The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

Internet Douchebag Patrol

Posted on | April 2, 2014 | 113 Comments

Look, it’s not as if there were a shortage of actual news for me to blog about today. For example, my friend Shaun McCutcheon won a landmark Supreme Court decision today, and there’s all kinds of commentary about McCutcheon v. FEC.

Here is a guy from Alabama who has bought me beers whose name is forever destined to be cited as a legal precedent and yet, I feel myself constrained merely to make brief notice of the decision, because the Internet is swarming with douchebags today.

I’m talking about you, Gregory Bernstein of Vanderbilt University.

Do I need some overprivileged college freshman to lecture me about “rape culture”? No, I most certainly do not. I’ll quote your ridiculous Huffington Post sermonette only briefly:

Rape culture is a culture in which we allow responsibility for sexual violence to be shifted from the rapist to the victim. Rape culture is a culture in which our first reaction upon learning about an alleged assault is to doubt victims, to ask what they were wearing, or what they were drinking. Rape culture is a culture in which myths and misconceptions about rape are allowed to be taught as truth.

Two words for you, Greg: Individual responsibility.

Cultures don’t rape people. Rapists rape people. What is objectionable about these endless “rape culture” lectures is that they represent an effort to demonize all men, to create a collective responsibility for crimes committed by individuals. Or, allegedly committed, as the circumstances in some cases are strongly disputed.

“Reasonable doubt” was all the rage after O.J. Simpson’s wife and her boyfriend got their throats cut, but let two drunk college kids get into an argument about whether she was sober enough to consent to sex last night, and anyone who mentions “reasonable doubt” is condemned as a slut-shaming, victim-blaming misogynist.

Stop preaching, Greg, as if we were ignorant fools in need of your enlightenment. Everybody is against rape, except rapists.

The problem, which is rampant on university campuses, is that there is a Hook-Up Culture, a Friends With Benefits Culture, and a Let’s Chug Vodka Until We’re Nearly Comatose Culture, all of which lead to situations in which “consent” is a he-said/she-said dispute, where evidence is ambiguous or non-existent, and where some people want us to disregard all due process protections for the accused.

But here, Greg, let me quote you briefly once more:

It’s time for individuals as well as colleges and universities to re-teach what it means to have consent. Consent is active, continuous, and given freely. Consent requires sobriety. Consent can be withdrawn. Consent to one sexual act is not consent to all sexual acts. “No” doesn’t mean “convince me.”

Restraining my urge to offer a sarcastic reply I’m sure I would regret, let me say this: You’re attempting to repeal human nature.

Such is the feminist “rape culture” project in its pure essence. As I’ve said before, the argument boils down to, “Shut up, because rape.”

All men must submit to feminist re-education, so angry lesbians can teach them to be as meek and harmless as geriatric eunuchs.

“Do I have your permission to get an erection, Amanda?”

Here’s some advice for college girls: If you are reasonably attractive and in the proximity of vigorous, manly, robust young fellows, be aware that such fellows are all savage sex-crazed animals who dream of passionately thrusting their rigid manhood deep inside you.

On the other hand, if the guys around you are pathetic Vanderbilt wimps like Greg Bernstein, you’re safe from all that.

Now, run along like a nice boy, Greg. We certainly wouldn’t want you to miss your next Women and Gender Studies class.



113 Responses to “Internet Douchebag Patrol”

  1. Bob Belvedere
    April 3rd, 2014 @ 6:58 pm

    Why do you hate us, Adj? WHY?

  2. JeffS
    April 3rd, 2014 @ 6:59 pm

    Tut tut, Anamika, tut tut!

    I’m sure both of them spoke nothing but the truth, eh?

    Tut tut, Anamika! You didn’t listen to me earlier! Tut tut!

  3. Bob Belvedere
    April 3rd, 2014 @ 7:00 pm

    I think it’s actually a combination of a Sy-Fy movie and Lifetime movie.

    April 3rd, 2014 @ 7:00 pm

    quite so!

  5. JeffS
    April 3rd, 2014 @ 7:43 pm

    Which browser did you pick up, Richard? Back to Internet Explorer?

  6. richard mcenroe
    April 3rd, 2014 @ 8:51 pm

    I went to Chrome for now, but I’m going to look around. There are a lot of options for Windows.

    I’m curiously to see how many gays will abandon their faaaabulous Apply products now, though, to switch to Mozilla since they crawled so nicely.

  7. richard mcenroe
    April 3rd, 2014 @ 9:06 pm

    Here’s another guy’s recommendation:

  8. Robert Steed
    April 4th, 2014 @ 12:01 am

    “Cultures don’t rape people. Rapists rape people.” Brilliant article and well said!

  9. JeffS
    April 4th, 2014 @ 12:49 am

    Thanks — I’m looking at Chrome or Tor.

  10. bet0001970
    April 4th, 2014 @ 7:42 am

    Heh, heh.

  11. bet0001970
    April 4th, 2014 @ 7:52 am

    I am sooo jonesing for this movie. It reminds me of the Firefly/Serenity series. And Gunn is directing.

  12. In which R.S. McCain takes down the “rape culture” argument
    April 4th, 2014 @ 8:17 am

    […] It’s a fun read. […]

  13. DunderheadScott
    April 4th, 2014 @ 9:24 am

    Oh Greg, acting like a vapid, pseudo-intellectual, subservient, fanboy man-feminist still isn’t going to get you laid. You just know this guy would give his left nut just to touch a boobie at some point in his life.