The Other McCain

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Trans. Sec. Buttigieg Announces $500M Pronoun Retooling Effort

Posted on | March 30, 2024 | Comments Off on Trans. Sec. Buttigieg Announces $500M Pronoun Retooling Effort

by Sissypuss

Secretary of Transportation Buttigieg decried the language used to describe the recent Key Bridge disaster in Baltimore. “We have to do everything in our power to avoid such costly calamities in the future,” he said, referring to the collision of the merchant vessel Dali with a bridge support, “and ‘everything’ means striking such antiquated usages as ‘she smacked that abutment’. We cannot even begin to rebuild this crucial infrastructure until we have outgrown this medieval mindset, even if takes a new bridge past a decade to complete. We either do this properly, or not at all. Ending our long, tragic history of sexism and misogyny is among the prime goals of the Biden Administration.”

Asked about the possibility of replacing the bridge with a less risky tunnel, Buttigieg accidentally spoke the truth: “We always go for maximal graft, and Maryland hasn’t coughed up enough kickbacks for another Big Dig yet. So we’re just throwing scraps to our agitator corps with this pronoun noise.”

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