The Deadly Menace of Fake Boobs

Some critics have dismissed my oft-stated preference for natural breasts as mere ignorant bigotry against artficial enhancement, but now at last I’ve been vindicated by science:

Thousands of women ‘should’
have breast implants removed

Around 45,000 British women are known to have had Poly Implant Prothese (PIP) implants, which have since been found to have contained industrial silicone and have not passed medical regulations.
Authorities in France are expected to call in all women there who have been given PIP implants in order to have them removed and replaced.
British experts said that women here should consider having them removed for ‘peace of mind’ as they have a high risk of leaking.
Investigations have been conducted after some suspicious cases of cancer were found in women with the implants . . .

Thanks to Dan Collins for the e-mail tip. There should be no need to remind readers that Dr. Collins and I are co-founders of The Collins-McCain Institute for Therapeutic Breast Staring, and are available to assist or advise America’s women in all matters breast-related.

THE COLLINS-McCAIN INSTITUTE
We’re Here for You.  Because We Care.™

20 comments

  1. And while I’m on the subject . . . do you know what hitting Stacy’s tip jar is? A Mutually Beneficial Relationship.

  2. I volunteer my services to screen female breasts to insure their continued safe function. 

    No charge, I am merely concerned for the welfare of my fellow (female) human beings. 

    I merely ask that pictures (in color, and covering from the waist  to the top of the head) be sent with the appointment request, so that I can, ummmmmm, prioritize my workload.

  3. And, if you noticed, that’s exactly how it was reposted – as a public service for women’s health world-wide.

  4. Here’s a little TMI, but, it’s my nature. So I actually got a reduction. But can you believe the bozo doc wanted to “fill” the girls out with some silicone? I told him, hey! double DD is plenty big! Yes, they are real and yes, they are fabulous 🙂

  5. How about if a double mastectomy were involved and wife wanted to feel like a woman?
    Also, I agree, real is/are much better.

  6. Does this mean I have to sell off my inventory of (ahem) “Woodeze” silicone sealer and ZipLoc® sandwich baggies?

  7. I’m quite sure we all would much rather have natural to bigger, unless she’s a cancer survivor who wants what she used to have back.

  8. natural for me too.

    Your motto “We’re Here for You.  Because We Care.™” needs some work. Just doesn’t have the ring of “We Scare because we care.” How about “We stare because we care.” Not all that original, but sounds better.

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