The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

“Act Now,” Says Lagarde, As In “Keep The Kabuki Caterwauling, Kids”

Posted on | August 29, 2011 | 3 Comments

by Smitty via Drudge

“The standard old bits of farce are losing traction on the world stage,” she was not quoted as saying, “as more people have access to information. [NSFW] 73 percent of Americans are no longer able to suspend their disbelief for our merde.”
What she did say was:

She called for a “mandatory substantial recapitalization,” through private channels if possible, but otherwise through some form of public, Europe-wide funding, such as the European Financial Stability Facility.
Lagarde also warned advanced economies away from tightening their belts so fast that it imperils recovery.
“Put simply, macroeconomic policies must support growth,” the former French economy minister said. On Friday, she made the same point in a phone conversation with U.S. President Barack Obama, in which the White House said they agreed on the need for policies to spur job creation.

Translated out of Prog-speak, this means:

“Public officials must re-invigorate their dance routines, and shake their money-fabricators, to keep the audience focused on policy as the ultimate source of solutions. If the lumpen proletariat goes old-school and relies on archaic sources such as the private economy, capitalism, and individual industry to recover from the idiocies of globalization, then the very core of Progressive Theater itself could be threatened.

  • Bureaucratic slugs could find themselves exposed to the harsh light of competition.
  • People may realize that musicians using AutoTune are self-identifying as useless hacks.
  • Independent thought could break out, triggering a loss of faith in Holy Progress.

This possibility must, of course, be crushed like Gibson guitars.”

progressive twig on the warpath

Christine Lagarde of the IMF demonstrates a new move, the 'bureau-karate chop', for use when acting in roles that save the global economy.


3 Responses to ““Act Now,” Says Lagarde, As In “Keep The Kabuki Caterwauling, Kids””

  1. 9thGenDescendant
    August 29th, 2011 @ 5:52 pm

    Your translation from Prog-Speak to Plain-English is invaluable.

  2. rosalie
    August 29th, 2011 @ 6:12 pm

    And the prog-speak is definitely “merde”.

  3. Adjoran
    August 29th, 2011 @ 6:55 pm

    I’m just glad to see Charlie Crist found a new gig.