The Other McCain

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Dow Jones Gains Nearly 3,000 Points After Trump Deports Gay Makeup Artist

Posted on | April 9, 2025 | 15 Comments

Look, I’m not one of these All-Purpose Expert types who hangs around on social media all day pretending to know everything about whatever’s the big Democratic Party talking point at the current moment. Today’s economic “expert” was, just a few weeks ago, an “expert” on national security, and last October was an “expert” on election polling. Go back to 2014, and their area of expertise was the “campus rape epidemic,” but then in 2016, they suddenly acquired authoritative knowledge of Russian “election interference.” In 2020, they became experts on viral epidemiology before turning their attention to “systemic racism.”

So I don’t claim to know why the stock market suddenly boomed upward this afternoon, and I’m not sure the media does, either:

The stock market mounted one of its biggest rallies in history after President Donald Trump announced a pause in some of his “reciprocal” tariffs on the globe, causing a market that has been under extreme pressure for the past week to explode higher.
The S&P 500 skyrocketed 9.52% to settle at 5,456.90 for its biggest one-day gain since 2008. For the broad market index, it was the third-biggest gain in post-WWII history. The Dow Jones Industrial Average advanced 2,962.86 points, or 7.87%, to close at 40,608.45 for its biggest percentage advance since March 2020. The Nasdaq Composite jumped 12.16% to end at 17,124.97, notching its largest one-day jump since January 2001 and second-best day ever.
About 30 billion shares traded hands, making it the heaviest volume day on Wall Street in history, according to records that go back 18 years.
“I have authorized a 90 day PAUSE, and a substantially lowered Reciprocal Tariff during this period, of 10%, also effective immediately,” Trump posted on his Truth Social. Trump, in the same post, said he was raising the tariff on China higher again to 125%.
Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent later clarified that all countries except China would return to the 10% baseline tariff rate, down from the higher rates that previously shocked the markets, as negotiations take place.

OK, so the “experts” are telling us that this has something to do with tariff policy, and maybe they’re right. On the other hand . . .

A gay makeup artist who arrived in the US last year in search of asylum has been flown to a maximum-security prison in El Salvador.
Andry José Hernández Romero was one of 238 Venezuelan migrants deported by the Trump administration on 15 March, reports CBS News.
The news follows a deal brokered between President Trump and El Salvador’s president Nayib Bukele allowing the US to send deportees to the central American’s country maximum security Terrorism Confinement Center, known as CECOT, located in Tecoluca.
“Our client, who was in the middle of seeking asylum, just disappeared. One day he was there, and the next day we’re supposed to have court, and he wasn’t brought to court,” Lindsay Toczylowski, Hernandez Romero’s lawyer, told CBS’s 60 Minutes.
“It’s horrifying to see someone who we’ve met and know as a sweet, funny artist, in the most horrible conditions I could imagine.”
Lawyers and family members for the deportees say they have had no contact with the prisoners since they were deported. However, TIME photojournalist Philip Holsinger, who has been reporting from the ground at CECOT, has reportedly described hearing one young man say, “I’m not a gang member. I’m gay. I’m a stylist,” as he cried out for his mother, was slapped and had his head shaved.
Hernandez Romero’s crown tattoos are the only evidence US immigration officials have given in court to accuse him of being part of Tren de Aragua, a Venezuelan gang Trump is campaigning to eradicate. . . .
Meanwhile Hernández’s mother, Alexis Dolores Romero de Hernández, has been quoted by The Guardian as saying: “Everyone has these crowns, many people. But that doesn’t mean they’re involved in the Tren de Aragua … He’s never had problems with the law.”
She furthermore added: “Let my son go. Review his case file. He is not a gang member.”

Oh, don’t worry, the “sweet, funny artist” should be very popular among his fellow inmates in the Salvadoran maximum-security prison.

Every Democrat in Congress will run for reelection next year promising to protect the rights of gay Venezuelan makeup artists. Why, I can hear Jasmine Crockett now, saying she’s “done picking cotton” — and done doing her own makeup, too! But what about the rights of gay American makeup artists, huh? When you start importing gay makeup artists from Third World countries, it drives down the wages of native-born gay makeup artists. Or at least, that’s what some “experts” tell me.

Correlation is not causation, except when it is, but I’m not claiming to be an expert on cosmetic artistry or economics, either. All I know is that (a) Andry José Hernández Romero is now in a Salvadoran maximum security prison and (b) things look a lot better for the 401(k) balance.

Post hoc ergo propter hoc, as experts in Latin would say.

In completely unrelated news, Britney Spears is still crazy.



 

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Category: Donald Trump, Economics, Immigration

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