LOL! @NealRauhauser’s Demand to @Twitter: ‘No More Fun of Any Kind!’ UPDATE: Neal Deletes His Plan (Lulz)

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What a buzzkill this guy is, huh? So there I was, having stirred up a hornet’s nest with my “atheist sex scandal” post. My quarrel with a young renegade Baptist named Sarah Jones had just reached the point where the whole “neo-Confederate” thing came up and — boom! — somebody sends me a link to a Pastebin document in which Neal Rauhauser outlines his plan to ban all his enemies from Twitter:

Step 1. Don’t tweet much for over a year
Step 2. Build enormous Twitter Recording Machine, capture 2.8 million tweets
Step 3. Apply analytics using Maltego, Gephi, SplunkStorm, and JGAAP, nowhere to hide
Step 4. Build tweet to screen shot system, capture images of over 9,000 keyword hits.
Step 5. Wait patiently for long rumored Twitter rule change:

https://support.twitter.com/articles/18311-the-twitter-rules

Targeted Abuse: You may not engage in targeted abuse or harassment. Some of the factors that we take into account when determining what conduct is considered to be targeted abuse or harassment are:
* if you are sending messages to a user from multiple accounts;
* if the sole purpose of your account is to send abusive messages to others;
* if the reported behavior is one-sided or includes threats

Step 6. Publicly identify just some of the lucky permaban sweepstakes finalists

Then the list, which begins with Aaron Walker and Ali Akbar and continues on to include EVERYBODY NEAL RAUHAUSER HATES, among them Patterico, John Hoge, Mandy Nagy, and of course, me, followed by the completed plan:

Step 7. Provide a sample of 5,200 file names, watch the frantic deletion begin.
Step 8. Wait for dawning realization that deletion doesn’t matter when there is a long evidence trail.
Step 9. Record all the panic. Because lulz.

“Panic,” Neal? “Lulz”? Coming as it does from the notorious perpetrator of TwitterGate, and considering that several of the accounts you list have thousands of followers, compared to the 11 people currently following @NealRauhauser, I’m guessing that maybe the folks at Twitter won’t need much help figuring out who is the prime candidate for the “lucky permanban sweepstakes.”

Now, you gentlemen will excuse me, but there’s a young renegade Baptist — a regular spitfire — who simply demands to know my opinions on 19th century history. It’s so hard being me.

UPDATE: I’m told that the Pastebin of Rauhauser’s Sooper Sekrit Plan to Ban From Twitter EVERYBODY NEAL HATES has now been deleted, which is something you learn to expect. The dude has deleted more Internet content than most people create in a lifetime.

Notice how Neal expected that, by “publicly identifying” his enemies (as if we didn’t already know Neal hates us) he would inspire “frantic deletion” and “panic.” Instead, within an hour or so of my calling attention to his list of “lucky permaban sweepstakes finalists,” it was Neal who did the panicking and “frantic deletion.”

“Because lulz,” indeed.

Oh, also, Neal’s now up to 12 Twitter followers.

 

90 comments

  2. If only Neal would put as much energy into repaying the huge amount of money he owes to his kids as he does into his crazy schemes and ducking warrants the world would be a better place.

  4. Just for the record: many on that list are Liberals, including myself. On Vince In The Bay, Neal claimed to be a “moderate Libertarian minded Republican” even though he’s worked for Liberal political campaigns. More likely he’s a paid professional shit stirrer.

  5. Vintage Rauhauser, Master Social Media Terrorist: “OK, now don’t you look at my secret plan to win Twitter (www.dispshit.com/soopergeniusOHSHIT

  6. Well, if you’re going to insist on having a life off the internet, we’re gonna ride ya for it.

  7. “Enormous Twitter Recording Machine”– Maybe Michelle Malkin can sue him for infringement?

  8. Neal claimed to be a republican? That is hilarious. As you note, his only political employment that is public knowledge was for democrats like Raul Grijalva. Neal’s a democrat.

    I’ve seen Neal attack plenty of lefties. Your theory as to what he is makes as much sense as any, but I have never really grasped his ultimate reason for acting the way he does. He’s just not on a wavelength I can understand.

    I do recall that Weiner was paying tens of thousands of dollars to unnamed investigators to find out who “hacked” his twitter account. He kept these payments goind after he confessed he wasn’t hacked and resigned office. So what Weiner paying for?

    All this time, there is this bizarre and high scale harassment of Weiner’s critics, outting of his online critics, attempts to contact their workplaces, talking about family, etc. All in support of theories that exonerate Weiner for something Weiner already admitted. My guess has long been that Neal was brought in for ‘online reputation management’ and because this was his big chance to become a Hollywood style fixer, he became far too ruthless and everything fell apart.

    but who knows. That’s just a guess and I haven’t been paying much attention to these knuckleheads for months now.

  9. “Oh, also, Neal’s now up to 12 Twitter followers.”

    Heh. I’m always having to explain to people that if you click it again, you undo the “like” you didn’t mean to hit.

  10. “Oh, also, Neal’s now up to 12 Twitter followers.”

    Heh. I’m always having to explain to people that if you click it again, you undo the “like” you didn’t mean to hit.

    And Rush said Twitter is owned by the left. If that were tru, there wouldn’t be any need to collect tweets.

    Someone should ‘splain it to the man.

    By the way folks, it doesn’t take NSA resources to copy all of twitter. These days hard drives are cheap, big, and easy to deal with.

  14. Heh. You should see the list of idiots that want to be my roomie here in Purgatory! I wish it was as simple as being harassed by trolls, even though you get the top shelf crazies Stacy.

  21. I avoid linking his sites because of the potential for malware and even harassment of visitors who do not use a proxy. Be careful going to his sites.

  22. Yup, I’m aware of Neal’s penchants for leaving traps but this is audio from Vince In The Bay posted by me on mediafire

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