Queering Valentine’s Day

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Two years ago, self-proclaimed “Queer Feminist” Sara Alcid complained about the heteronormativity of Valentine’s Day:

“Heteronormativity and gender roles also rear their ugly heads on Valentine’s Day. Gifts for ‘him’ or ‘her’ are clearly divided and marked and it’s almost impossible to find cards that represent queer couples. . . .
“It’s not hard to see why Valentine’s Day is problematic for many feminists. Celebrated traditionally, Valentine’s Day magnifies many of the very systems of domination that we work to critique and dismantle.”

Yes, it’s tragic that advertisers and greeting card companies aim their marketing efforts at the normal 98% of us, rather than pander to the 2% niche market of LGBT-OMG-BBQ-WTF.

In Canada, feminist Kayla Spagnoli — who was an organizer of SlutWalk Ottawa — is fighting against heteronormativity:

Pink Triangle Services has graciously let us use a board room at their office to host a feminist mixer to get together to make Valentine (or Anti-Valentine) Day cards.
We will be supplying card stock and supplies, as well as lots of non-hetero-normative, queer and non-binary card ideas! There will also be tea and candy.
This event is *FREE* but we are asking for a $5 donation if you are able to help cover some supplies and to give back to PTS.
PTS is a safe space*, we are asking everyone to be kind and considerate of the other attendees ie: ask for proper pronouns. Please no strong perfumes. There are non-binary washrooms available. There is an elevator if needed. PTS office is on the 2nd floor of the building.
PTS is having their Women’s Night who will also be welcomed to join.
Everyone is welcomed! Please spread this event.
#FemMixer #Ottawa
*friendly reminder that safe space is not the same as an empowered space.

“Gee, Stacy, how do you find these kooks?”

You have to dive headfirst into the craziness, my friends. So I was searching Twitter for “heteronormativity” — one of the buzzwords of Women’s Studies, an academic swamp crowded with lesbian radicals — when I discovered Ms. Spagnoli boasting of her success in promoting her queer Valentine’s Day event on social media:

Curiosity led me to discover (a) she and her twin sister Jenna have a site called Feminist Twins, (b) Kayla was raised Catholic, (c) she’s bisexual, (d) she is a mortician and (e) she’s been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (BPD).

Before we get to the mental illness, let’s hear about the sex part:

i had sex last night . . .
it was my second date. i knew by the first i would have sex with him.
there alot of different things I want to talk about here, its hard to narrow it down … slut shaming, growing up catholic, love, mental illness, feminism, body positivity … I don’t really know where to start. . . .
I get really moody and unstable when I get in relationships so why can’t I just date and not force myself to feel like I HAVE TO FIND [MR … maybe MS] RIGHT RIGHT NOW!?! . . .
Anyways, we will see where this goes. I don’t think he is “the one” . . .
The thing that makes me the saddest is it took a stranger (well not a complete stranger) and NOT A boyfriend to help me see how people can have [actually] good, [actually] consensual sex. I guess that speaks volumes about the a–holes I have been dating.

So (a) she’s a bisexual feminist, (b) she’s a SlutWalk organizer and (c) she’s been dating a–holes and having bad sex.

Did I mention she’s crazy? Because I covered the 2013 D.C. SlutWalk, and the vibe of serious mental illness was so heavy I think half of them had gotten day passes from St. Elizabeth’s so they could participate. It takes a special kind of crazy to march topless through the streets of Washington, D.C., waving signs and chanting slogans about rape. The solution to that kind of problem isn’t equal rights, it’s Thorazine.

It was a lesbian friend who first told me about the prevalence of borderline personality disorder in the lesbian community. This bit of trivia I filed away in my mind, half-forgotten, until I encountered Women’s Studies professor Lisa Johnson, who organized a pro-lesbian event at her university. In 2010, Professor Johnson published a book, Girl in Need of a Tourniquet: Memoir of a Borderline Personality, describing herself as a “psycho girlfriend” with a history of dysfunctional relationships with both men and women.

Yes, this makes perfect sense to university administrators: Give the “psycho girlfriend” a Ph.D. and put her in charge of your Women’s Studies program so she can host the performance of an event for students called, “How to Be a Lesbian in 10 Days or Less.”

This is not to suggest that all lesbians are crazy. Certainly, few of them are crazy enough to be professors of Women’s Studies, a field pioneered by genuine lunatics like Mary Daly and Joyce Trebilcot. Back in the day, my freelance research in the effects of hallucinogenic drugs led to some serious craziness, but if I’d started babbling about the gender binary and the heterosexual matrix, or ranting that “destruction of the incest taboo is essential to the development of cooperative human community based on the free-flow of natural androgynous eroticism,” the way Andrea Dworkin did, I’d probably be doing the “Haldol Shuffle” in a psychiatric unit somewhere. (As opposed to being a professional blogger, a career that requires complete sanity.) You need a Ph.D. and faculty tenure before you can get paid to spew the kind of deranged gibberish taught in Women’s Studies classrooms, so the amateur feminist nutjobs on Tumblr are frequently disappointed that few people appreciate their volunteer craziness. Kayla Spagnoli recently got a clue:

“Thinking about shifting my activism from feminism to mental illness. It’s been a long time coming. Jason has always wondered why I gave so much to a movement that has always lashed back. It makes sense.”

Follow that clue, Kayla. And stay away psilocybin.

After I engaged Ms. Spagnoli on Twitter, feminists rallied to her defense. This replicates a pattern I observed in 2013:

What you discover is that radicals have two discourses: The exoteric discourse, used when speaking to outsiders, is about “choice,” “equality,” “health,” etc. The esoteric discourse, used among fellow radicals, is an entirely different vocabulary: “Smash patriarchy,” destroy “heteronormativity and gender roles” and “systems of domination.”
And when you pull back the exoteric mask to reveal the esoteric truth of radicalism . . . well, that’s intimidation, you haters!

Feminist ideology is not merely anti-male and anti-heterosexual. The feminist movement is anti-fact and anti-truth.

We are not deceived, because we are not insane.




 

132 comments

  2. Radfems are a subcategory of leftists, who are carefully inoculated against contrary facts, lest they actually start thinking.

  3. This is what demonstrates how twisted these people are. You want to love what you want to love? Fine. A bouquet of roses is about 20 bucks. Buy it. Write, “I’ll love you forever” on the flippin’ card. End of story.

    But no. We must have “queer/non-binary (WTF?)/random combination of letters for every possible demographic “cards” which require a damn meeting to construct.

    Memo to LGBTQXYZ People: I really don’t care. But if you’re so invested in your relationship, you can make do with a nice gift and a decent dinner and stop bothering the rest of the civilized world.

    Thank you.

  4. PTS is a safe space*

    In other words, it’s a “space” where one had better not say a single word that may even appear to question, much less openly criticize, whatever it is that the occupants of the “space” believe / want to hear.

    Yep, it’s a Brave New World that lefties / SJW types (BIRM) are fashioning, one where dissent, argument, and even questions are so disturbing to “brave” [insert victim group here] that they cannot be tolerated for one instant.

    And we reichwingers are the intolerant, close-minded ones…

    friendly reminder that safe space is not the same as an empowered space.

    What’s the difference between these two? For that matter, what does “empowered” mean, anyway? Maybe my White Male Cis-heteronormative blah-blah-blah Privilege is showing, but I sort of assume that people are automatically “empowered” in free country. Want to walk topless down the Mall in DC? Help yourself. Want to work at an abortion clinic as a greeter (“Let me tell you about our D&E special!”)? By all means. Want to shave half your head, have unfulfilling and even violent sex with random people, and complain about the voices in your head? Be my guest. It’s your life… such as it is.

    What these people really want is no only to be free of criticism from life choices that I suspect that they know are (ahem) dubious, but for everybody else to PRAISE them for those choices. I don’t know much about mental illness, but it seems to me that a person who is so desperate for external affirmation, and who has so little self-esteem that he can’t be satisfied with the verdict of his own intellect and heart, needs some pretty serious help.

  5. Spag followed me on Twitter and then immediately blocked me, as if I would follow her crazy ass in a million years. Is that something I don’t understand or is she just nuts?

  6. She has BPD? One word to the young man who was stupid enough to sleep with her: “RUN”!

    An intimate relationship with a borderline woman can only bring you one thing, and that is PAIN. Yeah, she might be good in the sack, and all the drama she causes seems romantic, but it’s not. She’s technically a psychotic, and you can’t win.

  8. “i had sex last night . . .it was my second date. i knew by the first i would have sex with him. . . I don’t think he is “the one””
    The flow chart for this woman’s decision-making must be dizzying. And she wonders why she’s miserable….it’s not her own choices, it’s the Patriarchy!

  9. She has Borderline Personality Disorder. Intimate partnerships is where these people are at their worst, and most unstable. I pity the guy who got involved with her because he has no idea what he’s in for. Compounding the problem is that her BPD is being filtered through her feminism.

  10. Feminism is a system of internal corruption among other things. As with all systems of internal corruption you must tell people they’ll achieve a moral high ground or a superior kind of happiness by giving up everything that makes them happy or makes a stable life. Above all don’t be too clear about it. Use vague words in exoteric dialogue such as ‘Hope and Change’, ‘Universal Harmony’, ‘Heaven on Earth’, ‘the Dictatorship of the Proletariat.’

    There’s much to be said about the power of crowds to indoctrinate and produce moral reorientation. In The Mass Psychology of Fascism Wilhelm Reich recognized this power and later applied these principles to help create the Sexual Revolution. Shorter version of Reich: talking to people about Marxism=boredom, talking to people about sex=enthusiasm. So why not combine the two in order to ‘liberate’ the proles in our revolution. It’s not coincidental that events such as The Vagina Monologues and Slut Walks both involve ‘mass psychology’ which usually produces moral reorientation.

  12. The more that I think about it, the more I realize that it is “The Patriarchy” which causes unfathomable male stress during the first two weeks of February. It is we males in heterosexual marriages and relationships which stress out about jewelry, flowers, candy and expensive dinners.

    What do gay people do? Who’s the one who’s responsible for orchestrating the perfect celebration? Who buys the flowers, the ruby, the chocolate-covered strawberries? The last one to use the strap-on? Do trannies buy themselves a dozen roses?

    Shut up, already. You LGBTQXYZ people should just revel in the fact that that you believe you’ve overcome this bourgeoisie hell.

  14. It’s not about their self-fulfillment, it’s about validation.

    It’s not about what they think about them, it’s about what you think about them.

    It’s not “leave me alone,” it’s “tell me how great I am!”

  15. It is we males in heterosexual marriages and relationships which stress out about jewelry, flowers, candy and expensive dinners.

    Tell me about it!

  17. A “safe space” is where no one says anything. They just look at each other in abject fear of doing anything which might constitute a “micro-aggression.”

  18. Pretty much. My very limited experience with them is that one can agree with everybody else… and maybe talk about the weather.

    Don’t want to upset anybody whose BPD has already been aggravated by having sex with a random stranger when she really didn’t want to…

  20. I think it’s getting a bit out of control even within the community. A gay friend posted on FB about a lesbian who had her golden birthday in a strip club with friends and was attacked by Jezebel, the supposedly feminist online magazine.

  21. She knew she would have sex with him on the first date, but she waited till the second. Why? Something tells me that was the guy’s choice.

  23. In my county, there was judge who used to reserve February 14 every year for contested divorces.

    Always good theater.

  24. Well, it could also be that the part of her brain that generates “common sense” made a valiant effort during date #1 to tell her, “Um, no: bad idea all around” before being bludgeoned back into silence by the part of her brain that generates “batsh!t crazy” during / prior to date #2.

  26. How odd that it never seems to have occurred to Ms. Spag that she’s the one common denominator in her dating life. And furthermore that apparently the circles she hangs out in (of no doubt like-minded individuals) are filled with these “assholes” who apparently aren’t into consensual sex.

    At some point she might reflect on the type of humans this worldview seems to produce.

  27. It’s interesting how these gender identity or sexuality…marginals lean toward professions related to counseling. My neighbor is a FtM transgender (basically a woman doing her best to look like a man, but keeping the female plumbing) with a masters degree in Mental Health counseling who wants to counsel on substance abuse.

    As a former substance abuser and hopelessly confused person psychologically, she/he would be the last person I think qualified for such a position. Sadly, I think this is becoming more prevalent.

  29. “Compounding the problem is that her BPD is being filtered through her feminism.”

    Feminism is basically about enabling women with anti-social tendencies. The feminist claim that “gender is socially constructed” takes on an entirely different meaning when understood in this context. It’s like a shoplifter claiming “property is socially constructed.” That is to say, in some sense the claim is true — “society” does “construct” laws, rules, customs and traditions to which we are expected to conform in order to maintain the social system in which we exist.

    The anti-social personality may become a criminal, or join a marginalized subculture, as an expression of their hostility to these social norms. Or the anti-social personality may become a political revolutionary — a radical — and seek to destroy the society in which he lives. The question that confronts us, as law-abiding citizens who wish to uphold the social order, is whether “reforms” intended to appease the radical are necessary. Are the radical’s grievances legitimate? Or is it the case that the radical is simply a disgruntled misfit whose “political” agenda is actually a form of psychic revenge and self-justifying rationalization?

    We cannot preserve social order by organizing our political system to respond exclusively to the complaints of radicals, because the true radical can never be appeased by “reform.” The real problem is not this or that specific grievance of the radical. Rather, the problem is in the defective anti-social personality of the radical, which can never be fixed by “reform.”

  30. The fields of psychology and sociology are absolutely dominated by women nowadays and, as anyone who went to college knows, the people who major in psychology and sociology are almost always weak-minded nutjobs. You’d meet a girl at a party back in the day and the minute she said she was majoring in psychology it was like, “Oh, I see. Hey, look, there’s my buddy Jeff. Gotta go.”

  31. I don’t often make comments like this, but yours was an amazing comment, deserving of its own post.
    Provided, of course, you haven’t already done so.

  34. You know what they’re exactly like? Annoying, bratty kids.

    Mom and 7-year-old are at the public pool. Mom is chatting with other moms; kid is at the end of the diving board.

    “Mom! Mom, look! Mom…Mommy…Mom…Mom…Mama…watch! Mom, watch! Mom…Mom…MOM, LOOK!”

    [splash]

    “That’s nice dear.”

  35. Yeah, and they want to get together for arts & crafts, like at the “nervous hospital”. I hope they’re bringing the blunt scissors.

  39. I hold you personally responsible for my current incarceration, Stacy!
    My family and friends decided I needed a “rest” due to my unrestrained laughter while pointing at my computer screen. 😉

  41. It is the preservation of the social order that allows these insane people to survive. In a collapsed social order like 90s Bosnia their catastrophic uselessness would be terminal. It is only in a wealthy and highly developed social order that the luxury of humoring the superfluous can exist.

  42. ‘Twasn’t so long ago that we were told that it was none of our business what they did in their bedrooms, and most of us pretty much agreed. Then they moved on to telling us what they did in their bedrooms, and, damn it, you had better approve it and like it and celebrate it!

    In about 15 years, it will be required that all public school students must have at least one documented instance of homosexual sex, just so they can appreciate it.

  47. We are not deceived and we are not insane — so very well said. All the feminist radicals I’ve met (I have a graduate degree in English) were kooky, militant, vile (dropping F-bombs in class), and angry. I never thought to ascribe mental illness to them; but it’s so very clear to me that they are obviously in need of psychotherapy.

  48. No it’s probably just a ”trick” she plays on herself thinking it mitigates the destructive behavior. This is similar to an alcoholic, who after a couple of DWIs decides to ”cut down” on their consumption of alcohol by no longer drinking while actually driving.

  49. What the general public hasn’t been told is a rather large percentage of homosexuals suffer for BPD. Now they want to bring up their own BPD kids with “gay marriage”!

  50. Notice how she refuses to accept responsibility for her actions? How morality never plays a role? It’s pathetic how these types think there’s no moral dimension to sex, that you can simply drop in and out without consequence. It has never worked that way; and, they’re too sick to realize it. It’s so pathetic. How many young minds do these fools poison?

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