The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Comic Genius @AceOfSpadesHQ: Funnier Than @AmySchumer (and Not as Fat)

Posted on | March 17, 2017 | Comments Off on Comic Genius @AceOfSpadesHQ: Funnier Than @AmySchumer (and Not as Fat)


You probably forgot that Vogue put Amy Schumer on its cover in July 2016, which was one of those many signs that the entire media establishment — fashion magazines included — had gone all-in on the Hillary Clinton presidential bandwagon. This massive propaganda blitz on behalf of the Feminist™ brand began cranking up in early 2014. By the summer of 2016 the fever was raging like Ella Dawson’s herpes infection. Striving to create a sense of historic destiny on behalf of the First Woman President, it became the habit of journalists interviewing female celebrities to solicit their opinions on feminism. “Are you a feminism? What does feminism mean to you?” Well, why did it matter?

Someone should go back and scrutinize how many sitcom starlets and pop singer barely out of their teens were solicited for their opinions on feminism between, say, June 2014 and November 2016. It was like the HUAC hearings from 1951 or something: “Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the feminist movement?” All of this hype for the Feminist™ brand was transparently a media effort to help Hillary overcome the negative perceptions of her as the ultimate example of what everybody hates about feminists — angry, vindictive, selfish, etc.


The editors at Vogue made Amy Schumer their cover girl in July 2016 not because she was glamorous or widely admired, but because she is deliberately and defiantly obnoxious. This is how you fight the patriarchy, see? Be rude, crude and chubby because . . . empowerment!

Likability has become something of a dirty word for modern-day feminists, as if a woman’s daily routine should include being eternally vigilant about whether she presents as pleasant and appealing. Amy Schumer is not the least bit concerned with being likable, which, oddly enough, has made millions love her — although she does have more than her fair share of haters and trolls, she says, mostly men who “don’t like my disgusting feminism. The feedback that reaches me is so equal in appreciation and outrage that it doesn’t feel overwhelming in either direction.” . . .
In her act, she jokes about how if you’re a woman in Hollywood who weighs more than 140 pounds, it, “like, hurts people’s eyes.” Women’s being judged on how they present themselves alone is one of those issues that have endeared her to Hillary Clinton. Schumer is with her: an unequivocal supporter. (“She does all this f–king work,” she says, “and she’s just trying to do good, and people are like, Pearls? To that event?”) Indeed, Schumer seems to have fully embraced the idea that she can be an activist and still be funny. . . .

Remember, this is in Vogue magazine, a publication that earns revenue by selling advertising to vendors of cosmetics, clothing, jewelry and other female-specific products. When did partisan politics and radical ideology become fodder for fashion magazines? But I digress . . .

Ace of Spades has got jokes like Ella Dawson has herpes lesions, and insofar as I have a blogging hero, Ace is it. Ten years ago, when I was trapped in a desk job at The Washington Times, I’d read AOSHQ and say to myself, “That’s the life!” Perhaps a diligent researcher at the SPLC could dig around in Ace’s comments circa 2007 and find me commenting as “Chuck Norris’s Left Testicle” or something like that. Ace and his merry band of morons were having fun, while I was stuck editing wire-service reports and arguing with our Capitol Hill reporters over the wording of articles about long-since-forgotten congressional controversies. When I finally got my chance to eject from print journalism in early 2008, I swiftly made the transition to blogger and discovered . . . uh, well, it is genuinely fun at times, but ain’t nobody getting rich at it, or else Glenn Reynolds would have quit his day job as a university professor by now. However, I have no cause to complain, and thus have many reasons to be grateful to Ace of Spades for his inspiration. Not to get too meta here, but Ace has an idiosyncratic style — it’s his personality that is the selling-point. Everybody’s got an opinion on politics, and so it is a mistake to think that the secret of success in political blogging is to have The Correct Opinion, to imagine yourself to be a sort of official arbiter of political righteousness, and to expect people to sit still while you tutor them.

What Ace does . . . well, I’m already past the 700-word mark now, so I won’t bore you with trying to explain what he does, except to say that he’s extraordinarily good at doing it, which is why he’s been doing it successfully for nearly 15 years now. And at least half my blog shtick was stolen from Ace, including the idea that you can get away with writing really long blog posts. All the so-called “experts” tell you that there is an ideal length of a blog post — 300 or 400 words — and that it’s bad business to write long stuff, but some of the best stuff Ace has done over the years has been extended riffs, and why not? If you’re really cranking, if the good stuff is just pouring out effortlessly, just keep going until the thing reaches its own natural stopping point. Speaking of which .. . .

Amy Schumer blames “alt-right trolls” for the bad reviews of her latest comedy special on Netflix. Never mind that critics at such mainstream publications as Newsday and the Los Angeles Times also panned Schumer’s show — no, it’s those dastardly Trump-loving “trolls” who are to blame for her flop! Ace points out that Schumer has also been accused of stealing other comics’ material. Ace kind of goes easy on Schumer, admitting that he himself may have accidentally “stolen” a joke from an old David Spade SNL routine: “I didn’t write this joke. I just remembered it, without realizing it was a memory rather than an invention.”

Happens to the best of us, I guess, but Ace’s best is still awesome, like this brutal takedown of Evan McMullin’s latest venture, which is even funnier if you know the people it’s aimed at. But what Ace is most proud of these days is his GAINZ. He’s gotten into some kind of diet/exercise health kick that he blogs about regularly. When I was at CPAC, I ran into Ace’s girlfriend and asked, “Is Ace here?” She said he wasn’t — Ace was never much for big crowd scenes — and I said I was disappointed.

“I wanted to see him now that he’s made all these GAINZ, but I’m afraid I might not recognize him, all pumped up like Hans and Franz.”

She assured me that Ace won’t be competing for the Mr. Olympia title, but she is very proud that he’s getting healthy, rather than turning into a bloated blimp of a washed-up joke-thief like Amy Schumer.

Gotta keep Ace healthy, so he can live long enough to write the obituary when Amy Schumer chokes to death on a slice of pizza.



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