Mika Brzezinski Is Smarter Than You

Posted on | November 21, 2011 | 19 Comments

Watching Fox News makes people stupid, according to experts at Fairleigh Dickinson University. And if you watch Fox, you’re obviously too stupid to argue with experts so . . . the science is settled!

Of course, the lead author of the study was kind enough to include his phone number on the press release, so if any Fox viewers want to call Daniel Cassino at 973-896-7072, I’m sure he’d be willing to explain to you how stupid you are.

As for myself, I’ve been trying to raise my IQ lately by watching MSNBC. By next week, I expect to be smart enough to achieve cold fusion and also cure cancer, but this morning I was still struggling to comprehend the transcendent genius of Mika Brzezinski:

Disgusting. . . . I’ve got nothing else. I’m so disgusted by that . . . I’m sickened by that . . . It’s fair to say he’s in the 1%, correct? He’s telling the 99% to take a bath and get a job? Really? . . . Who is this man? Who does he think he is? And why is he surging in the polls? I don’t get it. . . . It’s disgusting. It’s absolutely disgusting. . . . And it literally made my skin crawl.

Now, you Fox News viewers are probably too stupid to understand what’s so “disgusting” — absolutely disgusting! — about Newt Gingrich telling the Occupy Wall Street protesters to take a bath and get a job. But you fail to grasp this key fact: Mika Brzezinski knows that the Occupy Wall Street protesters are virtuous, just like she knows Republicans are greedy, and everybody she respects shares this knowledge.

To dispute Mika’s knowledge is to challenge her superiority, to suggest that you know as much as (or perhaps even more than) Mika knows, which is a personal insult to her and her equally knowledgeable friends. Who are you — you mouth-breathing cretin — to claim equality to such admirable people as Mika and her friends like E.J. Dionne?

It is impossible for people of good faith to disagree with Mika, because disagreeing with Mika is proof of bad faith. And if you weren’t so dumbed-down from watching Fox News, you’d understand that.

To Mika and her friends, sympathy toward the Occupiers is not merely an emotional feeling, but rather an objective fact: “These are good people. Their cause is worthy. They deserve support.”

Using pepper-spray on student Occupiers at UC-Davis is therefore objectively evil, and anyone who criticizes the Occupiers is disgusting. Mika and her friends think like this because they have been permitted to “own both the tools and the rules for cultural discourse,” as Jeff Goldstein explains:

It should be evident, from the Occupy Movement and the attempts by the Obama Administration to normalize class warfare rhetoric . . . that students are being taught — and not even necessarily overtly — to internalize the assertions and assumptions of Marxism and socialism. . . .
[W]e as a country and a culture have allowed the feel-good emotionalism of the leftist pitch to convince us to adopt and institutionalize ideas that are fundamentally and structurally anathema to the thinking that willed this country into being.

Obviously, Jeff Goldstein isn’t a good person like Mika Brzezinski, or the editors at the Washington Post who published a manifesto by the ideological godfathers of the Occupy movement:

For two heady months, the amorphous encampment in Lower Manhattan’s Zuccotti Park had been the symbolic heart of Occupy Wall Street, the birthplace of the greatest social-justice movement to emerge in the United States since the civil rights era. This primal cry for democracy sprang from young people who could no longer ignore the angst in their gut — the premonition that their future does not compute, that their entire lives will be lived in the apocalyptic shadow of climate-change tipping points, species die-offs, a deadening commercialized culture, a political system perverted by money, precarious employment, a struggle to pay off crippling student loans, and no chance of ever owning a home or living in comfort like their parents. Glimpsing this black hole of ecological, political, financial and spiritual crisis, the youth and the millions of Americans who joined them instinctively knew that unless they stood up and fought nonviolently for a different kind of future, they would have no future at all.

If your reaction is to dismiss this as left-wing lunatic gibberish, you’ve just proven how stupid you are. Probably because you watch Fox News. Maybe you should call Daniel Cassino at 973-896-7072. He’s an expert, and might be able to help you learn to enjoy watching Mika Brezinski on MSNBC, so you can be smart, too.

UPDATE: Because I’m so stupid (from years of watching Fox News), I forgot to remind you to shop our Amazon Associates “Black Friday” specials this week. Great deals for you, a small commission for me.

UPDATE II: Of course, our readers are mostly stupid Fox News viewers, so you probably don’t read “books” (as Mika and her smart friends call them), but maybe it’s time to try something new.

They sell everything at Amazon — even “computers,” which are machines that only smart people who watch MSNBC know how to use.

Category: MSNBC

Comments

19 Responses to “Mika Brzezinski Is Smarter Than You”

Anonymous
November 21st, 2011 @ 4:10 pm

NO CRAYONS for Mika Brzezinski either.
Joe
November 21st, 2011 @ 4:28 pm

You know what is ridiculous? Citing some study from Fairly Ridiculous University!

As for Mika, she is a child of nepotism (do you really think she would even have her job if not for her father?). She has been spoon fed Democratic pablum for years.
Joe
November 21st, 2011 @ 4:29 pm

I will give credit where credit is due, Mika has a nicer rack than Jeff Goldstein or Joe Scarborough.

I can be objective!
Sissy Willis
November 21st, 2011 @ 4:32 pm

Oh, the humanity!
Charles
November 21st, 2011 @ 5:24 pm

Factor in Daniel Cassino “Viewers of cable news on MSNBC
are the most likely to think the [Occupy Wall Street] protestors are
Republicans.” Mika probably thinks he’s telling the Repubican base to get a bath. They are the 99% after all.
Anonymous
November 21st, 2011 @ 5:30 pm

Mika Brzezinski: the shiny bling on a stage of Progressive Pimps

When the patina wears off exposing the undercoat, and the touch-up team can’t do anymore, she’ll be shelved.
keyboard jockey
November 21st, 2011 @ 5:39 pm

Isn’t Mika a member of the 1% just saying she’s signed a contract with MSNBC for millions not peanuts.

Mika Brzezinski is a television news journalist and has a net worth of $4 million. Mika Brzezinski earned her net worth as a news correspondent and anchorwoman. She was born in New York, New York and began her career in 1990.
http://www.celebritynetworth.com/richest-celebrities/mika-brzezinski-net-worth/

But her dad is insisting she give it back so I am sure that’s going to happen really soon/

Talking with the MSNBC crew about the concentration of wealth in America as motivation for “Occupy Wall Street,” Dr. Brzezinski seems to believe that publishing the names of people who make a lot of money would be helpful in redistributing wealth:

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/msnbc-expert-wants-media-to-publish-list-of-rich-people-to-pressure-them-to-give-back/

Maybe her dad is onto something, let’s start making a list and publish it, let’s start with NBC and MSNBC on air talent, and their Corporate Bosses 🙂
Adjoran
November 21st, 2011 @ 5:40 pm

Between you, Goldstein, Brzezinski’s Dad, Scarborough’s Mom, and Mathews’ TIVO, the entire MSNBC audience is pretty well accounted for.
The Most Important Battle Is Not Being Fought In This War « The Camp Of The Saints
November 21st, 2011 @ 5:50 pm

[…] Goldstein has been doing so for nearly a decade [tip of the fedora to Stacy McCain]: Next month, protein wisdom will turn a decade old. And for the entirety of that decade I’ve […]
ThePaganTemple
November 21st, 2011 @ 6:45 pm

It’s too bad Olbermann isn’t there now, he could go down to the Occupy site and teach a seminar on the finer points of luxurious bathing. I’m sure ol’ Keith wouldn’t mind volunteering for bathtub duty, and maybe he could even throw in a pedicure here and there.
Anonymous
November 21st, 2011 @ 6:47 pm

I’m getting tired of all the shameless cheerleading for Newt on this blog.
Datechguy's Blog » Blog Archive » Morning Joe’s Mika Brzezinski, and the media in the plastic bubble » Datechguy's Blog
November 21st, 2011 @ 6:47 pm

[…] 6: Stacy goes all Doug Piranha on Mika It is impossible for people of good faith to disagree with Mika, because disagreeing with Mika is […]
Anonymous
November 21st, 2011 @ 7:05 pm

Mika, quit yer goofball caterwauling and just tell us when it’s time for the audience of Sprockets to dance.
ThePaganTemple
November 21st, 2011 @ 7:59 pm

You must have missed the post where Stacy said he would support Romney before he would Newt.
Joe
November 21st, 2011 @ 8:05 pm

kryon77, is that a joke? Stacy repeats the mantra: Newt has to answer for Scozzafava almost every day.
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November 21st, 2011 @ 8:17 pm

[…] (typeof(addthis_share) == "undefined"){ addthis_share = [];}When I previously explained that Mika Brzezinski is smarter than you, a commenter called to my attention a video clip from Oct. 17. It’s of Mika’s father, […]
Anonymous
November 21st, 2011 @ 8:29 pm

I should have used /sarc symbol, or however the kids do it these days on the interwebs.

The implication, however, was that Newt’s words were not in that particular instance disgusting, which might be nicest thing ever said about Gingrich on this blog .
Bob Belvedere
November 22nd, 2011 @ 7:36 am

Oh! The humbuggery!
Bob Belvedere
November 22nd, 2011 @ 7:43 am

Brezezinski unperson.