Most parenting “trends” are bad. In general, as a parent, you should strive to be as old-fashioned as possible. Even if your children subsequently rebel against your authority — as, predictably, most kids do — you need to give them an actual authority to rebel against. And then you crush the rebellion like Darth Vader wiping out Alderaan.
Trendy progressive parent nowadays are into gender neutrality. They don’t want to impose oppressive gender norms on their kids because having normal kids is wrong, or something. What trendy progressive parents want is for their kids to be hopelessly confused weirdos, so that the parents then have a “cause” to crusade for. Nothing else can explain this Huffington Post column by Erika Kleinman:
When Gender Norms Didn’t Work for My Kid
I cut my 3-year-old daughter’s hair really short. She had asked me, specifically, “Can you cut my hair like a boy? Really, really short?” At first I gave her a bob. Then a shorter bob. Then finally, when she asked yet another time, I said to myself, “Why am I avoiding this? Let’s do it.” I got out the clippers.
Why did it take her asking me three times for me to take action? Because this culture is still very binary when it comes to gender, and never more so than during early childhood. And I’m not immune to my culture, and I feared the reactions of others. . . .
(It’s like a Jeff Foxworthy joke. You might be a trendy progressive parent if you’ve ever written a sentence that includes the phrase, “this culture is still very binary when it comes to gender.” Hint: When it comes to parenting, Judith Butler is not your friend.)
When I was in the fifth month of my pregnancy with my first child, everyone wanted to know the sex. “Boy or girl?” When I said, “Surprise,” they were openly horrified. “No one is going to know what to get the baby!” Pink or blue? Cupcakes or puppy dogs? Butterflies or tractors? These conversations annoyed me. I have a foot in my spleen and no bladder capacity and you want to know pink or blue?
Even without the key information of my baby’s sex, people sounded off on how different boys and girls are. Boys are so bold, so daring. Girls are so sweet, such good listeners. Many of these people were college educated, where they ostensibly took one class which addressed binary gender constructs. One lesbian mother described her son as “all boy.” What does that even mean? I don’t hold gay people to a higher standard when it comes to questioning gender roles, but it is testimony of how deep these perceptions of girls and boys run in this culture. . . .
(Again, she uses the phrase “this culture.” Please tell us, Ms. Kleinman, where can we find a culture without “gender roles” and “perceptions of girls and boys”? Can you point to another culture — and utopian science fiction novels don’t count — where androgynous gender anarchy prevails? This could be an interesting subject for anthropologists to explore. As a practical guideline for successful parenting, however, mere theories about a gender-free culture might not be so helpful.)
Where does the assertion come from that girls and boys behave certain ways, and that this is inherent? They are socialized differently and may have different ways of relating to one another, especially as they get older and these expectations become even more rigid. But are these differences as stark as many parents say they are? Indeed, many of the parents who stated that boys and girls were “so different” were basing this assumption on their uncontrolled experiment of (their own) two children.
Yet gender stereotypes are encouraged in early childhood, especially when it comes to toys. With that in mind, during my pregnancy, I vowed I would empower our girls, and make sure our boys were sensitive. As it turned out, we had two girls. When my youngest daughter was born, I joked to my husband, “Well, who knows? Jury’s still out on gender until they tell us themselves.” . . .
For the first three years of my older daughter’s life, I was careful to say, “Shea, when you get a boyfriend or girlfriend…” until she finally corrected me, at 4-years-old. She said, “Mom, I’m going to marry a boy, so you can stop saying that. I don’t want to marry a girl.” Fair enough.
When my youngest child started pointing at little boys in picture books, saying, “That’s me,” I was surprised. . . .
(You were “surprised”? As if your daughter wasn’t sensitive enough to pick up on her mother’s hostility to “gender stereotypes”? You spent the first four years of your older daughter’s life inciting her to bisexuality, and yet now you’re “surprised” that your younger daughter is confused about her gender? Clueless much?)
When I cut Phoebe’s hair, I used clippers . . . I left some length on top, skater boi style. The difference was pretty striking. She really did look like a boy. After the haircut, I noticed that I felt some loss around my perception of my child as female. I felt fear about how my child might be treated. My child attends a Montessori school filled with people who are like-minded in terms of empathy and rejecting cultural stereotypes, but kindergarten at a public school is only two years away. And what then? . . .
You can read the whole infuriating thing. It seems to have become a trend among progressive parents to promote gender confusion in their children, a practice that allows feminist mothers to challenge “stereotypes” vicariously. If they can raise a sissy boy or a butch girl whose abnormal behavior makes them a target of ridicule and ostracism, these mothers can then spend the rest of their lives as crusaders on behalf of tolerance, and be praised by their progressive peers for so courageously defending the child whose personality they have warped.
Catherine Newman is so proud of her effeminate son, you see? And if Erika Kleinman can “empower” her daughter Phoebe to be a “scary butch lesbian” like Rachel Maddow, this will be counted as success among the feminist peers whose admiration Ms. Kleinman craves. The child’s happiness is ultimately less important to progressive parents than “rejecting cultural stereotypes.”
We need a new term: Gender Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy, maybe? http://t.co/3MMXAXSjyT @ekleinman
— Robert Stacy McCain (@rsmccain) September 9, 2014
.@rsmccain @ekleinman Chromosomes are a social construct. The social-science is settled. @KurtSchlichter @artcinco
— Social Scienceist (@PAEOAM) September 9, 2014
With any luck, the progressives have rendered their children too confused to procreate. Six generations of fascists is enough.
I’m making 90 USD an h0ur w0rking at my fl0or. I was amazed when my neighb0ur t0ld me she was averaging $90 but I see h0w it works n0w. I feel s0 much freed0m n0w that I’m my 0wn b0ss.
Easiest way to make m0ney is here????
????http://www.m0ney/0nline/2014/3/8…,.,
“And then you crush the rebellion like Darth Vader wiping out Alderaan”
This is especially true with boys. Boundaries must be set and when the boy transgresses them, he must feel the sting of your wrath. Every. Time.
There is no such thing as gender confusion in children, only in adults.
What is important is for children to understand the legitimacy of parental authority. The complaint that parental requirements are “unfair” represents a challenge to this legitimacy. Who is the child, at 11 or 13 or 15, to judge the fairness of his parents’ rules? Why must the parents explain or justify their authority?
Mom said clean your room. This was not a request, nor was it an invitation to debate the general fairness of your life. It was an imperative command, and if you — the dependent child — think that you can question Mom’s authority in this regard, you’ve got another think coming.
Human society must be turned inside out to save a bait fish in California but human nature itself is a series of artificial constructs which must be subverted or destroyed.
Anyone else notice any contradiction here? How about appeal to novelty? Marxism?
This womyn and her self-emasculated ‘husband’ are guilty of Moral Treason and Child Abuse.
They are taking Souls that are forming, that they are in charge of guiding through the early years of Life, and deliberately seeking to make these children mentally ill.
Exactly.
In related bad parenting news, has anyone else seen this precocious 13 year old feminist?
http://youtu.be/0KruqqIppLA
Ugh, when you let your child play in the interstate highway, chances are he/she is going to wind up as a hood ornament. When you deliberately indoctrinate your daughter into feminism, chances are she’s going to wind up as a Daughter of Sappho or owning lots of cats.
“Where does the assertion come from that girls and boys behave certain ways, and that this is inherent”
Well, given that proscribed gender roles/behaviour exist in every single human society in recorded history, and are plainly evident in every single species of higher animal, the source of this assertion is most likely something scientists have labelled “reality”.
Wait a minute. If “boy” and “girl” have no meaning then how did she know to cut her daughter…er…child with two X chromosomes…hair short when she…er…it asked to have it cut “like a boy”?!?
[…] McCain has posted a well-earned drubbing of the latest hip parenting trend: Gender […]
Just think of how far this new, innovative thinking can progress! When Phoebe turns 12, Mom can explain to her why, every 28 days, blood comes out of her penis. Ah, brave new world!
“If women want any rights more than they’s got, why don’t they just take them, and not be talking about it.”
— Sojourner Truth
Every strong woman I’ve ever known never asked or rallied for rights. They looked you in the eye and never said a word.
They didn’t have to.
I think the word you wanted there is prescribed. Proscribed means prohibited.
Because to a libprog words have no meaning…even the ones who make a living selling words. Everything they spout ends up meaning purple because ice-cream has no bones or smelling like the color nine. …and these execrable nightmares have children. George Carlin used to joke that he taught his kids that phones were called bananas (eventually giving new meaning to those old, ‘hey, is that a banana in your pocket…’ jokes). At the time everyone knew it was a cruel joke at the expense of the innocence of childhood. The left is playing a far more cruel joke for real on their own children…and demanding that we all play along.
Does anyone remember the scene in Monty Python’s the meaning of life just after a woman gives birth containing this exchange:
Mother: It is a boy or a girl
Obstetrician: I think it’s a bit early to start imposing roles on it, don’t you?
Perhaps baby boomers should have explicitly taught their children that Python was not an actual guide to life, then perhaps their children’s lives would not resemble a monty python sketch.
It’s fascinating to see people treat their children, not as individuals who need to be reared to achieve a productive adulthood, but as props in some sort of weird Progressive morality play. The author’s concern is not about her children, but about making sure she herself displays the appropriate indicia of the Progressive lifestyle. If that requires child sacrifice, whether directly by abortion or indirectly through latest politically correct parenting model, so be it.
In 20 years or so we will see a whole slew of dysfunctional and loony kids as a result of progressive parental abuse. How many books will be written about these kids nightmarish upbringing? And sadly I expect some of these kid will die prematurely either from suicide or drug abuse
She is here also disgusting The poor girl…her parents are raising a priestess to the god Moloch.
http://www.thetimesnews.com/news/top-news/keep-the-cake-burlington-girl-gets-taste-of-activism-1.180273
It’s almost like progressivism is a religion or something
It’s a religion for the insane.
“[T]his culture is still very binary when it comes to gender.”
Tell me: That kid of yours… how was she brought into existence?
Only dysfunctional kids I ever met came from strict religious, conservative upbringing that allowed no room for free thought, or expression.
Really? Hyperbole, much? You really believe there’s some inherent danger if a little girl says she wants a short haircut, or to play with toy trucks? And your reaction to this would be what? “No! You have to play with dolls!” I’m sure she’ll grow up to be a healthy adult.
Social engineering concepts are not spread by biological procreating. (Otherwise, they never would have come into being in the first place, and we wouldn’t be reading this article.)
We now have gay marriage in this country. A concept absolutely removed from the reality of procreation has completely taken over. If that doesn’t show you that procreation has nothing to do with social trends, then I just don’t know what to tell you.
The social engineers have taken the schools, entertainment and journalistic media (and they took it all without a fight). They can turn right-wing children into left-wingers, whereas right-wingers do not have the power to turn the left-wing children their way.
It’s a sad state. Right-wingers turned away from cultural shaping and into “nuts and bolts” jobs. So all they’ve done is build a bunch of infrastructure that will be inhabited by a worthless society.
Formal logic is dangerous to the Progressive Project, my friend.
Well, if she is like most progs, I wouldn’t be surprised if a turkey baster was involved.
While the quibblers out there might point out that Grand Moff Tarkin, not Vader, ordered the destruction of Alderaan; I think we all get your drift. The first paragraph pretty much sums up my parenting philosophy.
Weren’t there also experiments done where they gave girls toys like trucks and boys toys like dolls where the girls cradled the trucks and tucked them in little cribs and the boys ripped the heads off the dolls or pretended the dolls were soldiers?
It’s not the haircut or the toys. It’s the political philosophy behind the parenting, one which denies reality. It denies innate, biological differences in order to make a political point. Read the author’s words. It’s not about her kids; it’s about her mouthing the shibboleths necessary to be accepted among those she perceives to be the elite.
And, BTW, Progressive parenting is not the only place where this is a problem. Too many parents view their children as “accessories” to their own lives, to be displayed like a prized art collection. It’s not about the kids, themselves, but rather it’s about what the kids provide the parents in terms of status. And we then wonder why younger generations are so alienated from their elders. They’ve been treated not as gifts to be cherished and led to adulthood, but as trophies to be displayed for the admiration of others.
I tell you what. You have kids and when they get to be about 3 or 4, tell me your address. I will send them several boxes of Sharpies and some spray paint. At that point, you can give them all the room for “free thought” and “expression” you wish. Let us know how it works out for you.
Your own hate speaks volumes about liberalism
Up Vote for the Star Wars reference. Man, I miss Peter Cushing. RIP
Yeah,right – In support of what you’re saying, I’ll quote what my Tico friends say: To the monkey, the world is upside down. …not that I’m calling you a monkey, per se. Heavens…what monkey would wear that much patchouli! Not to imply that you in any way smell since that would be sexist and mean, but Marxist group-think does kinda stink when you get right down to it. Not that I’m calling you a Marxist lesbian who supports pedophilia…but are you? …and if not, are you by any chance a monkey? NTTAWWT
I”ll see your anecdotal evidence and raise you 100 million plus deaths caused by Communist (progressive) government.
If you doubt that Progressivism has roots in revolutionary Marxism, read Gramsci or some other Frankfurt School collectivists. They agreed on the end state goal, they just disagreed on the approach evolution vs revolution.
-Well said.
-What is also interesting, of course, is that George Carlin was a Leftie [granted, of the Old Labourite variety].
A Monty Python sketch played out in a funhouse mirror.
Don’t feed the Trolls!
I rooted for The Empire:
http://www.weeklystandard.com/Content/Public/Articles/000/000/001/248ipzbt.asp
I make it a rule to doubt the political commitment of anyone more than three years younger than the voting age.
I really don’t like Roseanne Barr, but once she said this: “What women have to understand is that nobody gives you power, you just take it.”
The other thing is, this woman probably made up a good portion of what she writes as purported “truth”. While it’s obvious from the picture that she did go ahead and ruin her daughter’s hair (I mean, who’s the parent here? The 3 year old, or the 3 year old’s alleged mother?), her rant about people being horrified about not knowing the baby’s sex is almost certainly a lie, most especially the little tidbit she threw in there about the supposed lesbian mom. Most people don’t know their child’s sex for a certainty during pregnancy. She just had to embroider some fantasy into the story in order to build up her point, whatever that actually was.
But if she didn’t make stuff up out of whole cloth, her “article” would have been this: “My 3 year old runs our family, which is a family of idiots, and I’m going to claim that she insisted I cut her hair like a boy’s, which may or may not be true, considering that I do show her pictures of boy’s haircuts and ask her whether she thinks it’s cute or not. Also, my husband is a girlie-man, and we’re both liberal progressives, so we celebrate ourselves. The end.”
And one day the older daughter shows up with her new boyfriend, Ken Shabby. And the younger daughter joins the “camp it up” military.
You’ll notice that people who applaud Marxism have never actually lived in a Marxist society.
But here’s a guy who has, and this is a very informative book: Shakedown Socialism: Unions, Pitchforks, Collective Greed, The Fallacy of Economic Equality, and other Optical Illusions of “Redistributive Justice” by Oleg Atbashian.
You don’t get out much, do you?
I read that article, and that child is more a sock puppet than anything, mouthing words given to her by her idiot mother. Given that the mother is a pro-Planned Parenthood protester, it makes me wonder how precarious young Madison’s existence was. Or if the mother is one of those “I wouldn’t do it myself, but I support the ability of others to murder their children” goobers.
Who is that famous guy who grew up without adults imposing their stupid norms on him? The one who had total freedom to shape who he would become in his own hands… He did something big in the ’60s… Oh yeah…Charles Manson. Yeah, “dysfunctional” isn’t the first adjective I think of in connection with him…
Especially those who have filled their bellies with straw.
Hadn’t heard that about her.
It’s a good point though.
Another good one is that if someone gives you power, it was never yours to begin with.
I got that from my notes on Shelby Steele’s White Guilt, although I don’t think he wrote that bit. I think it reminded me of something I heard somewhere.