Dear English Teachers: You’re Welcome

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What’s wrong with this headline?

Jason Collins’ Other Hidden Secret

Everybody was beating up on Howard Kurtz for the factual error of his story, but the headline was also ungrammatical. The possessive form of a proper name ending in “s” — e.g., Jones — requires the apostrophe-S: The pistol was found in Jones’s car. And, while we’re picking at nits, the plural in that case would be “Joneses.”

English grammar is extraordinarily complicated, and few of us are always right, but somewhere I hope my seventh-grade English teacher Mrs. Clark is smiling to think I remembered that rule. Now, if we could only persuade Justin Bieber to teach his fans subjunctive . . .

ADDENDUM: The past tense of “plead” is pleaded. I don’t give a damn how many times you’ve seen it or heard it as “pled,” that’s just wrong.

58 comments

  3. I was always taught that the apostrophe goes after the “s”, just like the headline did. My Little Brown Book of grammar agrees.

  4. BTW, how is your son? Mine is now in AIT at JFKSWC for Civil Affairs. Considering how often CA goes out with the snake eaters, they may meet sometime. I was a snake eater myself to a lesser extent (82d Abn x 2 tours).

  5. Wrong wrong wrong. “Pled” is a perfectly correct past tense of “plead.” Journalistic style-books are not the final or best word on English grammatical constructions or usage.

  6. Son is fine, now in Airborne school. I meant to post about his OSUT graduation, but have been distracted by trying to get back into the work groove since my return from Georgia.

  7. Damn it, McEnroe, why must you put such erroneous ideas into the heads of impressionable young readers?

  8. No, damn it — pleaded.

    I’ve sat through lots of newsroom arguments on this one, and the fact never changes that “pled” is just a lazy bullshit colloquialism that wormed its way into pseudo-respectability because the Grammar Nazis were too busy minding the its/it’s and your/you’re confusions.

    Every man must have a hill to die on, and opposition to “pled” is mine.

  12. Let’s beat up “its” and “it’s” while we’re at it. “It’s” is that rare exception to the rule about possessive apostrophes. The apostrophe is only used with “it” to indicate a contraction of “it is.” “It’s” ALWAYS means “it is.” The possessive “its” never uses an apostrophe:
    Mary’s apples were sour.
    I hate that apple tree — its apples are sour.

  13. Why must you think Stacy’s blog has little to none young readership?

    If that isn’t the case with your thought process, surely you should forgive Stacy for not mentioning the rather odd set of “impressionable old readers” which…perhaps includes you?

  14. Good for him. I was in jump school when Saigon fell. I still have my original wings that I will pass on to Scott when the time comes. I told him it would be fun and he loves it.

  15. I’d be less dogmatic about the apostrophe thing. It depends on which style book you’re using, so in one publication it would be right, in another, wrong.

  17. The past tense of “plead” is pleaded. I don’t give a damn how many times you’ve seen it or heard it as “pled,” that’s just wrong.

    How do you think we went from what Chaucer wrote to what we read today? English is a slow moving river that changes all the time.

  18. English is a slow moving river that changes all the time.—Evi

    The same goes with all other languages that survived.

    Every man must have a hill to die on, and opposition to “pled” is mine.—Stacy McCain

    Let that hill be beside a river called English.

  20. Stacy always leaded the pack when it came to grammar.

    Re apostrophes: Keeping up with the Joneses is correct and sensible. But to say Bob Jones’s monkey wrench is simply confusing, though less of a problem when written. Stay with Fred Jones’ pliers.

    Don’t argue with me on this—I’m a writer, and quite ornery.

  24. We all have our idiosyncrasies.

    I have two: I never eat blue M&M’s, and I always spell “grey” as ‘grey’, not that loud, ‘a’ version.

  25. I thought the idea was to keep shortening the alphabet. When we get it down to two letters, we’ll all be able to link directly with the Internet, and grammar and meaning will no longer be the adversaries of schoolboys and old poets.

  26. In the age of hip hop and texting, that river is moving much faster. Grammar is the process of slowing down the noise in peoples’ minds so they may access the ideas of the previous generation.

  29. Reminds me of something…

    A compilation of Dr. Seuss’ early cartoons and writings with the title “The Tough Coughs As He Ploughs The Dough” was something my younger son loved seeing. He was about nine at the time, and had read every book in the house about three times.

    He took one look at the title and said, “He missed one!” I said “What?” He replied, “The Tough Coughs As He Ploughs Through The Dough.”

    It took me a minute or two to understand what he was trying to say. It took me far longer to get the the item he slid right by me. I never would have noticed that missing word, and I’m a word geek.

    He went on to medal in the national Latin Exam, while simultaneously studying Japanese. Some people “get” language at a level at which the rest of us can only marvel.

  30. That looks like something from the 27bslash6 guy.

    I found it from the link behind that iconic image that’s always on the front page at thehostages, which is always a funny place to peek at when you need a laugh.

    Hmmm. Today’s front page at thehostages is a bit excessive. Usually it doesn’t roll in the juvenile as much as this. Oh well. Comedy is best left to the pros.

  32. This is what they’re teaching these days, but I have always done it Stacy’s way. The rat bastards of the Left have taken my Culture, they’re not going to take my s’s!

  38. Jump school was not fun at the time. It’s hilariouus now, after retirement, but not then.

  40. Dude – I was shocked – though very pleased to see my own face on The Other McCain. And, not for having done something knuckleheaded or morally repugnant (I know, that’s a fragment). Excellent.

  41. ABA says either pled or pleaded is fine. (Though, as I type, my spell checker claims pled isn’t a word.)

    I
    think Chicago says that how the possessive of a name ending in “s” is
    formed depends on how you would pronounce it: “Jones’s house,” but not
    “Roberts’s house.”

  43. Punctuation and grammar changes over time. In the old days, it was common to merely add an apostrophe after a proper noun ending in “s”, rather than add an apostrophe and an “s”, and you will see this in old books. (For example, Mark Twain always used just an apostrophe.) Today, this habit is not as common, but it is quite possible that it is allowed or even preferred in some style guides.

    Regarding the past tense of “plead”, both “pled” and “pleaded” are allowed by many dictionaries. It appears that this is a regional variation. The Oxford English Dictionary has uses of both “plead” and “pled” dating back to the 16th century, though “pleaded” appears to be more common. Which is correct would depend upon your editor and style guide.

  46. Thank God Little Miss Attila hasn’t seen this post. There would be dead bodies everywhere.

  47. Oh yeah? Then perhaps you’d care to tell the class what the hell a “peoples” is.

  49. Or which English teacher managed to put you on a lifelong collision course with the paradox of language: it’s highly specific, but can never be specific enough until art happens [and art can’t be described adequately with language (unless the writer manages to transcend the paradox)].

    You knew recursion was involved.

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