How to Do an Awesome Blog Post

Posted on | August 24, 2010 | 22 Comments

Begin with an introductory sentence that ends with a link to your inspiration:

There will always be a fringe, living in its own private madhouse, that will never accept truth regardless of how it is presented.

As night follows day, the link is followed by a blockquote selection from the inspiration. Here, you have several options. You can just end it with some quick snark, or go on an extended rant.

Alternatively, you can try to relate the inspiration to something that’s trending on Memorandum. And what do I see linked here? It’s a headline:

Exclusive: Jimmy Carter headed to
North Korea on rescue mission

Notice that I’ve blockquoted that, in a large boldface font, so it actually looks like a headline. It helps if you include a photo of Jimmy Carter with a sarcastic caption.

One need not know anything about Jimmy Carter or North Korea, or the specific object of Carter’s Pyonyang misson, in order to make snarky comments about this headline. But let’s blockquote the story anyway:

His goal is to bring back Aijalon Mahli Gomes, a 30-year-old man from Boston who was sentenced to 8 years in prison in April, about three months after he was arrested crossing into North Korea via China.

Who in his right mind would try to sneak into North Korea? Aijalon Mahli Gomes is from Boston, so he’s used to living in a communist hellhole. Let the socialist scum rot in prison. But wait — there’s more:

Sen. John Kerry, D-MA, had offered to go to pick up Gomes and has been working on the case for months.

Yeah, it figures: This guy from Boston must be a Democratic voter, and Kerry wants to get him out of North Korea and back home before Nov. 2, so the guy can vote for Barney Frank. This shows Democrats must really be freaking out over the mid-term election, and are afraid that Republican challenger Sean Bielat is gaining momentum.

Let’s make a deal: If this Boston guy gets to come home, the North Koreans keep Jimmy Carter.

And that is how you do an awesome blog post. Please visit Jerry Wilson’s “Goldfish and Clowns” blog. He’s into NASCAR and Christine O’Donnell.

Category: Blogging, North Korea, Rule 2, Rule 3

Comments

22 Responses to “How to Do an Awesome Blog Post”

Sean
August 24th, 2010 @ 4:46 am

Well… sh*t.
Sean
August 24th, 2010 @ 12:46 am

Well… sh*t.
JSF
August 24th, 2010 @ 4:53 am

Awsome job Smitty!

Now if only you can fisk a Jimmy Buffett song and use it to describe Obama’s multiple vacations, you’ll hit Triple 7’s.

:}
JSF
August 24th, 2010 @ 12:53 am

Awsome job Smitty!

Now if only you can fisk a Jimmy Buffett song and use it to describe Obama’s multiple vacations, you’ll hit Triple 7’s.

:}
JeffS
August 24th, 2010 @ 5:55 am

Let’s make a deal: If this Boston guy gets to come home, the North Koreans keep Jimmy Carter.

Let’s be generous here: the Norks keep Jimmy Carter AND Senator Lurch.
JeffS
August 24th, 2010 @ 1:55 am

Let’s make a deal: If this Boston guy gets to come home, the North Koreans keep Jimmy Carter.

Let’s be generous here: the Norks keep Jimmy Carter AND Senator Lurch.
This is Why You Gotta Love The Other McCain :: The Lonely Conservative
August 24th, 2010 @ 2:23 am

[…] course it’s not just the picture. But I’m being coy, you’ll have to read the whole thing to get what I’m talking […]
waylay
August 24th, 2010 @ 7:23 am

“And that is how you do an awesome blog post” in wingnuttia.
waylay
August 24th, 2010 @ 3:23 am

“And that is how you do an awesome blog post” in wingnuttia.
Virginia Right! News Hound for 8/24/2010 | Virginia Right!
August 24th, 2010 @ 6:33 am

[…] How to Do an Awesome Blog Post […]
Estragon
August 24th, 2010 @ 10:58 am

I always take heart when I hear Jimmy Carter is flying into someplace to bring peace. Planes sometimes crash.

I actually saw the guy in my little rural poor county, at a Habitat for Humanity groundbreaking/presser. Jimmah and Rose rolled in in a limo, with security detail attached, he gets out and puts on a helmet and tool belt and poses for a few “hammering in the nail” photos, then they are all off in a flash – the whole charade took no more than 15 minutes start to finish, Carter said nothing to the assembled crowd (he did wave “hi” and “bye”) and very little to the workers there.

Carter did have a couple of good ideas coming into office, Zero Base Budgeting and taxing all income only once (ending the tax on dividends), but they were dependent upon the financial knowledge of Bert Lance, who was derailed by a phony scandal, and went nowhere in Washington.

Other than those things he was never able to achieve, his only high point was in swallowing the poison and appointing Volcker with independent authority to stop inflation.
Estragon
August 24th, 2010 @ 6:58 am

I always take heart when I hear Jimmy Carter is flying into someplace to bring peace. Planes sometimes crash.

I actually saw the guy in my little rural poor county, at a Habitat for Humanity groundbreaking/presser. Jimmah and Rose rolled in in a limo, with security detail attached, he gets out and puts on a helmet and tool belt and poses for a few “hammering in the nail” photos, then they are all off in a flash – the whole charade took no more than 15 minutes start to finish, Carter said nothing to the assembled crowd (he did wave “hi” and “bye”) and very little to the workers there.

Carter did have a couple of good ideas coming into office, Zero Base Budgeting and taxing all income only once (ending the tax on dividends), but they were dependent upon the financial knowledge of Bert Lance, who was derailed by a phony scandal, and went nowhere in Washington.

Other than those things he was never able to achieve, his only high point was in swallowing the poison and appointing Volcker with independent authority to stop inflation.
Wired
August 24th, 2010 @ 12:32 pm

When I hear of a lone American sneaking into North Korea and getting caught. My first thought is the guy is most likely CIA trying to get into the country to get intell.

Naturally the government wants to get him back as soon as possible so that the next guy they send on missions has the courage to sneak into the next hell hole country knowing his government will try very hard to win his release.
Wired
August 24th, 2010 @ 8:32 am

When I hear of a lone American sneaking into North Korea and getting caught. My first thought is the guy is most likely CIA trying to get into the country to get intell.

Naturally the government wants to get him back as soon as possible so that the next guy they send on missions has the courage to sneak into the next hell hole country knowing his government will try very hard to win his release.
Dave C
August 24th, 2010 @ 1:02 pm

That Charlie Booker video must have made an impact.
Dave C
August 24th, 2010 @ 9:02 am

That Charlie Booker video must have made an impact.
Live Free Or Die
August 24th, 2010 @ 2:05 pm

Mass. DemocRats going the extra mile in their quest for votes, meanwhile, back at the asylum, DemocRat run states foot drag on sending out election ballots to members of our military. http://electionlawcenter.com/ has this covered extensively.
Live Free Or Die
August 24th, 2010 @ 10:05 am

Mass. DemocRats going the extra mile in their quest for votes, meanwhile, back at the asylum, DemocRat run states foot drag on sending out election ballots to members of our military. http://electionlawcenter.com/ has this covered extensively.
The Other McCain’s OTHER instant classic how to blog | Smash Mouth Politics
August 24th, 2010 @ 12:22 pm

[…] new article that is guarandamnteed to become a classic must read for all aspiring bloggers: “How to do an awesome blog post.” I predict that it will go on to be linked to nearly as often as his first must read (and […]
Kojocaro
August 24th, 2010 @ 9:54 pm

waylay um i think your at the wrong blog
Kojocaro
August 24th, 2010 @ 5:54 pm

waylay um i think your at the wrong blog
Wednesday Wandom Wound-Up « Obi's Sister
August 25th, 2010 @ 8:55 am

[…] Instructions. […]