The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

She’s Fat, Blame Patriarchy

Posted on | January 22, 2017 | 2 Comments

Emily Ward is a chubby 23-year-old Democrat feminist who hates men, Republicans and heterosexuality, not necessarily in that order. She is the kind of girl who thinks it is a profound achievement to “come to this understanding” that she’s bisexual her senior year at Michigan State. Except this is “bisexual” as a synonym for fat, lonely and desperate, not the stylishly decadent doing-coke-with-models-during-Fashion-Week kind of bisexual. While I am strongly opposed to sexual immorality, if you’re going to be a degenerate, you don’t want to do it with obese state university girls. No — get yourself to Miami or Hollywood or the French Riviera and indulge your sinful lust with glamorous deviants, or else don’t bother. Fat chicks from MSU are not worth going to Hell for.

Being “bisexual” gives Emily Ward an excuse to celebrate Gay Pride, but in practice this just means doubling her chances of being rejected. Men don’t like her, but women don’t like her much (not that way) so it’s not even improving her chances of going to Hell, either. Anyway, she hates Republicans, which gives her life some sense of purpose, and so Emily Ward and her friends protested Saturday in Chicago:


That’s Emily on the left, wearing a BuzzFeed “Failing Pile of Garbage” shirt and holding a sign with the slogan “Men’s Rights Is Nothing,” a line spoken by Amy Poehler’s character Leslie Knope in a February 2015 episode of the NBC series Parks and Rec. That line was considered a clever retort at a time when we were just a few months into the #GamerGate controversy and mere weeks after the Rolling Stone UVA rape hoax fell apart. In other words, feminists mocking their critics was a Hollywood laugh line in February 2015, but the joke had worn thin by the time the election rolled around in November 2016.

And that’s a capsule summary of what went wrong for Democrats, really. Sometime in late 2014, liberals decided that playing the “feminist” card was the best way to guarantee Hillary Clinton’s election in 2016. This meant that we spent two years being constantly bombarded with feminist messages — from TV sitcoms to cable-news documentaries to an endless outpouring of blog lectures from Amanda Marcotte, et al. Whatever the average American’s attitude toward feminism in early 2015, by November 2016 we’d heard the same messages repeated to the point of becoming a cliché: Everything a man might possibly say or do was wrong, because heteropatriarchy, “rape culture,” blah blah blah.

All this inchoate anti-male rage, of course, was ginned up out of nothing for strictly partisan purposes, to help elect Hillary Clinton.

Look, it’s like fat jokes, OK? If I occasionally make a fat joke, nobody cares. However, if I were to start throwing two or three fat jokes into every blog post, readers might object: “Hey, stop picking on fat people!”

Same deal with feminism. How many columns denouncing “rape culture” does any literate adult really need to read? Probably one or two would do, but during the past couple of years, feminists were cranking out scores of “rape culture” diatribes every week. In June 2014, George F. Will wrote a column that contained a couple of sentences that offended feminists, and from the reaction you would have thought that Will himself had been stalking college campuses and raping girls. With the repetitive intensity of  a voodoo zombie drumbeat — “rape! rape! rape!” —  the feminist tribe kept pounding away at the same theme, depicting all males as violent monsters on a 24/7 sexual rampage, and the only way to stop this merciless rape onslaught was to elect Hillary Clinton.

To which proposition the American people answered “no.”

No means no, as the feminists say, but having their candidate rejected by the electorate sent them into fits of rage. The message of Saturday’s “Women’s March” was, if you thought feminists were crazy before Trump became president, you have no idea how crazy they are now.

Ladies, the election is over. You lost.

Also you’re fat, but I don’t want to annoy readers with more fat jokes about you. Let ’em make their own jokes. That’s what comments are for.



2 Responses to “She’s Fat, Blame Patriarchy”

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    […] I’ve already exceeded my weekly quota of fat jokes, there isn’t much more I can say about the Women’s March on Washington. Madonna is now […]

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