The Other McCain

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USA! USA! USA!

Posted on | July 30, 2012 | 16 Comments

U.S. water polo team members, including Melissa Seidemann (3rd from Left)

I am immune to “Olympic fever.” I covered the Atlanta Olympics in ’96 and, as far as I’m concerned, the whole thing is just a bunch of made-for-TV commercialized hype. However . . .

The United States defeated Hungary 14-13 today in women’s water polo. I happened to glance up at the TV as the victorious Americans climbed out of the pool and I was like: Whoa! Who’s that?

Advanced research skills soon yielded the answer: Melissa Seidemann, six feet tall, 22, a recent graduate of Stanford University, where she twice led the team in scoring. Readers may remember my complaints about the scrawny little girls of Olympic gymnastics.

No such complaints about Melissa Seidemann.

Having alerted my colleague Dan Collins, I declare women’s water polo the Official Olympic Sport for Guys Who Like Full-Grown Women.

Forget all that silly boohooing about Jordyn Wieber not making the gymnastics all-around finals. Big girls don’t cry, and our water polo ladies are going for the gold. Melissa Seidemann is on Twitter, where this is her profile avatar:

Yeah, I know what you guys are thinking: “Lucky dog.”

UPDATE: Bob Belvedere shares my newfound enthusiasm.

UPDATE II: A British columnist finds an honest photographer:

“It’s a three-letter word. It’s not complicated.” David Hoskinson, a photographer who has been covering Olympic events for 20 years, has firm opinions on why women’s beach volleyball is so popular with corporate sponsors. “You know this, you’re a bright girl,” he sniffs. “Sex sells.” . . .
“The appeal is obviously fabulous bodies,” says Hoskinson. “They’re all tall, they’re all athletic, they have hard bodies. Use your imagination.”

Of course, everybody knows this, but you’re not supposed to say it out loud.

Comments

  • http://thecampofthesaints.org Bob Belvedere

    She’s lovely.

    See the whole team here:
    Rule 5 News Special Report: Women’s Water Polo Anyone?
    http://thecampofthesaints.org/2012/07/30/rule-5-news-special-report-womens-water-polo-anyone/

  • DonaldDouglas

    Sweet!

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  • http://thecampofthesaints.org Bob Belvedere

    Speaking of the American Women’s Volleyball Team, TCOTS was on the case last Saturday:
    http://thecampofthesaints.org/2012/07/28/rule-5-news-28-july-2012-a-d/

  • Charles

    I wouldn’t kick anyone on that USA women’s water polo team out of the pool.

    As for Jordyn, she was doomed from that moment after birth when her parents hung that Y on her name. Why, why?

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  • JamieJeffords

    Scoff if you wish, but Shawn Johnson was the number one post for The Eye last week.  She resembles a cartoon chipmunk.

  • http://profiles.yahoo.com/u/EU5DQWQTTHTPO4A4ZYSL3AAV2U Adjoran

    Wasn’t it Roone Arledge who invented the “Up Close & Personal” approach for Wide World of Sports for ABC back in the day?  The idea was to profile a contender in an upcoming event, often a little-known or little-followed sport, to give viewers a rooting interest, a reason to care about Transgendered Tandem Tiddlywinks or whatever.

    In the meantime they could sneak in a little tutorial on the sport so the viewer knew what to look for in the upcoming, and they killed some air time to fit in a few more commercials.

    But it’s gotten completely out of hand in the modern Olympic era and we tend to get profile after profile.  There is more time spent on this crap than on actual competitions.  And you know why?  It’s the women.

    Not the athletes – and little Kelly Strug may have been a scrawny little girl, but I’ll take her courage and heart over a diva like Jeff Gordon any day – the women in the audience.  They don’t give a rat’s patootie what “curling” or “triathlons” are,  but they love a good story, especially if it’s kind of sad – like the poor little kid raised by wolves who fed only on discarded fast food on the roadside and sneaked into frat houses to suck the remaining beer out of the cans and bottles after a party just to survive, but still managed to realize his Olympic dream by making the national Dung-hurling team.

    I tried to tell you people it was a mistake giving them the vote.

  • Shawny

    What a warm, open, gorgeous face she has and a winning smile.   You guys should be jealous of the dog.  I’ll bet that’s one spoiled pup who knows what sided his kibble is buttered on.  Take note, Ms Melissa prefers to be welcomed home with much tail wagging and a full body hug. 

  • http://thecampofthesaints.org Bob Belvedere
  • http://thecampofthesaints.org Bob Belvedere

    Well put…but it’s ‘Miss’.

  • M. Thompson

     Remember, happiness makes a woman much more attractive, and she’s a good bit of woman.

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