The quoted phrase is from the mother of former Republican Senate aide Jesse Ryan Loskarn:
Ms. Loskarn complained about the “media frenzy” surrounding her son’s arrest in December.
“The last month of Jesse Ryan Loskarn’s life was surrounded by a media frenzy, with what appeared to be the goal of destroying his reputation beyond repair,” Mrs. Loskarn said. “Newspapers and other media outlets depicted him mostly in a negative light and stole away any good he had done during his short but full life.”
Mrs. Loskarn added: “During this tragic time he had no voice, but in his death he can be heard. Our society is quick to judge especially when the topic surrounding his death is so difficult. This letter written by Jesse Ryan Loskarn was found after he took his own life on January 23, 2014. If his words can help just one person who is suffering in silence, it will be his greatest accomplishment.”
Blaming media scapegoats? Portraying the criminal as victim? What were those who “depicted him mostly in a negative light” supposed to do after Loskarn was arrested with “hundreds of videos depicting underage boys … in sexually explicit conduct“?
Loskarn committed suicide — a decision for which he alone was responsible — and his mother obviously doesn’t want to accept that her son was responsible for his own choices. Jesse Ryan Loskarn’s final letter is an interesting document in its own right, but his mother’s preface to the letter is . . . well, it seems rather misguided.
It was not the media that destroyed Loskarn’s “reputation beyond repair,” it was Loskarn’s own criminal actions. But we are living amid an epidemic of Special Snowflake Syndrome, typified by several bad ideas: Nothing bad should ever happen to the Special Snowflake and, if misfortune should befall him, however great his own role in bringing about that misfortune, the Special Snowflake is not really to blame.
Bad things happened to Ryan Loskarn, some of which clearly were not his fault. He was only to blame for his own choices, but those were very bad choices and if, as Mrs. Loskarn says, “our society is quick to judge,” I’m not sure we are judging too quickly.
If you think the problem with “our society” is that we are too judgmental about perversion, you obviously aren’t paying attention.
As the chief of staff to a United States Senator, he had access to the best health insurance in the country. If he knew that he was doing wrong, but couldn’t overcome his compulsion, he had access to psychiatric treatment. Had he gone that route, perhaps he’d have been able to overcome his compulsions before he got caught; we’ll never be able to know, but I haven’t seen anything which says that he tried.
As the chief of staff to a United States Senator, he had access to the best health insurance in the country. If he knew that he was doing wrong, but couldn’t overcome his compulsion, he had access to psychiatric treatment. Had he gone that route, perhaps he’d have been able to overcome his compulsions before he got caught; we’ll never be able to know, but I haven’t seen anything which says that he tried.
I do want to encourage suicide. We see way too much of it with troubled youth. But he was an adult and chose to get it over with.
That is part of a “freedom of choice” society.
I do want to encourage suicide. We see way too much of it with troubled youth. But he was an adult and chose to get it over with.
That is part of a “freedom of choice” society.
I do want to encourage suicide. We see way too much of it with troubled youth. But he was an adult and chose to get it over with.
That is part of a “freedom of choice” society.
It is common for abused children to be drawn into viewing child pornography as adults. Don’t ask me why (I have no idea, it seems counter intuitive) but that is the case.
It is common for abused children to be drawn into viewing child pornography as adults. Don’t ask me why (I have no idea, it seems counter intuitive) but that is the case.
It is common for abused children to be drawn into viewing child pornography as adults. Don’t ask me why (I have no idea, it seems counter intuitive) but that is the case.
There is benefit, however, to society formally proving its case and expressing its outrage upon the perpetrator. Call it “drawing a line in the sand.” It be ceremonial, but it does establish definite boundaries. Suicide short circuits that process.
It will be a “burden” on those poor, abused children the rest of their lives.
I’ve always heard that they cannot be rehabilitated. I don’t know if that’s true.
Why do I hear these stories in the media about child porn… and never any follow up, such as who MADE the porn? Where are they? There’s NO WAY to arrest one porn addict without getting a lead on a dozen more.
In the Larry Brinkin case, he was getting and sending his through email. So…? Where were those emails going? Where were they coming from? Not a word. Crickets. A dog barking off in the distance.
Lady, if you’re so upset about your son’s fate, then do something constructive: track down the kiddie porn manufacturers and bring them out into the open. Or, hell, kill them. I don’t care.
And if you want to get mad at the media, then by all means, get mad! Ask them why they never COMPLETE the story by tracking down the source of the porn!
Something about being abused as a child seems almost impossible to break the cycle in adults. (I do know a few who got help before becoming parents and who are non-abusers because of it. But that’s because they went “public” about their own abuse as a kid, and their spouse and friends are always alert.)
DING!
The short version: punishment is raaaaacist.
The “slow to judge” all wear red shirts in old Star Trek.
This mother is disgusting. I wonder if she suspected or knew of her son’s alleged abuse in his childhood..
Lady, if you’re so upset about your son’s fate, then do something
constructive: track down the kiddie porn manufacturers and bring them
out into the open. Or, hell, kill them.
============
Well said.
Psychotherapy is largely ineffectual and it is an assault on one’s dignity.
It all depends on the therapist, just like medicine depends on the doctor practicing it. While good therapists may be a minority, when they are good, they not only help people to heal and grow, they can save lives, and rehabilitate a measure of dignity.
I believe no psychological problem is untreatable – however, in practice, the right resources and treatment are often not available, if available at all
It sounded like something written by a professional PR person – disgusting really. Manipulative and sounding very fake.
The woman has just lost her son, and she is a mother, not a father. She also has thick and voluminous memories of her son’s life. He did many things and was many things. It is not surprising that she hits some false notes in her public statement. (It would have been prudent for her not to comment).
The man was a ruin, and he admits it pretty plainly – when it started and what he did about it when.
The problem is not that people are too judgmental, it is that they often judge persons and not acts and that their judgment is poorly calibrated. (Which is manifest in the discussion of sex offenses, both in the indulgence with which some are regarded and in the condemnation with which others are regarded).
First impression after reading the letter is it doesn’t sound very sincere or authentic. I don’t have confidence of it being false, but I also don’t believe it either. Sounds too perfectly written.
Hang it up, will you.
Non ci credo.
Are you even the least aware that not only many parents and caretakers know about their child’s abuse, they participate in it, or they ensure it is covered up – no matter how many signs there are?
Please go to do ugly Joe Paterno routine elsewhere.
The day you ever spend a few minutes learning about the millions of cases that therapists have worked on, and what worked and what didn’t, you’d at least be able to profer an opinion that isn’t based solely on ignorance of the entire history of psychotherapy.
I’m not sure what he wrote in his letter is true. In any case, he seems like the person who would have spent his life viewing child porn and perpetuating the abuse of other children. In that regard, justice was done- even if these are always horribly cases.
Second the Ding!
That’s why the mother stinks to me. It’s all about their “reputation” – disgusting
It is common for abused children to be drawn into viewing child pornography as adults.
=============
What?
Where in the world did you hear this? AFAIK, that’s complete nonsense.
Which is another reason why the death penalty and life in prison are good options for serious child abusers–to break the cycle. The only way to deal with abuse for victims is to go public (I do not mean to every one you know, but to your immediate family and close friends).
And if he intended to commit suicide and “clear his name” (i.e. give an explanation) – then why didn’t he name the people who he claims abused him?
Or did he do that somewhere else?
He was a Congressional staffer.
There are many victims who do not go on to be abusers. But many do go on. It is a real risk, but it is not inevitable. It is a choice.
Remember that modern Liberal morality is rooted almost entirely in harm. The idea that the morality of any action being “does this directly harm anyone”. Shunning a pervert is seen as healthy to traditional morality but to the new person it is seen as just adding harm.
“It would have been prudent for her not to comment”
Agreed, and a lack of prudence would seem to be a trait she shares with her deceased son.
I wonder if she also shares with him a criminal trait.
If anything, she should have apologized and expressed sympathy for the children whose lives have been ruined.
One key dividing line between healthy and unhealthy minds is the sense of agency — the belief that we are basically the authors of our own destiny, rather than being controlled by external forces. Of course, we have to accept that many factors in life are beyond our control, but the key to mental health is taking responsibility for our own choices and actions, resisting the excuse-making and justifications that ultimately lead to failure and despair.
Speaking of Joe Paterno, and why we have good reasons to suspect that often caretakers, like mothers and teachers, cover up abuse of children, recent article on Salon says:
Jerry Sandusky’s adopted son, Matt, told:
“Bar-Lev that when
investigators first showed up after his dad’s arrest, he told them that
nothing like that had happened to him and that he couldn’t imagine the
senior Sandusky doing such things. It wasn’t true, and although Matt
Sandusky never testified against his father, his later revelations that
he had endured long-term childhood sexual abuse were the final blow in
the court of public opinion.”
http://www.salon.com/2014/01/27/behind_the_penn_state_scandal_a_community_fails_to_reckon_with_its_past/
Exactly.
I said it was common. I did not say it was universal. And yes, it is common. That does not justify it, but it happens.
http://www.breathingspacescotland.co.uk/bspace/75.3.62.html
Easier said than done…
You know these young victims are typically shamed or terrorised into silence—sometimes the victim even truly forgets the abuse…
Did Loskarn really have a choice? According to scientific studies childhood sexual abuse rewires the brain, and creates alternate maps around sexuality. In light of that then, was his supposed “moral choice” really non-existent and he was pre-determined to act this way? I know that’s not a comfortable thought, especially for people who believe in traditional notions about good and evil, but it seems likely. One of the main problems with topics like this and that there’s no possibility for rational discussion and our default reaction is to descend into an angry mob.
http://healthland.time.com/2013/06/05/sexual-and-emotional-abuse-scar-the-brain-in-specific-ways/
In the future I suspect all criminals will be dealt with by means of psycho-pharmacology and the antiquated system of locking people in cages, which is a huge waste of money, and completely ineffective in stopping crime as evidenced by our rates of recidivism.
*will be non-existent.
That is exactly right. And it also helps to believe in a higher power and the idea of redemption and salvation. The left loves the “Carrie” notion of the twisted religious parents, but seems I see in these school shooting cases more cases of agnostic parents and families who don’t believe in much of anything.
True, especially if the perpetrator is a family member, like a spouse. Rather than destroy the entire family, one parent will allow for a child to be abused. Many years ago, I had a girlfriend who claimed her father abused her and based on her behavior at times I always thought it was impossible that her mother didn’t at least suspect that she had been violated under her own roof.
Read Fuller Torrey on the history of psychoanalysis.
No, she handles a difficult and unusual situation suboptimally. Most of us would. No indication she is habitually imprudent, much less lacking in it completely.