Is the ‘Male Feminist’ Cuckold a Hoax?

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Of course, somebody called my attention to the New York Magazine story by “Michael Sonmore” (obviously a pseudonym) who uses feminist arguments to rationalize his wife’s adultery in their “open marriage.” I commented briefly on Twitter but wanted to ignore the story because (a) yuck, and (b) I suspect the story is a hoax. Like Rolling Stone‘s UVA rape hoax, “Michael Sonmore” tells a narrative that is too perfect in its exposition of feminist themes. For example, “Sonmore” describes himself as “an economically dependent househusband coping with the withering drudgery of child-rearing.” Really? Here is a guy in his 30s who is quite obviously well-educated, yet he is “economically dependent”? Times are hard, maybe, but surely they’re not that hard. Maybe a guy with a liberal arts degree can’t find work in whatever field he considers his specialty, but he can still work, right? Well, “Sonmore” tells us, he chose this dependency: “I quit working to stay at home with the kids,” which he describes as his “total withdrawal from the economy and the traditional sources of masculine identity.” See? Too perfect.

If a story seems too good to be true, it’s probably not true, and I suspect “Sonmore” is a hoax designed to elicit reaction — particularly, sexist reactions from men — which will then be cited as proof of what misogynistic pigs men really are. And here’s your big clue that the editors are pulling our collective leg:

She didn’t present it as an issue of feminism to me, but after much soul-searching about why the idea of my wife having sex with other men bothered me I came to a few conclusions: Monogamy meant I controlled her sexual expression, and, not to get all women’s-studies major about it, patriarchal oppression essentially boils down to a man’s fear that a woman with sexual agency is a woman he can’t control. We aren’t afraid of their intellect or their spirit or their ability to bear children. We are afraid that when it comes time for sex, they won’t choose us. This petty fear has led us as a culture to place judgments on the entire spectrum of female sexual expression: If a woman likes sex, she’s a whore and a slut; if she only likes sex with her husband or boyfriend, she’s boring and lame; if she doesn’t like sex at all, she’s frigid and unfeeling. Every option is a trap.

OK, that’s the point at which I called “bullshit” on this story. Whose “sexual agency” is “controlled” by monogamy? Both partners are equally obligated to fidelity in marriage, but to suggest that this is “patriarchal oppression” driven by “a man’s fear” of “a woman he can’t control” is a psychological projection, a reversal of reality.

It is the male’s (relatively) greater sexual independence — a natural fact of biology — that has been the underlying source of feminist resentment for more than four decades. Anyone who believes otherwise is deluded, and so we must ask, could there actually be a “Michael Sonmore,” a man so thoroughly brainwashed by feminist theory that he can’t see through this ideological falsehood?

It’s possible, perhaps. But this recitation of feminist jargon — “patriarchal oppression” and all that — is simply too perfect.

Ace of Spades calls our attention to the implicit racial context of this story. The wife is hooking up with “Paolo”? Too perfect.

UPDATE: Great minds think alike:

Never underestimate feminists’ infinite capacity for deception. Feminism is like a gigantic Ziggurat of Hatred built entirely of lies.




 

141 comments

  1. There have been plenty of cuckolded men in the past and there will be in the future…

    http://www.strangehistory.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/fingers-behind-head.jpg

    Heck, most Muslim men in Africa (but coming soon to a Sharia neighborhood by you) are so worried about it that they have their women “fixed” by home done surgery to avoid it happening to them.

    https://banislamofficial.files.wordpress.com/2013/11/female-circumcision-only-whores-need-a-clitoris.jpg?w=700

  2. Yeah, but how many cuckolded men (a) volunteer to cooperate in their wives’ adultery and then (b) describe it in pitch-perfect Women’s Studies jargon?

  3. True, they still have an enough shame to hope no one notices (even though everybody does notice)

    Still, if anyone would understand it is you with your Ph.D. in the subject, never underestimate the power of feminism to rot the mind and soul.

  4. He should veil his wife and keep her locked in a room when men come over. If he doesn’t do that he could die of some disease or start an epidemic. The Black Death was because of unveiled women or witches… or something. Who knows how many men in the East India Company died just from effing hookers? But the Mughals? Nope. They cruised on to long lives cuz they kept their dames on ice and gave them jewels to play with in the dark.

  5. I think our Gracious Host also missed something else important here – the idea that there’s nothing masculine about raising children.

    Hell, one source of the problems many of our institutions have today (example: education) is that there /aren’t/ any masculine figures left.

  6. It’s likely a pseudonym at least. Sonmore is an uncommon name (a Whitepages search only locates about 50 adults in the whole country). About 6% of the population lives in Minnesota, Colorado, or
    Washington state, but about 75% of the adults carrying the name Sonmore
    do, so I’d wager it’s just a couple of extended families.

    Noodling around Ancestry and Whitepages, the closest match to this man is a Chad Michael Sonmore, age 38, resident in suburban Minneapolis. However, this particular Mr. Sonmore is a gainfully employed engineer (and on Linkedin).

    There are locatable on Whitepages fewer than 10 men with this surname who might conceivably be this fellow, and only a couple are in the age range (28-40) which seems most apposite re this man’s home situation. One of these two is the aforementioned Chad Michael Sonmore, who certainly is not this fellow.

    I’m wagering fiction.

  7. Because of my shameless enthusiasm for the clitoris, even thinking about FGM horrifies me. Given the geographic/cultural/religious dimensions of this barbaric brutality, however, you’re probably a racist Islamophobic imperialist for mentioning it.

    [Insert quote from Conrad’s Kurtz here.]

  8. I understand there is a (horreurs!) signing bonus awaiting male teachers at LAUSD because the ranks of schoolteachers skew so heavily female, and the sense is that kids actually need role models. Have not been able to confirm readily, though.

  9. “For example, “Sonmore” describes himself as “an economically dependent househusband coping with the withering drudgery of child-rearing.”
    ?
    I’m a man: I have no children of my own, but I used to keep one of my nephews for a month at a time in the summers, and other nieces and nephews for a week at a time in the summers and at Christmas. I *never* experienced taking tare of these children as “the withering drudgery of child-rearing”.

    What I cannot wrap my mind around is *any* woman who would rather spend her day in a damned cubicle (as I do), well reimbursed though it may be — much less in the sort of low-pay jobs women *do* gravitate towards — rather than nurturing her own flesh-and-blood children, with a husband who cherishes her and puts in the real drudgery of going to work every day, even when he doesn’t want to.
    The only thing I can put it down to is brain-washing.

  10. As said, the Sonmore article is most likely a piece of agitprop. But if it should be true, I would suspect the reason Sonmore’s wife might be “looking for satisfaction elsewhere” is because he is such a pathetic self-pitying example of non-masculinity.

  12. So open minded that not only are his brains falling out, but he has allowed his family heritage to be being trashed right in his arms and in his own bed. What if one of her lovers gives her a virus that she passes to him. Now that would be the gift that keeps on giving, would it not? Or what if one of her lovers makes her a better offer and she not only leaves him, but moves far away with his children?

    Apart from the heartache, he is a good distance down the road of splitting his family assets with his (ex) wife and then he would have to get a real job too!.

  13. Saw this story doing the rounds and it immediately tingled my bullshit senses.

    Like “Jackie” or the feminist who supposedly aborted her baby because he was a boy, it’s too on-the-nose with zeitgeisty political preoccupations.

    Also it quite clearly wasn’t written by a man.

  16. …I have read better Science Fiction than the “Feminist Husband” that will not kick the b*tch out of the house!

  17. So, what does this tell us about New York magazine? And though this article may be a hoax, given recent events transforming the institutions of marriage and family, might this be the first shot in “battlefield preparation” for a new offensive?

  18. It could just be because divorce has become much more mainstream. I’d wager a lot of modern young women figure they’d better have job skills/experience to fall back should they suddenly find themselves single again, with children to provide for.

  19. What “race” is “Paulo” supposed to be? That name could be Spanish or Italian, both of which are ethnicities, not races, and both of which are historically Caucasian, as are most people from South America.

  21. I assume anything coming out of the MSM is a hoax, which is why I haven’t watched TV news in 15 years. Then again, I’m reminded of the old joke:

    Q: What’s the difference between parody and reality in 2015 America?
    A: I know, right!?

  22. There is a piece going around right now about a study that shows that cats might be making their owners mentally ill through exposure to their feces. Feminists and cats. Feminists and mental illness. It’s now a chicken and egg question: is she a crazy cat lady because she’s crazy? Or is she a crazy cat lady because the cats made her crazy?

  23. You know who disdains child-rearing as “withering drudgery”? Intellectuals. Normal people view paid employment as a job, i.e., a necessity, what we are required to do to pay the bills. The intellectual does not have a job. The intellectual has a career. They view their “work” (arguing about ideas) as the true substance of their lives, the basis of their reputation. Nothing is more important to an intellectual than his (or her) reputation as an intellectual, for this is what they aim to bequeath to the future — a Famous Name, known for a Great Idea. The routine stuff of a normal person’s normal life strikes the intellectual as a complete waste of time. Grocery shopping, taking the kids to soccer practice, folding laundry — there is nothing there of interest to the intellectual. Family life adds nothing to the prestige of the intellectual’s reputation. A child’s happiness does nothing to enhance the intellectual’s status as a thinker of Great Ideas.

    Feminism is a movement organized by intellectuals, advancing the peculiar interests and resentments of women in the intelligentsia.

  25. If you haven’t read the Dark Herald’s fisking of it yet, it’s hilarious. An excerpt:

    As I write this, my children are asleep in their room, Loretta Lynn is on the stereo, and my wife is out on a date with a man named Paulo. It’s her second date this week; her fourth this month so far. If it goes like the others, she’ll come home in the middle of the night, crawl into bed beside me, and tell me all about how she and Paulo had sex. I won’t explode with anger or seethe with resentment. I’ll tell her it’s a hot story and I’m glad she had fun. It’s hot because she’s excited…

    Paulo…Really?!

    Just wait until she tells you about how she got sealed tight by T-Bone, Jizzy Dog and a third guy whose name she didn’t catch.

    and I’m glad because I’m a feminist.

    Yes, you are indeed a desperately sad, neutered cuckold. You have fun with that.

    Before my wife started sleeping with other men, I certainly considered myself a feminist,

    I’m sure, I would have considered you one too. You have easily blown whatever microcosm of doubt I could have had on this point, completely out of the water.

  26. Is it the cat’s feces per se, or parasites in the feces? If the latter, then they ought to skip the middleman, so to speak, and become crazy parasite ladies.

  28. There have been many men who have opted to be stay-at-home househusbands because their wives had far greater earning power; there are also those who figured, “Meh, can work for Teh Man, or I can stay home and watch Perry Mason reruns on MeTV,” whle my wife works.

    And Mr Sonmore’s story could well be true: people working outside the home have a lot more opportunities to meet other interesting people, people with whom they have something in common — normally: their jobs — so the lovely Mrs Sonmore just might have met a Paolo or three, whilst her long-suffering husband was changing dirty diapers.

    But I’m afraid you missed it in your comments on Mr Sonmore’s rationalization. If there’s any truth to Mr Sonmore’s story at all, it’s that he can’t take care of business in the bedroom, so his lovely wife is coupling up with men who can.

    And for him, that’s a financially deadly trap: Mrs Sonmore is out meeting men who can make her loins quiver — turn of phrase definitely intended for one of the regulars here — and they are almost certainly men who are actually out making money. When Mr Sonmore gets dumped, as he probably will be, he’s going to have a difficult time trying to get a job when he has that big ol’ hole in his résumé, out of work for several years playing “househusband.”

  29. Oh of course this is fake. Not that I realized it before you said it but once you did, its obvious. I read the first couple sentences when it came out but my visceral disgust prevented me from reading more.

  30. This “is it real or fake” question sort of reminds me of the controversy in 1950’s France about whether “The Story Of O” was written by a woman or a man.

    That this “article” *was* actually written, and that the Left encourages it, is bad enough.

  31. They consider such fame a sort of immortality. They consider anything less mere oblivion after they die.

    Even if you are agnostic/atheist, the science is settled that the best way for immortality is passing your genes onto a new generation.

  33. Of course, Mr Sonmore tells us that they kind of take turns going out:

    It does work both ways and, yes, I too enjoy sexual carte blanche. I just don’t use mine as much as my wife uses hers. What’s important is equality of opportunity, not outcome.

    Let’s tell the truth: as a househusband, he has the opportunity to meet the housewives, some of whom don’t have husbands who really rock their worlds either. But if he has put this story in print, then he’s told it to the women he meets, and they all read between the lines: no sense screwing him, ’cause he’s not worth it.

  38. When I read initially, I concluded it was probably fake. But I thought it might have been written by red-piller as a mockery of modern feminist nonsense.

  39. So we see the next thing that will render me a “HATER!” if I disagree with it.

    So we see the next thing that will get your church shuttered if the pastor dares to preach against it.

    Fake story or not means nothing. The populace sees something enter their mainstream and they declare it normal.

  40. Actually, I think the very next thing to get your church shuttered will be polygamous marriage.

    Also, don’t sell yourself short RKae. We know that you’re a “HATER!” due to a wide – perhaps infinite – variety of cultural preferences and lifestyle choices. HAHAHAHAHA!

  41. It may be a hoax, or it maybe this decade’s swing at 1970’s Swingers .. this time with kale and quinoa instead of bell bottoms and love beads.

    Yes, the patter is too pat, but I remember talking with the wife of a couple my then husband and I had socialized with a few times and she was all into trying to recruit us to “swing” and much of the rah-rah-polyamory makes our relationship stronger! stuff sounded very much like this schlub. (needless to say THAT was the last time I ever acknowledged even the existence of that couple)

  42. I’ll agree with you that men shouldn’t be raising children unless they have no choice. That takes a woman. Raising a child requires training him to repetitively perform certain life tasks pertaining to politeness, grooming, cleanliness, consideration for others, chores, homework, etc., etc.

    Because you can’t realistically supply spankings to enforce this, lest they begin to lose meaning (and at which point you lose your big gun, enforcement-wise), you have to be prepared for near 24/7 nagging.

    And men don’t really have the heart for constant nagging, which to them seems so pointless. But they’re wrong, because the child will begin to comply just to turn off the nag machine. If done properly, the Mom will eventually be able to supply direction and correction with just a look. My adult kids still respond to my facial direction, which is good, because I don’t like to threaten them with a wooden spoon anymore at their age.

  43. It does become somewhat self fulfilling doesn’t it? There is nothing women would find attractive in a male feminist other than the ability to use him for propaganda.

  44. …and in related news, interesting to see that Ashley Madison has been hacked and their customers are being threatened with exposure unless the site closes down.

  45. Exactly.
    AND, since all the good ideas have already been thought of, hundreds, if not thousands, of years ago, that’s why they have to come up with stupid and destructive ideas.

  46. Women almost never “find” themselves single again, no more than they “find” themselves “unexpectedly pregnant”.
    Both are, almost always, the results of deliberate decisions “strong, independent woman” make — because they know that men will protect them from the full ramifications.

  48. Well, after Paolo studs his wife, maybe they will let him stay there as the cuckolded wet nurse.

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