The Todd Palin Legal Defense Fund

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Todd Palin helps his wife sign autographs after her Sept. 5 rally
in Manchester, N.H. (Photo by Peter Ingemi.)

A source who doesn’t need to hide behind a cloak of anonymity:

“This is a man who has been relentlessly stalking my family to the point of moving in right next door to us to harass us and spy on us to satisfy his creepy obsession with my wife. His book is full of disgusting lies, innuendo, and smears. Even The New York Times called this book ‘dated, petty,’ and [said] that it ‘chases caustic, unsubstantiated gossip.’”
— Todd Palin

During my trip to Wasilla last year, I told Todd Palin that if he had shot Levi Johnston, no jury in the world would have convicted him, and his wife’s poll numbers would have gone up.

Our conversation was informal and off-the-record, so readers are left to imagine Todd’s reaction, but certainly the Palins can’t be held responsible for every crazy thing a journalist says. (It was, after all, merely a hypothetical.) And neither can the Palins be blamed for what I’m suggesting now.

Joe McGinniss deserves The Mother of All Ass-Whuppings, and Todd Palin ought to give him exactly what he deserves.

So I’m asking readers to go make a $25 donation to SarahPAC to help defray Todd’s legal expenses when he shows up at McGinniss’s first book signing and pounds that scurvy worm into a bloody pulp.

Please give $25 to SarahPAC, so that we can bail Todd Palin out on that assault charge — and then fly him to the next Joe McGinniss book signing to deliver yet another brutal ass-whupping.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

Just give $25 to SarahPAC, you see, and we’ll cover Todd Palin’s legal expenses and fly him to wherever Joe McGinniss appears in public, turning McGinniss’s book tour into a nationwide beatdown tour.

After McGinniss gets out of the hospital from his first ass-whupping, he’ll probably get a restraining order against Todd. Still, Random House will be forced to hire armed security to protect Creepy Joe because, hey, what’s a restraining order to an insulted husband who’s got thousands of loyal supporters donating $25 each to cover his legal expenses?

Bonus suggestion: Sarah PAC should hire a documentary crew to chronicle Todd Palin’s “One Nation Joe McGinniss Ass-Whupping Tour.”

Proceeds from sales of the DVD would go to defray Joe McGinniss’s medical bills. “Compassionate conservatism” and all that.

TODD PALIN FOR FIRST DUDE
Because Once His Wife Is President, He Can Start
Whupping Asses in the White House Press Corps

UPDATE: Linked by Da Tech Guy, God’s Own Crunk, Republican Redefined and Jay Tea at Wizbang — thanks!

Meanwhile, dismayed by the number of commenters who think I’m (merely) joking: TODD PALIN DEFENSE FUND UPDATE!

147 comments

  1. OK.  That’s it – I’m convinced.  $25 on the way to SarahPAC, and I claim dibs on an early copy of the ass-whupping action on DVD…

  3. Hey, I’ve got it!  Putting the Palin/McGinniss Apocalypse on Pay Per View should raise enough to hire Johnnie Cochran as a defense attorney, with enough left over to buy ArctiCat.

    Or maybe not.  I have a feeling that one punch from a pissed-off Todd Palin would separate Joey’s head from his body and propel it into a previously-undiscovered plane of existence, and no one’s likely to pay to watch a one-second fight.

    Sigh.  Back to the drawing board…

  4. And an army of attorneys would happily offer their services pro bono to defend Mr. Palin. A stellar idea. The DVD will be a monster seller. I’ll take two.

  6. I’d send him twenty-bucks if his wife would get rid of that ‘alien-head’ giant bump atop her head.  Seriously, what in the heck is it with that giant bump she wears on her head?

  7. Well, I think the haters and the smear artists on the left have finally used up all the ammunition. They are now throwing the chairs, pillows and plates in one last futile attempt to destroy her and she has weathered it all.

    Remember how they dropped the George Bush drunk stuff towards the end of that campaign?   Well,  this time they had to use the really crappy stuff too early.  Its still over a year to the election and as they look around for more ammo, the bin is bare. Nothing left.

    Now Sarah can laugh it off, pull out her cannon and proceed to change politics flying the crony corporate capitalism banner. She can be President if she wants it.

  8. I agree that the author of this book (being discussed) quite likely has “an obsession” with Palin (so I agree with Todd Palin about that, that it’s at least quite likely), BUT, it also describes the wife’s fans, many of whom display disturbing obsessions with her.  I (sincerely) pray to God that she’s not the GOP nominee; our nation needs a sobering cycle, not another one of these personality cults.

  11. What a great idea.

    SarahPac could give people the opportunity to sponsor an ass whuppin’ for $25 bucks a pop.

    Just like sponsoring a child to go to summer camp. You can buy as many ass whuppings you want.

     He could even have a section of the book tour be a “charity ass whupping”. Where he donates half of all sponsored ass whupppings proceeds to a veterans charity.

  12. Palin’s fans are not a “personality cult”. They are not like the Obama fans of 2007 (who have abandoned him for the most part). They are ordinary folks who admire her for her record and want her to be Prez b/c they trust what she will follow through on her convictions in the WH. 99% of Palin’s supporters will support the GOP nominee if it is not her, as will Palin. She has been “ABO” – anybody but Obama the entire time.  I repeat, people like me admire her and want her him  power not because of her personality, but b/c of her record and what we believe she will do as Prez.

  15. If you take the time to actually look at her policies on the issues confronting our nation, you’ll see that they’re well thought out positions.  She has a very sober and serious view of where our country is right now and what needs to be done to start turning it around.

  18. As an alternative to an “ass whupping”, couldn’t Ms Palin file a slander suit against the guy?  Assuming, of course, his stories are not true.

  19. Stacy, please.

    Todd Palin is one thing if not a Christian Gentleman. He is not going to whup ass on a 67 year old man. Joe McGuinness is a mean, obsessed little partisan hack who doesn’t deserve five minutes of Todd Palin’s time. 

    Besides, McGuinness has basically soiled his own reputation by driving down Andrew Sullivan Lane and careening into the cul-de-sac of Trig Truth. He hated Palin so much that he couldn’t help himself. All the Palin Deranged Obsessives end up in the Wilderness Of Mirrors created by Sarah’s youngest son. It’s as if her smallest child has become her secret weapon against her most vicious and spiteful foes.

    Joe McGuinness once wrote a decent history of the Nixon Campaign called Selling of the President, 1968. Now, he dabbles in Trig Truth like an upmarket version of The Gryphen. In the winter of his writing, this is all that Joe has got left.

    This is not worth ruining Todd’s reputation for, hard won and well kept as it is.

  21. I know this goes against my grain, but that I would pay to see, just because Gary Trudeau has taken a decent strip and made it into a parody of what it once was. 

    Doonesberry used to be a decent, innovative, yes, liberal comic strip that stopped being that way about the end of the  First Reagan Term. Trudeau now is sort of like Jon Stewart, a Court Jester for the Ruling Class, who recycles old memes and jokes from when he was young, only with different Republican targets.

    What a con man. Trudeau needs to retire before the general public hires Todd Palin to whip his ass for what he has done to a once-great comic strip.

    BTW, the same thing is happening to The Boondocks.

  23. I “liked” your post for the quality of the writing, s9.

    But you do know that Stacy is joking, right?

    At least I think so.

    But it would be a hoot if SarahPac did end up getting an uptick in donations through the “bustour” link.

    Thanks, Stacy. 🙂

  24. I love your posts, but this is tongue planted firmly in cheek that Stacy humorously writes to get people to donate or contribute to something. In this case to Sarahpac.
    Keep up the good fight section9. ; )

  27. I absoultely despise and hate mudrakers like Andrew Sullivan and Joe McGinniss.  I do not mind if you do not care for Sarah Palin.   But the over the top attacks of her, and the blantent hypocrisy of the left, only makes me like her more (and hate them more). 

    I will never forget these attacks and those who participate in them are forever dead to me. 

  30. Whatever it is, she makes it look good.

    Compare to that annoying chick in those annoying “Progressive Insurance” ads.  Should’a named it “Radical Leftist Insurance”.

  31. The tabloids had headlines about “W” going on “drinking sprees” in the WH, with Laura threatening divorce, up until the day he moved out.

    Watch for the same with a President Palin. Or Perry, Or whatever.

  32. haven’t  you noticed that they no longer call TEA Party people terrorists, hobbits, racists, teabaggers (well, yeah they still use that one but dumb is dumb), hanging black people from trees, etc. – although Hoffa still calls us sons of bitches – but now it’s gonna be racist and dirty – typical

  34. Not to disparage the attorney who added “If the glove doesn’t fit, you must acquit” to our lexicon, but I think the defense fund should hire a living lawyer.

  36. Donation sent.

    Stacy,

          Is there any way to find out if this slanderous book and your post resulted in a significant uptick in donations?

  38. Looks like Todd just used the usual Palin countermeasures:  attack the messenger, not the message.  

    Oh, and portray the enemy du jour as an oversexed pervert.  Again.  Yawn…

  39. You going after Shirley Tripp also, and Glen Rice that admits the affairs, Tripp passed lie detector tests, how would Sarah & Todd do on them??? If this is a lie let the Palins sue, but they won’t, because they know it is true, this is just another way to add to Palins bank accounts. McGinniss could be like Todd did, anyone he didn’t want at the book signings he had escorted out by his AIP criminals, couldn’t take the heat. What a bunch of Gifters, hope the Feds  are watching,, and no they won’t donate proceeds to a charity, for them charity begins at home, show me where they donated to any charity.

  40. Brilliant Post Mr. McCain. I sent SarahPAC $100 the other day so 4 Ass-whoopings coming. I would like to participate myself.

  41. Well well. Poor Palins. Always the 1st reaction of a reptile is emotional and violent. How’s it feel to be vampires on a day pass? To encourage violence over a book that HAS NOT BEEN RELEASED YET only proves the authors point. The Palin’s are petty, mean and vindictive. Judging from Todd’s reaction I am sure the book is true. Let’s remember that the author WAS INVITED to move in next door. Get it? INVITED!. While the Palin’s were filming a “reality” show.  The Palin’s are nothing more than white trash. They should be on the Jerry Springer Show. On 2nd thought, they don’t have enough class.
    http://andrewsullivan.thedailybeast.com/2011/09/supposedly-in-labor.html

  42. […] legally liable for libel. Then he took off his pseudo-lawyer hat, put on this dad fedora, said that Joe The Peeper deserved “The Mother of All Ass-Whuppings,” and offered to pre-emptively start a “Todd Palin Legal Defense Fund” should he choose […]

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