Let the Paul Walker Death Crash Conspiracy Theories Begin!

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Basically, all celebrity news is on hold until further notice, because the actor famous for starring in movies about high-speed street racing got killed while — wait for it — high-speed street racing.

I know, right?

Anyway, if you’re paranoid, this might seem suspicious:

Paul Walker may not have ever gotten into the car that took him to his death if it hadn’t been acting up moments before the crash … TMZ has learned.
Paul showed up Saturday for a fundraiser at Always Evolving — Roger Rodas’ high end auto shop that specializes in exotic cars. Paul had a stake in the shop.
Sources connected to Roger tell TMZ when Paul arrived … Roger was watching one of his employees try in vain to back the Carrera GT into the shop, but it kept stalling. Roger decided to take matters into his own hands … told the worker to get out and took the wheel himself.
As Roger began to back into the garage … Paul came up and said he hadn’t driven in the Porsche yet — so he jumped in the passenger seat and they took a 20 minute drive.

Did somebody say “suspicious“?

The exotic sports car in which Paul Walker violently died, crashed as a result of mechanical failure — very possibly a steering fluid leak … this according to sources closely tied to the auto shop where the vehicle was stored and maintained.
Sources connected to Always Evolving — the shop co-owned by Walker and the Porsche driver Roger Rodas — tell TMZ they saw evidence of a fluid burst and subsequent fluid trail before the skid marks at the accident scene.
The AE sources point to the fact there is a noticeable absence of skid marks until just before the point of impact. They say if Roger had lost control the skid marks would show swerving, but instead the marks were in a straight line. They feel this cements the theory the driver didn’t have steering control.

Probably the CIA or the Mossad or maybe . . . right-wing nutjobs outraged to learn that Paul Walker was a cradle-robbing creepazoid:

Paul Walker’s girlfriend is ‘broken up’ over his death as the couple were hoping for a ‘bright future’ together, MailOnline can reveal.
Jasmine Pilchard-Gosnell, 23, is being comforted by her mother Julie as she struggles to cope with the ‘horrible’ news, relatives said.
She has reportedly been dating Walker since 2006 when she was just 16 and he was 33 — but the 17-year age gap has been no barrier to them both finding love. . . .
Jasmine, a college student who lives in Santa Barbara, California, was supposedly beginning to become the step-mother to Walker’s daughter Meadow, 15, even though she is only eight years older than her.

Kaitlyn Hunt could not be reached for comment.

 

 


63 comments

  2. How can ANYONE have missed the OBVIOUS connection between Walker’s death and the SUSPICIOUS death-by-auto of crusading journalist Michael Hastings ( http://tinyurl.com/plvjhq9 ) ?!?!? Clearly, both men KNEW TOO MUCH and the powers behind the scenes took advantage of Amerikkka’s self indulgent love affair with the automobile to silence them. It’s so BLATANT!!!!!11ELEVENTY!11!!!!!

  9. The true tragedy, of course, is that the Facebook poster cited at the end there will never be able to fully appreciate the irony of a #FreeKater trying to call anyone out for their “conspiracy theories”…

  18. For those pathetic excuses for “humans” who celebrate the murder of each unborn fetus by an abortionist, wishing death to those they oppose seems to come naturally.

  19. It gets WORSE the deeper you DIG!!111!

    MANSFIELD!!
    DeAN!!11!
    LAWRENCE OF ARABIA!!!11!! Arabia! Jeezuz, the tie-ins to corporate Amerikka, the House of Windsor, Big Oil and the JOOOOOs are SO!!! OBVIOUS!!1!!!!! WakE UP INDEeD!

  20. “Mechanical failure”

    Yep there I was one day, stuck idling in rush hour traffic when all of a sudden – BANG – mechanical failure..

    Next thing I knew I was ejected into some shrubbery, and the car was in flames, folded in half around a telephone pole.

    Who knew mechanical failure could release that much kinetic energy?

    If we could figure out how to harness the awesome power of mechanical failure it wouldn’t take but a couple dozen Fiats and Chryslers to power the whole planet.

  24. You just had to be an asshole and take a swipe at him over the age of his girlfriend. And of course, ol’ Kate Hunt made an appearance too. Where’s Runyon to validate your bullshit?

  25. Nah, RSM is no a***ole, but there is no doubt you are. RSM simply engages in well deserved mockery of people like yourself, who are too limited mentally to understand the difference. Your condition makes the mockery more fun.

  26. If we could fin some way to attach dynamos to the founders mortal remains, the supersonic spin rate would produce power too cheap the meter.

  28. Actually I was referring to the Bible. I think they stole it from Pournelle and Niven.

    Reminds me of the woman who decided to read Shakespeare. After a while a friend asked how she liked it.

    “It’s all right, I suppose,” she said, “but it looks to me like all he did was just string a whole lot of cliches together.”

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