The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Best. Wife. Ever.

Posted on | March 20, 2014 | 21 Comments

Maura Fussell, 26, gives us reason to hope.

Sometimes, the daily grind of the news can get you down. Politics is depressing, and cable TV won’t shut the hell up about that stupid Malaysian plane. And then, while you’re clinging desperately to your last shred of sanity, you see this headline:

Society Is Doomed, Say Scientists

That pretty much settles it, right? Ever since November 2012, I’ve been fighting a sense of hopelessness, but that’s just me. Now, however, scientists say we’re doomed, and you can’t argue with science.

Could the scientists possibly be mistaken? I don’t know, but I took renewed inspiration from the example of Maura Fussell:

Our story begins with a Reston man being arrested at some point Saturday, though Arlington police spokesman Dustin Sternbeck was not sure what he was charged with. Then, around 11 p.m., a reportedly naked woman appeared at the magistrate’s office next to the county jail, demanding to see her husband. Police believe she was intoxicated. . . . The Shamrock Crawl, advertised as Arlington’s largest bar crawl, was held from 2 p.m. to 9 p.m. Saturday, and though Sternbeck was not certain the woman was a pub crawler, “anybody who was in Clarendon that afternoon was participating one way or the other.”
The woman “was given several opportunities to put her clothes back on,” Sternbeck said, “exit the magistrate’s office and go home in a cab. But she refused and took the charges,” which meant spending the night in the county jail. . . . She and her husband were both released the next day . . .
Maura Fussell, 26, of Reston, was charged with indecent exposure and being drunk in public.

America loves you, Mrs. Fussell!

 

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Comments

  • http://thecampofthesaints.org Bob Belvedere

    I wouldn’t mind inspecting her Fussell-lage, IYKWIMAITYD.

  • Mike G.

    She looks to have a healthy body style, the kind I like.

  • Lemuel Vargas

    She is HOT!!!! even without a makeup on!!!

  • daleyrocks

    Ace of Spades lifestyle!

  • Delaney Coffer

    She’s cute, but she’s defiled herself, so I’m torn.

    Not really. I’m never torn.

  • robertstacymccain

    I know, right?

  • http://wizbangblog.com/ Adjoran

    I admire a woman with nothing to hide.

  • M. Thompson

    #EwokPride.

  • Dave

    So she’s cute, and she defiled herself. Man, this gal has everything!

  • Kirby McCain

    Bucket list updated.

  • RS

    But, but, but . . . . The Patriarchy!?!

  • CrustyB

    St. Patrick would have been proud. She’s keeping up the Irish tradition of acting nutty.

  • Bozikek

    Lady Godiva? issat youuu?

  • http://deadrepublicanparty.wordpress.com/ rmnixondeceased

    A woman who knows what she wants and how to get it …

  • richard mcenroe

    Why, she’s practically a modern-day Granuiaile! Or just too damn drunk to get out of her own way. One or the other.

  • richard mcenroe

    Great minds think alike, although I like my reference better than that prissy little limey.

  • http://evilbloggerlady.blogspot.com/ Evi L. Bloggerlady

    A good wife is hard to find.

  • http://evilbloggerlady.blogspot.com/ Evi L. Bloggerlady

    A good wife is hard to find.

  • Adobe_Walls

    Wow, Clarendon seems to have become a lot more interesting than when I grew up there.

  • Pingback: Maura Fussell: Drunk, naked and arguing for her man in Arlington! | Batshit Crazy News

  • ThomasD

    Seminole.

    Should have seen that coming.