A Busy Day at Acme Law

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Monkey see, monkey do — after months of cheerleading for Brett Kimberlin’s vexatious lawsuits, now Bill Schmalfeldt announces:

Today I have filed a lawsuit in the US District Court for the District of Maryland, Northern Division.
The defendants are:

WJJ Hoge III
Robert Stacy McCain
Nancy Gilly, aka “LibraryGryffon”
Paul H. Lemmen
Bettina Haper, aka “Black Betty”
Chris Heather, aka “Embryriddlealum” and any number of other sock puppets
Kyle Kiernan
Stephen R. Sheiko
Kimberly Dykes
The anonymous blogger calling itself “Paul Krendler”

I have filed under the following Claims for Relief.

1. Malicious Prosecution and Abuse of Process
2. Defamation and Libel
3. Harassment and Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress

Having not seen the complaint, I can’t imagine what manner of tortious injuries Schmalfeldt is claiming to have suffered from me.

My co-defendant John Hoge has no comment.

UPDATE: More ranting from the Neckless Troll:

They’re yukking it up over at Hogetown since I announced that I have filed a Federal lawsuit. A lot of the mindless sheep are bleating about wanting to be included. I can accommodate them. I imagine I have until such time as the case is officially docketed to change the list of defendants, so if you REALLY, REALLY want to be included, contact me with proof that you are you, and I will only be too happy to oblige.
Personally, I’m thrilled that I’m not being taken seriously. Wait until the summonses start arriving.

Yeah. Whatever, Bill. What I can’t wait for is when the complaint is posted. Should be good for a few laughs.




 

71 comments

  2. Butthurt in the First Degree, Felony Shaming, Malicious Quotation (Verbatim), Tortuous Reportage and Excessive Celebration.

  3. It seems you just haven’t arrived in the blogging community until you’ve been sued by the Asshole Double-Feature, Kimberlin and Schmalfeldt. I’m envious! How do I get into this exclusive society?

  7. according to his latest bleg, he’s willing to add more people if they email their correct name and address to him…
    I find it highly amusing he’s sueing people who have never filed a bit of paper on him OR contacted him in anyway (other than to tweet at him not to contact THEM) for malicious prosecution and harassment…

    O.o

  8. you left out how this could take awhile to get on the docket since he doesn’t have the filing fee, but has “filed” it…

    O.o

  10. That “Just let me know and I’ll sue you too” bit is going to do wonders for the question of veracity.

  12. Oh, you noticed that.

    As for the harassment, defamation,etc., claims, I refer people to Falwell v. Hustler Magazine.

  17. That’s the funniest part so far – that SchmalFAIL thinks anyone would send him their contact info so SchmalFOOL can harass/defame them more than he has already.

  19. Schmalfeldt made my comment fail, damn him!
    His necrotic touch fouls even the purest of comments and it was a really good one that used “nary” and “methinks” and everything.

  20. I’d pay a dollar to see any lawyer who would take on his suit.
    Have to be some wizened, one-eyed, peg-legged, jackalope rapin’ tort goiter from the bad side of Juarez that usually has to trade briefs for tequila to get through the day.

  21. he’s got all of BK’s draft work from his suit to use Pro-se I bet…
    cause that suit is going so well..

  22. I have a feeling that all of the named ‘defendants’ will die of old-age before they actually receive proper service.

  23. “[W]izened, one-eyed, peg-legged, jackalope rapin’ tort goiter from the bad side of Juarez…”

    I’m going to find a way to use that in some other context.

  26. Please note that i will offer what free legal help I can to all defendants. Stacy probably guessed he is already covered. But all of the rest, can contact me at [email protected].

    If you are anonymous and you wish to stay anonymous, don’t tell me your real name in the first email. We will discuss how to deal with that.

    Also, dear commenters, hit the like button on this comment so it appears as close to the front as possible, so the defendants are more likely to see it.

  29. Hey, wizened, one-eyed, peg-legged, jackalope rapin’ tort goiters from the bad side of Juarez gotta eat, too – but fat chance Schamalfeldt will pay when he has that expert legal team already.

  30. I think that comments here are strictly time-ordered, but I “liked” it anyway. Repost your offer as a reply to the first comment, that way it will be at the top.

  32. nice Aaron, but wait until he finds out the person/people he’s trying to sue really aren’t those people.

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