Obscure Ex-Starlet @SophiaBush Sticks Her #LadyParts Out on Twitter, With Hilariously Predictable Results

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Civility™ is getting so complicated, I just can’t keep up with all the new rules, in the same way I have trouble keeping track of which former starlets actually count as “celebrities.”

Last night, after I filed my American Spectator column about the debate — strategically, a win for Romney — I was kind of randomly browsing Twitter and saw Michelle Malkin having a war with someone named Sophia Bush:

It went on for a while, raising the obvious question: “Who is Sophia Bush?” I mean, Malkin’s a New York Times bestselling author, a syndicated columnist, New Media entrepreneur, Fox News contributor — a genuine somebody — so why is she arguing with this person I never heard of?

It began, evidently, when the actress read a satirical article mocking Ann Romney and Tweeted it out, apparently not recognizing that the stupid quotes attributed to Mrs. Romney were not anything the GOP candidate’s wife had actually ever said. Republican women then started arguing back at Ms. Bush on Twitter, causing her to get all huffy and defensive, finally issuing this intensely stupid retort:

Her idiocy earned Ms. Bush a post at Malkin’s Twitchy site, but she apparently failed to study the First Law of Holes, and began digging again Monday during the debate:

With that, I think, Sophia went from the ridiculous to the sublime. It’s like political haiku or something. Transcendent gibberish. And of course, Twitchy blew her up again.

Let us pause, readers, to contemplate the sequence: Sophia apparently cannot make any political statement without invoking her vagina, but if you object to argumentum ab vagina, this proves you’re some kind of insensitive misogynistic cretin. She just talks, talks, talks about her genitals, and we’re suppose to act like this is enlightened, sophisticated, praiseworthy, courageous.

Well, no, it’s weird and offensive.

Imagine you’re at the shopping mall and some woman you never met walks up to you and starts blabbering about her vagina.

Call 911, right? This woman’s either a crack whore or some kind of mental case, but either way, her behavior is so profoundly abnormal she must be a danger to herself or others.

Yet, thanks to Eve Ensler and the feminist movement, women like Sophia Bush have been persuaded that constantly talking about their vaginas in public is not only healthy and normal, but that anyone who is offended is a crazy right-wing extremist. The world has been turned upside down, so that the values are exactly reversed, and the crazy vagina-talkers think themselves fit to lecture others about “respect” and “civility.”

Although tempted to invoke my scrotum to settle the argument — “How dare you disrespect the First Amendment rights of my scrotum?” — this is unnecessary, as my point is simply this: The Left routinely defies all traditional norms and societal values, while reserving to themselves the right to be as indignant as a Victorian prude should anyone speak to them discourteously. It’s really just a crude totalitarian power-game, an expression of Marcusean radicalism, “liberating tolerance,” and it takes a strong mind to resist being lured into that Humpty-Dumpty alternative universe where words mean whatever the Left says they mean.

Well, to hell with the niceties, you see: Raw mockery is what they deserve, and I’ll make damned sure they get all they deserve. So I went right to work on Sophia Bush:

Let’s see here: Thirty years old, was queen of the 1999 Rose Bowl Parade, made her acting debut in 2002, best known for a cable TV show (One Tree Hill) you never heard of before, as well as a couple of movies John Tucker Must Die (2006) and The Hitcher (2007) you likewise never heard of before. Won a few “Teen Choice Awards” when she was, in fact, in her mid-20s.

Sophia can’t seem to keep a man. She was briefly married to her TV co-star Chad Michael Murray in 2005, but that didn’t last six months. She dated another co-star, James Lafferty, and then another, Austin Nichols, only to be returned to the reject pile each time. Basically, it looks like any male actor cast in One Tree Hill was contractually obligated to bang Sophia Bush for a while.

Is it cruel to mock her like this? Yes, purposefully so. Yet there’s nothing personal about it — heck, I never even heard of her until last night — and it’s not really political, either.

There are plenty of women every bit as liberal as Sophia Bush who don’t make themselves obnoxious by lashing out at Republicans, blabbering about their vaginas and acting as if they were courageous First Amendment heroes deserving of admiration and praise. If she’s going to get up in Michelle Malkin’s face with that kind of crude act, she’s practically handing us an engraved invitation to mock her politics, her miserable B-list career and her pathetic vagina, too.

Shut your pie-hole, woman, or I’ll start talking about my scrotum again.

43 comments

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  8. “Shut your pie-hole, woman, or I’ll start talking about my scrotum again.” — congratuiations, you win, and are to be recognized as “King of the Internet” for the rest of the day!

  19. This all reminds me of a story by my nephew.
    When he was in high school, one of the more flaming gay students got beat up. I figured that my nephew, being all progressive, would object to the guy being beat up.

    Instead he said …
    “The guy deserved to be beat up. Not because he was gay, but because he was a bragard. You know how you just hate guys who endlessly brag about their sexual conquests. This guy was a bragard, and that is why he deserved to be beaten up. Not because he happened to be gay.”

  21. Doesn’t it figure that the next Celebrity for Obama would be some hag with even less of a career than Longoria? The guy has a knack for attracting losers of all sexes and stripes, it seems, from Sophie the Bush to Tingles Matthews to Pyscho Sullivan.

    One day a good douche will wash the trash from the sidewalk.

  26. Remember the good old days when ankles were racey? When everybody says “flurfulsnark” all the time “flurfulsnark” stops being profane.

  30. I mind that the wife was a fan of One Tree Hill back in the day. I recall Sophia Bush as being the Hot One, as opposed to the Smart One, or the Artistic One, or the …

    And the guy who directed the new Atlas Shrugged movies played the recurring Evil Dad.

    Anyway, Hollywood Vaginas. Always toothy.

  31. Hollywood Women for Obama? Is that the successor to the “Hollywood Women’s Political Caucus” that essentially disbanded in embarrassment after supporting sexual predator Bill Clinton?

  34. I actually think she won a Nobel “Piece” Prize, inasmuch as she keeps referring to her roundheelparts.

  42. Some liberal casting-couch cushion named “Bush” is talking about her ladyparts – that’s too rich. I guess they’re now “open for discussion”, or we could just consider them another “echo chamber” for liberalism.

    “Shut your pie-hole, woman, or I’ll start talking about my scrotum again.” Now THAT is effin’ funny! An epic beatdown – RSM is truly the “King of the Internet”.

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