The Other McCain

"One should either write ruthlessly what one believes to be the truth, or else shut up." — Arthur Koestler

U.S. Postal Service Anti-Terrorist Campaign Halts Suspicious Delivery

Posted on | July 9, 2011 | 7 Comments

Wow! You’ve got to admit, those U.S. Postal Inspectors are really on their toes. Someone tried to send me a package — which “contained a confirmable CARD to the tune of US1,500,000.00 USD” — but the package got held up due to the “USA Government Anti-Terrorist Campaign.” I never would have known about this if the USPIS hadn’t sent me an e-mail telling me that I need to give them an affidivat number, and “the cost of the Affidavit is US$158.”

The really scary part? This urgent e-mail (with the subject line “Parcel Withheld for Security Reason”) somehow ended up in my spam folder, along with all those bogus Nigerian phishing scam e-mails. However, because I just happened to be checking my spam folder, I saw this urgent notice:

UNITED STATES POSTAL INSPECTION SERVICE
PO BOX 555, NEW YORK NY 10116-0555

This is to notify you that we have intercepted your parcel from UPS COURIER SERVICE for some security reasons stated below:

Our scanning system has detected that your parcel contained a confirmable CARD to the tune of US1,500,000.00 USD.

Also for the Delivery of the Parcel to continue, you are in obligation to obtain from Spain, a Duly Sworn Affidavit from Spanish High Court which will back up the Origin of Fund. This is in line with the Anti-Terrorist Campaign which the USA Government has embarked on recently to protect our Territory from future attacks.

You should therefore contact the sender of the CARD or the UPS Courier Agent in Madrid Spain to get the Sworn Affidavit for you while we wait to receive from you the Affidavit File Number to enable us forward your CARD to your address.

Below the contact information. Note that the cost of the Affidavit is US$158 and do not hesitate to remit the amount to him.

Name: Mr Lewis Aries
Email address: [email protected]
Tel: 011 34634 126 539

We shall then forward the CARD to you and you will be sure of a genuine CARD that is coming to you. We are doing this for your interest considering the rate which fraudulent and stolen checks/CARD are been sent to our innocent citizen that most times put them in problem. Always send your correspondence to our secure email: postal_inspector@XXX.XXX

Your urgent action on this notice will be appreciated.

Sincerely,
Andrew Marshall
Chief Postal Inspector

My “urgent action” is to share this with all my blog readers, particularly anyone clever enough to contact “Mr Lewis Aries” and see if you can convince him that you’re from the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Because that would be freaking awesome, don’t you think?

Category: Crime, Foreigners, humor

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