Years ago, an episode of Seinfeld showed a stand-up sequence in which Jerry Seinfeld discussed catcalling, including one common variation seen in New York City, the “car honk.” A man in a car is sitting at a red light, a good-looking woman crosses the street in the crosswalk ahead of him, and the guy starts honking his horn — “beep!” “beep!” “beep!” — to get the woman’s attention or, at least, to signal his appreciation of her beauty. Obviously, as a mating strategy, this is a hopeless failure. No woman has ever responded to the car honk (or the wolf whistle or any other form of what feminists call “street harassment”) by approaching the harasser and saying, “Hi, you’re very attractive, let me give you my phone number so we can have lunch sometime.” No man with half a brain could imagine that such tactics “work” in terms of attracting females, so why does this atavistic behavior persist?
Jerry Seinfeld concluded his stand-up riff with the punch-line: “These are the best ideas we’ve come up with.”
That line got a huge laugh, because it’s so true: When it comes to figuring out how to get women, guys are generally clueless. Why do you think the “Pick-Up Artist” phenomenon turned into such a cult thing? Because there is a vast potential market of clueless guys, and if some guy claims to have a clue — if he can convince clueless guys that his methods of scoring with women actually work — he’ll become a millionaire. And, as everybody knows, chicks dig millionaires.
Anyway, Molly Powell wrote a column at National Review to say that, within limits, the wolf-whistle/”hey baby” reaction can be regarded as flattering. Left-wingers flipped out at Powell’s contradiction of the Official Feminist Line, and Jazz Shaw writes at Hot Air:
While it’s apparently absolutely verboten to say such things out loud today, there is a difference — particularly for women — between dressing to look good and dressing to look hot. Seriously … does any woman go to the beach wearing a tiny bikini top and a thong because it’s just so comfortable to swim in? Nonsense. You do it because you think you look good and you want people to see that. If you didn’t, there are a wide variety of attractive one piece suits to choose from.
Men like looking at attractive women, and the more they work on dressing up the display, the more likely we are to notice. That’s been true across the history of man. There are clearly lines of decorum which most of us wish would not be crossed, but having the thought police try to turn every pair of males eyes following a shapely pair of legs into a micro-agresssion, rape society assault turns the entire discussion into a parody.
(Hat-tip: Mememorandum.) The issue here, of course, is not to defend or justify boorish behavior. Rather, the issue is feminists (a) trying to turn this into a political crusade, and (b) accusing anyone who disagrees of being an ignorant woman-hating bigot.
Beep! Beep! Beep!
That’s a hate crime now, the moral equivalent of rape. It’s heteronormative patriarchy, which is worse than slavery, genocide and nuclear war. And if you don’t agree, then obviously you haven’t been paying attention in Women’s Studies class.
The one-piece creates a smoother torso line. I’m not sure why a woman would want to display a washboard set of abs. That’s guy stuff.
No, but see, if a guy totally face-plants at the sight of a hot babe, that’s a compliment.
And also hilarious.
Never stop, guys. Never stop.
They want the world to burn down. It’s easier to build Utopia from the ashes than from a strong, independent populace.
If you know a girl with washboard abs and pert gluteals, send her my way and I’ll punish her appropriately.
Actually no, it’s not. But I understand how certain people might think so.
Completely true, but also true that men go to the gym mainly for other men. No one but an idiot thinks women really pay attention to all the muscles that men spend hours pumping up — but all those muscles help to establish alpha dominance, which itself helps with the ladies.
Oh man, give me a woman who can actually DO something, like build something or analyze something or manage a team etc. and if she’s passably pretty, she instantly becomes a 10. Competence is as sexy as great tits and ass.
Like hell.
Men are mostly visual — pretty is pretty and ugly is ugly. A beautiful girl will get boyfriends without an ounce of makeup and with her face in a car engine. Ugly girls can cover themselves with makeup and crap and struggle to get a date.
Men are also stupid about women, and are used to be being punished for being ‘pigs’. So when a women acts like one of the guys rather than a gussified harlot, men assume that she’s not interested in them as men, because women usually get all gussied up when they’re looking for attention.
Lesson for the ladies: if you’re going the ‘low-maintenance’ route, you’re going to have to be pretty forward to let the guys know you’re interested.
I write to note, I’m old enough to remember my mom’s closet filled with hat boxes. I think hats for women are extraordinarily sexy. I second the motion to bring them back.
Get into weight lifting. Girls with big muscles who can throw some weight around get LOTS of attention from the testosterone crew. No one will push you to be skinny and petite, and you’ll never have to wear makeup again if you don’t want to.
Either you’re in high school or in one of the hipster urban paradises, or else you just don’t know any guys.
I’ve always loved tomboys, and married the most Peppermint-Patty-ish backwoods tomboy I ever met. I chased after all the athlete girls at my high school, didn’t care about the cheerleaders. There just aren’t that many such women out there, once they hit college age.
You poor girls, having to negotiate all these swimwear options. Men have fewer complicated decisions — basically snuggly or loose. For myself, I adopted the lime green Borat-style over-the-shoulder-budgie-snuggler years ago, and never looked back. I can clear a beach in minutes.
I lift. Extensively.
Oh please, they hooked up with him because he’s black. ‘Doing a black guy’ is a huge box in every lefty white girl’s bucket list. They talk about their ‘black lover’ for years later, like they climbed Kilimanjaro. The way white girls sexually objectify black men is a running joke. If he was the only black guy at that school he barely had to talk to those girls for them to go home with him.
Neither. I don’t get hit on. Except by overweight gamer nerds who can’t seem to figure out what a washing machine is.
Yeah. Doesn’t work. Tried it. Got rejected. Hard.
Whatever.
Then if you are even passably attractive, you should have no trouble. The dudes usually just need to know you’re interested.
Whoa, you were rejected? Welcome to the club, ladies! Your average guy gets rejected 3 out of every 4 times he initiates contact.
But seriously, I don’t know your issue and I can’t pretend to give advice. But if you are healthy, fit, and personally engaging, and you’re hanging out with physically fit single guys, there’s an issue that’s not coming across.
Sounds pretty horrible. What’s with all the gamers?
Are you sure you aren’t getting hit on? When I was single I pretty shamelessly chased every athletic and manual-oriented girl I knew, even the married ones. Most men love dirty girls, women’s sweat is total aphrodisiac.
0.6%
I like video games. So the (very) few times I get hit on, it’s usually when I’m trying to decide between a couple of games and some fat guy will walk up and assume I don’t know anything about video games and try to “educate” me in what I should play. And I get stuck with them trying to get close to me with the overwhelming smell of BO wafting in my nostrils while I’m trying to politely get them to leave me the hell alone.
And yes, I’m certain I’m not getting hit on by anybody else. Even I’m not that blind.
I’d love somebody to clue me in as well. I’m not perfect – far from it – but I’m not ugly, I’m certainly not fat, and I’m not a bitch. I get along with pretty much everybody.
Well, I’m at a loss, although the gamers’ community is not where you are going to find lots of dynamic and fit young suitors. Maybe join a bikers’ club or frequent a Crossfit box where everyone knows everyone else. I’d even suggest to get into rock-climbing or boxing. If I were single I’d be asking for your number based on just what I know about you, so there are plenty of other such dudes out there. You sound like most of the women I knew when I lived in Austin, and those women never lacked for dates.
Here’s an idea: Move to Austin!
They’ve all known. I don’t like playing those stupid pussyfoot games, so I tend more toward being direct. One guy in particular seemed like he was interested, then was too cowardly to talk to me so he sent me a fucking email saying he wasn’t.
I’ll admit I’m pissed and hurt by the whole thing. We were supposed to be friends, then he pulled that. And then wanted to pretend like everything was hunky-dory. As much as I’ve let myself be walked on before, even I’m not that much of a doormat.
Seriously, we’ve all been there. I went many months without a date in my early 20’s. I have no doubt you’re great.
And young guys are idiots, too. So don’t take any of it personally, and don’t think you have to date obese gamers.
Well now we know why feminists won’t criticize Muslim extremists. The feminists are just waiting for the day when all women will have to wear Burqas. Some to cover up their good looks, some to protect the viewers from what lies beneath.
Guess into which category the feminists fall?
In my day, i.e. the early ’80s, the women who enjoyed rock climbing/backpacking/mountaineering and other outdoorsy stuff could have had their pick of my group. There were about 20 of us and most of us couldn’t find women who were interested in those things. When we found one, we kept her.
And don’t think, the girls didn’t know they were the center of attention.
BTW, I still keep up with most of that crew. Not a single divorce in the bunch.
Wish I could give you better advice. Stay the course and keep your chin up. The world is literally full of people who can’t figure out what they’re doing wrong. If I knew you better I’d be able to give you a dude’s mercilessly impartial perspective (attracting male attention is easier than breathing, if you understand men).
That was my experience as well. Generally women who take an interest in those pursuits have their pick of the litter, 20 or 30 fit and outdoorsy men.
I certainly pay attention.
Good to know, but most women aren’t as interested in physicality, probably because women aren’t as interested in athletics.
Based on your handle and your comments, are you perhaps in the military? Because if that’s the case, many of the men you associate with have been conditioned to think of you as off-limits.
According to my dad I’m “unapproachable.” Admittedly I’m not a social person (I’m very much an introvert so being around groups is extremely exhausting for me), but I’ve tried to “put myself out there” a couple of times and it just doesn’t work for me. I’m that awesome friend who is a girl that can talk gun and games and weights but I’ll never be the girl that likes to get dressed up and be the arm candy.
I love outdoorsy stuff. I’ll go out and hike a mountain just for the hell of it (slowly, but I’ll hike it). I also like tabletop gaming. My interests span a ridiculous breadth and almost all of them are more male-dominated hobbies. Actually, I think all of them are.
Do a Google search for “Women’s Studies Nod”, for a glimpse at what totalitarian societies are like.
Ah, shame, you sure sound like a keeper. The dudes you’re around must be crazy, so I don’t know what to say to help you. I would just encourage you to get into hiking, rock climbing, scuba diving, competitive shooting, MMA, etc. The girls who get into that stuff have the pick of the litter.
The guys who are looking for ‘arm candy’ are few in number and aren’t worth your time. A conservative girl who likes guns, lifting weights and video games is most guys’ idea of great girlfriend material.. If you like steak and beer, you’re perfection. My first serious girlfriend was a cop who fit that description, and I woulda married that girl if she weren’t a firebrand liberal democrat. Shame.
That conditioning doesn’t seem to keep the other women from finding a guy who actually wants them. Believe me, I look around and it’s the girly-girls who get noticed.
First world problems. *shrug*
Actually, in my case, is an older guy who is the idiot.
Thank you for saying so. Seems to be the consensus among my female friends, family, and married male friends. I am apparently invisible to the single male population.
The most hilarious thing about this: until I met one particular guy, I was perfectly fine with being alone. I assumed I’d never get married and I was a-ok with that.
Well I’m pushing 40, so you’re all youngsters from where I sit.
At any rate, keep it all in perspective. There’s clearly nothing wrong with you. Based on what you’ve said about yourself, my gut tells me that you are hanging out with morons, which is a shame because you seem pretty high speed. The best advice I can give is to be patient and true and don’t think you have to either date obese gamers or turn yourself into a Barbie doll. Lots of fish in the sea, and you’re looking at a small pond.
Lol. He actually is 40.
And I’m hitting mid-30s.
As a happily married man, I’m going to have to absent myself from further participation in this conversation, for obvious reasons. 🙂
Best of luck to you, but I don’t think you need it, maniakmedic.
We could always resort to Spoonerisms:
“She’s a feminist? That’s a sham dame.”
Or, “Feminism: what a shirty dame!”
I actually had posted that the guy is 40. It didn’t show up. Weird. Anyway, thank you for letting me vent.
Because it’s damn hard to get washboard abs as a chick and it’s something to be proud of? I’m not one for bodily display, but even I’d consider running around the track in one of those little sports bra things if I had washboard abs. I’m close, but not there yet.
What? He doesn’t like cats?
Yeah, anytime anyone in New York honks three times, all they get is the finger.
The thing that makes me look is the exact same thing that makes them display.