Queer Feminist @Girly_Juice Explains Why You Should Avoid Queer Feminists

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Kate Sloan (@Girly_Juice) is an example of what I mean when I say every feminist’s ideal boyfriend is a Hitachi Magic Wand. She describes herself as a “Cis queer kinky poly femme feminist.” Also, she’s Canadian, which is another good reason to avoid Canada, as if you needed any more.

Feminism is an anti-male hate movement. Everyone understands this, except for those pathetic masochists who call themselves “male feminists.” No feminist ever dated a man except to obtain the sadistic revenge of humiliating the men she dates. The only way a feminist ever looks at a male is down. To be male is to be inferior, according to feminist theory, and so in her every interaction with a male, the feminist is merely giving him the opportunity to prove his inferiority. Like every other feminist, Kate Sloan habitually mocks and demeans males, which was the point of her recent column with this headline:

The Dangers Of Dating Faux-Feminist Men

What is a “faux-feminist” man? Basically any heterosexual man who thinks of himself as a feminist. If you are male, Kate Sloan hates you, and in feminist discourse, heterosexuality is a synonym for oppression.

In her column, Kate Sloan begins by describing her vindictive humiliation of “a passably nice boy I’d met on Tinder.” She uses the pseudonym “Liam” for this boy, and describes him as “smart, funny, creative, interesting, and a terrific cuddler.” This is obviously false, because (a) there are no “nice boys” on Tinder, and (b) any man who would date Kate Sloan can’t be very smart. No man with an IQ above room temperature would ever speak to a queer feminist, especially not a Canadian queer feminist. Do I even have to explain this? Or would it be sufficient to point out that Kate Sloan’s web site has page after page of dildo reviews?

Look, pal, if you want to date a vibrator connoisseur like Kate Sloan, don’t let me stop you. However, even in 2016 there are still plenty of women who actually like normal sex with human males, and maybe you should consider trying to find one of those instead. Also, queer feminist Kate Sloan helpfully includes a naked picture of herself on her “About” page, if you need any further incentive to avoid her completely.

Why would a “nice boy” want to interrupt Kate Sloan’s solitary pursuit of battery-operated fun? Oh, I almost forgot — you’re a “male feminist.” Or at least you thought you were until you dated Kate Sloan, and then she deliberately started a pointless argument about movies:

I wanted, so badly, to give him the benefit of the doubt. I wanted him to cede that Hollywood’s misogyny is a bad thing, or even a real thing. But he didn’t acknowledge any of that. . . . He kept walking and holding my hand, like nothing had changed.
Struggling to keep my voice even, I told him, “If you don’t see gender injustice in the world, it’s because you’re a straight, white, able-bodied cis dude, and you’re blinded to those things by your privilege.”
“Oh, here we go,” he snapped, his veneer of cool condescension bending at last. “Men aren’t more privileged than women. Different people have different levels of privilege depending on what’s going on in their lives. For example, in divorce courts –”
That’s when I let go of his hand. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that I threw his hand away from me like it was a rotting rat corpse I’d found behind the couch. “Nope,” I barked. “I can’t have this conversation with you. I’m going to get too mad at you and we are going to break up if we have this conversation.”
That night, I went home and texted my four closest friends: three ardently feminist women and one dude who I considered a pretty solid ally. “Do I have to break up with him?” I implored after explaining the situation. All three women immediately blew up my phone with all-caps yeses. . . .
I’d assumed he was a feminist because, in my mind, any good and decent man would be. My experiences up til then had mostly confirmed this. But in Liam’s case, being a good and decent man wasn’t enough, if he didn’t also believe in the systemic struggles women face. . . .

You can read the rest of that, but ask yourself this: Why would any “good and decent man” date Kate Sloan, who is neither good nor decent? Perhaps a Venn diagram would be helpful in understanding this.

 

You see that these are non-intersecting sets. However “passably nice” this guy she met on Tinder may have been, he wasn’t good or decent, or else he would not have dated a Canadian queer feminist like Kate Sloan.

Her experiences led her to an existential crisis:

What does it mean for a man to be truly feminist? Is that even possible, or is a man only ever, at best, a feminist ally and a recovering misogynist? . . .
For feminist women, dating men can feel like a lose-lose proposition. Either you settle for someone who invalidates your politics and therefore your personhood, or you gamble on a man who claims to support your cause but may or may not actually give a s–t.

Heterosexual feminism is impossible. It’s a “lose-lose proposition,” because feminists hate men with such white-hot intensity that no man could ever hate himself enough to qualify as a “male feminist.” Why even talk to Kate Sloan? A feminist never wants to hear a word any man has to say, because men are always wrong about everything.

No intelligent man would waste time talking to Kate Sloan. Just let her stay home alone with her collection of dildos and vibrators. But maybe you’re not an intelligent man. Maybe you’re so stupid that even if I told you not to click here to see a photo of Kate Sloan with her, uh, equipment, you’d click it anyway, despite my warning that you can never un-see it.

 

104 comments

  4. “Hitachi Magic Wand.”

    I wish you wouldn’t use phrases like this Stacy, for the benefit of your stupider readers. Obviously, I can guess from context what this is, but I was tempted to google it to see specifically what is so “magic” about it, but then similar ads will start popping up on websites every time I use the internet, so that was a no-go. Plus, what would the NSA think?

    I’m assuming that it is a device similar to those pictured above, but I wouldn’t know, because I’ve never used such a thing. I’m a normal Christian lady, and I prefer flesh, body heat and external thrust, and I believe it’s unlikely that Hitachi delivers these perks, which makes it not-so-magical, imo.

    Mr. DM can vouch for the fact that I am extremely naive, but still, if you must mention these things, at least have Wombat link them back to Amazon in the article so I know what you’re talking about. Out of, you know, perverted idle curiosity.

  7. I’ve never seen one, but it’s famous, so I know a little about it (and just refreshed my memory on the details). If you want to see one without any incriminating searches or URLs, the Original is second on Walmart’s list of massagers, and you can search the same page for Rechargeable. (Hitachi rebranded it as just “Magic Wand,” because they didn’t want their name associated with what has become known as a sex toy.)

    The reason why it’s such a big deal is because the Original has a cord and has been around for over 30 years, so for the longest time it could blow away any cordless with its 10W motor at 5-6k vpm. However, now they have a Rechargeable — one of Kate Sloan’s favorites, incidentally, and since she’s a professional onanist I would trust her judgement on that if nothing else. It reportedly has a 17W motor with four speeds instead of two, from 2.7-6.3k vpm; and since you can use it while it’s charging, you’re losing nothing (except an extra $65 over the $60 Original).

    There. I hope that satisfies all your curiosity about a device that I hope you never need. 😉

  8. I will NEVER need. I’m awesome, and all I need is an actual man (preferably heavily armed, heh heh). I don’t believe there is any substitute. =) This would be like a $5 cubic zirconia in a gold-tone setting instead of an actual diamond, I figure.

    But thank you for the info. Makes me feel sorry for lesbians. Ain’t nothin’ like the real thing, baby.

    EDIT: clicked on your helpful link. Want to ask lots of questions about how this works for the implied purpose, when…uh…mm…insertion doesn’t seem…uh…possible, based upon my experience with…uh…insertable things, which includes only one single “device” that God gave me for that purpose. Again, I guess I’m hopelessly naive and am asking too many questions. Maybe ought to have Mr. DM or one of my family members explain it to me, if possible. Again, I can solve differential equations, but not…mm…issues involving…uh…things.

    EDIT2: you said “blow away”…just sayin’.

  9. You forgot to put “back massager” in quotes. Any additional purposes, I’m apparently too stupid to understand. Probably better for me that way.

  10. Ms. Sloan googles her name on a daily basis because of her importance in the world of feminism, and found this article!

  11. Making the claim that you are a ‘male feminist’ immediately invalidates your participation in the dating game as anything other than a creepy sleeze. Seriously?

  13. Well, if a dude told me he was a male feminist, I’d kick him in the nuts and tell him to eff off, so I guess that would make him kind of a sleaze. I’d prefer an actual man, not a male feminist.

    Any guy that claims to be a male feminist needs to stop that, right now.

  14. Everytime I read another story of ‘male feminism’ I can’t help but be embarrassed on behalf of all men.

  16. If you claim to be a male feminist, you deserve all of the abuse and distain to be heaped on you.

  17. Either you settle for someone who invalidates your politics and therefore your personhood. . .

    There is quite a lot of pathology packed in that clause. First, there is the assumption/assertion that successful relationships are predicated upon completely identical beliefs and opinions. Second that disagreement constitutes dehumanization. Third, is the idea that one’s existence is synonymous with one’s politics. I could go on, but it’s probably a good thing that Ms. Sloan has taken up Onanism has a hobby, inasmuch as the likelihood of her finding a lasting life-partners seems to be minimal.

  18. Agreed. No need to alienate heterosexual effeminate masochist sycophants that may
    want to AVOID tattooing a target on their foreheads
    so the dogs in the manger will play with them.
    Cleveland Steamers can be tough to come by as it is, without FURTHER ridicule from the ALREADY
    envious Penis deprived (their own, or others) .

  20. Good morning! Just give me a moment to go over my daily checklist here…

    -Apologize for being born male
    -Apologize for being born white
    -Apologize for being born heterosexual (like 98.5% of humanity)

    Now that I’ve apologized for how I was born, I shall go around denouncing sexism and racism because they denounce people for how they were born.

  21. I think I’d rather try and meet women at the local dog park. At least I’d be assured we’d have at least one common interest.

  22. I Googled my real name once! Turns out I have several dopplegangers. I even get email for one of them at work on occasion.

  24. LOL I don’t have to Google my name I have obsessed loons who do that several times a day.

  26. I just went to her twitter feed, OMG she is so depraved and so unattractive that she has to post ugly pics of her saggy boobs and her pimply bum. Why do sexual degenerates feel the need to spill their filth in public as if it were something special.

  29. The first time I ever heard of this device was reading Kathy Shaidle’s Confessions of a Failed Slut. She was appropriately amusing in describing the, um, appliance and focused heavily on how it was actually somewhat embarrassing to Hitachi that this has been their most consistently big seller for the past three decades.

    Hitachi even once renamed it and experienced a firestorm of protest.

    All of this, including the actual existence of the Magic Wand, was unknown to me before I read Shaidle’s book. I was more surprised than I should have been.

    Anyway, I recommend her book. It’s a short read and is available on Kindle.

  30. Well, there is an actual group “Queers for Palestine” so male feminists, yeah, why not?

    These are people who probably think The Lion King is a documentary.

  33. I expect that for people like this Sloan, life is a constant series of confrontations and one-upmanship.

  34. Nobody is “born heterosexual.” It is an artificial construct imposed upon us by the patriarchy.

    “Gender” is fluid. Being gay, however, is hardwired. See also, we have always been at war with Eastasia.

  35. They’re embarrassed and desperately want to be normal. Or rather, to browbeat everyone into agreeing they’re normal.

    Or else they’re self loathing manifests as rage towards the mundanes. Maybe both.

  37. So somebody who blogs about her sex life might be a tad bit self absorbed, you think?

    Hmmm…

  38. I’d bet that guy was completely fine with her breaking up with him. If that’s even what happened. Chances are shes lying

  39. From time to time it’s useful in determining how far off grid one’s gone. unfortunately one has to spend money in order to be sure there are no outstanding warrants.

  42. As soon as I see someone claiming to be a “male feminist”, I immediately stop reading. Other “trigger phrases” that cause me to stop reading:
    “sustainability”, “renewable resources”, “social justice”, etc.

  43. Are you serious? It’s one thing to dislike her article or to not agree with her beliefs, but it’s quite another thing to start personally attacking her appearance, or how she presents herself. Is this constructive criticism? No. Would you like it if someone started commenting on your profile image/etc? No. You’re an adult, act like one. Despicable.

  44. I looked at her twitter and I may have misread it but I am almost sure she says that her father bought her some sex toys as a gift.

  45. Your comment/criticism assumes that an evaluation of Ms. Sloan in its entirety has sprung from the head of Zeus fully formed and without any context. She is not some random, discrete, person on the street or generic Facebook presence. She has set herself up as some sort of sex guru and publicly revels in her “exploits.” McCain’s post notes her rather picky attitude about a male acquaintance/friend/lover while at the same time, she demonstrates a singular lack of discrimination in other encounters. She has anointed herself a sex goddess, thereby inviting comment. Noting that she is not Helen of Troy reincarnated is not unfair..

  46. ” someone who invalidates your politics and therefore your personhood”

    There we have the problem. When your entire identity and personhood, self esteem and ego are all wrapped up in something as screwed up as POLITICS, you are going to be a mentally ill individual. Modern politics should NOT be what someone bases their entire personal identity on. It is just plain sick and reeks of mental instability to me.

    I would just love to ask this woman, just WHY politics is so central to her personhood.

  47. She has posted nude photo of her breasts her bum and her whole body. She has publicly cheapen herself and deliberately made herself into an object so therefore any criticism is valid

    Oh and waves at the troll who is too much of a coward to use their real name.

  48. Expect to see my post on a trolls feed with exclamation at how “hateful” I am!

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