The Other McCain

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World’s Least Intimidating Criminal

Posted on | January 3, 2013 | 12 Comments

Say hello to Zachary Dalton Howard of Niceville, Florida. About 10 p.m. on Dec. 22, according to the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Department, 22-year-old Howard walked into a convenience store “dressed in a long black coat, hoodie and blue jeans. He told the clerk he had a firearm but never showed a weapon. He left without getting any money after the clerk showed him an empty cash register drawer.”

Howard then went to a nearby Winn-Dixie grocery store, where he called his mother for a ride home.

After he was arrested, Howard told deputies he never had a weapon. He has been charged with one count of robbery.

(Via Florida Sun-Sentinel and Huffington Post.)


12 Responses to “World’s Least Intimidating Criminal”

  1. Charles G Hill
    January 3rd, 2013 @ 11:35 pm

    Well, he was in Niceville.

  2. BruceC
    January 3rd, 2013 @ 11:40 pm

    He’s lucky the clerk didn’t drill him full of .45 slugs.

  3. joethefatman
    January 3rd, 2013 @ 11:42 pm

    Oh momma I’m in fear for my life

  4. robertstacymccain
    January 4th, 2013 @ 12:00 am

    I suspect he belonged to “Occupy Niceville.”

  5. John Scotus
    January 4th, 2013 @ 1:01 am

    He looks like he was smoking too much dope.

  6. Adjoran
    January 4th, 2013 @ 1:18 am

    So then, if he DID get the money, was the plan still to go to the Winn-Dixie and call Mom for a ride? Or just hail a cab?

  7. Steve Skubinna
    January 4th, 2013 @ 1:18 am

    They say this cat Zach is a bad mother…
    Hush yo’ mouth!
    I’m talkin’ ’bout Zach!

  8. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    January 4th, 2013 @ 1:43 am

    He looks stupid and mentally stunted. He has listless moron eyes.

  9. Bob Belvedere
    January 4th, 2013 @ 8:58 am

    The report doesn’t say whether he is, in fact, a registered Democrat.

  10. McGehee
    January 4th, 2013 @ 9:31 am

    Weapon or not, in many states even saying you have a weapon makes it “armed robbery” — and for good reason.

  11. McGehee
    January 4th, 2013 @ 9:32 am

    That’s how “Guess the Party” is played.

  12. Paul H. Lemmen
    January 4th, 2013 @ 11:19 am

    Alan Grayson’s newest intern …