, 3-D “portrait” of the yellow prince. I wrote:

“Looks like the Plaster Casters talked Obama into just sticking the head in”

Or something like that. My decayed brane cellz from the sixties thought it was funnay.
K-Bob
December 3rd, 2014 @ 10:49 am

Looks like another series I never knew existed. That happens to me a lot. For example, I’ve never seen an episode of “Friends.” (I wasn’t aware the show existed until the internet memes built up to a point where you couldn’t not know.)
K-Bob
December 3rd, 2014 @ 10:52 am

Sooo many ways to interpret that!
K-Bob
December 3rd, 2014 @ 10:57 am

Same here. If I can’t hit pause about ten times in a movie, or occasionally go back and see something I missed, I don’t even wanna watch it.

I like to freshen my drink, and also make room for more drinks. Also go wash a few dishes and make snack plates. And then dessert. And more drinks.
RS
December 3rd, 2014 @ 11:06 am

The object of being in the wilderness is to not be uncomfortable. The object is to be as comfortable as possible under the circumstances. It’s not about masochism. It’s about taming the wild. Bourbon, Gruyere and a decent baguette demonstrate that in spades.

And dare I say, 99% of the self-described “environmentalists” have never actually spent time out in the environment relying upon their own wits and resources to get back to the eff-ing car. They’re too busy bitching about the foie gras to actually go outside.
Peregrine John
December 3rd, 2014 @ 11:50 am

Skip Friends and go straight to Coupling, which is more or less what Friends wished it could have been.
Bob Belvedere
December 3rd, 2014 @ 11:57 am

Exactly.

Coupling is bloody hilarious [skip the fourth season, however – that’s when Jeff left].
Evi L. Bloggerlady
December 3rd, 2014 @ 12:25 pm

How did you know?
Evi L. Bloggerlady
December 3rd, 2014 @ 12:28 pm

I like when Hollyweird occasionally parodies itself: Tropic Thunder and Bowfinger come to mind. And of course, Sunset Boulevard is the grand dame of them all (although that is almost a docu-drama).
Evi L. Bloggerlady
December 3rd, 2014 @ 12:30 pm

Mao!
Daniel Freeman
December 3rd, 2014 @ 1:06 pm

Haven’t seen them. I saw The Player, but I think it was a bit too “on the nose” to even be a parody.
Adobe_Walls
December 3rd, 2014 @ 1:56 pm

So it’s pretty much about the drinks.
Adobe_Walls
December 3rd, 2014 @ 2:04 pm

Ben Hur and the those two Godfather movies were great. I’ve watched them many times. Ben Hur is an Easter tradition for me and my wife. After watching the Deer Hunter asked WTF was that about.
Evi L. Bloggerlady
December 3rd, 2014 @ 2:25 pm

Yeah, The Player too!
RS
December 3rd, 2014 @ 4:03 pm

And the inspiration for some college years diversions, specifically, “The Beer Hunter,” which involved one shaken can of a six pack with people standing around yelling “Mao, Mao” while they waited for someone to find the beer that exploded.

The University of Missouri: Motto In Beero Veritas.
theoldsargesays
December 3rd, 2014 @ 7:12 pm

No refrigerator in the Winnebago?
K-Bob
December 3rd, 2014 @ 7:16 pm

hah! Yeah, I guess so. Like bread is just a vehicle to ferry butter to your mouth.
Bob Belvedere
December 3rd, 2014 @ 9:30 pm

Well, if it helps any, you put a smile on my face as I recalled one of the main reasons I became a musician.
Adobe_Walls
December 3rd, 2014 @ 10:21 pm

Couldn’t get a Winnebago to the places we went. Just because we didn’t walk to remote places doesn’t mean we didn’t go camping in remote places.
theoldsargesays
December 3rd, 2014 @ 10:56 pm

I hear you.
A buddy and I went camping in Nantahala National Forest a couple of years ago.
Found some old logging roads using google Earth and were able to get out there pretty good.
Good thing because we brought enough “gear” to fill the bed of my truck.
Needless to say we lived rather comfortably for being in a rather remote area.
K-Bob
December 4th, 2014 @ 12:52 am

Indeed. You meet some of the nicest people

…who get up to some of the craziest sh*t.
dustbury.com » Unevenly matched
December 5th, 2014 @ 9:01 am

[…] noting in a post that Reese Witherspoon is threatening to become the next Meryl Streep, Robert Stacy McCain explains the apparently unfortunate dynamic at […]
Esau's Message
December 5th, 2014 @ 12:41 pm

I went to see Out of Africa when it was first released. I could not tolerate anything beyond the first half hour. I walked out. I’ve only done that with one other movie.
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December 6th, 2014 @ 9:22 pm

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