The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

I See What Romney Did There

Posted on | March 20, 2012 | 11 Comments

by Smitty

The Hill has the video. I’ll offer a translation:

The Hill Smitty
“I don’t see how a young American can vote for, well, can vote for a Democrat,” Romney said in a speech at the University of Chicago. It is of paramount importance that I focus attention on the party, and not the individual. Any hint of personalization, of admitting that I’m actually running against Barack Hussein Obama, equates to raaaaaacism.
The former Massachusetts governor said Democrats were saddling young people with debt while Republicans are committed to reducing spending and balancing the budget. When I say ‘reduce spending’, I mean that some numbers will go down. I will not tell you which numbers, or by how much. The budget will be balanced, for certain values of ‘balanced’ that may not be meaningful outside the DC Beltway.
I am the Quaalude That Walks Like A Man. Vote for me and be comfortably numb.
Romney then said he didn’t mean to be “flip.” I want you to vote for me without feeling that you’ve voted against anything in particular. I am dispassionate. Trust me on this: the American people are going to need to vote for a bowl of egg drop soup if we want to recover this country.
“I apologize for being so offensive for saying that,” Romney added. “In the humor, there’s some truth there.” See what I did there? I’m going to apologize for a non-offense. Those on the Left with major self-esteem issues can know that the modern American tradition of bowing and scraping to the foe, while waving off the friend, will continue with me.
I own most of the vote on the right, with the glaring exception of that Bill Quick dude, but there is one in every crowd, no? Yes? Sorry, I didn’t mean to put you off by expressing anything so crass as an opinion.
“My party is consumed with the idea of getting federal spending down and creating economic growth and opportunity so we can balance our budget and stop putting these debts on you,” he said. See, while the party is consumed, you know that ‘My party’ is a dog whistle meaning: ‘I, on the other hand, will keep that gravy train chugging.’ I say ‘my party’ as an admission that there is a certain Belushi-esque ribaldry afoot on the Right. Those bitter cling-on conservatives wouldn’t know nuance if their old-ance blew up in their face. Get it? New-ance? I’m sorry I abused a French word like that. Incorrigible of me, wasn’t it?

Save the Land: Vote Bland

via Gateway Pundit

Update: linked by Don Surber


11 Responses to “I See What Romney Did There”

  1. StrangernFiction
    March 20th, 2012 @ 10:56 am

    “I think [Obama] is great.” — Matt Romney

  2. Taxpayer1234
    March 20th, 2012 @ 11:01 am

    “I am the Quaalude That Walks Like A Man.”  LOL! 

  3. Bob Belvedere
    March 20th, 2012 @ 11:24 am

    I miss Quaaludes – the real kind.  And I sure could use some right about now.

  4. Confutus
    March 20th, 2012 @ 12:48 pm

    If conservatives are going to keep telling each other that Romney doesn’t mean what he says, it doesn’t much matter what he says, does it?

  5. smitty
    March 20th, 2012 @ 1:21 pm

    What is truth?

  6. Pathfinder's wife
    March 20th, 2012 @ 1:29 pm

    Guess Ill repost it here (because I’m in a bad mood):

    How are Romney and the Kama Sutra alike?
    They both have 100 different positions on just one topic.

    *hey, I heard it yesterday and thought it was funny…and I’m in a bad mood, so anything to spread the wealth (because I’m socialist like that)

  7. Confutus
    March 20th, 2012 @ 1:48 pm

    I’m not sure I can claim to know, but “RomneyCare = ObamaCare” isn’t it.

  8. Daily scoreboard « Don Surber
    March 20th, 2012 @ 5:01 pm

    […] From Smitty at The Other McCain, on Mitt […]

  9. Quartermaster
    March 20th, 2012 @ 8:10 pm

    You’ll have to ask Pilate. He may have it figured out by now.

  10. Quartermaster
    March 20th, 2012 @ 8:11 pm

    You nailed it. He’s also waffled about repeal a number of times too. Romney is your normal RINO reptile that can’t be trusted to not bite you at the least convenient time.

  11. Quartermaster
    March 20th, 2012 @ 8:13 pm

    I have a friend in Lousyana that has found Barbancourt 5 Star to be an adequate replacement. You’d have to like Rhum however.

    Glenlivet or Jameson’s, if you prefer Whiskey, will also make you suitably numb. I have the feeling we will need all we can get after the fall election.