In Bizarre Gardening Accident, Piers Morgan & Lawrence O’Donnell Become World’s First Post-Uteral Siamese Twins
Posted on | May 4, 2012 | 2 Comments
ROCHESTER, MN–Doctors at the Mayo Clinic announced that they had stabilized the two, who were Platonically pruning periwinkles in the garden when beset by an escaped zoo lion. Conrad Murray was in the area, and the situation only got weirder from there.
Spokesmen from the Ministry of Truth revealed that the two men are joined at the back of throat, facing away ,at right angles, speechless, and on feeding tubes. Surprisingly, this is not expected to impact either of their shows:
- Their viewer can’t watch them both simultaneously. As they will be sharing a studio for the time being, they’ll take turns being on the front side of a curtain to cover the off-duty body.
- The eventual separation operation is complicated by the difficulty distinguishing between the two, brought on by years of regurgitating the same, tired Commie talking points about gun control and Americans all being Socialists now.
- The necessary bad lip reading of their dialog will only underscore the case that they’ve actually been speaking out their backsides for years.
Get better, gentlemen. Please.