The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Note on Juke-Joint Etiquette

Posted on | October 29, 2010 | 2 Comments

ABINGDON, Va. — Thursday night, in pursuit of the inside story of the VA-9 congressional campaign, I met with Republican sources at a saloon on State Street in Bristol.

When we walked in, the jukebox was playing some toneless heavy metal noise that was getting on my road-frayed nerves. “Obviously,” I told my companions, “these people don’t know how to operate a jukebox.”

With a few dollars’ worth of quarters, I then gave a lesson in proper jukebox operation. There are some songs that are great jukebox tunes, guaranteed to put saloon-goers into a happy mood, get the ladies dancing and make the pool-shooters start playing air-guitar on their pool cues. Pretty much anything by Lynyrd Skynyrd, ZZ Top or the Allman Brothers, for example. Or this all-time singalong classic:

Here is a photo of my Republican sources and some of their local grassroots juke-joint constituents:

Research demonstrate that good juke-joint music inspires grassroots constituents to join the Axis of Fedora:

My Republican sources assure me that they plan to continue their grassroots outreach program, to make sure that these constituents vote for Morgan Griffith on Tuesday.


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