VIDEO: Sex-Positive Feminist Tearfully Explains: ‘You’re All the Man I Want’

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Earlier today, while researching male feminist Professor Hugo Schwyzer, I ran across a video in which a young woman read one of Schwyer’s columns and she had such a purty mouth that when I’d finished writing about Schwyzer I wondered, “Who is that girl?”

People sometimes ask me, “Stacy, where do you find all these kooks you write about?” And the answer is, random curiosity. So I checked this chick’s YouTube channel and found that she is a fairly popular personality, with more than 1,000 subscribers to her videos, although if she has a blog presence or a Twitter account, it’s separate from what she does on YouTube. Anyway, here’s how she describes herself:

Equality and liberation, no matter who or what you are.
Sex-positivity and much, much more!
Yes, I am a feminist. No, I don’t hate men. No, I don’t think sex is evil. No, I don’t hate girly things.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner.

Last September, she posted a video entitled, “Why I Might Be Gone From YouTube For A While,” during which she went through a box of Kleenex in a 38-minute explanation of why she and her longtime boyfriend had recently decided to break up:

So I’ve been with the most amazing man ever for the past three years and that’s since I was 18. I’m 21 now. I just turned 21. I met him when I was 17, and we began dating about four or five months later. . . .
I fell madly, madly in love. And I still am. I still am madly, madly in love with this man. He’s about three years older than me, so he’s 24 right now. But recently, we decided to take what I guess some people would call “a break,” for our relationship’s own good, and I’m really conflicted about it, but I know it’s going to be best for us. . . .

Can I pick ’em, or what? If you thought being a “feminist” was about independence, let Little Miss Boohoo correct your misperceptions:

He feels like, these past three years, I’ve been tied down to him and . . . being in college, I should be free to go and explore and have all these experiences that I might not otherwise be able to have, you know, when I have a boyfriend. . . . He’s been saying this for a while, but after something that happened a couple of days ago, we’ve decided officially that this should happen. . . . I’ve been like this all day. I’m a mess. . . .
[She told him] “I like being tied down and I love you,” and he always thought that was weird, but I always told him . . . “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You’re the most amazing guy in the world. I’m so lucky. I can’t think of anyone better.” . . .  He’s just absolutely perfect for me. . . .

He’s “the most amazing man ever”! She’s “madly, madly in love”! He’s “absolutely perfect “! And so, being on the receiving end of her worshipful adoration, Mr. Amazing is doing that passive-aggressive thing, avoiding commitment by saying that she needs to “go and explore and have all these experiences” because otherwise, she’s being “tied down to him,” see? She continues:

But he always felt like I’d never dated enough people. I haven’t seen enough people. And I always kind of just laughed that off and said, “What are you talking about? You’re all the man I want. Why would I go looking for something that, you know, I already have?”

Good Lord, man! Don’t you understand? She craves your seed.

A woman like this, she may call herself a “feminist,” but one look at her — crying her eyes out, pleading to the camera — and you can practically hear the sublimated urges of her inner hausfrau screaming: “Make me pregnant! Let me have your babies and suckle them to my breasts! Let me cook you bratwurst and sauerkraut!” Damn all this modern nonsense about sexism, this woman’s natural destiny is to be the mother of a large brood of nice young Lutheran children, fixing Jello salads for church potluck, and the truly cruel thing — what this guy’s doing — is denying her the fulfillment of her destiny. She continues:

But recently, I was presented with some temptation, and I didn’t cheat on him – I didn’t – but the fact that I wanted to was enough. . . .
I always told him like, the fact that I’ve never had, you know — I’ve never gone as far with girls as I wanted to, or explored enough of my sexuality with other women as I have always wanted to, but I didn’t care, because I had him. . . .

(WHOA! Is this getting good, or what?)

Last semester . . . I work at the Writing Center . . . and there’s this girl who works there. Her name is Maria and she’s an international student and she’s bisexual and she’s really pretty. . . . She and some of the other tutors . . . they invited me out — and I wasn’t 21 at the time, but they invited me out for drinks — after work one day. . . . I couldn’t drink . . . It was fun to see them get drunk, but Maria got really drunk, really drunk, and somehow we got on the subject of sexuality.

(We’re so surprised by this, aren’t we?)

I don’t remember how, but I mentioned the fact that I have a boyfriend, but I’m bisexual. And Maria was like, “Really? That’s so cool! So am I, and my boyfriend and I have an open relationship!” . . . At that point, when she realized I was interested in women, she became interested in me.

Isn’t it just amazing how this happens? Little Miss Boohoo just casually mentions her got-a-boyfrind-but-bisexual status to drunk Maria, and suddenly — surprise! surprise! — Maria’s really into her. So, the situation then comes up that Maria needs to go to the restroom, but is so drunk that her friends deem it necessary for Little Miss Boohoo to escort her, and guess what happens next?

She hit on me in the bathroom, and I had to turn her down — it was a moment of temptation, it definitely was – but I turned her down and I said, “You know what? We need to go back to the table, because you’re trying to kiss me and you’re telling me I’m really pretty, And you’re really pretty, too, and you know, if I didn’t have a boyfriend, this would totally be an option.” But I told her no. . . . And her boyfriend was with us, too, and he was totally cool with it, if anything was going to happen, but I just said like, “Dude, I have a boyfriend who wouldn’t be OK with this, and I wouldn’t feel right.”

See what’s going on here? Little Miss Boohoo isn’t really a lesbian, and her “bisexuality” is merely notional.

It’s just something she’s curious about, because with the way the gay thing gets pounded into kids’ heads nowadays — school, pop culture, peer pressure — unless you want to be regarded as a hateful weirdo, you’re supposed to at least experiment with the gay thing. And blondie here has indicated she’s messed around with girls a little bit, but not as much as she feels like she should, so she’s still . . . curious.

On the other hand, it seems, her friend Maria is enthusiastically into girls, especially when she’s drunk, and Maria’s boyfriend is cool with that, because maybe they could do a threesome and he could get some new amateur videos to share with his buddies.

However, while Little Miss Boohoo has this unsatisfied curiosity (really, you almost wish some hard-core diesel dyke would make a move on her, just to help her get over that ambiguity, one way or another) yet on the other hand, she still has this quaint old-fashioned sense of loyalty to Mr. Amazing, her passive-aggressive boyfriend.

So her reply to Maria is not, “Leave me alone, you pervert!” Instead, she turns Maria down almost apologetically, and yet feels guilty merely to have been tempted to stray from Mr. Amazing:

So that was, I guess, one of those opportunities that my boyfriend was talking about that he feels bad that he’s holding me back from experiencing, you know, thinks that I’ve always been curious about — all these “what ifs.” And so, yeah, that was the first time that I kind of thought, maybe there’s something to what he’s saying. Maybe I don’t know what I want. . . .

OK, is it just me, or has the decline of traditional “family values” left young people hopelessly confused, pondering existential complexities that Grandma never had to worry about? You don’t have to be Pat Robertson to deplore this poor woman’s situation.

No fire and brimstone sermons about lust and fornication and sin are necessary here. It’s more like one of those “21st-century relationship” problems that Instapundit is always noticing: Without the simple and predictable pathways of religion or custom to guide them, these kids just drift along in a fog of uncertainty. “Gosh, Maria is really pretty and I’ve always been curious about this, but . . .”

Meanwhile, there’s Mr. Amazing, toward whom Little Miss Boohoo feels this profound loyalty and almost comical adoration: “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. . . . I’m so lucky. I can’t think of anyone better. . . . You’re all the man I want.”

Having heaped so much ridicule on this silly girl — only because she’s a Sex Positive Feminist who thinks Hugo Schwyzer is profound — I’m tired of transcribing her pathetic rant and, honestly, I feel sorry for her. Not because she posted this video for our sarcastic amusement, but because Mr. Amazing refuses to let her fulfill her Teutonic peasant destiny of kinder, küche, kirche.

Dammit, son, take charge! Have her make you a nice dinner of bratwurst and sauerkraut, and then tell her, “Me Tarzan, you Jane.”

Get in touch with your inner patriarch, tell her to get rid of those silly birth-control pills, and as soon as she gets pregnant, take her down to the courthouse and get married. None of that expensive romantic Disney Princess Dream Wedding nonsense, with all the bridesmaids and rehearsals and stuff, just marry the girl and make babies.

Meanwhile, in case anyone wants to see the whole video, let me warn you about the scene where she goes to the male strip show with her girlfriends, and gets a free lap dance from the dancer with tattoos and piercings. (Turns out she’s curious about that, too.)

Not to spoil the denouement, but there’s kind of a happy ending: Her break-up with Mr. Amazing only lasted a week.

They can’t live without each other, and she returned to YouTube all smiley about it. But he still needs to let her do the kinder, küche, kirche thing. It’s her destiny — trust me on this — and I bet she cooks a wonderful bratwurst and sauerkraut casserole. Also, Jello salad.

 

124 comments

  1. Heh, now you’re reminding me of a song I heard on Dr. Demento: “Sensitive New Age Guys”, by Christine Lavin. (Google for the youtube link and for the lyrics.)

  3. A victim of the “lesbian chic” phenomenon, I suppose…

    Not a “lipstick lesbian” (Is there really such a thing anyway?) nor a “bisexual”. (Once again, is there really such a thing?)

    She is adorable but I suspect any decent man, including “Mr. Amazing”, will rapidly tire of her theatrics! Perhaps she’s ill — IFYKWIMAITYD…

    Nothing to see here!

  4. Like I said, kids have this stuff pounded into their heads — at school, on TV, in books and magazines and music and on the Internet — and unless they have some basis of psychological resistance, the inevitable result is a horrible confusion.

    We grown-ups, who never had to endure all this “diversity” propaganda, look at these kids and think, “You’re crazy.” But from their point of view, with their experiences and their environment, crazy is the New Normal, and they have been taught to view the Old Normal as obsolete horse-and-buggy stuff. They simply can’t imagine what the world used to be like before everybody went crazy..

  5. Here’s the difference, Dianna: When I was a sophomore, there was no Internet through which I could inflict my personal dramas (and imagined insights) onto an unwilling world. But these young people, who have evidently been told their entire lives that they are Special Little Snowflakes, think that every tiny whim of theirs is worth sharing with everybody, and never expect to encounter any opposition or criticism.

    See, it’s mean to tell them they don’t know what the hell they’re talking about, and it’s mean to tell them that their college professors are a bunch of worthless Commie swine. And because it is regarded as unspeakable cruelty to confront these young fools with the truth, they drift along thinking they already know everything. Wisdom being effectively muzzled, therefore, folly reigns supreme, and it’s all fun and games until somebody gets hurt, as inevitably they will.

  6. “When I was a sophomore, there was no Internet through which I could inflict my personal dramas (and imagined insights) onto an unwilling world.”

    No…that’s why you (and we, your commentors) have this blog.

    “See, it’s mean to tell them they don’t know what the hell they’re talking about…”

    You might as well, cause their parents abdicated that responsibility long ago.

  12. Do most college students actually do any studying in college anymore or is that too passe as compared with agonizing about whether you’ve explored your sexuality enough?

    I don’t suppose it occurs to most college age people nowadays that-yes- it’s quite possible to find people of the same gender as you attractive and sexy people-without thinking 1.) That you’re bisexual or homosexual or 2.) debating whether you should cheat on your current boyfriend or girlfriend.

  13. Someone needs to tell this girl to keep her pants on. It’s incredibly hard for a young girl in a sexual relationship to see her man objectively, to evaluate his potential as a husband. She will believe his lies and evasions. She will cast the best possible face on his behavior. His unreliability will seem like spontaneity. His unwillingness to commit will seem like generosity of spirit.

    And, so long s he can et what he want, he doesn’t have to fish OR cut bait.

  15. There’s an old joke that goes something like this:

    Q: What’s the worst thing about being a bisexual ghost?

    A: You’re invisible to almost everyone. Also, you’re a ghost.

    (In other words, yes, there is really such a thing as bisexuals.)

  20. Mr. Nice Guy type? Encouraging her to get in bed with another woman just to check it out? Telling her she hasn’t had enough experiences, sexually I assume, and he doesn’t want her to have doubts later?

    Okay, she loves him. That doesn’t mean he’s good for her or that he loves her.

    She needs to learn the difference between friends and classmates. And how to say no and mean it. Like so many Republicans she goes along to get along. So she ended up in a strip club she didn’t want to be in to begin with getting a lap dance that upset her.

  23. The basis of my psychological resistance and the end of my horrible confusion was Catholic theology as expressed by GK Chesterton, whom I credit with saving my sanity and my life. “Crazy” not a humorous exaggeration.

  26. Stacy, this was one of your very best articles on the fallacies of “modern relationships”. I hear echoes of this crap from one of my neices. Right now, she just seems to joke about this stuff,and her otherwise conservative parents tolerate this crap from her.

    But in my 50+ years, I already know how these “progressive” ideas evolve: they get introduced into the public consciousness through the meeja, often wrapped up in a veneer of “humor”, then a few years later become some sort of “bedrock principle” to the easily manipulated.

    I see a train wreck down the road…

  32. They’re not studying. They’re not learning. They’re just (to steal from David Mamet) pressing the lever to get the food pellet, without even the experience of running the maze first.

  37. Also, perhaps these young idiots generally need to get the idea that if they’re going to impose their wisdom on the entire world via the Internet, it would behoove them to have MAYBE ONE FUCKING CLUE of what they’re talking about.

    Or at least not make their blatherings public for all the world to see and comment upon. I’m sure they know how to make their channels private or limit its viewership to “safe” individuals, so I can only assume unleashing their Emo on an unsuspecting world is intentional. I have some theories after some discussions with a generational marketing expert, but nothing that’s been formally studied as of yet.

  38. I do have to admit some surprise that the post hasn’t been beset with a herd of simpering Millennial wet rag “feminists” castigating you for poking fun at this display because, Sincerity*.

    * – Since “being sincere” is, like, an absolute shield against Any Criticism Ever. (Something to do with the Diet Intelligentsia’s obsession with “authenticity”, I can only imagine)

  39. Oh, lord, how I abominate both concepts! That’s how truly dreadful work is promoted: sincerity and authenticity as a substitute for craft and quality.

  41. Thanks! I was inspired by the “I blame Joan of Arc” post so I thought that was as good a moniker as any!

  42. I’m a little old to use her, and I do not aspire to the Red Rose of Martyrdom (Catherine of Sienna, who was reproved for spiritual arrogance for that desire by her priest). Glad to see you, though, and to see you using her moniker. She was something!

  43. I’m not the proper age, myself (physically, anyway) but I figured what they hey. I’m a fan, might as well!

  44. Strangely enough, my introduction to “the grand quest for authenticity” was a deconstruction of it…though like Duchamps’ “Fountain”, everyone else seems to have missed the joke.

    The Cult of Sincerity may or may not be an offshoot, but what I can say I’ve observed is that the Millennials have gripped the Kool-Aid pitcher of that particular nonsense with both hands. Whether it’s their odd belief (thanks to growing up with an easily-accessible Internet) that “the world is one big happy High School”, something else, or a whole stew of this and other really bad ideas, I’m not completely sure. But Gen Y females are especially prone to an almost fanatical belief that the Internet is a “safe space”, that cute phrase for “asspatting echo chamber”. The teen drama previous generations had the sense to confine to paper journals or cliques is suddenly Everybody’s Business due to what I can only imagine is that bizarre Millennial belief in “interconnectedness”.*

    * Disclaimer – not every Millennial believes in these whakadoodle platitudes, but many are at least influenced by them even if they consciously reject them

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