The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Is Amber Heard ‘Duplicitous, Untrustworthy, and Indecisive’?

Posted on | June 3, 2016 | 28 Comments


Last week, we reported on the acrimonious split between Johnny Depp and his wife, Amber Heard. “Johnny Depp got used, manipulated, set up and made to look like an a–hole,” Depp’s friend Doug Stanhope said. Without regard for whether Heard’s abuse claims are true, it’s obvious that Depp was a fool to marry a bisexual woman half his age who had previously spent four years in a lesbian relationship. When she demanded Depp pay her $50,000 a month in spousal support? Yeah, she’s all about the Benjamins, baby, and she saw Johnny as her personal ATM.

Johnny Depp’s assistant says Heard fabricated text messages that appeared to support her abuse claims, and frankly I don’t believe a word she says, because’s she’s bisexual. “Never trust a bisexual” is probably a good rule because, really, how could you trust someone who lacks the strength of character to decide if they’re straight or gay? It’s like college football, and you can’t decide whether you’re an Alabama fan or an Auburn fan, Michigan or Ohio State, USC or UCLA. Pick a team, OK?

Someone can’t even limit their sexual attraction to 50% of the human race? C’mon, that’s 3.5 billion potential partners to choose from, but no, they’re bisexual, and have to keep the full 7 billion within reach.

Of course, bisexual feminist Carolyn Cox is offended by such criticism:

What’s been surprising to me is the incredible amount of biphobia demonstrated by the media’s coverage of this case. Given that it’s 2016, I hoped we wouldn’t see outlets framing Heard as inherently duplicitous simply because she’s bisexual, but I guess that was way optimistic of me. . . .
The biphobia demonstrated in multiple publications over the past few days is inexcusable, regardless of what transpired in this specific marriage. . . . That, for me, cuts to one of the most frustrating aspects of bisexuality: as a bi woman, I feel I’m always seen as actually gay, or a liar, or both. When I’m with a man, I’m perceived as having chosen men, and when I’m with a woman, I’ve switched teams. I wish more publications, in discussing Heard, would remember that bisexuality doesn’t inherently connote promiscuity, and that it’s possible to be bisexual and be in a happily monogamous relationship. . . .
Bisexuals are often perceived as duplicitous, untrustworthy, and indecisive . . .

Everybody knows bisexual women are opportunistic, selfish and emotionally unstable, which is why lesbians don’t trust them. What Amber Heard did to Johnny Depp shows why guys shouldn’t trust them, either, and if it’s “biphobia” to tell the truth, so be it. Somebody’s got to warn guys against getting mixed up with dishonest promiscuous bisexuals, or else they’ll all end up paying $50,000 a month to Amber Heard.



28 Responses to “Is Amber Heard ‘Duplicitous, Untrustworthy, and Indecisive’?”

  1. Durasim
    June 3rd, 2016 @ 3:15 pm

    It was the GLAAD, GLSEN, Rainbow cadre that was quick to claim Heard as one of their own and issue a label. The press release headlines said she declared herself as “gay” or a “lesbian.” But if you read her statements, she would say things “It’s been frustrating as I don’t label myself one way or another – I have had successful relationships with men and now a woman. I love who I love, it’s the person that matters.”

    So despite Heard saying that she “had successful relationships with men” and could do so again in the future, the press releases still declared her as a lesbian. I guess they thought some generic young actress professing her generic bisexuality or sexual non-exclusivity just wasn’t compelling enough.

    Professed female bisexuality does seem to be trending, even among non-pornographic actresses now.

  2. M. Thompson
    June 3rd, 2016 @ 3:23 pm

    Hmm. What are the costs of her to lie?

    Nil. And she stands to obtain a great deal. No wonder…

  3. robertstacymccain
    June 3rd, 2016 @ 3:31 pm

    The word you’re looking for is trendy.

    When I was in college, a buddy of mind named Benny was a real rodeo cowboy, but after the movie Urban Cowboy came out, and everybody started wearing cowboy hats, Benny put away his Stetson and said, “I ain’t going to be mixed up with any of these wannabes.”

    The whole “I Kissed a Girl” thing Katy Perry started a few years ago was like the “Lesbian Chic” trend circa 1993. These trends happen for a reason — it’s about “mainstreaming” abnormal behavior — and foolish young people who get swept up in such fads usually don’t think very clearly about what they’re doing and why. So after a few years, some of them will come stumbling back with stories to tell of their “Walk on the Wild Side,” and others … Well, let’s hope Amber Heard is stocking up on cat food.

  4. DeadMessenger
    June 3rd, 2016 @ 3:43 pm

    It appears as if Amber Heard is what you get when you cross 100% morality-free attention whoredom with greed. You’d have thought that at his age and level of worldliness, Johnny would’ve been a bit more suspicious from the get-go.

  5. GruntOfMonteCristo
    June 3rd, 2016 @ 3:50 pm

    You’d a thought. But Johnny already had his common sense surgically removed so that he could play with the Hollywood crowd who don’t believe in questioning the gender-questioning. Now that he’s relieved of his cash and his ‘wife’ is free to legally marry her former ‘wife’, and they get to spend it all on the dog and lots and lots of future cats, perhaps he’ll get a clue.

  6. Fail Burton
    June 3rd, 2016 @ 3:52 pm

    Does her agent get 10% cuz of her talent?

  7. NeoWayland
    June 3rd, 2016 @ 3:55 pm


    Those Who Want to Be Noticed. It’s not just that they believe, they need the perception of others to validate their belief. A version of the True Believer™.

  8. NeoWayland
    June 3rd, 2016 @ 4:00 pm

    I still don’t think it’s all bisexuals though, or even all bisexual women.

    I think for some people, bisexuality is not a choice, it’s what they are. That being said, I think most of the people calling themselves bisexual are doing it because it’s trendy just as you said.

  9. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    June 3rd, 2016 @ 4:27 pm

    Amber is certainly indecisive in picking genders to have sex with. Which ever the wind blows baby!

  10. Harry D Dullard
    June 3rd, 2016 @ 4:28 pm

    When I hear “bi”, I think “greedy”.

  11. robertstacymccain
    June 3rd, 2016 @ 4:58 pm

    Honestly, “bisexual” can mean almost anything. Nowadays you see young women (including teenage girls in high school) “coming out” as bisexual when they are not even sexually active or in any kind of relationship. So, what does this mean? Many times, I think, it means: “I don’t have a serious boyfriend and maybe if I call myself ‘bisexual’ people won’t consider me such a loser.”

    So that’s what we could call The Lonely Fat Girl type of “bisexual.” Then you have another type, who has gone through a half-dozen boyfriends before she’s 20 and generally been mistreated. Somewhere along the way she’s maybe done some threesomes or gotten drunk and fooled around with friend and so, “bisexual.” For her, relationships with women are an escape from the kind of abuse she suffers from guys (she tends to go for the Bad Boy type) and she figures if a really interesting man comes along, she can always dump her girlfriend and go with him. This is the Slutty Bisexual type.

    There is almost zero overlap between these two types of bisexual women. Two Slutty Bisexuals may hookup, or two Lonely Fat Girls may form a relationship, but you practically never see the Fat Girl bisexual with the Slutty Bisexual. What you do see is both types hooking up with regular lesbians, especially during their college years, because lesbian relationships are the cheapest form of birth control, and so they don’t have to worry about getting pregnant before they graduate. The Lonely Fat Girl type of bisexual is, for obvious reasons, more likely to continue in lesbian relationships after college, whereas the Slutty Bisexual more often than not ping-pongs back and forth — a girlfriend for a couple of years, then dating guys, back to another girlfriend for a while — until she is in the 28-32 range, at which point she’s looking for the suitable Bill-Paying Sperm-Donor candidate she can lead to the altar, marry him, have a couple of kids, then divorce after about 10 years.

    All in all, bisexual women are a bad choice. The more they’re in relationships with women, the less they are able to cope with typical male social behavior, or to enjoy sex with men.

  12. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    June 3rd, 2016 @ 5:08 pm
  13. Durasim
    June 3rd, 2016 @ 5:26 pm

    Susan Sontag fooled around with males and females. After a certain age, her affiliations were mostly with other females. She explained that this was because once she reached a certain age, she no longer received solicitations from men she considered young and attractive enough for her standards:

    Shall I tell you about getting older, she says, and she is laughing. “When you get older, 45 plus, men stop fancying you. Or put it another way, the men I fancy don’t fancy me. I want a young man. I love beauty. So what’s new?” She says she has been in love seven times in her life, which seems quite a lot. “No, hang on,” she says. “Actually, it’s nine. Five women, four men.”

    She will talk about her bisexuality quite openly now. It’s simple, she says. “As I’ve become less attractive to men, so I’ve found myself more with women. It’s what happens. Ask any woman my age. More women come on to you than men.

  14. Steve White
    June 3rd, 2016 @ 6:27 pm

    Johnny sure looks happy in those photos, doesn’t he.

  15. Steve Skubinna
    June 3rd, 2016 @ 9:31 pm

    Ooh! Ooh! I know this!

    Obama, right?

    What do I win?

  16. Steve Skubinna
    June 3rd, 2016 @ 9:32 pm

    If only there were some place, online maybe, where one could find reliable trophy wives…

    Donald Trump, are you reading? There’s your next business launch!

  17. Harry D Dullard
    June 3rd, 2016 @ 10:23 pm

    Sound like Slutty Bisexual is basically a LUG (Lesbian Until Graduation).

  18. Daniel Freeman
    June 3rd, 2016 @ 10:35 pm

    Twice as many chances to be rejected on a Saturday night… I think it was a Bobcat Goldthwaite joke.

  19. CrustyB
    June 3rd, 2016 @ 10:36 pm

    On the way home tonight I saw a gaggle of…individuals…who were all wearing shirts that said “Lezbi What” on them. You never saw a more genderless bunch of fatties & freaks. They don’t all look like Amber Heard, folks.

  20. Daniel Freeman
    June 3rd, 2016 @ 10:40 pm

    Rough rule of thumb: real bisexuals do, theoretical ones talk about it.

  21. NeoWayland
    June 3rd, 2016 @ 10:58 pm

    *grins* And for more than just bisexuals…

    Reminds me of the old saying, “Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach.”

    Stars above, that would explain so much. Especially the need to meddle.

  22. Joseph Shmeau
    June 4th, 2016 @ 2:08 am

    I first heard it told by Woody Allen as twice as likely to have a date Saturday night. That would have been around 1974 or thereabouts.

  23. robertstacymccain
    June 4th, 2016 @ 6:59 am

    Yeah, you know, a guy in his 50s thinks: “Look at that sexy young thing. Man, I’d like to …”

    There is a reason it’s called a “fantasy,” folks.

    Stipulate, hypothetically, that you’re the kind of ruggedly handsome middle-aged guy the sexy young thing might actually find attractive. You still have to confront two major problems:

    1. She’s psychologically abnormal. Let’s face it, the 28-year-old who is “into” 50-year-old guys almost certainly has underlying issues. Something is definitely off about her, or else she would have found some nice age-appropriate partner long before she met you, Danger! Danger!

    2. The math is working against you. Even if there is an initial spark of attraction, and even if you are willing to ignore the Freudian weirdness of hooking up with a woman young enough to be your daughter, how long can it last? At 50, you’re on the downhill slide to old age. Maybe you are a health freak, running three miles a day and hitting the gym regularly, but this kind of maintenance takes effort, and how much longer can you keep it up? You’re 50, she’s 28, and then you’re 55 and she’s 33, then you’re 60 and she’s 38 . . . What are the legitimate probabilities of making this last?

    No, you don’t want to go there. You think you want to go there, but trust me, you don’t.

  24. robertstacymccain
    June 4th, 2016 @ 7:02 am

    This is why lifelong monogamous pair bonding is ideal. Your goal is to find exactly ONE person, and then live your lives together, permanently.

  25. Steve Skubinna
    June 4th, 2016 @ 9:08 am

    … and those who can’t teach, teach gym.

  26. Steve Skubinna
    June 4th, 2016 @ 9:10 am

    Of wait for the grim post apocalyptic wasteland that is our inevitable future and set up as a warlord. You’ll get the pick of young nubiles then.

    In my case, it better happen soon…

  27. FMJRA 2.0: D-Day : The Other McCain
    June 4th, 2016 @ 8:14 pm

    […] Is Amber Heard ‘Duplicitous, Untrustworthy, and Indecisive’? Batshit Crazy News […]

  28. Durasim
    June 7th, 2016 @ 9:36 am

    Oh, this is just precious. Turns out Amber Heard actually has the previous arrest for domestic violence. Turns out she and her former butch partner had a scuffle.