Feminist Tumblr: Mentally Ill Lesbian Hates ‘Totally Useless’ Fathers

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Feminists believe everything any man does is wrong, simply because (a) he’s a man, and (b) he did it. No man can ever do anything to deserve praise from feminists, who never say anything about any male except to condemn him for his maleness. Tumblr is full of man-hating feminists like this one:

“I’m 23, female, a lesbian, white, mentally ill,
visually impaired, a recent college graduate,
an atheist, very left-wing, from the U.S.,
and seeking to learn more every day.”

The sum total of her achievements in life are (a) graduating college, (b) hating God, and (c) being a lesbian, and yet, by declaring herself to be a feminist, she thereby automatically qualifies as an expert criticizing everybody else’s life:

I get so annoyed when I observe willfully incompetent fathers. Last night my mom and I went to a restaurant that had a lot of families, and honestly, almost all of the dads I noticed were totally useless in their behavior. They mostly sat around and ate while the moms fed the kids, took the kids to the salad bar, refilled the kids’ drinks, cleaned the kids up, took the kids to the bathroom, entertained the kids, calmed the kids when they got fussy, etc.
So then it bothers me when people act like it’s “cute” or worthy of a sitcom trope when dads are clueless…because the subsequent assumption is that it’s not a big deal because his wife or some other woman will let him off the hook and take over (as she “should” because women are made to be caregivers and assumed to be naturally nurturing)! There’s nothing amusing about a grown man refusing to do simple things for his own children and essentially forcing his wife (and/or other women in his life) to pick up his slack.
I just feel sorry for all of the women out there who do so much work that is not appreciated or valued. Women in general work so hard.

Those 208 eight words of feminist expertise got 12,482 notes on Tumblr in three days, because feminists hate fathers, period.

Fatherhood is patriarchy. Fathers are oppressors. Nothing any father does for his wife and children can ever entitle him to respect or admiration from a feminist, because (a) he’s a man, and (b) everything men do is wrong. Take your wife and kids out to eat at a restaurant, and the feminist (although she is “visually impaired”) will scrutinize your every word and gesture, looking for some reason to hate you. She is “mentally ill” and doesn’t know anything about you, but her Superior Feminist Insight qualifies her to analyze your behavior and see that your wife’s work “is not appreciated or valued.” Dad, on the other hand, is “totally useless” and has never done any work at all, ever. He just sits around oppressing women and collecting the lucrative benefits of his male privilege, which is how he paid for the restaurant meal.

Feminism is the ultimate sour-grapes rationalization, empowering bitter misfits with theoretical analyses that explain away the apparent happiness of successful normal women. Everybody else walks through the restaurant and sees families enjoying a nice meal together, but feminism enables the mentally ill lesbian to see that this alleged “enjoyment” is an illusion. Obviously, they don’t see the patriarchal prejudice — “women are made to be caregivers and assumed to be naturally nurturing” — that is oppressing these married mothers. You need a college education to understand things like that, see.

From the feminist perspective, it is obvious that these women eating dinner with their husbands and children are all stupid and ignorant because (a) educated intelligent women are lesbian feminists and (b) only stupid ignorant women marry men and have babies.

No feminist would consider the possibility that mothers take care of their chldren because they enjoy taking care of their children. Nor would it occur to a feminist that perhaps children benefit from the division of labor wherein women specialize in being nuturing caregivers. Gosh, she carried them in her belly for nine months and probably breastfed them for several months after they were born, so why wouldn’t we expect that she is more involved (and more skilled) in the nurturing caregiver role than her husband? Doesn’t maternal devotion reflect an entirely natural response to the biological reality of a mother’s greater personal investment in her offspring? And isn’t it true that mothers generally receive an emotional reward for their nuturance, in terms of the special affection children have for their mothers? Doesn’t a mother take pride in the success of her children made possible by her nuturing? Are there no tangible rewards for being a good mother? Is all this caregiving stuff just a burden imposed on women by patriarchal oppression?

Here’s a radical idea: Men are not as stupid as feminists think we are.

Do men have to get married? Do men have to become fathers?

No. There are plenty of unmarried guys with no kids who do not envy the lives of men who are married fathers. Bachelors enjoy their independence. There are lots of single guys out there who go to great lengths to avoid marriage, guys who don’t want to take on the commitment of being a husband, guys who have no interest in the responsibilities of fatherhood. Heck, I know a guy who lucked into a relationship with an incredible bombshell blonde — stacked like the Ziggurat of Ur — and every time I saw him, I’d congratulate him on his good fortune. “So, when’s the wedding?” I’d ask, giving him my usual aggressive family-values spiel. Always my friend would say he just didn’t think he was ready for marriage. This went on for at least three years, until finally she talked him into getting married, although if you saw them together, you’d almost certainly say, “Wow, how did he get her?”

Anybody who knows anything about actual relationships knows how often it’s the woman pushing for marriage, while the guy’s trying to avoid the yoke of matrimony. Parenthood is also something that women often have to talk men into, and any feminist theorist who sees it the other way around is just crazy. Do they think all men are stupid?

Suppose that this visually impaired, mentally ill lesbian was accurate in her observation that, for the most part, the mothers did nearly all the childcare when these couples went out to eat at a restaurant. Can this be explained by something besides a feminist theory of patriarchal oppression? Yes — selection effects.

These were married women. They had been selected by men, who stuck around long enough to spawn children, and who were able to afford to take the family out for a restaurant meal. Are guys so stupid that they can’t evaluate women’s behavior and attitudes? Are guys unable to tell the difference between (a) a woman with an aptitude for nuturing and caregiving, and (b) a mentally ill lesbian feminist?

What I’m saying is that women who exhibit the traits desireable in a wife and mother are more likely to attract a man who wants to be a husband and father. If a guy is smart, these are key criteria in how he evaluates a potential wife. Sure, looks are nice, but even if she’s stacked like the Ziggurat of Ur, a smart guy knows what Smokey Robinson’s mama told him: “Good looking girls are a dime a dozen. Try to find you one who’s gonna give you good loving.”

That nurturing caregiver stuff is important — it’s a very attractive trait, to a marriage-minded man — and so the women selected as wives and mothers are more apt to exhibit this behavior than are lonely feminists who do sour-grapes blogging on Tumblr.

This is why it doesn’t matter whether gender traits are natural or, as the feminists would have us believe, “socially constructed.” If any particular trait is desireable, that trait will be sought, it will be valued, praised and rewarded. Insofar as what men want from women and what women want from men are different, then the difference in their desires will tend to replicate themselves in a way that seems natural, even if you can explain as a matter of theory how these differences are “socially constructed.” Are guys naturally more competitive and aggressive than women? I think so, but if you disagree, so what? Competitive, aggressive men tend to be more successful in their careers than men who are passive and averse to competition, and (brace yourself for shocking news) women like men who are successful.

The same explanation works for why women with certain personality traits are more likely to become wives and mothers. Guys are not as stupid as feminists think we are. If men want to get married, they’re going to look for women who act like they would make good wives. If men also want to become fathers, they’ll look for wives who act like they would make good mothers. Selection effects — wives and mothers are not chosen randomly, which explains the difference between a married mother who naturally acts as a nuturing caregiver, on the one hand, and an embittered lesbian feminist, on the other hand.

Feminists sit around making sour-grapes rationalizations, pretending like normal women are helpless victims of oppression.

Ladies, if you want a husband and children, think about what is necessary to achieve those goals. You don’t have to be stacked like the Ziggurat of Ur, but you should develop an aptitude as a nurturing caregiver. Also, don’t take advice from mentally ill feminists on Tumblr. Otherwise, you might as well major in Women’s Studies, IYKWIMAITYD.

Loyal readers have been funding my research into radical feminism, thanks to the Five Most Important Words in the English Language:

HIT THE FREAKING TIP JAR!





 

73 comments

  3. Larry Elder quoted a case study in one of his books about a prison where a Mother’s Day/Father’s Day card fiasco turned into an eye-opener. They found that something like 99% of the inmates either didn’t know who their father was or that he wasn’t a part of the household when they were growing up. Only about 1% of them had abusive or “incompetent” fathers, as this piece of work puts it.

    Break up the family and this is what you get.

  5. Gosh, I have so many thoughts on this that I don’t even know where to start. We’ve got six kids, seventh due in October, and when we go out to eat, that’s basically what you see. Mom helps, Daddy eats. But then, he pays, too. 🙂 That man works a 70 hour week, and then I expect him to play mommy, too? Not if I want him to keep bringing home the bacon, I don’t!

    Also, I guess our mentally ill friend isn’t aware of the fact that men basically stink at sustained caregiving (they can sorta pull it off for a few days, at most, unless they’re testosterone deficient, and testosterone deficient men are gross) not because they don’t care, but because they just aren’t wired for that kind of attention. Besides, if a man tries to help the kid to the salad bar, wife’s just going to notice how wrong he did it and do it over herself. Might as well let her do it the first time.

  6. In defense of some dads who work 70 hours a week, we can also superintend behavior at restaurants. I must confess, I’m critical of people whose children act up in public. I adopted my parents’ mantra about children: “We want people to be happy to see you arrive and sad to see you leave. Not the other way around.”

    It’s not that difficult. Sit still. Say “Please” and “Thank you.” Don’t screw with the sugar packets. With utensils, start on the outside and work your way in. Only belch at home.

  7. Oh, yes. Daddy still does that stuff, no matter how hard he’s worked. But he’s a dad, not a mom. We get a lot if compliments on our children’s behavior, and I’m pretty sure that’s mostly to his credit.

  8. If individuals desire a traditional life, i.e. marriage and children, they will seek out those who have traits conducive to that sort of life. The fact of the matter is, no matter how many books one’s read or college courses in childhood development one’s taken, one doesn’t really grasp the enormous responsibility of child-rearing until one sees that defenseless infant for the first time. The word “sobering” does not describe it.

    Unfortunately, because our society has divorced the act of procreation from the purpose, many of us have lost the ability to appreciate those facts.

  9. True enough. That’s why God invented two parents. Plus, there’s nothing like the “paternal gaze” to nip inappropriate behavior in the bud.

  10. People-watching is entertaining, and kids tend to get my attention. I notice how cute they are, good or bad behavior, humorous things they do, precociousness, etc. Never occurred to me to contrast the mothers against the fathers. That’s just weird. I suppose the things we focus on, when observing others, says more about ourselves than the ones we are watching.

  11. The nostrils flare…
    Eyes focus….
    Eyebrows rise together, slowly.
    The fork that was smoothly moving, now becomes still….
    The child becomes very aware of being the object of intense and unpleasant attention….

    And for some who are really good at it….

    Lightning flares in the sky, and gusts of wind shakes the building….

  13. Lightning flares in the sky, and gusts of wind shakes the building….

    I reserve those for the truly “big ticket” items.

  14. “According to feminist ideology, somehow these idiots managed to effectively oppress us wymyn seamlessly for thousands and thousands of years because of their motiveless evil. But a few decades ago, quite suddenly, these ultra-competent, ultra-clever oppressors became too stupid and inept to do anything right. Isn’t that an astonishing turn of events?”
    Author unknown

  21. It also doesn’t seem to occur her that, in those cases where the wife is a stay at home mom and primary caregiver, she might not appreciate the husband over-involving himself in some of those things. When my wife and I were out with our small kids, I think she would have felt like I was implicitly criticizing her ability if I started to take charge on some of those things she lists. I would discipline if needed, and I would take our boys to bathroom. But as long as things were under control, I don’t think she wanted me to get too involved with the rest. I certainly didn’t want her unsolicited input on my job performance at work.

  22. My husband didn’t have a “look”, but I did.

    If they were doing something they shouldn’t, my eyes narrowed, which meant “you’re getting smacked in 3…2…1”.

    If they were not doing a thing that they should be doing, I would raise my eyebrows.

    My kids are grown, and these looks still work on them.

  24. Probably, because I never noticed the mother/father thing as the lesbian tells it, either. I also wanted to take care of the kids in restaurants, so I just expected other mothers to be the same. Nice that the idiot lesbian just ASSumes that taking care of her offspring is somehow oppressive to the mother.

    What I do notice is when the kids are being loud, obnoxious or running around, and nobody does anything. Or else the mother asks the child nicely to behave (and I actually once heard a young child tell his mother to eff off, using the actual word. I would have tore that kid up right there in front of everyone). And in these cases, the dad usually sits there doing nothing also.

  26. And you would’ve been right about the implicit criticism. If I want somebody’s help with something, I’ll ask for it, as most normal people would do.

    Also, unasked for advice for parents: if you want to be able to eat your dinners together without major interruption, feed your kids at home. Then, at the restaurant, let them order any dessert they want, and have the waitress bring them with your dinners. Kids will tuck into desserts while parents eat. Just don’t plan on hanging around too long after eating, due to potential sugar rush misbehavior.

  27. I respectfully disagree with regard to the “feed at home” advice. Certainly, there’s nothing wrong with the parents having a date night alone, but how do children learn to behave in more formal settings, unless a) the parents expose them to same and b) the parents enforce expectations of correct behavior.

    I still have a book my parents gave me for my tenth birthday, and which I’ve made all three of my kids read: Stand Up, Shake Hands . . .. (I’ve also slapped my two boys upside the head with it.)

    You don’t learn skills just by reading or hearing. You learn by doing.

  28. There are plenty of unmarried guys with no kids who do not envy the
    lives of men who are married fathers. Bachelors enjoy their independence

    At any one time, perhaps. As recently as 1990, annual marriage rates were such that 96% of the male population could expect to be married at some point in their life. A great many of the remaining 4% were damaged in some way: addled by sexual perversions, bereft of the sexual impulse, or candidates for the asylum or the group home or the nursing home. A man livin’ the Joe Namath life past 40 you may find particular examples of, but they were sociological pileated woodpeckers. I do not think the life course trajectory has changed much in the intervening generation, bar that men tend to get married two or three years later.

  29. So, if she’s blind and crazy by her own admission, just exactly how was she observing these dads? …with her tentacles? …prehensile tail? …smell-o-vision?

  34. There’s a gargantuan mole on her chin with several prehensile hairs on it. Five of the six she uses for sensory perception. The sixth just mumbles stuff about lesbianism and The Patriarchy.

  35. She belongs to the tribe that supports ripping children apart and selling them off like carved meat, and this is what she finds to bitch about… Step aside John Steinbeck…

  36. Selection effects…This is why it doesn’t matter whether gender traits are natural or… “socially constructed.”

    Gender IS socially constructed; but so what? Language is socially constructed, too; that doesn’t mean that words can mean anything you want.

  37. I knew my wife of 28 years was a foreigner, but I didn’t know it was South Africa. I must question her about that.

  39. So. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Seeing this sort of stuff makes me feel less sad that I never had kids.

    It’s a crap shoot. I could’ve raised someone like this poor thing. And I’d feel guilty about it even though I’m pretty sure she became a pathetic whiny little bitch all on her own. (well maybe some help from the College)

  40. Being a man is innate; how that is expressed is a social construct. I do not demonstrate my “maleness” by slaying a lion on the Veldt and bringing home the skin. I do so by slogging off to the office every day and smoking chicken leg quarters on the weekend.

  41. It’s been some time. I can do some research. As for statistics on divorce, I think you can get them from the National Center for Health Statistics. As of now, from the ratio of divorces to extant marriages you can predict that about 40% of generic marriages will end in divorce. Regarding 1st marriages, I think the figure is lower but not much, 35% perhaps. Not sure how that co-varies with the age of the groom at marriage. It has been my understanding that age at first marriage is associated with marital durability – up to a point. Past age 25, the gains to be had from further delay seem to evaporate, though this may be because the gains are cancelled out by the declining calibre of the pool of people left to be married.

  43. There are a LOT of things that don’t occur to her. A typical way complementarity and division of labor operate in marriages is for mothers to take the primary role in teaching children manners. So when the couple go out to eat, of course it is the mother who supervises how the children behave. It’s not that the husband is “useless” or unwilling to help his wife in this regard, but rather that she specializes in this — it’s her “field,” so to speak — and he does not feel authorized to intrude in this area, because his intrusion would imply that his wife isn’t doing “her job” proficiently.

    Of course, I can’t judge the parenting/marriage arrangements of people I’ve never met and (contrary to what anyone might expect) I’m not rigidly traditionalist about these things. By contrast, the feminist observes a family with a more or less “traditional” division of parental roles and immediately jumps to the conclusion that this arrangement is the result of the “useless father” who has imposed certain duties on his wife by his own laziness, incompetence and/or sexist beliefs. While it is possible that this feminist interpretation is correct in some cases, quite often the “traditional” family is that way because of the wife‘s preference for that arrangement. Unless we are willing to impose a modern/egalitarian arrangement on families, then, we must defer to the individuals involved in these relationships. Why do feminists want to meddle in the private lives of strangers? Isn’t that what they accuse conservatives of doing?

  44. And, as you point out in your correct assessment of feminist no-win misandry, if the men HAD done those actions instead of their wives, the radfem in question would be screaming “patriarchal social shaming of womyn!”

  45. When my first daughter was born, I chose as my role model Rhett Butler, the way he doted over Bonnie. The extra-proud, extra-involved father — that was me, and I didn’t need feminism to tell me to do this, just Gone With the Wind.

    Margaret Mitchell was a very perceptive woman, and that image of Rhett Butler, living down his scoundrel reputation by courting the approval of Atlanta’s society women, in order to obtain a proper social status for his daughter, was extremely insightful. There is something about the Proud Papa — the father who is deeply concerned with the welfare of his children — that women naturally admire. I’ve learned a lot about life from studying Gone With the Wind, the most successful book ever written by a woman, because of course, I’m a hateful misogynist.

  47. Besides, if a man tries to help the kid to the salad bar, wife’s just going to notice how wrong he did it and do it over herself.

    BINGO! Why should he interfere with an arrangement that works — volunteering to help her with a task that she can do better than him — when his inferior performance of that task will only make her angry? I swear, if I could just get some of these feminists to attend a conference and study BASIC ECONOMICS, I really think some of them might experience a soul-changing breakthrough. DIVISION OF LABOR and SPECIALIZATION are the absolute berock of civilization, and it is in the family that this should be most obvious, since the family is the basic unit of society. Women’s traditional control of the domestic sphere isn’t something that was “imposed” on them by male tyrants, but rather was simply necessary to human survival for many thousands of years. Modernity (both in terms of technology and culture) have somewhat reduced this survival factor, and yet it is still true that the family that is more traditional is also generally more successful in the ways that really count.

    Of course, anything that is traditional is automatically hated by the Left, no matter how successful the tradition may be.

  48. Sure, but you have plenty of time to correct them before the food comes. And after. And about not eating like they were brought up in a barn. And they can also learn behavioral expectations while at church, Bible study, shopping, waiting rooms of all sorts, and visiting. There’s a never-ending supply of correction opportunities, so I personally don’t see anything wrong with the parents having ten minutes of peace while they’re eating out. And even then, I can still lean over and whisper terrifying threats in somebody’s ear while I’m eating. When mine were young, strangers always complimented us on the false assumption that our kids were perfect angels.

    Once, when my son was 5, I told him that when he grew up, I hoped that he had kids that acted just like him. He said, “That’s not very nice, Mommy”.

  49. I spent most of my unmarried childless earlier years providing expert commentary on the poor parenting skills of those unfortunates surrounding me. I am happy to say I was a clueless idiot back then. If you haven’t lived it, you are barely qualified to comment.

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