The Other McCain

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Kim’s Ex-Girlfriend Suffers Heartache, Execution by Firing Squad; Neal Sedaka Could Not Be Reached for Comment

Posted on | August 29, 2013 | 40 Comments

Every guy who has ever been dumped by a girl knows the feeling. You mope around the house, thinking back on all the good times you had together, and then you start dreaming of the day you become the paranoid dictator of a totalitarian police state:

Kim Jong-un’s ex-girlfriend was among a dozen well-known North Korean performers who were executed by firing squad nine days ago, according to South Korean reports.
Hyon Song-wol, a singer, rumoured to be a former lover of the North Korean leader, is said to have been arrested on Aug 17 with 11 others for violating laws against pornography.
The reports in South Korea’s Chosun Ilbo newspaper indicate that Hyon, a singer with the Unhasu Orchestra, was among those arrested on August 17 for violating domestic laws on pornography.
All 12 were machine-gunned three days later, with other members of North Korea’s most famous pop groups and their immediate families forced to watch. The onlookers were then sent to prison camps, victims of the regime’s assumption of guilt by association, the reports stated.

Kinda harsh, Kim. Couldn’t you have just asked her to return your varsity jacket? Or maybe work out the stress by nuking somebody?

 

Category: North Korea

Comments

40 Responses to “Kim’s Ex-Girlfriend Suffers Heartache, Execution by Firing Squad; Neal Sedaka Could Not Be Reached for Comment”

  1. MrEvilMatt
    August 29th, 2013 @ 2:21 pm

    Kim’s Ex-Girlfriend Suffers Heartache, Execution by Firing Squad; Neal Sedaka Could Not Be Reached for Comment… http://t.co/K5kZT5Z05m

  2. Lockestep1776
    August 29th, 2013 @ 2:21 pm

    Kim’s Ex-Girlfriend Suffers Heartache, Execution by Firing Squad; Neal Sedaka Could Not Be Reached for Comment… http://t.co/oclH8FR8ZN

  3. CHideout
    August 29th, 2013 @ 2:21 pm

    Kim’s Ex-Girlfriend Suffers Heartache, Execution by Firing Squad; Neal Sedaka Could Not Be Reached for Comment… http://t.co/Y2AA1d5KgL

  4. Citzcom
    August 29th, 2013 @ 2:21 pm

    Kim’s Ex-Girlfriend Suffers Heartache, Execution by Firing Squad; Neal Sedaka Could Not Be Reached for Comment… http://t.co/7rDQmyfx22

  5. jwbrown1969
    August 29th, 2013 @ 2:21 pm

    Kim’s Ex-Girlfriend Suffers Heartache, Execution by Firing Squad; Neal Sedaka Could Not Be Reached for Comment… http://t.co/EePHgv5No6

  6. rsmccain
    August 29th, 2013 @ 2:26 pm

    Neal Sedaka Could Not Be Reached for Comment http://t.co/VRyOG9PzLD @MarkSKrikorian

  7. DarylT
    August 29th, 2013 @ 2:26 pm

    @smitty_one_each I felt bad because I stopped taking my ex’s calls.

  8. rsmccain
    August 29th, 2013 @ 2:27 pm

    RT @Citzcom: Kim’s Ex-Girlfriend Suffers Heartache, Execution by Firing Squad; Neal Sedaka Could Not Be Reached for Comment… http://t.co/…

  9. rsmccain
    August 29th, 2013 @ 2:28 pm

    RT @CHideout: Kim’s Ex-Girlfriend Suffers Heartache, Execution by Firing Squad; Neal Sedaka Could Not Be Reached for Comment… http://t.co…

  10. jimantle
    August 29th, 2013 @ 2:28 pm

    RT @CHideout: Kim’s Ex-Girlfriend Suffers Heartache, Execution by Firing Squad; Neal Sedaka Could Not Be Reached for Comment… http://t.co…

  11. rsmccain
    August 29th, 2013 @ 2:33 pm

    The phrase “North Korea’s most famous pop groups” kind of jumps out at you, doesn’t it? http://t.co/VRyOG9PzLD @MWinTexas @MarkSKrikorian

  12. MarkSKrikorian
    August 29th, 2013 @ 2:35 pm

    RT @rsmccain: The phrase “North Korea’s most famous pop groups” kind of jumps out at you, doesn’t it? http://t.co/VRyOG9PzLD @MWinTexas @Ma…

  13. jenny2
    August 29th, 2013 @ 2:39 pm

    Could have just ‘unfriended’ her.

  14. Quartermaster
    August 29th, 2013 @ 2:42 pm

    He did! Boy, did he!

  15. Quartermaster
    August 29th, 2013 @ 2:43 pm

    To the Stalinists that ran the Soviet Union the Bible was porn. When you’re an absolute monarch, porn is whatever you say it is.

  16. Bradoplata
    August 29th, 2013 @ 2:45 pm

    couple of years ago he mortared an army officer to death.

  17. rsmccain
    August 29th, 2013 @ 2:52 pm

    Commenter 1: “He could have just ‘unfriended’ her.” Commenter 2: “He did! Boy, did he!” http://t.co/VRyOG9PzLD #tcot

  18. rsmccain
    August 29th, 2013 @ 2:58 pm

    @ramadiroach “North Korean Idol,” where the losers REALLY lose! http://t.co/VRyOG9PzLD @MWinTexas @MarkSKrikorian

  19. JeffS
    August 29th, 2013 @ 3:15 pm

    The next time Dennis Rodman heads off to party with Kim Jong-un and the Norks, he may want to double check his luggage for previously forgotten pornography.

    Just in case. IYKWIMAITTYD.

  20. ThePaganTemple
    August 29th, 2013 @ 3:18 pm

    What a dick.

  21. Kim Jong Un’s Former Girlfriend Executed By Firing Squad | The Lonely Conservative
    August 29th, 2013 @ 3:47 pm

    […] H/T The Other McCain […]

  22. Evi L. Bloggerlady
    August 29th, 2013 @ 4:14 pm

    http://batshitcrazynews.com/2013/08/miley-cyrus-should-probably-stay-out-of-north-korea/ I recommend Miley Cyrus stay out of NoKo!

  23. Virginia SoCon
    August 29th, 2013 @ 4:26 pm

    What I love is some of her song-titles listed on WeaselZippers. Apparently her popularity peaked in 2005 with “Excellent Horse-Like Lady.” Apparently they like Sarah Jessica Parker in Nork-land.

  24. rmnixondeceased
    August 29th, 2013 @ 4:36 pm

    Too true. At least conservatives don’t execute a girlfriend who has become troublesome (usually we just marry them).
    I think this will give the progressive assclowns an excuse to bust a cap in their baby-mommas ass …

  25. RS
    August 29th, 2013 @ 4:55 pm

    She probably said the wrong thing to the wrong group of people. Presto! Firing squad. Under no circumstances can the Kim family be seen as less than divine.

  26. Dianna Deeley
    August 29th, 2013 @ 6:06 pm

    Evidently, wifey was jealous.

    It’s one way to ensure domestic tranquility, I guess: “Oh, honey, she won’t ever be a problem again!”

    *Shudder*

  27. thatMrGguy
    August 29th, 2013 @ 6:30 pm

    Kim’s Ex-Girlfriend Suffers Heartache, Execution by Firing Squad; Neal Sedaka Could Not Be Reached for Comment http://t.co/yc8V9Jg9il

  28. M. Thompson
    August 29th, 2013 @ 6:44 pm

    Ladies, this is an excellent reminder not to get anywhere near psychotic dictatorships.

  29. K-Bob
    August 29th, 2013 @ 7:02 pm

    https://twitter.com/K_Bob/status/373218579413364736/photo/1

  30. rsmccain
    August 29th, 2013 @ 7:45 pm

    @ali Also, permit me to suggest a musical interlude by Neal Sedaka http://t.co/VRyOG9PzLD

  31. Steve Skubinna
    August 29th, 2013 @ 7:46 pm

    Maybe the horse thing is a reference to that weird galloping dance from Gangnam Style?

    Yeah, PSY’s artistic effort postdates that, but who knows, maybe that step was imported from above the 38th Parallel? You know how all the young kids love them some dictatorships. So long as they’re Communist dictatorships, I mean.

  32. BobBelvedere
    August 29th, 2013 @ 7:54 pm

    RT @thatMrGguy: Kim’s Ex-Girlfriend Suffers Heartache, Execution by Firing Squad; Neal Sedaka Could Not Be Reached for Comment http://t.co/…

  33. rsmccain
    August 29th, 2013 @ 8:09 pm

    RT @MrEvilMatt: Kim’s Ex-Girlfriend Suffers Heartache, Execution by Firing Squad; Neal Sedaka Could Not Be Reached for Comment… http://t.…

  34. instapundit
    August 29th, 2013 @ 8:12 pm

    RT @MrEvilMatt: Kim’s Ex-Girlfriend Suffers Heartache, Execution by Firing Squad; Neal Sedaka Could Not Be Reached for Comment… http://t.…

  35. MadPatsFan1954
    August 29th, 2013 @ 9:12 pm

    RT @MrEvilMatt: Kim’s Ex-Girlfriend Suffers Heartache, Execution by Firing Squad; Neal Sedaka Could Not Be Reached for Comment… http://t.…

  36. Bob Belvedere
    August 29th, 2013 @ 9:26 pm

    No! No! Let her go…

  37. rmnixondeceased
    August 29th, 2013 @ 9:27 pm

    Heh. Pay-per-view here we come …

  38. Bob Belvedere
    August 29th, 2013 @ 9:28 pm

    Haw.

  39. datechguy
    August 29th, 2013 @ 11:03 pm

    words you will never hear from Kim’s next squeeze: “Not tonight, I have a headache”

  40. Friday: Bad Girlfriends Edition | Regular Right Guy
    August 30th, 2013 @ 4:51 pm

    […] Kim’s Ex-Girlfriend Suffers Heartache, Execution by Firing Squad; Neal Sedaka Could Not Be Reach… […]