The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

The Not-So-Secrets of Success

Posted on | April 14, 2018 | No Comments

About five years ago — somewhere between the second Anthony Weiner scandal and the time the Kaitlyn Hunt saga made national headlines — I began to realize that our civilization was unraveling because parents were failing to give kids common-sense advice. Many young people (and not a small number of adults) were making bad decisions that predictably led to catastrophic results, because grown-ups had failed to warn them.

If you hope to succeed in life, you must first survive. You should avoid things that could lead to sudden death. Also, try to stay out of prison, and don’t do anything disgraceful. You don’t want the kind of “fame” obtained by Sydney Leathers or Miriam Weeks a/k/a “Belle Knox.”

“Don’t be a weirdo,” I began warning my kids, after my research led me into the bizarre nightmare of insanity that is Feminist Tumblr.

 

What’s genuinely troubling about weirdos like Zachary Antolak (a/k/a “Zinnia Jones,” a/k/a “Satana Kennedy”) is the thought that, once upon a time, the Antolak family welcomed the birth of a baby boy, hoping — as parents naturally do — that he would grow up to be a responsible and respectable adult, someone who would bring honor to their family.

What about Ella Dawson, the feminist who made her name a synonym for “herpes slut”? Do you think that, on the day she was born, her parents said, “By the time she’s 25, our baby girl will gain worldwide fame for being infected with a sexually transmitted disease”? No, of course not, and what about the parents of Elliot Rodger? Do you think they hoped their son would grow up to become a mass murderer?

 

“Hey, kids, don’t be a homicidal maniac,” is the kind of parental advice that should be unnecessary, but we’re living in a world gone mad, and so I find myself saying things like that to my kids.

Every day, the headlines bring us tidings of some new atrocity, or SJW kooks seizing control of a previously respectable institution: “College hosts no-whites-allowed pool party” or “Professor Is Denied Tenure, Opens Fire in University Faculty Meeting, 3 Dead.” Why is this happening? Because parents are neglecting to warn kids against things that should obviously be avoided. Whereas kids are getting lots of so-called “positive” advice — floss regularly, eat your vegetables, stay hydrated, etc. — they aren’t getting the kind of negative advice they need in the 21st century. Like, don’t shoot people at the faculty meeting. You might suppose that someone with a Ph.D. in neurobiology from Harvard wouldn’t need to be told that, but apparently she never was.

With this in mind, here is a short (and by no means exhaustive) list of things that parents should warn their children to avoid:

  • Communism
  • Heroin
  • Pornography
  • Canada
  • Canadian pornography
  • Herpes
  • Feminists
  • Feminists with herpes
  • Facial piercing
  • Tattoos
  • Anyone with an anime character as their Internet avatar
  • “Sexting”
  • Internet dating apps
  • Syphilis
  • Conspiracy theories
  • “Charismatic” cult leaders
  • Gender Studies majors
  • Chlamydia
  • Rape
  • Al Gore
  • “Social justice”
  • Gonorrhea
  • Murder
  • Anyone who has ever worked at Disney or Nickelodeon

As I say, this list is not exhaustive, but you’d be surprised at how many young people have ruined their lives by failing to avoid these dangers. And remember, kids: You have the right to free speech, but you also have the right to remain silent. Mind your posture, don’t mumble, be courteous, and don’t hang around losers who drag you down.



 

 

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