The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler


Posted on | December 1, 2012 | 10 Comments

An exclusive report from our Alabama bureau:

By Bert The Samoan Lawyer
In a stunning display of the ability to run out the clock, in a game punctuated by clock mismanagement on both sides, an Alabama team that displayed exactly the same weaknesses that it underlined in Sharpie, highlighted, and pointed to with those little 19th-century “pointing finger” logos in both the LSU and Texas A&M games, managed to hold on for a win that the Georgia Bulldogs would surely have procured had they simply stopped the clock with a spiked ball after their last first-down.
Alabama fans everywhere are praying that Notre Dame’s game-film viewing machines will break down, and that all its coaches were struck blind during Alabama’s last four games but, as Billy Joe Bob Stumpwater observed, “it’s ok if the Irish watched the Auburn game, just not the other three.”
The overwhelming fan sentiment, however, is “who cares; we’re going to the BCS and Georgia isn’t. And neither is Texas A&M,” as relayed by some blond girl in a houndstooth hat who followed up with, “I’m so drunk . . .”

Plans to provide exclusive blog coverage of the BCS Championship Game Jan. 7 in Miami are contingent on readers hitting the tip jar in a very serious way. Media credentials deadline is Dec. 14.




10 Responses to “ALABAMA 32, GEORGIA 28”

  1. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    December 1st, 2012 @ 9:22 pm

    Roll Tide. So will Alabama get the opportunity to teabag ND?

  2. MDmdong
    December 2nd, 2012 @ 12:48 am

    @smitty_one_each whaa whaa

  3. Doug Hgain
    December 2nd, 2012 @ 1:36 am

    Stacy sir, Georgia almost got y’all, but Mark Richt out coached himself, I mean who DOESN’T Spike the damn ball after that last first down. But, that is OK. Go pound the media darlings of Notre Dame, who are in for a beating of Florida over Ohio State in 2006 proportions! The Irish have no idea how big a step up they are taking. Giving Saban and Kirby Smart a month to get ready? It will get ugly!
    Then, next year my Gators will take over. So, enjoy being on top while it lasts.

  4. BruceC
    December 2nd, 2012 @ 2:06 am

    Congrats to the Tide for their SEC Championship and their BCS title game berth. It’s amazing how little separates all of these SEC teams. Just think if LSU hadn’t allowed that late touchdown, or if A&M had scored 10 more points for the season (4 against Florida and 6 against LSU) this season ending would look totally different.

  5. Bob Belvedere
    December 2nd, 2012 @ 2:41 am

    I gather something important happened and you are euphoric about this thing. Huzzah!, then, my dear man.

    BTW: Thank you for the HEADLINE link.

  6. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    December 2nd, 2012 @ 3:45 am
  7. McGehee
    December 2nd, 2012 @ 9:27 am

    Richt also used his last timeout before the 2:00 warning, which makes no sense. And apparently he doesn’t think his team leading the league in penalties hurts anything. Whereas I suspect fewer fouls by his players might have improved the team’s record, maybe even leaving Alabama as the underdog going in, rather than vice versa.

    I’ve tended to ignore Georgia because Mississippi State is my wife’s current alma mater, but for various reasons I was rooting for Those Other Bulldogs yesterday.

    Notre Dame has the title wrapped up, in my opinion.

  8. TC_LeatherPenguin
    December 2nd, 2012 @ 11:33 am

    Or as I call this showdown: “The Hicks vs. The Micks.”

  9. rosalie
    December 2nd, 2012 @ 2:21 pm

    I’m a Penn State fan but I used to root for Notre Dame, if they weren’t playing Penn State. When they invited O to speak at their commencement in 2008, that did it for me. My husband thinks they’re overrated and that Alabama will beat them.

  10. ThomasD
    December 2nd, 2012 @ 7:25 pm

    “I’m so drunk . . .”

    So, you’re saying Bert got himself some…