Dear 5th Circuit …

Posted on Comments

by Smitty

So, like, this is a response to your way totally uptight letter dated April III, MMXII. Noting that it was dated, you know, April III, we figured that this was three times an April Fool’s joke, or something.

And so we’re including with this little memo your three single-spaced pages. Yeah, you might think “They’re blank!”, and stuff. But we worked totally hard to get a single space character on each one. Get it? Single spaced? Welcome to the ‘space age’ DOJ, Mike Foxtrot! I know you guys were all spun up, and thought you were gonna rich slap* us, but we figured you left us a totally easy out for a reason.

After all, you wouldn’t want to hassle us and cut into our party time, and whatnot. We’re just getting wrecked over here doing all of this political stuff for the re-election. People harshing our mellow with all these Fast & Furious questions, FOIA gras requests, like we’re some kind of a French restaurant or something. See what we did there?

Man, we don’t care what you guys in the 5th do with bouncing laws. Congress is paid by the law; they’ll just throw together some more crap like ObamaCare. Just as long as you make sure the ones you bounce are the ones we want you bouncing. Are you smelling what we’re stepping in?

Now save all your non-triumphant attitude for the next Republican administration, which will be. . .ha! We’ve got that rigged, and don’t worry your pretty heads how. There won’t be another Republican administration, and you won’t be getting your nose dislocated about the Administration’s opinions. Or maybe you will.

Cordially,
D. L. Kaersvang.

*The maneuver formerly known as ‘bitch-slapping’, but which has been newly toned into a slam on the 1%.

14 comments

  2. I wouldn’t put this kind of back channel response past these elitists. My article concerning the direction this admin (and our deluded and indolent society) are taking is here: http://t.co/txMPcezi. I hope anyone who actually reads it enjoys the research that went into it.

  4. Duuuude. Did, like, Iowahawk steal your identity. That’s like smokin’ some primo herb and stuff.
    Oh well, gotta go redact some FOIA requests…if I didn’t like already lose them, right? Later.

  6. I think the judge was fully within his rights.  When you have the boss of a party trying a case before you going on national television and essentially saying you have no or limited jurisdiction over him, and hinting he may seek to attack the independent judiciary through his angry mobs of ignorant supporters filled with rage and blood lust,  it certainly makes sense to ask them to clarify what he meant before proceeding.

  7. Looks like the POTUS struck a nerve.     And sort of smoked out the judicial activism he warned against……bravo!

  10. We do try to maintain certain standards around here, especially when it comes to spelling.

    So, in future, please spell your handle correctly: A Guy From Lithium Springs.

    You’ll never see the fnords if you maintain such low standards.

  12. Please tell me that they are actually stupid enough to “attack the independent judiciary through his angry mobs of ignorant supporters filled with rage and blood lust,”

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