‘Tunnel Girl’ Update: Why KiwiFarms Is Better Than Mainstream Journalism

Posted on | January 4, 2024 | Comments Off on ‘Tunnel Girl’ Update: Why KiwiFarms Is Better Than Mainstream Journalism

Jacob Lorei (left) a/k/a “Kala”

In my previous post, I expressed dismay that KiwiFarms didn’t have a “lolcow” thread about “Kala,” the TikTok personality who is digging an (apparently illegal) tunnel under “her” Northern Virginia home. Now I must apologize to the KF crew, after a commenter pointed out that there was such a thread, which I hadn’t found because it was in a development section of the Farms only available to registered users.

Oh, boy, what a total dox — complete with a college yearbook photo circa 2006 (above left) when Jacob Thomas Lorei was attending Gannon University in Erie, Pennsylvania, and not studying engineering. It appears that “Kala” has a day job doing some kind of computer software work, and has legally changed his name to Pranavi Kalavathamma Lorei, so that he is not only pretending to be a woman, but also pretending to be Indian (not the Elizabeth Warren kind). The Kiwi Farmers have the exact address where Kala is constructing the “tunnel”/creepy underground lair, as well as information about “businesses” Kala runs from this address, and some drama about the eviction of a former roommate/tenant.

Compare the excellent investigative reporting of KiwiFarms with the deliberately dumbed-down output of so-called “professional” journalists:

It’s only a few days into 2024 and we’ve already got “Northern Virginia woman builds likely illegal underground tunnel system under her home” on our bingo card.
The amateur engineer going by “Kala” on her “engineer.everything” TikTok account has become known as “TikTok tunnel girl” for her videos showcasing the construction of a series of tunnels underneath her home (she’s posted more than 200 dating back to October 2022). Many videos feature her welding, stacking cinder blocks, dumping rock, and talking through engineering challenges she’s encountered while constructing the “underground tunnel system” 22 feet below the Northern Virginia surface.
Kala, who has asked news outlets not to share her legal name, admits in her TikToks that she’s not a professionally trained structural engineer (though she is a software engineer). She’s made a point to note in her videos that she’s learning new hands-on skills, and she’s highlighted several setbacks and challenges to the project.

See what I mean? The reader who is curious about “Kala” — wondering what kind of crazy person would do such a thing — gets no clue from the professional journalist, who voluntarily plays along with the deception (“Kala . . . has asked news outlets not to share her legal name”) that conceals the most relevant facts about this kook who (a) bears a more than passing resemblance to infamous mass murderer Adam Lanza and (b) could be doing that “Buffalo Bill” thing from Silence of the Lambs.

It would be wrong to imply that “Kala” is a homicidal maniac who was digging this “tunnel” for criminal purposes, but on the other hand, I wouldn’t accuse you of paranoia if you expressed such suspicions.

NBC News was the first national media to cover the “TikTok tunnel girl” saga, back in November, but read that story and see if you get any hint that “Kala” is actually transgender, and in fact is a white guy pretending to be a woman of Indian ancestry. They used an image of “Kala” lifted from “her” social media, and hello, face filters? That picture is a disguise in more ways than one, and why do you think Jacob/“Kala” is so intent on concealing his/“her” true identity? Would you guess that, perhaps, Jacob/“Kala” is deriving income from his/“her” TikTok/YouTube based on the audience’s belief that “Kala” is actually a woman?

There are a lot of questions about this person that NBC News and other “professional” media outlets evidently didn’t bother to ask, and they are therefore guilty of misleading the public — undermining their own credibility, kind of like how “Kala” is undermining the foundation of his/“her” home with that tunnel. If KiwiFarms is providing more reliable journalism than NBC News, whose fault is that?

Category: Gays, Journalism

In The Mailbox: 01.04.24

Posted on | January 4, 2024 | Comments Off on In The Mailbox: 01.04.24

— compiled by Wombat-socho

Silicon Valley et Hamas delenda sunt.

Big mood.

OVER THE TRANSOM
EBL: Claudine Gay Resigns As Harvard President, also, Michael Medved Off Seattle Conservative Talk Radio
Twitchy: State Department’s Reminder About Needing A Valid Passport Gets The Photo Disclaimers It Was Begging For, Jemele Hill Reminds Us It Was “Never Proven” That Claudine Gay Plagiarized, and Special K Has A Hot Take On Razor Wire & Illegal Immigration
Louder With Crowder: Aaron Rodgers GOES THERE on Jimmy Kimmel and Jeffrey Epstein, and the late-night “comedian” is threatening a lawsuit, Methodist Church In UK Declares Terms Like ‘Husband’ And ‘Wife’ Are Now Offensive, and Woman Who Called For “Size-Inclusive” Hotels Now Promoting Fat Con. Yes, A Convention For Fats To Promote Fatness
Vox Popoli: Don’t Say Gay at Harvard, Connected Somehow, and Fire at Will
Draw & Talk: My Dreams Pooped On My Face (2023 Recap)
Stoic Observations: The Deep American
Gab News: Gab’s Bold Vision For 2024 – An Uncensored AI Platform

RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES
Adam Piggott: Prepare to meet the consequences of your faggotry
American Conservative: Maduro Fools Biden Again
American Greatness: Harvard President Claudine Gay Resigns Amid Antisemitism and Plagiarism Firestorm
American Thinker: The United States is in A Dark Place, also, Scientists Shocked to Discover That Male and Female Athletes are Different!
Animal Magnetism: Animal’s Hump Day News
Babalu Blog: Residents of Cuban town Manzanillo forced to clear or eat uncollected trash from their streets, Reports from Cuba: Suspension of rationed milk sales to chronically ill people in Sancti Spiritus, and Cuban dictatorship and its slave-trade client nations questioned by UN rapporteur
Behind The Black: Dunes on the floor of Valles Marineris, SpaceX launches six next generation Starlink satellites, and Sunspot update: Are we now in the next solar maximum?
CDR Salamander: F-35s & The Gods Of The Copybook Headings
Dana Loesch: Last Week In Legal – Holiday Edition, also, The AP’s Idiotic Defense Of Claudine Gay
Don Surber: Lady DEI Quits
First Street Journal: The left are aghast when conservatives use the same weapons liberals use
Gates Of Vienna: “Those Are the Worst of Creatures”, also, Hungarian President: “In many families, there is almost constant sickness”
The Geller Report: Biological Boy Steals First-Ever Girls’ Division I College Scholarship
Hollywood In Toto: Green Day Previews Hollywood’s 2024 War on Trump, New Jedi Order Director Gives Super Woke Film Update, Finding Hidden Meaning in Explicit Films, and Conservatives Shouldn’t Cheer Aaron Rodgers’ Hit on Jimmy Kimmel
The Lid: The Claudine Gay Debacle Is Another Moral Stain For “Elite” Education
Legal Insurrection: MIT President Sally Kornbluth Doubling Down on DEI After Gay’s Resignation, Hamas Deputy Terror Chief Saleh Al-Arouri Killed in Alleged Israeli Drone Strike in Beirut, Paper: How Pro-Hamas ‘Students for Justice in Palestine’ Hijacked U.S. Universities, Anti-Israel Girl Who Attacked Teenager in IDF Sweatshirt Graduated From Barack Obama School for Social Justice, and Rearranging Chairs On The Sinking Academic Ship – Claudine Gay Is Gone, But The DEI Problems Remain
Nebraska Energy Observer: Not quite ready but getting there
Outkick: National Title Ticket Prices Plummet, Packers Find Their Franchise QB In Jordan Love While Other Teams’ Experiments Failed, Jackson Mahomes Felony Sexual Battery Charges To Be Dropped, Witness Won’t Cooperate, Ohio State Player Makes Stunning Practice Claim In Now-Deleted Podcast, Michigan/Alabama Game Puts Up Absurd TV Ratings, and Woman Asks Vegas Reddit For Bachelor Party Surprise Suggestions, Receives Grade-A Responses
Power Line: “Anti-Racism” Is Racist, also, Better Late Than Never
Shark Tank: Steube Predicts Contempt Of Congress Charges For Hunter Biden
Shot In The Dark: Who Says Minnesota Can’t Win Championships?, Let’s Not Forget,
This Ain’t Hell: Two More Accounted For, Sorry media, the US military is not full of violent extremists, The US Army is taking applications for the new recruiting warrant officer field, and Wesley Clark Questions Iran Policy
Transterrestrial Musings: Claudine Gay
Victory Girls: Sex Trafficking Accusations Have Become Tribal
Volokh Conspiracy: “Purported Robberies Were Staged” to Support “Fraudulent Visa Applications”
Watts Up With That: Climate Impacts? Aussie Emergency Minister Slams Storm Warning Failures, America’s judiciary is quietly receiving ‘training’ from leftwing climate group, and Data Falsifies ABC News’ Claim that 2023 Displayed Dangerous Heat Trends
The Federalist: Biden Welcomes 2024 With More Lies About His Flailing Economy, This Arizona City Just Appointed A Democrat Ballot Harvester As Its Vice Mayor, Louisiana Supreme Court Allows Election Do-Over After 11 Illegal Votes Found In Race Decided By 1 Vote, Don’t Stop With Plagiarist Claudine Gay. Remove Every Useless, Overpaid University Administrator, NPR Hypes Doctors Who Downplay Obesity Risks To Spare Patients’ Feelings, ‘Diversity’ And ‘Academic Freedom’ Are Just Left-Wing Buzzwords, and Joe Biden Apparently Helped Hunter Defy A Subpoena, So Why Is Trump The One Charged With Obstructing Justice?
Mark Steyn: Live Around the Planet, also, Christmas Eve Lessons and Carols

Amazon Warehouse Deals
Up To 43% off Amazon Brands
Up To 47% off Vitamins & Supplements
Up To 40% off Health Essentials

Category: Linkagery

Why Doesn’t KiwiFarms Have a Lolcow Thread About TikTok’s ‘Tunnel Girl’?

Posted on | January 4, 2024 | Comments Off on Why Doesn’t KiwiFarms Have a Lolcow Thread About TikTok’s ‘Tunnel Girl’?

The two most important things to know about “Tunnel Girl” a/k/a “Kala Engineer” are (a) she’s not an engineer and (b) she’s not a girl, either. For some reason — perhaps TikTok has a policy against “transphobia” — nobody has pointed out the (b) part of that, even though “Kala” used the #transition hashtag on this video. But now “she” is headline news:

Influencer excavating massive tunnel 22 feet beneath her Virginia home ordered to stop
A TikToker known as “Tunnel Girl” for her unpermitted tunnel digging project at her suburban Washington, DC home has been slapped with an order to abandon the elaborate project due to “potential violations.”
“Kala the science girl” has amassed a half million followers while documenting the excavation of an underground tunnel system leading to a storm shelter off the side of her basement in Herndon, Va. since October of 2022.
Kala, who uses the handles @kalaengineer and @engineer.everything, has gradually shown her viewers the progression of a tunnel system that leads to a “sub-basement” chamber 22 feet below ground.
The Herculean effort entailed cutting through concrete, mining sediment, installing an elevator shaft to evacuate a thousand pounds of rocks up at a time, pumping out water, installing electricity and ventilation and dealing with setbacks like partial collapses and fires.
Part of her channel’s appeal seems rooted in her idiosyncratic presentation.
The woman claims to be an office worker by day and speaks in a robotic monotone voice while donning fashionable outfits, heavy makeup and manicured nails as she demonstrates her highly complex and dangerous home improvement project.
She works on the massive undertaking by herself in her videos, many of which appear to have been shot by someone else.
On Dec. 28, Kala posted a heavily-produced clip that showed her getting a visit from city officials who shut down the big dig.
“They did give me a stop work order and are requiring an immediate evaluation by a professional engineer,” she told viewers.
“Fortunately contrary to rumors here, it is constructed entirely below the slab of my house and it shouldn’t be too hard to get the permits and approval.”

The bit about the “robotic monotone voice” is what tipped me off that “Kala” is actually male. Also, clearly on the autism spectrum.

It would be one thing, I suppose, to dig a giant tunnel under your own home if you lived in a rural area. But this home is on a quarter-acre lot in a subdivision in the Northern Virginia suburbs of D.C. When the excavation struck ground water — holy crap! — it had clearly become unsafe, and a potential threat to the community. “Kala” may believe that it “shouldn’t be too hard” to get a permit to continue this insane project, but then again “Kala” shows a general tendency toward irrational beliefs.

The real scandal, though: What’s gone wrong at KiwiFarms that here you have an obvious psychotranny engaged in dangerous activity for TikTok clicks and there’s no “lolcow” thread for her? Do better, guys.

UPDATE: ‘Tunnel Girl’ Update: Why KiwiFarms Is Better That Mainstream Journalism

Category: The Transgender Cult

In The Mailbox: 01.03.24 (Morning Edition)

Posted on | January 3, 2024 | Comments Off on In The Mailbox: 01.03.24 (Morning Edition)

— compiled by Wombat-socho

Silicon Valley et Hamas delenda sunt.

RETVRN

OVER THE TRANSOM
EBL: Michigan beats Alabama in Rose Bowl OT, Washington beats Texas in Sugar Bowl, The Night Manager, and Isabella Maria DeLuca Makes Brown Butter Carmel Cake
Twitchy: Jamaal Bowman Sounds The Alarm To Protect Plagiarists, Kurt Schlichter Obliterates Rachel Bitecofer For Attacking His Military Service, and AP Highlights “New Conservative Weapon” Against Colleges, Gets Wrecked
Louder With Crowder: Hot Mic Catches ABC Anchor Saying Higher Ups Made Her Ditch the Epstein Story, Dave Chappelle drops brilliant trans joke on new Netflix special “The Dreamer,” but the handicapped get it worse, Elon Musk ROASTS Green Day’s embarrassing anti-MAGA pandering with “American Idiot” performance, and Watch: Biden Admin Space Force Lt. Colonel Claims Inclusion Is Totally A “National Security Imperative”
Vox Popoli: By Any Means, Libertarians and Clown World, A Tale of Two “Nationalisms”, The RCC Funds Mass Migration, and The USA’s Army of Illegals

RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES
American Conservative: ‘Be All You Can Be’ and the TikTok Mutiny
American Greatness: The Utter Insanity of Joe Biden’s Open Border, also, Over 230 Active Service Members and Veterans Sign Open Letter Calling For Accountability From Military Leaders Over COVID Misconduct
American Thinker: Let’s Stop Using the Words: ‘Trump Tried to Overturn the 2020 Election’
Animal Magnetism: Animal’s Daily Vibrating Pills News
Babalu Blog: A sumptuous New Year’s Eve buffet for foreign tourists in Cuba while Cubans went hungry, Nearly 6,000 protests in Cuba in 2023, and Cuban dictator Raul Castro makes rare public appearance, vows he’s not going anywhere
BattleSwarm: Stephen Fry: Antisemitism Is Wrong And All People Are Brothers. Woke Mob: Die Zionist Scumbag, Cartel Gunbattle Just South Of U.S. Border, and Dave Chappelle Takes On Transexual Madness Again
Behind The Black: The global launch industry in 2023: A record third year in a row of growth, with dark clouds lurking
Da Tech Guy: The great migration continues, also, Pushback Under the Fedora
First Street Journal: Property rights are simply not respected in Philly, also, Another two bite the dust!
The Geller Report: Convicted Election Ballot Harvester Gloria Torres Appointed Vice-Mayor in San Luis, Arizona, EVIL CLOWN SHOW: WH Press Secretary claims “It is shameful” to send illegal aliens to sanctuary cities, and Serial Plagiarist and Liar Harvard President Claudine Gay FINALLY Resigns
Hollywood In Toto: The Less You Know About All of Us Strangers, the Better, The Best of the Rest: 2023 TV Highlights Worth Revisiting, Chappelle’s Dreamer Review – No Retreat, No Surrender, Chappelle Co-Creator: Doing Show Today Would Be ‘Pain in the A**’, and Bill Engvall Shares Shocking Truth Behind Retirement
Legal Insurrection: The Anti-Semitism We See Today Can be Traced to the ‘Anti-Racist’ Left, Harvard President Claudine Gay Resigns, Plays Victim and Blames Racism, Japan Begins Recovery Efforts After New Year’s Day Swarm of Earthquakes, U. Delaware’s New Economics Workshop Covers Taylor Swift, and Rabbi In Harvard Crimson: It’s Time to ‘Confront and Overcome’ Anti-Semitism on Campus
Nebraska Energy Observer: Ultimately
Outkick: NFL Fines Panthers Owner David Tepper $300,000 For Throwing Drink On Fan, Jimmy Kimmel Threatens Legal Action Against Aaron Rodgers After QB Suggests TV Host Is On Epstein Client List, Emotional Rashard Mendenhall Tries To Justify Anti-White Rant, Iowa Coach Shares Blunt Warning For Future Of College Football, Oklahoma Player Viciously Booed By Texas Fans While Being Recognized For Charity Work During Halftime Of Sugar Bowl, and ESPN Boobs Apologize For Showing Boobs During Sugar Bowl
Power Line: Sowell Strikes Back, Exit Claudine Gay, and What Claudine Longet did to Spider Sabich
Shark Tank: Rep. Mills Tells Biden “Shut Down The Border Or Shut Down The Government”
Shot In The Dark: Amicus Curiae, A Parable For Our Time, and “Unintended” Consequences
This Ain’t Hell: Iranian destroyer to Red Sea. Y’all play nice, now
Transterrestrial Musings: In Which Trump Is A Fool, Steamboat Willy, and Two Weeks To Trial
Victory Girls: Harvard’s Claudine Gay Out As President – Win For Sanity
Volokh Conspiracy: In This House We Believe in Keeping People Safe
Watts Up With That: Germany: “Renewable Energy Sector Facing The Abyss”…”On The Brink” …Economy Breaking Up, also, The Climate Movement Suffered A Slew Of Defeats And Setbacks In 2023
The Federalist: Why SCOTUS Will Likely Smack Down Two Of Jack Smith’s Get-Trump Charges As Non-Crimes, Report: U.S. Sets Record For Most Single-Month Illegal Encounters At The Southern Border, After Veto Siding With Trans Lobby, Ohio Voters Should Transition Mike DeWine Out Of Office, New York Times Laments House Republicans Didn’t Ram Through Enough Big-Government Legislation, and We Should Think About Rome — But Not For Her Glories
Mark Steyn: Two Weeks to Trial

Amazon Warehouse Deals
Up to 38% off powders & shakes from Premier Nutrition
20% off Snack Box Care Package
30% off Recess Zero Proof

Category: Linkagery

Pouncing? Yes, But Also Seizing: GOP Gets Credit for Resignation of Harvard University’s Plagiarist President

Posted on | January 3, 2024 | Comments Off on Pouncing? Yes, But Also Seizing: GOP Gets Credit for Resignation of Harvard University’s Plagiarist President

Speaking on behalf of the “far right,” I must express our collective gratitude to the media for recognizing our work. Strange as it might seem, some journalists apparently believe it’s a bad thing to force the president of Harvard University to resign amid a plagiarism scandal, which followed close on the heels of Claudine Gay’s failure to condemn anti-Semitism. It was not anything that Gay did wrong, they tell us, but rather “a conservative-stoked firestorm” that brought her down:

Gay served a total of just six months as university president, the shortest tenure in the school’s nearly four-century-long history. She was the first Black person and just the second woman to lead Harvard. . . .
Gay received national scrutiny in December when she, MIT president Sally Kornbluth, and University of Pennsylvania president Elizabeth Magill testified before the House Education and Workforce Committee about their responses to incidents of antisemitism on their campuses.
Committee Chair Elise Stefanik asked the university presidents whether students chanting “intifada” violated the schools’ codes of conduct. Each president said it would depend on the context, with Gay pointing out that chants she finds “personally abhorrent” could still be protected under freedom of speech.
But the video clip that went viral — thanks to the right — showed the university presidents stumbling after Stefanik asked whether calls for genocide against the Jewish people should be forbidden, leaving out the longer disingenuous line of questioning.

See? It was a “disingenuous line of questioning” that provoked the Harvard president to defend the right of students to call for the genocide of Jews, and “thanks to the right,” the video went viral.

You’re welcome, America. To quote Treacher’s Law: “When a Republican screws up, that’s the story. When a Democrat screws up, the Republicans’ reaction is the story.” When the media tries to make the story about Republicans “seizing” and “pouncing” on a controversy, you know it’s about maintaining a narrative in which the GOP is always the villain, no matter how egregious the Democrat behavior in question may be. Hunter Biden makes millions of dollars peddling his father’s influence to shady foreigners, but if you watch CNN, the story is about how those mean Republicans are taking advantage of Hunter’s “struggles” with addiction.

“Republicans claim victory for Harvard president’s resignation” is the Politico headline, which is their way of telling their readership that this is a very bad thing those mean Republicans have done. Ed Driscoll at Instapundit has compiled a stack of reactions to the Harvard scandal.

Yeah, it was those dastardly right wingers who made her become a prolific plagiarist.

— Bonchie (@bonchieredstate) January 2, 2024

Ace of Spades also has a round-up, emphasizing that Gay’s plagiarism was not minor or trivial. In fact, it was so clumsy and widespread in her work that it’s hard to believe she didn’t get caught at the time she published the articles but . . . Uh, “the wind is tempered to the shorn lamb,” you might say. And I really don’t need to say much more, because I’m sure our “far right” commenters will have plenty to say on how it was that this academic fraud made it all the way to the presidency of Harvard.

Category: Scandal, The Ivy League Is Depraved and Decadent

In The Mailbox: 01.02.24

Posted on | January 3, 2024 | Comments Off on In The Mailbox: 01.02.24

— compiled by Wombat-socho

I had a pretty good 2023, actually.
Silicon Valley et Hamas delenda sunt.

Happy New Year, ya filthy animals.

OVER THE TRANSOM
357 Magnum: Ford’s Mustang Mach-E’s Software Update Bricks Your Car, also, Good Guys 1 Bad Guys 0
EBL: Lieutenant Dan Happy New Year, The Boys in the Boat, The Holdovers, Tom Smothers RIP*, and Slow Horses
Twitchy: Keith Boykin Demands Equal Scrutiny For All College Presidents & Twitter Agrees, Saira Rao “Genuinely Terrified” By “Zionist” Doctors Treating Black & Muslim Patients, and Nikole Hannah-Jones Reacts To Claudine Gay’s Resignation As Only She Can
Louder With Crowder: “I Will Not Project Colonial Concepts On My Dog”, Sanctuary City Mayors Warn Cities Will Collapse Due To Biden Border Crisis, Delta employee has NO patience for trans activist harassing him over pronouns, puts activist in its place, and Trudeau’s conservative opponent declares he’ll “defund the media” with a smile and to thunderous applause
Vox Popoli: Dead Internet to Fake Internet, The Consequences of Rejecting Truth, An Unexpected Hitler, Sykes-Picot is Dead, and Welcome to 2024
T.L. Davis: We Are Not One [h/t Loyal Reader B.E.]

RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES
Adam Piggott: I pray for the Sword, Christ is Born! Glorify Him! and The purposeful discord sown by the ambiguous Vatican on fag couples
American Conservative: The Sources of American Estrangement, The Path to a ‘Dormant NATO’, and An Admiral’s Augury
American Greatness: The Constitution Absolutely Prohibits Nikki Haley From Being President Or Vice President, Why Trump Is Correct About Presidential Immunity, Bidenomics Bogosity Will Unravel In 2024, and Erasing Trump from 2024 Ballot Is an Inside-the-Beltway Job
American Thinker: The Real Reason Trump is a Threat, Our Awakening Terrifies the Left, Happy New Year, Anyway, and The Great Taking: You Really No Longer Own Your Securities, and You Could Also Lose Your Freedom
Animal Magnetism: Happy New Year’s Eve! also, Happy 2024!
Babalu Blog: Some Cubans greet 2024 by burning an effigy of ‘president’ Díaz-Canel, Sixty-five years of communism and destruction in Cuba, Mexico gives Biden the finger, and Guyana requests 200 slave nurses from Cuba despite invasion threat by Venezuela
BattleSwarm: Another Case Of That Democratic Party Voting Fraud That Doesn’t Exist, Illegal Immigration Crisis Reordering French Politics, LinkSwarm For December 29, and Old And Busted: Botched Software Update Bricks Your PC. The New Hotness: Botched Software Update Bricks Your Car
Behind The Black: First Juno images of Io from December 30th fly-by, India completes first launch of 2024, and Republicans propose another deep state bureaucracy to enforce civil rights laws
CDR Salamander: DDG to FFG to OPV – Small Ships, Big Sticks, & Scaled Escalation
Chicago Boyz: New Year’s Eve 2023
Da Tech Guy: The Best Advice I can give to Start a Year, New Year New Indulgence Calendar, Illinois conservatives, start planning now for the 2028 constitutional convention vote, and DaTechGuy’s Top 5 Posts of 2023
Don Surber: It’s what they don’t say that matters
First Street Journal: Once again, The Philadelphia Inquirer pegs the irony meter, SEPTA wants more tax dollars, but just a $1.00 fare increase would wipe out their deficit, The only way to end protests which stop traffic is to not stop traffic for protesters, and An uplifting story in the Lexington Herald-Leader
Gates Of Vienna: Europe Looks Forward to 2024, A Green Holodomor for Germany? The Islamization of Spain is Unstoppable, A Calvary in the 8th Arrondissement, and The Rebirth of the Ottoman Empire
The Geller Report: World Ignores Muslims Butchering and Slaughtering Christians “For Sport” in Nigeria, 50,000 and Counting, Unhinged Muslims Attack Jewish Family in New Jersey, Massive NYPD Mobilization as Islamic Extremists Block JFK Punishing Travelers So They Can’t Return Home After New Year’s Eve, German Police Foil Islamic Terrorist Attack on the Iconic Cologne Cathedral on New Year’s Eve, Five More Muslims Arrested, and Muslims Attack the Police Across France: Riots, Arson, & Stoning
Glenn Reynolds: Claudine Gay Has Gone Away
Hollywood In Toto: Boys in the Boat Is Everything You Expect (But Somehow Less), Ferrari Races to First Place in Best of 2023 Competition, Ricky Gervais’ Armageddon Drops Atom Bomb on Woke Nation, Why Critical Drinker Avoids the Word ‘Woke’ (When Possible), and The 23 Best Television Shows of 2023
The Lid: How Will Modern Spin Doctors Address The Demise Of America’s Most Famous Eco-Terrorists? also, Is Occasional Cortex Half Right About Bethlehem?
Legal Insurrection: ‘Death to America, Death to Israel’, Portland Facing Shigella Outbreak, Generally Found in Third-World Countries, A Preview of California’s Newest Crime-Related Laws for 2024, Ex-Biden Energy Official Sam Brinton A Free Man Despite Facing Charges for Allegedly Stealing Luggage, The Fight to Stop California Politicians from Enshrining Racism in State’s Constitution, and Biden’s FCC is Adopting New ‘Diversity’ Rules to Take Control of the Internet
Nebraska Energy Observer: New Year – Keep up the Skeer, also, Heroes Still Defend the Dream
Outkick: Michigan Refuses To Go Into Off-Season Drama Just Yet, Defeats Alabama In Dramatic OT, Carolina Panthers Owner David Tepper Appears To Throw Drink On Jaguars Fan, What The Duck? Duck Dynasty Star Willie Robertson Helps Liberty Troll Oregon Ducks With Unique Hype Video, Kirby Smart Sounds Off On ‘Unfortunate’ State Of College Football Following Georgia’s Orange Bowl Blowout Of Florida State, Ravens Honored Ray Rice During Sunday’s Game Against Dolphins, and Heidi Klum Ends 2023 On The Beach Topless
Power Line: Degenerate Animals [Updated], Thoughts from the ammo line, Innocent Civilians? and The Welfare-Industrial Complex
Shark Tank: Luna Warns Of New Migrant Caravan – Says stand-Alone Border Security Bill Needed
Shot In The Dark: The Galling Part Is…
The Political Hat: Happy New Year!
This Ain’t Hell: Marines changing rifle marksmanship training & eliminating Scout Sniper school, A Chinese spy balloon communicated with China via an American internet provider, A year starts with contrasts: LCPL Dural vs. dirtbags, Covid “Declaration of Military Accountability” Letter, and Navy Sinks Houthi Gunboats
Transterrestrial Musings: Happy 2024
Victory Girls: Victory Girls Predictions For 2024: Political And Non-Political, Happy New Year from Victory Girls, and Happy Houthis Year From the Pro-Palestinian Protesters In NYC
Volokh Conspiracy: Disunion, Slavery, and the Causes of the Civil War, Donald Trump and Section 3 of the 14th Amendment, and Are Hispanics Following the Path of the Irish?
Watts Up With That: Is the Low Snowpack this Year a Sign of Global Warming? Biden Admin Rolls Out Slew Of Regs Targeting Americans’ Appliances On Last Friday Of The Year, Cargo ship carrying burning lithium-ion batteries reaches Alaska, but kept offshore for safety, and Judge Resurrects Zombie Kids’ Climate Case: Expect More Eating of Brains
The Federalist: Minister Of Defense Profiles Both The Player And The Preacher In Reggie White, Aaron Sorkin Is The Real Villain Behind The Senate Sex Scandal, Russell Kirk Warned That Without Virtue, ‘Democracy’ Is A Dead End Here And Abroad, 50 Years Ago, Gulag Archipelago Unveiled A Haunted World, ‘GlitterBomb’ Creator Mark Rober Is Doing More To Foil Crime Than Democrat Cities Like San Francisco, and Barry Sanders’ Humility Is A Quality Modern Athletes Severely Lack
Mark Steyn: They Hate You Too, Not with a Whimper but a Bellow, and Unlucky Lindy: Billy Wilder and The Spirit of St. Louis

*To be honest, I never cared for Tom Smothers. His humor wasn’t funny to me, but he was decent with the yo-yo.

Amazon Warehouse Deals
Up To 41% off Health & Household Devices
Up to 32% off PuroAir HEPA Air Purifiers
Up to 48% off Cookware, Bedding, & Decor

Category: Linkagery

An Inauspicious New Year

Posted on | January 2, 2024 | Comments Off on An Inauspicious New Year

My brother and I saw it happen — on national TV!

The FBI needs to investigate the crime that happened Monday night in Pasadena, California — a case of identity theft, in which a group of young men claiming to be the University of Alabama football team perpetrated an implausible impersonation of the Crimson Tide. The fraudulent “football team” that took the field at the Rose Bowl looked nothing like the mighty Crimson Tide, which had defeated the defending national champion Georgia Bulldogs 27-24 to win the SEC title.

Let us stipulate that Alabama quarterback Jalen Milroe had been inconsistent all season long. His miraculous game-winning TD pass against Auburn — on fourth-and-goal from the 31 — was perhaps divine intervention, or else the Crimson Tide never would have gotten to the national championship playoffs. But the only reason the Auburn game was close enough to require such a last-minute miracle was because Alabama’s offense had been so listless and mistake-prone, committing 72 yards of penalties and converting only six of 16 third downs.

Nevertheless, having survived that scare, the Crimson Tide were more impressive against Georgia in the SEC title game, mounting two lengthy first-half drives to take a 17-7 lead at halftime, and then holding off the Bulldogs in the second half. While I wasn’t confident about Milroe and the offense going into Monday night’s game, I felt like ’Bama could rely on its defense, which had proved itself sturdy.

My brother Kirby and I went to Buffalo Wild Wings to watch the playoff game against Michigan, and were ecstatic when a muffed punt return by the Wolverines set up a touchdown that gave the Crimson Tide a 7-0 lead.

Alas, the Alabama defense — or I should say, the identity thieves impersonating the Alabama defense — let Michigan march right down the field to tie the game, and I began to fret, which required me to order another Yuengling (for medicinal reasons, a treatment prescribed by my Samoan attorney as the cure for fretting). Michigan had a 13-10 lead at halftime, and I ordered the All-American Cheeseburger (which isn’t prescribed treatment for anything, but Bert the Samoan attorney assures me it’s still a tax-deductible business expense). During the third quarter, Alabama kept Michigan pinned down deep in their own end of the field, and then mounted a 55-yard drive that ended in a touchdown that gave the Crimson Tide a 14-13 lead early in the fourth quarter. Alabama later added a field to go up 20-13 with 4:41 left to play and I thought to myself, “Winner, winner, chicken dinner.” Surely now the Alabama defense would choke the life out of the Wolverines, and we’d be onto the national championship game. But as I say, the “Alabama defense” were obviously a crew of impostors, who had somehow sneaked onto the team bus in an elaborate conspiracy. For all we know, the real Alabama defense is still being held hostage somewhere in Pasadena. Why isn’t the FBI investigating this crime? Or is the FBI part of the cover-up? Probably the CIA’s in on it, too, not to mention the Bavarian Illuminati.

The criminal conspiracy resulted in Michigan scoring a touchdown that tied the game at 20, requiring overtime (and also requiring me to order another Yuengling, on advice from my Samoan attorney) during which the San Andreas Fault suddenly erupted in a cataclysmic earthquake and the entire state of California collapsed into the Pacific Ocean.

Wait a minute. Let me check my notes . . .

No, the cataclysmic earthquake was what I wished would have happened, instead of what actually did happen, which is a permanent stain on the hitherto honorable reputation of the state of Alabama.

So, 2023 was a bad year — R.I.P., John Hoge — and 2024 has gotten off to an inauspicious start, which I now intend to forget ever happened. (“Game? What game? Why are you asking me these questions?”)

It’s been three whole years since the last time Alabama won a national championship. I blame Joe Biden. And also the Bavarian Illuminati.

My brother picked up the tab at Buffalo Wild Wings, which somehow makes me feel even worse. The only thing that can cheer me up is if you’ll remember The Five Most Important Words in the English Language:

HIT THE FREAKING TIP JAR!