Posted on | September 15, 2011 | 147 Comments
Todd Palin helps his wife sign autographs after her Sept. 5 rally
in Manchester, N.H. (Photo by Peter Ingemi.)
“This is a man who has been relentlessly stalking my family to the point of moving in right next door to us to harass us and spy on us to satisfy his creepy obsession with my wife. His book is full of disgusting lies, innuendo, and smears. Even The New York Times called this book ‘dated, petty,’ and [said] that it ‘chases caustic, unsubstantiated gossip.’”
– Todd Palin
During my trip to Wasilla last year, I told Todd Palin that if he had shot Levi Johnston, no jury in the world would have convicted him, and his wife’s poll numbers would have gone up.
Our conversation was informal and off-the-record, so readers are left to imagine Todd’s reaction, but certainly the Palins can’t be held responsible for every crazy thing a journalist says. (It was, after all, merely a hypothetical.) And neither can the Palins be blamed for what I’m suggesting now.
Joe McGinniss deserves The Mother of All Ass-Whuppings, and Todd Palin ought to give him exactly what he deserves.
So I’m asking readers to go make a $25 donation to SarahPAC to help defray Todd’s legal expenses when he shows up at McGinniss’s first book signing and pounds that scurvy worm into a bloody pulp.
Please give $25 to SarahPAC, so that we can bail Todd Palin out on that assault charge — and then fly him to the next Joe McGinniss book signing to deliver yet another brutal ass-whupping.
Lather, rinse, repeat.
Just give $25 to SarahPAC, you see, and we’ll cover Todd Palin’s legal expenses and fly him to wherever Joe McGinniss appears in public, turning McGinniss’s book tour into a nationwide beatdown tour.
After McGinniss gets out of the hospital from his first ass-whupping, he’ll probably get a restraining order against Todd. Still, Random House will be forced to hire armed security to protect Creepy Joe because, hey, what’s a restraining order to an insulted husband who’s got thousands of loyal supporters donating $25 each to cover his legal expenses?
Bonus suggestion: Sarah PAC should hire a documentary crew to chronicle Todd Palin’s “One Nation Joe McGinniss Ass-Whupping Tour.”
Proceeds from sales of the DVD would go to defray Joe McGinniss’s medical bills. “Compassionate conservatism” and all that.
TODD PALIN FOR FIRST DUDE
Because Once His Wife Is President, He Can Start
Whupping Asses in the White House Press Corps
Meanwhile, dismayed by the number of commenters who think I’m (merely) joking: TODD PALIN DEFENSE FUND UPDATE!