National Offend a Feminist Week 2012

Posted on | May 7, 2012 | 141 Comments

Did somebody say “War on Women”? OK, we’re not actually anti-woman. More like, anti-Women’s Studies majors. Which is why, for the fourth consecutive year, we are pleased once more to inaugurate this annual festival of fun, quoting the immortal words of our charter:

Hey, sweetheart, when I say “bring me a cup of coffee,” I mean bring me fresh coffee, OK?

Ever since we began this yearly celebration in 2009, it has been necessary to explain that we do not endorse wife-spanking. Unless she needs it.

Most of the time, however, spanking is unnecessary, because our wives know to bring us fresh coffee. That’s why we married them, right? And, of course, because our wives have a sense of humor.

Q. How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. That’s not funny!

Joking at the expense of feminists, however, has become increasingly dangerous. Earlier this year, the Southern Poverty Law Center added “misogyny” to his hate-group listings, so it’s probably a civil-rights violation to laugh at these jokes. And you’re a sexual predator if you talk to an atheist feminist in a hotel elevator.

The empowering message of feminism is that all women are victims.

Victimhood is synonymous with power. To deny women their victimhood is therefore to re-victimize and disempower them.

Don’t laugh: Somebody once laughed at Ashley Judd’s puffy face, and we’ve been suffering from her empowered victimhood ever since.

As usual, National Offend a Feminist Week ends on ~~Mother’s Day~~ Oppressed Victims of Patriarchy Day, when millions of womyn are painfully reminded of what happens when they are deprived of “choice.”

WARNING: If you are offended by images of how women were victimized before they had The Right to Choose, DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK!

Gruesome, isn’t it? And speaking of gruesome, Amanda Marcotte:

A lot of conservatives have taunted me personally with assumptions that I’m constantly getting abortions with my slutty slut self, so you can see why people who also believe that Obama is a covert agent might think there’s some secret underground conspiracy of feminists to emasculate men by secretly stealing away the womb fruit that proves their American seed works. The 4 million proof-their-fathers-had-sex-things we call babies born a year are seen as the rare escapees from the pro-choice conspiracy to wipe out all proof of American virility.

Making fun of Amanda Marcotte is simple: Just quote her.

Also, remember that Amanda Marcotte once believed — indeed, she was paid to proclaim — that John Edwards should be elected president. Never mind his disgusting adultery and love-child breeding. What is truly disgusting, Ms. Marcotte informs us, is that Edwards is being prosecuted for misusing campaign funds.

Victimhood is power, remember? Edwards is a victim, and therefore powerful. And powerful men are sexy!

Do you suspect that Amanda Marcotte craves John Edwards’s seed? Will you ever forgive me for suggesting that nauseating mental image?

Speaking of nauseating images: Women gazing with awe at Obama!

Today is Monday, which gives bloggers a full seven days for spitefully mocking feminism and everything feminists admire or cherish. Just don’t forget to link back here, so we can aggregate your courageous efforts. And don’t forget to shop our Amazon Mother’s Day specials, so we can make a shameless capitalist profit from this enterprise.

Category: Feminism, National Offend a Feminist Week

Comments

141 Responses to “National Offend a Feminist Week 2012”

Adjoran
May 7th, 2012 @ 3:20 pm

Hey, losing appendages is HOW WE LEARN.
Adjoran
May 7th, 2012 @ 3:21 pm

Amanda has certainly had plenty of bangs!
Adjoran
May 7th, 2012 @ 3:22 pm

While you’re up, make me a sandwich.
Anamika
May 7th, 2012 @ 3:24 pm

Ya know,Amsterdam is my favorite town, it’s not that large, everything is within walking distance, but the atmosphere in A. is GLOBAL No Limit, I’ve never seen anything like it, even if I’ve been here and there in this world.
teresakoch
May 7th, 2012 @ 3:26 pm

Lemme guess – youse guys wanna sammich with that coffee, too.

Troglodytes….. 😛
ThePaganTemple
May 7th, 2012 @ 3:28 pm

If you really want to get to them, say all that stuff like you’re not being sarcastic but really mean it. Say something like, “I’m just trying to understand where you all are coming from, because frankly it doesn’t make any sense to me. Are you all too miserable to appreciate a good man enough to cook his food, clean his clothes, clean the house etc., while he goes off to work.

But by all means, whatever you do, make damn sure to throw in that part about the foot massage.
JeffS
May 7th, 2012 @ 3:29 pm

Tut tut, Anamika, tut tut!

You still haven’t served the coffee.

Tut tut, Anamika! I need a sammich. Tut tut!
Adjoran
May 7th, 2012 @ 3:35 pm

My hammers resent that remark.
ThePaganTemple
May 7th, 2012 @ 3:41 pm

I’ve been trying to think of songs to offend feminists, but so far this is the only one I can think of. Warning, kinda sappy-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QN6p66AtDc
Adjoran
May 7th, 2012 @ 3:41 pm

We should stop making fun of Amanda “Chubbs” Marcotte. Eating disorders are no laughing matter, and I’m sure her weight problems are related to her Daddy issues – the same ones which lead her to all the self-destructive behavior like supporting John Edwards.

One day, after years of psychoanalysis (mostly on the couch) and extensive electroshock therapy, she may be able to live a near-normal life, perhaps even redeem her past by doing PSAs for STDs.
ThePaganTemple
May 7th, 2012 @ 3:48 pm

She brings it all on herself. She should be far more offended by John Edwards actual actions and hypocrisy than by anything anybody like us ever say or do. Especially since his campaign fired her as its official blogger, or whatever the hell she was.

As a matter of fact, John Edwards should be so offensive to all feminists anywhere, I’m thinking of putting his name in nomination for Honey Prince Of #NationalOffendAFeministWeek.
Mary Rose
May 7th, 2012 @ 3:56 pm

Amsterdam is a pit. At least it was in 1985 when I visited. Very spiritually oppressive. But how could it be otherwise? Between the red light district, the hashish coffee shops, and the disgusting, perverted sex museums, it was no surprise. It is a very dark city.
Mary Rose
May 7th, 2012 @ 3:58 pm

Pathfinder’s wife — you ROCK!! I’d love to have a beer with you… or any beverage of choice. Loved that sign-off!
Mary Rose
May 7th, 2012 @ 4:06 pm

I am giggling, here. Being bad can be soooo much fun!

I may even throw in the fact that I call my husband, “my lord.” And add, “You can’t say that deep down inside you don’t like a little dominance in your life. Or is that just reserved for the SEIU?”

Okay. I’ll behave now.
Mary Rose
May 7th, 2012 @ 4:09 pm

Stacy, just posted my first blog post and linked to you. I’m going to be ripping.. …er… discussing feminism each day this week. Wildly fun times!
Offending Feminists Through Music « NoOneOfAnyImport
May 7th, 2012 @ 4:13 pm

[…] let me allow Mr. McCain to explain, since he’s a man and therefore much smarter than me: “The empowering message of feminism is that all women are victims. Victimhood is […]
Pathfinder's wife
May 7th, 2012 @ 4:16 pm

By all means…my preferences are Sam Adams or Shiner; Yuengling is good too, but you can’t get it around here 😉
Anamika
May 7th, 2012 @ 4:16 pm

Hey Jeff, do you remember the scene in Five Easy Pieces with Jack Nicholson with the
waitress in the diner?
Pathfinder's wife
May 7th, 2012 @ 4:20 pm

Danby — on a serious note: it really isn’t wise to allow any child under age 10 to handle equines unsupervised (at the youngest). I know I did (or rather, was expected to), but they aren’t physically strong enough nor mentally focused enough to be doing so.
In that regard, I am a bit sweeter and gentler than my parents/grandparents — I’ve got no desire to push the odds with splitting my kids’ melons open.

Apologies for the aside: but it’s one of my pet bugaboos; seen too many little kids who have wound up in the emergency room (and some in a coffin) because they got turned loose with a horse too early.
Mark Goluskin
May 7th, 2012 @ 4:23 pm

How about any song by Motley Crue?!
Offending Feminists Through Music « Disrupt the Narrative
May 7th, 2012 @ 4:26 pm

[…] let me allow Mr. McCain to explain, since he’s a man and therefore much smarter than me: “The empowering message of feminism is that all women are victims. Victimhood is […]
Adjoran
May 7th, 2012 @ 4:27 pm

What would happen if she mussed his hair?
Adjoran
May 7th, 2012 @ 4:28 pm

Dave’s not here!
Correllio
May 7th, 2012 @ 4:32 pm

Mate, mate, mate, it’s about time your National Offend a Feminist week came under fascist UN control and went international. Why should we Aussies miss out on the fun? After all, we gave you the best of the emetic feminists like Germain Greer. And our feminists abuse the word ‘ugly’ in mind, body and soul.

Moreover, if you want nauseating images of women gazing in awe at Obama, we Aussies can do better. Here’s our childless, atheist Prime Minister, life long socialist and Emily Lister Sister (founding member of Australian chapter!), former bonker of union fraudsters and married men, present cohabiter of hairdresser, not just gazing but full on man-handling, pawing, panting (we had to censor those photos) And yes mate, it is true. This spawn of the feminist left is named…Julia!

http://www.news.com.au/national/touching-times-for-prime-minister-julia-gillard-and-us-president-barack-obama/story-e6frfkvr-1226197371568
Anamika
May 7th, 2012 @ 4:33 pm

You don’t have to do Amsterdam, Amsterdam will do you.
Adjoran
May 7th, 2012 @ 4:34 pm

The feminists don’t give a crap about women – they proved that with Clinton and the Kennedys. They are all about marxist ideology, and if you promote that you can use and discard all the women you wish and still be a hero to the “feminists” without them so much as blinking.

If Edwards is convicted, he’ll be the Honey Prince, all right – but of a different hash tag.
Anamika
May 7th, 2012 @ 4:37 pm

… the gradual buildup of anger at the waitress, over the issue of butter on toast…

… but in the last scene, he did formally give up his identity!
Adjoran
May 7th, 2012 @ 4:47 pm

Are you proposing, then, an International Offend a Feminist Week? It could work. But these things don’t happen by themselves, you know.

Most of us think of NOAFW as seven days of fun and frolic, misogynistic merrymaking, patronizing paternalism, and mystical machismo. But all this is only possible because Stacy works behind the scenes year-round, ensuring all the blow-up dolls balloons are patched and inflated, supervising the seamstresses stitching and mending the French Maid outfits, choosing the lace border design for this year’s Hostess Aprons, and generally enforcing discipline among the girls.

Scarred old slaver knows he’s doing alright
Hear him with the women just around midnight

Unless you have someone with that level of drive and dedication, your week-long celebration would be just another seven days of drunken debauchery and degradation. NTTAWWT.
Bob Belvedere
May 7th, 2012 @ 5:10 pm

To Hell with Marcotte for the reasons PW provides.

Now, Paula Cinko is what you want [sadly for you, though, she’s been mine since 1969]:

http://thegolddiggers.files.wordpress.com/2008/09/paula.jpg?w=293&h=344
National Offend a Feminist Week « Enjoyment and Contemplation
May 7th, 2012 @ 5:18 pm

[…] I’m not sure whether it qualifies, but here’s my contribution to The Other McCain’s National Offend a Feminist Week: […]
Bob Belvedere
May 7th, 2012 @ 5:40 pm

Well…we are talking about Aussies, after all.

BTW: An excellent discription of what Stacy does year-round.
CyberRabid
May 7th, 2012 @ 6:15 pm

http://www.infowars.com/police-caught-in-the-act-of-drugging-protestors/?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

I realise that my source on this is a website that caters mainly to conspiracy theorist and is sympathetic toward the Occupy movement, but we still must consider the possibility that the scenario being proposed could be true.

http://www.infowars.com/fbi-exploited-mental-illness-in-latest-fake-terror-case/

What we’re looking at could easily be ‘Fast-n-Furious’ on a smaller scale, with a twist.
rosalie
May 7th, 2012 @ 6:23 pm

I’m right in the midst of Yuengling country and used to take voice lessons at what was once their estate. I don’t drink it though. I’m into lemon-flavored beers now.
Mike G.
May 7th, 2012 @ 7:13 pm

From what I remember of the red light district in Amsterdam, the standards were pretty high. Not sure if Anamika would qualify. Now she might possibly qualify for 20 Mark Strausse outside of K-Town though. ( Germany)
ThePaganTemple
May 7th, 2012 @ 7:18 pm

Marcotte seems to think the case against him is awful weak, and she makes a good case. In a way I hope she’s right, because it could turn out to be yet another case of Obama Justice Department misconduct. And the best part is, Edwards is still going to look like the scumbag he is, regardless of how the case turns out.

But it would be hilarious if he was to turn around and sue for malicious prosecution, or on the grounds that it was political grandstanding to try to shore up the Administrations standing with women, even though they knew they didn’t really have a case.
Is it Offend a Feminist Week already? « The Daley Gator
May 7th, 2012 @ 7:25 pm

[…] annual National Offend A Feminist Week, which he has proclaimed for the next seven glorious days [please see here for details] and which I will be fully participating in with that great gusto you’ve come to expect from your […]
Doug Hagin
May 7th, 2012 @ 7:28 pm

Stacy, here is my first entry celebrating this VERY IMPORTANT event!
http://thedaleygator.wordpress.com/2012/05/07/is-it-offend-a-feminist-week-already/
JeffS
May 7th, 2012 @ 7:31 pm

Tut tut, Anamika, tut tut!

This is not a movie that feminists should be referencing. In that scene, Dupea (Nichoson’s character) tells the waitress:

“I want you to hold it between your knees.”

This is a politically incorrect form of birth control, as it requires abstinence, something that Sandra Fluke would vehemently reject.

Further, Nicholson verbally abuses the waitress for doing her job, further disenfranchising The Womyn.

Tut tut, Anamika! You must not go against Teh Narrative! Tut tut!
JeffS
May 7th, 2012 @ 7:32 pm

Tut tut, Anamika, tut tut!

You clearly speak with the voice of experience.

Tut tut, Anamika! Sexually transmitted diseases are no joke. Tut tut!
Dave
May 7th, 2012 @ 8:03 pm

I am too.
Hey All You Feminists…It’s Your Week In The Barrel! « That Mr. G Guy's Blog
May 7th, 2012 @ 8:28 pm

[…] off, we have the original offender of fembots, Stacy McCain who goes after possibly his favorite target, Amanda Marcotte. Here’s a short excerpt; As […]
Bob Belvedere
May 7th, 2012 @ 9:17 pm

So, Mr. Moderator, who is going to get me that cop o’ Joe now. Is Joy or Roxeanne available?
Bob Belvedere
May 7th, 2012 @ 9:18 pm

King Tut Tut is back!
Cube
May 7th, 2012 @ 9:19 pm

As my wife would say, “Behave? What’s a ‘behave’?”
Cube
May 7th, 2012 @ 9:22 pm

Either way, it’s a win.
Bob Belvedere
May 7th, 2012 @ 9:23 pm

Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed by Kinky Friedman & The Texas Jewboys.
Wombat_socho
May 7th, 2012 @ 9:47 pm

And from one of Instapundit’s guest bloggers, we have this topical news item.
Garym
May 7th, 2012 @ 9:56 pm

There are even hammers that sing. Marcotte is not one of those hammers.
Garym
May 7th, 2012 @ 9:57 pm

How about a Scooby snack?
Pathfinder's wife
May 7th, 2012 @ 11:05 pm

That seasonal stuff from SA isn’t too bad…but I’m not a fan of fruit in my beer.
Oh, I like Guiness too, but that’s more of a cool weather beverage.