In 2006, an Australian physician related his experiences encountering a certain type of female patient: Attractive, successful, mid-20s, complaining of rather vague symptoms. The patient had previously been diagnosed with and treated for a variety of ailments, but was still suffering from anxiety, cramps, etc. A pattern became evident, and the doctor described the typical reaction:
When questioning them about their unhappiness, a litany of loathing and tears, more sincere than any self penitent would erupt. They were fat, they were unintelligent and they couldn’t find a partner. They were ugly.
They were unlovable.
At first I was quite shocked at this complete disconnect between reality and self perception. As a young man, I would not have hesitated at once to try to make an acquaintance with any of these women. Indeed, they usually did not have a problem with meeting men at all. What they did have was a problem of meeting men who would treat them like a person instead of a means of sexual satisfaction. They were lonely and depressed; their symptoms were psychosomatic.
The pattern of their personal lives seemed to be the same. They usually had a string of liaisons more than relationships. The male leaving them after he became sexually bored, lured away by a more attractive mate or when “demands” were placed on the man. These “demands” usually usually took the form of a promise of commitment or exclusivity. It was interesting to observe that the many a woman would delay making “demands” on her partner for as long as possible as she was fearful of losing her mate. The imperative however was the biological clock, demanding that a stable relationship be entered for the good of the offspring. It was at this point that the relationship broke down. Time to start again: all men are Bastards.
Indeed their inability to “keep” a man was interpreted by themselves as a failure of attraction or, in a psychologically negative sense, proof of their ugliness. As the cycle repeated, the ideation was verified. A course of anti-depressant medication usually improved their symptoms if not their mental state. They were sad, not mad. They were suffering from a reactive depression with the consequential psychosomatic symptoms. Their existential situation was the cause of their problems. . . .
Please read the whole thing, because it is important to understanding the fundamental grievance that underlies most of modern feminism. Women are unhappy, and feminist ideology offers them a systematic explanation — a political analysis — for their unhappiness.
Having an explanation is not the same as having a solution, however, and the persistent unhappiness lends itself to a sense of rage: If the “patriarchy” is causing their unhappiness (as feminism tells them), then the more unhappy they become, the more vehemently they lash out at the personified scapegoat. This is really politics as psychotherapy, an acting-out of emotional problems.
It is not that I am unsympathetic to the plight of women, but I refuse to accept the rigid quasi-Marxist ideology by which feminists delude women into believing “the personal is political,” i.e., they can solve their individual unhappiness through collective action.
Excellent post Stacy. Back in the day, these women were named hysterics because of their symptoms and many physicians connected it to the female reproductive organs and the reproductive imperative.
They were partially correct as seen in the article you cite. The users and personality deprived fools accept the most ridiculous and convoluted theories to address their anxieties when a simple course of Valium would do the trick.
Poor, poor special snowflakes …
Most leftists, for whatever reason, internalize their political stance so that it becomes an outward expression of their desired superiority. Why, I could not speculate, not being a psychiatrist. Nor have I played one on TV. In fact, I didn’t even stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
On the other hand, since the entire psychiatric profession is mired in leftist doublethink that occupational lack is not a shortcoming for me. Furthermore, the latest gyrations over the release of DSM-V show psychiatry, as opposed to psychology, to be unscientific fraud, a modern equivalent to shamanism. Suffice to say that leftists demand high self esteem as a birthright, and lacking actual accomplishments to warrant it, must create a spurious foundation for moral and intellectual superiority based upon imaginary criteria.
It’s really a form of reverse engineering, running something like this: “I am self evidently superior to my Republican neighbor, but how to express that in lieu of actual accomplishment or demonstrated skill or quality? Aha! He does not boast of caring for the poor, the disenfranchised, the environment, the transgendered Eskimo children lacking safe havens to express themselves through interpretive dance! I do so boast (even though he gives much mor eof his income to charities than I do) therefore I am superior! QthehellED!”
Now and then reality, as it does, bites such people in the butt and cognitive dissonance hits. Hard. Then comes the crying jag, the expressions of self loathing, the bitterness and fear. For those of us not so invested in burnishing the Potemkin Village of our outward persona it’s inexplicable. Fortunately our inability to understand instantly provides further evidence of our own moral blindness and sets the insecure progressive back onto the road to moral preening.
It wouldn’t even take a Valium, RMN. A simple honest self assessment would do the trick and be longer lasting.
Sadly, honesty is not compatible with the progressive zetigeist. Trying to explain it to a prog is like trying to describe the color red to Ray Charles.
Another factor is the beauty standard in the media and advertising. Which leads too many women to seek happiness in plastic surgery. But the feminist rage towards society is just a bit faulty when you consider that women vote. Admittedly most politicians are men but women have a very strong voice in our nation’s politics. Slut Walk is likely just the first of many phoney baloney, astroturf protests we’re going to see as feminists in this country push for ratification of CEDAW.
Thanks for the (very much fished for) link!
Our esteemed host wrote:
Perhaps if I quote Strelnikov from Dr Zhivago: “The personal life is dead in Russia.”
If the personal becomes the political, then the political class of feminists can translate the personal problems of other women into votes. And we know, of course, that that means votes for the left.
The Life of Julia fits perfectly into that; the Obama campaign redefined Chairman Mao’s statement into “Political power flows from the printer of a government check.” It’s no less coercion.
Even the ones who don’t seek cosmetic surgery are competing with each other in ways that, to me, look ridiculous. How did we go from normal bras to jack ’em up, squeeze ’em in, make awesome cleavage out of an A cup bras? Those have to be uncomfortable! How did we get so many women to actually wear stiletto heels? How did the female news anchors go from power suits to Fox News anchorwench skin-tight minidresses, not only on Fox but now on CNN and the Weather Channel?
Women’s worst enemies are not men, but other women!
So… all of these self-loathing women who feel fat and unlovable entered into “relationships” that were casually sexual in nature and then when the guy “wouldn’t buy the cow” they felt it was because they were personally lacking in attractiveness?
And just to tie it all together, Sister Toldjah noted that Sydney Leathers is a feminist. 🙂
We’ve gone from burn the bra to super bra. And of the 24/7 news info-babes, men being the biggest consumers of the news stream probably has a lot to do with that. But in a weather emergency no one gets my attention faster than Stephanie Abrams.
I would only note that the good doctor is merely describing one facet of the human condition which is not limited to females. People make choices; sometimes they are bad choices which have bad consequences. When faced with this, humans can take responsibility for themselves and admit fault. But that makes people feel all “icky,” and so, like Adam, we blame Eve and/or the Snake instead of ourselves.
She’s good, but she really doesn’t know how to wear the dresses she wears. Besides, Jen Carfagno is the real Weather Channel babe!
One of the most important and most toxic elements of feminism is things must never get better for the women. As with the War on Poverty, if the lives of these ‘victims’ ever got easier, if these women ever actually got happier, the reason for this ‘movement’s existence and the livelihoods of its ‘leaders’ goes away.
As with any of these movements which rely on the existence of an “Oppressor,” over time Feminists complain more and more about less and less. Much like the Red Leg captain in “The Outlaw Josey Wales,” the war never ends, because “doin’ right ain’t got no end.”
Ok. Just so you know, when I got to the Zhivago quote, I was overcome with the scene from the movie where Strelnikov’s train rushes by to the shouts of the Red cavalry. I immediately raised my fist and shouted, “Strelnikov!” I think my wife is now seeing about having me committed.
I think the cause of this mess is very simple: they have put God out of their lives. Into the vacuum move lies and confusion.
It’s why I’m biding my time.
Spot-on.
“The Outlaw Josey Wales” has a lot of wisdom in it.
You know, by this time next Tuesday, if we keep at it, we’ll have this whole “problem with women” thing all straightened out.
Next up: Religion. Probly take what, three days?
Dyin’ ain’t much of a livin’, boy…
I must admit to being just a little bit disappointed that the feminists (Sara Acerbic and friends) haven’t joined us in mutual debate on this site with their academic qualifications and over sized brains (and bras).
Except for that poor little wilting violent, Miss Hay, who was no doubt used as canon fodder, we have abject silence.
I notice when you get to dislikin’ someone, they ain’t around long neither.
At least Ms. Hay had the balls to show up and stay awhile. You gotta give her that.
I respect Ms. Hay’s courage to walk into the comment pages on this blog because people do not suffer fools here, and I also thought she was courteous. I hope she does contact RSM for an interview. He should leave the van that says “Free Candy” back at Harry Reid’s place, however.
HEY!
You’re not allowed to invoke the cow and milk thing.
A woman should be able to do whatever she wants with her body from one moment to the next, and then she should be able to select the most desirable consequences of her choices.
This MYTH that women want commitment whereas men want sex is TEH stRaiGHT whITEpatriARchy Brain! Washing!
Especially the part where men don’t respect women who give it away for nothing and therefore won’t want to marry them.
Double-especially the part where a whole population of women who give it away easily makes it harder for women to convince men to settle down, because if they’re getting all this mil…
I MEAN.
MEN ARE PIGDOGS BUT WOMEN WHO SLEEP WITH THEM ARE NEVER WHORES.
Fascinating blog post. I feel sorry for the young women who can’t find lasting love, and a bit of disgust for the selfish men who want only casual sex. Stacy’s comment about the quasi-Marxism of feminism is spot on: politics cannot perfect the personal, as many leftists believe. The old way was better: pick out one good and worthy woman and love her for life!
LOL! Also… love your name and avatar… bleeding heart!
You know… on a serious note: When I was young it wasn’t just that you were supposed to dump any guy who wouldn’t date you if you didn’t “give out” because it was your reputation at stake and no girl wanted to be known as a slut… it was a way to weed out the guys who were no good. It was to weed out the man-whores who would love you and leave you… on account of they were man-whores.
So you said no… you weren’t going to have sex, not any time soon, possibly not before marriage, so if they would rather see themselves out the door then that’s where they should go.
Because the ones who were worth it would stick around and the ones who only wanted assisted masturbation would leave.
The whole thing wasn’t a one-directional Oppression Of The Patriarchy! that wanted girls to be pure so that we’ve now got slut walks… it was the Matriarchy sorting out the man-sluts from the ones a girl could trust.
And the notion that a man who had casual sex all over the place was respected simply wasn’t true.
I respect Ms. Hay as well. Also, besides me being old enough to be her mother… we’re both at college right now for the same subject, so it would be fun to talk.
Feminism commands women to reject traditional morality and mores. Following instructions, women have flooded the market with milk and honey and as Julie pointed out, these women can’t see that they are the very reason men aren’t buying cows.
Feminisim tells women to find happiness in “intellectual or business development” instead of relationships and tells them to be ashamed of what they really want more than anything else: to raise a family.
Feminism offers a toxic prescription for the diseases that it has created.
I linked you to this one. It is becoming a universal problem.
Except in the Islamic world. There they just treat you like crap and if you act up they drown you in the family pool.
So does High Plains Drifter…
I linked it…
It just seemed to work with that clip.
I do feel rather sorry for them. Those of us women who don’t identify as feminists are generally happier….perhaps we’re not feminists precisely because our happiness isn’t dependent upon our circumstances? Or is it because we’ve learned self-respect instead of self-esteem?
Interesting to speculate on, at any rate.
The problem with these dopey g-r-r-r-l s is they want to act like tramps and be treated seriously. When I see a girl scantily attired with tramp stamps and other bizarro tats, my inclination is to view her as a weak minded amoral light weight headed for looking like a washed up bartender in a cheap gin mill at 40.
Hey girlfriend you want a place at the table act like a classy woman not an Amy Winehouse knockoff. That girl at least could sing. You just look ridiculous.
There’s a certain nobility in a white knight tilting at windmills. (Alas, I remain skeptical she’d catch the references)
Crikey! Speaking of Australia, what in the world makes people do something like this:
WND: Sexting mom sends nude pix to son’s friends
I can’t come up with the right words to say what needs to be said to these women. This is an approximation, and not a very good one.
There’s
the Biblical doctrine that human beings (including women) were created
in God’s likeness and image, Let them ask themselves why they are
defiling their human personhood by giving their bodies, or for that
matter their time, to selfish jerks.
A good man won’t approach a woman who is hanging around with bad companions.
This is on the money. I used to be a lib, and your analysis is exactly what I see in hindsight. As RSM said, it’s politics as therapy. Liberalism eventually put me in the psych ward.
You nailed it. That was the case with me.
In general, common sense leads to better results than ideology. The problem is that decades of propaganda about the glories of “sexual liberation” and “equality” have polluted the culture with ideology to the point that common sense is far less common than it used to be.
Is this the first time she’s thought about having them take you away? 🙂
And Miss Abrams was wearing a white-in-front, black-in-back size 8 dress that she somehow poured her size 10 body into this morning.
It’s hardly only the “self-loathing women who feel fat and unlovable” who are entering into sexual relationships too casually these days; it seems that virtually all women are doing so, as though coitus is now simply an expected part of dating.
These days, it’s the women who aren’t screwing around who have bad “reputations,” as though there must be something wrong with them somehow. All of the media pressure is for fornication, not eschewing it. And we’ve just enough contraception available so that most women can copulate without getting knocked up.
There’s a real difficulty when marriage, which used to occur just a few years after puberty, is now a decade or more past puberty; that’s a long time to be horny and not have someone try to take care of it.
But the changes we have had in society have still not changed biology; it seems that God does not pay much attention to Amanda Marcotte’s arguments.
Fools suffer here, however.
Thing is, the men wouldn’t be able to get away with it if the women didn’t let them. If the women, oh, I dunno… abstained… until marriage…
Look at the EPA. They made huge gains in air and water quality nationwide originally, and now they’re reduced to declaring drainage ditches on your property to be waterways so they can regulate them.
So, I’m not fazed so much by the skinny, blonde, super babes with plastic tatas. Steph has a world class set of mammalian protuberances and I’m guessing their the genuine articles.
Let us also remember that Teh Patriarchy consisted of Men With Daughters who know exactly how the minds of young males work.
And who know that the REAL purpose of marriage is to civilize men.
Unless society tells horny young men that “you can’t get it legitimately until you Be A Man and get married,” they’ll continue on their adolescent, horny ways, never growing up, never becoming Fit Companions.
Who knew the Sexual Revolution was actually a Bill of Goods?
Who?
Kate Mulgrew went to the producers of Star Trek Voyager and let them know she didn’t want her character involved in romantic or sexual dalliances. Capt Janeway comes across as a strict authoritarian and anything but a sex object. A worthy Star Trek captain.
Anyone who thought about it.
Though, to be fair, for some of us, who really didn’t want to have children, there were useful aspects to the side-effects of the sexual revolution.