‘She Passed Out in a Bedroom . . . She Wasn’t Strong Enough to Push Him Away’

Posted on | May 14, 2014 | 59 Comments

When @Belle_Knox — porn alias of Miriam Weeks, the Duke University freshman Women’s Studies major — began telling her story, everyone with an interest in the field of abnormal psychology took notice.

Her explanation of why she was doing what she was doing simply didn’t add up. We were asked to believe that financial desperation had driven Weeks to her career as a “teen porn” starlet, yet she was the daughter of an affluent Spokane physician who had attended a prestigious prep school and, Weeks said, she had turned down a full scholarship to Vanderbilt in order to attend Duke. And there were clear indications that it wasn’t really all about the money. Miriam Weeks is a “cutter,” with visible scars that show her history of self-harm: “Apparently her ex-boyfriend that cheated on her told her she was fat so she carved the word into her thigh.” Furthermore, she said she started watching porn at 12 and — maybe I’m naive and maybe times have changed — but sixth-grade girls diddling themselves to porn videos seems rather weird, eh?

“I think that when people condemn pornography, they’re really just following this societal construct of what sex is, based on religion, based on patriarchy, and so many societal forces. . . .
“The first porn I ever watched was — it was just like an orgy of girls getting fingered . . . and I remember how much it aroused me. . . .
“I like what I like. But I do really like rough sex and stuff. And I like lesbian porn. . . .
“The only porn I watch is blowjob porn. It is the only thing I can get off to, is watching a girl get her face fucked . . . That’s hot. I can’t watch normal sex and get off to it. I have to watch blowjob porn. I don’t know why.”
— Miriam Weeks (“Belle Knox”)

To put it as bluntly as possible: Miriam Weeks is a perverted freak.

Her claims that she started doing porn because of financial desperation are obviously a rationalization of her perverse appetites, her preference for sado-masochistic degradation and her own damaged sexuality, which have rendered her, at the age of 19, incapable of deriving erotic satisfaction from “normal sex.” Her scapegoating of “religion . . . patriarchy, and so many societal forces” is likewise a rationalization, a sort of sour-grapes rejection of those forces she blames for her sense of shame at her ruined condition.

“I like what I like,” Weeks says, unable to escape the subjectivity of her experience to wonder how she learned to like it. This is where psychological therapy would be more helpful than her jargon-laden feminist rhetoric about “societal forces.” Yet she insists that degrading herself on video in exhibitionistic re-enactments — is her career a case of porn imitating life, or life imitating porn? — is an “empowering” expression of her “sexual autonomy.”

Now an article in Rolling Stone offers still more insight into her behavior:

Weeks knows that the prevailing narrative for women who enter porn is that they’re crazy, damaged or have daddy issues; and so she hesitates to tell me the parts of her story that seem most to fit that narrative. It’s not until dinner at a Panera Bread close to campus that, picking nervously at a cup of soup, she reveals that she was raped at a house party in high school. She’d had so much to drink that she passed out in a bedroom, waking when a guy she’d seen eyeing her earlier opened the door. She wasn’t strong enough to push him away. The experience, and her friends’ responses to it — blaming her for being slutty and careless, begging her to not press charges because they’d all been underage and drinking — are what got Weeks interested in women’s rights to begin with. And the vast difference in her mind between what it felt like to be raped and the consensual sex she has on camera has made her defense of the porn industry come more naturally.

“Paging Dr. Freud! Dr. Sigmund Freud, please call your office!”

Freudianism is dead, thank God, but there are some cases where certain psychoanalytic concepts might seem to offer explanations for why people do what they do. We must not “blame the victim,” however, and I will therefore leave the psychology majors to reach their own conclusions about the self-destructive behavior of Ms. Weeks.

Nevertheless, it is safe to say, she hates herself.

Her ego and sense of personal identity are profoundly damaged, and her narcissistic exhibitions — her craving for admiration — are an acting-out of her own internal drama, where her flawed self is being constantly chastised by the frightening voice of shame. She seeks to silence the voices in her heed, to drown out the shouted denunciations of herself that have tortured her since childhood, through performances (her entire life is a narcissistic performance, where others are always spectators) by which she seeks to elicit admiration that negates, or at least counterbalances, the voice of shame inside her head.

The narcissist cannot understand herself because her selfish egocentric perspective traps her in subjectivity, so that her mind has no access to an objective view of herself or others. However, Miriam Weeks is a high-functioning borderline case, her extreme intelligence and privileged social position (her affluent background and elite education) providing her with resources that permit her to cope with her identity crisis, even if she cannot accurately the sources of her psychosexual problems.

Her verbal fluency and familiarity with jargon enable her to rationalize and justify her deviant behaviors: She is “empowering” herself and exercising her “sexual autonomy,” blahblahblah, and resents those who try to treat her as a “rescue project,” as someone who needs to be saved from herself. The self she has created through narcissistic performance — her public identity, her persona — must be defended from criticism, as the validation of her creation (her inauthentic impersonation of a self she wishes to be) is necessary to her attempted self-deception.

All her relationships are dysfunctional as a result of her defective personality. Miriam Weeks has no true friends, because deception is the fundamental basis of the narcissist’s life. No one can ever trust her to tell the whole truth, and her egocentric selfishness makes it difficult for anyone to rely on her to keep any promise she makes.

Her sense of friendlessness is related to her mood disorders. She has said she has suffered from depression, and she exhibits the classic bipolar tendency when, in a hypomanic phase, she takes extravagant risks and makes grandiose pronouncements. Her seemingly impulsive decision to become a porn performer — she says it was a sudden whim, although you can never trust a narcissist to tell the truth about anything — is exactly the sort of overconfident bad judgment that is characteristic of the bipolar personality’s manic mood.

If Miriam Weeks has previously been treated with psychiatric drugs, it may be that she is quite literally “off her meds” now, so that her insane behaviors are emerging symptoms of a mental disorder that her medication was supposed to suppress. It is also possible, especially in light of what she says about her binge-drinking experiences as a teenager, that Miriam Weeks has substance abuse issues and is attempting to “self-medicate” with a varying mixture of stimulants (methamphetamine, cocaine, coffee) and depressants (alcohol, tranquilizers, pain pills).

If this is the case — and we are simply hypothesizing a possibility, on the basis of available evidence and known experience of similar cases — then Miriam Weeks is dangerously out of control. Her high intelligence and elite academic background make it easier for her to conceal her underlying problems and to rationalize his deviant behavior. Her statements in interviews are accepted as justifications by sympathetic journalists and readers.

However, if Miriam Weeks is in fact suffering from a serious mental disorder, if her bizarre behaviors are in fact psychiatric symptoms, and especially if she is secretly engaged in “self-medicating” substance abuse, she is in real danger, and intervention will eventually be required. Sooner or later, the manic phase of bipolar disorder ends in the shattering “crash” of depression. Anyone who has seen the results of “self-medicating” substance abuse knows such “treatment” is as dangerous as the untreated craziness the patient is trying to cure. Too often, the final cure is death — as in the case of celebrities like John Belushi.

All of this is speculative amateur psychology, of course, but trust me: I know what crazy looks like, and “Belle Knox” is crazy.

But is Miriam Weeks/”Belle Knox” a feminist role model? Huffington Post columnist Jess Carbino doesn’t think so:

Due to their privileged social positions and flawed reasoning, Knox’s and [virginity auctioneer Elizabeth] Raine’s efforts to use sex work as a platform against women’s inequality are rather perpetuating women’s inequality.

You can read the whole thing. I think Miriam Weeks is a perfect feminist role model: “Crazy” is a good synonym for “feminist.”

UPDATE: The Kook Caucus and the Pervert Lobby.

Category: Education, Feminism, Sex

Comments

59 Responses to “‘She Passed Out in a Bedroom . . . She Wasn’t Strong Enough to Push Him Away’”

Political Rift » ‘She Passed Out in a Bedroom . . . She Wasn’t Strong Enough to Push Him Away’
May 14th, 2014 @ 4:15 pm

[…] Robert Stacy McCain When @Belle_Knox — porn alias of Miriam Weeks, the Duke University freshman Women’s Studies […]
Quartermaster
May 14th, 2014 @ 4:29 pm

She’s in the wrong major. She should be in Psychology so she can figure out what’s wrong with her.
Dana
May 14th, 2014 @ 4:33 pm

Are you kidding? The psychologists never see anything wrong with themselves!
Cactus Ed
May 14th, 2014 @ 4:33 pm

Who says feminism is deranged?
Dana
May 14th, 2014 @ 4:37 pm

A question concerning prose and style for our esteemed host: you continually refer to Miss Weeks as “Miriam Weeks,” throughout the text, rather than what any journalistic stylebook would suggest for subsequent mentions, either “Miss Weeks” or simply “Weeks.” (I do not use any stylebook which would suggest the “honorific” “Ms.” That is an abomination unto the Lord.) The prose seems awkward to me as well; so, what is your purpose?
M. Thompson
May 14th, 2014 @ 4:38 pm

Well, it’s almost a self demonstrating article.
Mm
May 14th, 2014 @ 4:43 pm

Typo: “head,” not “heed.”
Mm
May 14th, 2014 @ 4:46 pm

“[Y]ou can never trust a narcissist to tell the truth about anything.” So, why do you believe her rape story?
CrustyB
May 14th, 2014 @ 5:17 pm

I am human toilet bowl, hear me roar…
RKae
May 14th, 2014 @ 5:41 pm

Has the world gotten saner since the invention of psychology?
Wombat_socho
May 14th, 2014 @ 6:40 pm

The old phrase “More to be pitied than censured” comes to mind.
Paul H. Lemmen
May 14th, 2014 @ 6:43 pm

And once your insurance runs out, you’re cured!
Julie Pascal
May 14th, 2014 @ 6:44 pm

It occurs to me that she’s not old enough for any statute of limitations to be over.
Dana
May 14th, 2014 @ 6:54 pm

It comes to mind, perhaps, but I reject it nevertheless. If there was ever a”check your privilege” case, the lovely Miss Weeks is it. She comes from a very well-to-do family, and if they aren’t multi-milionaires, they’re still better off than 95+% of Americans. She was pretty, her parents spent a lot of money to send her to private schools, and she really lacked for nothing.

If she was raped at a party in which she got stinking drunk and passed out, that’s because she kept drinking. She didn’t have the strength to push him away, because she disabled herself! That doesn’t make the rapist any less of a rapist, but it does mean contributory negligence, at the least.

There are a heck of a lot of kids who grow up poor, with absent fathers and mothers struggling to support their kids; for them, I have pity.
Phil_McG
May 14th, 2014 @ 6:55 pm

So her story this week is she was raped?

Seems legit.

The experience, and her friends’ responses to it — blaming her for being slutty and careless, begging her to not press charges because they’d all been underage and drinking

Maybe I’m an awful, awful man – I denounce myself -but this all sounds very unsurprisingly impossible to prove or disprove, and yet so useful to the young lady’s apparent desire to ward off criticism while casting herself as a victim/survivor/empowered feminist.

How dare you criticise the young skank? She’s a RAPE VICTIM. Allegedly. Just don’t ask for any corroborating details. Or police report. Or witnesses. Nah, there were tons of witnesses, but every single one of them was more worried about being grounded for teenage drinking than they were about someone they knew being raped in their vicinity. Seriously – not one of them thought to tell an adult. Nope.

And don’t ask her to name the rapist now! Or even provide any names that would lead the police to the rapist. Even though she won’t get into any trouble for it, and neither would her fellow party guests have any reason to keep quiet any longer. No! She can’t name the rapist for… reasons. Best to just let him remain free to rape again. I’m sure that’s the empowered feminist thing to do. Feminists hate it when rapists face justice.

Perhaps this story is true though. Even the boy who cried wolf eventually saw a wolf. And it’s not as if anybody at Duke ever lied about being raped. Right?
Dana
May 14th, 2014 @ 6:59 pm

I can accept the story that she was raped, but I can’t ignore the contributory negligence.
Unix-Jedi
May 14th, 2014 @ 7:03 pm

To her, it’s her origin story, and if you’re trying to figure out why she’s ticking the way she is, you can accept it as true – she almost certainly believes it so at this point – at least for the sake of the discussion.
Unix-Jedi
May 14th, 2014 @ 7:05 pm

Don’t forget, the original line was she needed money for school. (Until it turns out that wasn’t true.)
Bob Belvedere
May 14th, 2014 @ 7:36 pm

It’s called ‘Stacy’s Style’, and I think it works for him quite well.
Phil_McG
May 14th, 2014 @ 7:40 pm

Dana, anything’s possible, but I’m struggling to believe her latest story. She has a history of telling self-serving shameless lies, and this doesn’t seem out of place with that history.

The timing of this revelation, the unverifiable nature of the story, the feminist hot buttons this tale presses (#shaming #victimblaming #rapeculture) all seem remarkably… manufactured is the word that comes to mind.

If she was raped, I don’t blame her one bit for being drunk at a party. Kids get drunk. It happens. It’s not an invitation to molestation.

But if it did happen, why isn’t she going to the police? Even if she didn’t know the name of her attacker, someone who was at that party will know. It wasn’t so long ago that he’d be difficult to trace.

So we’re left with two possibilities: either a proven liar is lying again, or a self-described feminist is deliberately shielding a rapist from the law, even though he’s in no position to frighten her off pursuing justice. (She wasn’t afraid to tell this story to the press after all)

I’m not sure which possibility makes her a worse human being. I do know which one seems more likely to be the truth, and it isn’t Mystery Rapist/High School conspiracy.
Atari 2600
May 14th, 2014 @ 7:46 pm

And why do porn stars bullshit?
Evi L. Bloggerlady
May 14th, 2014 @ 7:47 pm

Sometimes a “cigar” is really a high school punk rapist taking advantage of a drunk girl. That does not explain the early porn years of Ms. Weeks. I suspect there is way more to her psycho drama than some high school boy taking advantage of her at a party.
Daniel O'Brien
May 14th, 2014 @ 8:21 pm

Lots of “typos” in this piece. Missing words. Gender shift.
RS
May 14th, 2014 @ 8:23 pm

The truly sad thing is, while there is no question that Weeks is seriously disturbed and in need of intense professional help, she will not get it because too many people were more interested in validating her and promoting her as a new icon for whatever pet Progressive/Leftist cause they espouse, whether that’s Modern Feminism, Death of Religion, Destruction of Conservative Morals, or whatever. It is always and only about the Narrative and Progressives are happy to sacrifice individuals on the Narrative’s altar with abandon.

Yet those of us who noted problems with the story early and expressed concern that this young woman was further destroying her life, were denounced as troglodytes who could bear the coming of “modern” morality and female independence and “empowerment” exemplified by a young woman faking BDSM scenes on film for the enjoyment of perverts. Indeed, these pages had their share of such freethinkers, whether they were Leftists or “libertarian libertines.” Where are they now, now that new revelations crop up demonstrating that Miss Weeks is truly a basket case? Know this: If Miss Weeks does finally get the help she needs, it will be from those who were first derided as “judgmental Christianists” for expressing horror at her circumstances. It is only Christians, who have an understanding of Grace, Forgiveness, Repentance and New Life, who can truly extend to her the love and concern she desperately needs and seeks, even if she does not now acknowledge it.
Anamika
May 14th, 2014 @ 8:33 pm

So her story this week is she was raped?

That was from a story published on April 23rd. Wonder what made anti-porn, Belle Knox fixated RSM wait three weeks before finally responding to the Rolling Stones article.

Here’s her latest though:
https://twitter.com/belle_knox/status/464513298416041984
K-Bob
May 14th, 2014 @ 8:47 pm

I’m guessing it’s just the usual thing. Southerners are more expecting of proper forms of address, so to avoid them on purpose bears meaning of its own.

The full explanation is that “Mr.”, “Miss”, “Madame”, and all the other forms of formal address are honorifics. Polite society uses them not simply to honor certain people, but to purposely dishonor those of whom have demonstrated they should not be honored, or to purposely provoke those who would normally be so honored.

This is why I stopped using barack’s office, and have also avoided use of the usual honorifics, including capitalization of his first name, as well as refusing to use his last name.

I generally avoid making up “nicknames” for public figures. I usually refer to political opponents with their full titles and due honorifics. (For example, to my knowledge, I’ve never written about John Kerry without using the full version, “Senator John Kerry” — or now, I’d use “Secretary John Kerry”.)

barack deserves none of them, and has fully earned the non-use thereof. I’d say Miriam Weeks at least deserves to have her name capitalized properly, but that’s about it.
K-Bob
May 14th, 2014 @ 8:49 pm

Uncle, cousin, neighbor, or Mom’s boyfriend. I’d hate to think her dad did this to her, but unfortunately, that’s usually the first suspect.
K-Bob
May 14th, 2014 @ 8:49 pm

We now have more excuses for screwed up people than ever before. #Progress
Dennis M.
May 14th, 2014 @ 8:54 pm

I can’t watch normal sex and get off to it. I have to watch blowjob porn. I don’t know why.”

For the same reason any substance abuse user increases the dosage – because it get’s harder & harder to reach the High.
Dana
May 14th, 2014 @ 9:14 pm

I wouldn’t bet more than a case of Mountain Dew on whether she was or was not raped, but I don’t have much of a problem believing it. But, that’s the problem with being a liar: people tend to disbelieve what you say, even when you are telling the truth.

If she was raped, I don’t blame her one bit for being drunk at a party. Kids get drunk. It happens. It’s not an invitation to molestation.

It may not be an invitation, but rendering yourself helpless is your own fault, and I certainly do blame her, and anyone else, who get themselves so stinking drunk that they are helpless. Unless she is contending that other people forced alcohol down her throat, then she drank it all herself. At her size, it probably didn’t take much.
Dana
May 14th, 2014 @ 9:18 pm

Mr McG wrote:

So we’re left with two possibilities: either a proven liar is lying again, or a self-described feminist is deliberately shielding a rapist from the law, even though he’s in no position to frighten her off pursuing justice. (She wasn’t afraid to tell this story to the press after all)

There is another possibility, that being that she realizes that there was no way that the rapist could ever be convicted;it would be he said/she said, and she has admitted to having been so intoxicate that she passed out, then awoke when he opened the door. If she was that intoxicated — and that young — she couldn’t have consented but she also couldn’t have proved that anything happened, unless there were witnesses.
Kirby McCain
May 14th, 2014 @ 9:20 pm

Patient says my back hurts. The doctor doesn’t know if the patient’s back hurts only that the patient says it does. There are other reasons the patient may say his back hurts such as Münchausen syndrome. So whether or not Weeks was raped I cannot know all I do know is that she says she was raped. I also am fairly sure because of the scars that she’s a cutter. With everything else I’m convinced that there is a damaged personality at work here. While there is reason to suspect the latest revelation by the teen porn star that doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen. So, I was raped and wtf I might as well do porn? To me, pornography would seem the least likely of career choices for a rape victim. I can more easily see a sex worker claiming to be raped or molested as a means of escaping the judgements of society for their bad behavior. Honesty isn’t Miriam’s strong suit.
DeadMessenger
May 14th, 2014 @ 10:09 pm

Probably she was raised in a liberal manner by liberal parents, receiving the requisite elite liberal education. Therefore, she never learned critical thinking skills, the difference between intellect and intellectualism, and was taught that everything was about her and how she feels. She also wasn’t given moral training, so that she doesn’t know the difference between good and evil, right and wrong or art and “Piss Christ.” The difference between liberalism and the real world might cause considerable unresolved cognitive dissonance in an intelligent young girl, so that, to use a technical term, she finally “flipped out.” But then, what do I know? I only minored in Psychology.
joethefatman
May 14th, 2014 @ 10:35 pm

Bingo
Mm
May 14th, 2014 @ 10:50 pm

Good point!
Mm
May 14th, 2014 @ 10:55 pm

Gee, maybe it’s because he’s a defendant in two lawsuits and has more pressing things on his plate rather than blogging about things on a schedule that meets your requirements?
Mm
May 14th, 2014 @ 10:56 pm

Press accounts indicate that the family are all church-attending Catholics, and the parents sent all three of their kids to parochial school and took them regularly to church.
Evi L. Bloggerlady
May 14th, 2014 @ 11:20 pm

They say her father is a good man. I do not know. They always suspect the dad, but it could be anyone.
bridget
May 14th, 2014 @ 11:26 pm

My thoughts exactly. What happened to her at age 16 does not explain what she started doing four years prior.
CPAguy
May 14th, 2014 @ 11:29 pm

Not that I necessarily disagree with RSM’s post, but this is the meanest blog posting I’ve ever seen.

Wow, I hope she never reads it, because if any of it is accurate, it would devastate her (or she would ignore and call RSM a “hater”).
DeadMessenger
May 14th, 2014 @ 11:44 pm

Maybe she’s possessed then?
The Kook Caucus and the Pervert Lobby : The Other McCain
May 14th, 2014 @ 11:58 pm

[…] The earlier post about @Belle_Knox (Miriam Weeks) elicited an e-mail response from my old college buddy Bert the Samoan Lawyer, who suggests that Ms. Weeks is in need of prayer. […]
You don’t need Boko Haram to ruin a young girl’s life: So how do you explain what happened to Miriam Weeks? | Batshit Crazy News
May 15th, 2014 @ 12:35 am

[…] Miriam Weeks: Passed out in the bed room (this is just a small part of the […]
robertstacymccain
May 15th, 2014 @ 1:07 am

It is not “mean” to tell people the truth about themselves.

To tell a heroin addict that he is a hopeless junkie who is likely to die if he keeps chasing the fix — are we engaged in “hate” if we tell him this?

The Cult of Self-Esteem, which believes that the most important thing is to think well of ourselves, without regard to whether we have done anything to deserve this self-admiration, has fostered a pervasive narcissism among young people who have never learned to cope with criticism, but who expect to praised as Special Snowflakes, no matter what they do.
robertstacymccain
May 15th, 2014 @ 1:27 am

Exactly. Habitual consumption of porn creates new appetites in the consumer who, seeking greater thrills, becomes interested in types of perversion toward which he never felt any erotic attraction prior to his porn consumption. And in a situations where children have access to online porn — which is how we assume Miriam Weeks accessed it at age 12 — their erotic imaginations may be filled with all manner of weird fetishes and paraphilias before they are old enough to experience actual sex.

One suspects that the extended adolescence typical of Millennials — their aversion to marriage and adult responsibility — is connected to how their sexuality has been warped not only by feminism and exposure to “safe sex” evangelism, but also by the corrupting influence of online porn.

In the first season of the HBO series Girls, Hannah keeps hooking up with a cretinous slacker, experiencing loveless and unsatisfying intercourse with this creep who, during their hookups, subjects her to weird “dirty talk” that emerges from a profoundly warped mind.

A good old-fashioned humping? They can’t even imagine anyone enjoying that.
Quartermaster
May 15th, 2014 @ 6:40 am

I doubt RSM looks to Turabian for style guidance.
ThomasD
May 15th, 2014 @ 7:17 pm

If only.

Psychology professionals are a profoundly self selected lot. And this fact is not lost on any of them.

Where they routinely fail is in succumbing to the belief that the process of becoming has made them well.
ThomasD
May 15th, 2014 @ 7:17 pm

If only.

Psychology professionals are a profoundly self selected lot. And this fact is not lost on any of them.

Where they routinely fail is in succumbing to the belief that the process of becoming has made them well.
Bob Belvedere
May 15th, 2014 @ 7:22 pm

I would agree because the worst way I can feel about another Human Being is to pity them.

If I pity you, it means I have no respect at all for you, that I see you as utterly pathetic and completely useless to anyone, that you are not worth one moment’s more consideration beyond the second or two of pity I feel towards you. What a waste of God’s Gift such a person is.
Bob Belvedere
May 15th, 2014 @ 7:25 pm

Well put. Of course, she must, ultimately, will herself to be helped.